Yellow Jacket
by deCaeloIgnis
Summary: Asha breathed him in, a mix of sweat and dirt and him that was surprising comforting. 'I hope so,' she said honestly. 'I do. But I'm not holding my breath, and until then,' she gave him a small smile. 'I'll stick to following you.' 'Pfft,' he waved her comment off. She laughed. 'Don't worry Dixon, I'll only follow you whilst you're going in the right direction.' [eventual DD/OC]
1. Chapter 1

**[A/N: Hi all. This is my first fanfic. Hope you enjoy (and i'm _very_ interested in your thoughts on it). I'm having a freakin' blast writing it!]**

* * *

With the sun warm on her back and dancing off the eddying river in front of her, Asha could almost ignore the stench of putrefying flesh that lay thick in the air. The gurgle of the water was peaceful and she scanned its surface for the telltale signs that the pool in front of her harboured fish. She deliberately didn't look at the corpse spread eagled on the grassy bank at the edge of her line of sight. A flap of greying flesh hung from its face where she'd scraped it with her knife, and the rest of its face sagged away from the gaping hole in its forehead where she'd finally driven her knife home. The deadhead's milky eyes were glassy, staring unseeing at the clear blue sky, and it's swollen tongue protruded through its lipless maw. Asha could smell it though, the stink cloying in the back of her throat, like week old ungutted fish left stewing in the sun.

She closed her mind to it, letting her thoughts drift aimlessly as her eyes tracked across the surface of the water. A blank mind was a true luxury these days, a chance to forget the fear, the hunger, the unrelenting loneliness—if just for a moment. It wasn't a luxury she often allowed herself, but she'd have fair warning of anything coming up on her. The scrub behind her was too thick for anything to get to get close without making plenty of noise. She had clear view to her right, and downstream to her left, she could see a few hundred meters to the partially obscured bridge spanning the river just beyond the bend. She could just make out a number of abandoned cars on the bridge, but so far it had been quiet— either that or she just hadn't gotten close enough to stir up any of the deadheads yet. Her pack was only a foot away if she had to make a run for it, and she did have to eat.

So she leant further out the river, bracing herself with one hand wrapped in a tree growing on the water's edge, spear gun held low and ready in the other hand, and watched for the shadows moving just under the surface of the water.

Her arm began to ache after a bit and she grimaced slightly. Her brother was a lot better at this. For a second she thought longingly about a stretch of ocean with a bit of reef or rocky headland. If she had that— and a pair of fins and snorkel to go with her spear gun— hunger would be one less thing she had to worry about. She shook her head slightly to dislodge the thought. She was in the backwoods in Georgia and the river was what she had to work with.

Nash had taught her the basics, but spearing fish in the little pools of relatively still water along the river's edge was a lot different to dealing with ocean currents. More often than not she came up empty handed. She had one small fish to show for her mornings work already, but she'd seen movement in the pool earlier and she could almost taste the larger fish that was hiding there just out of sight.

Nash had always managed to get them something. Asha's hands trembled slightly as she remembered the herd that had separated them.

They'd more or less been sticking to the river as they travelled, breaking away every now and then to scavenge through isolated farms and the occasional small town. But they always came back to the river. It had been their life blood so far and the rough plan had been follow to it downstream, maybe all the way to West Point Lake, until they found somewhere to hole up for the winter.

In the past they'd been able to avoid any large groups of deadheads by crossing the river. Sure, all of their gear got wet and it was a pain in the ass, but so far they hadn't encountered any walkers who could cope with the fast moving current.

Her gut clenched involuntarily as she remembered how they'd been caught out. They'd become lax— lulled into a false sense of security by having the water at their backs. But this time, when the herd came through, they hadn't been together. Nash had been in the woods, checking some snares they'd set up in the hope of breaking their monotonous fish diet. Asha had been near the water, and though she'd held out as long as she could, scrabbling together as much of their gear as she could manage, desperately screaming her brother's name, she'd eventually been forced to flee across the river.

The extra time she had spent on the river bank had nearly cost her dearly. Her shouts had drawn a swarm of deadheads to her, and more than usual had followed close on her heels out into the water. A fleshless hand had grasped her shoulder as she'd stumbled into the deep water, forcing her sideways into the water as she lost her footing. For a few panicked moments she had been pinned against the rock riverbed as gnashing teeth fought their way towards her face - until she'd been able to get her spear gun around and through cadaver's head, kicking desperately away to avoid the plume of infected blood and gunk that spewed forth as she yanked the spear free. That incident had nearly put her in reach of some of the other deadheads who'd followed her into the river, and for a few tense minutes she had swum frantically for the far bank, until she outdistanced them across the current, and dragged herself sobbing and shaking out of the water.

She been afraid to leave the river after that. The herd must have forced Nash away from the river, but she knew he'd come back to it.

She continued downstream, stopping every so often to carve a coded sign into a tree. She had worked out the code with Nash early on— just in case they got separated. At first she hadn't been too worried, confident they would meet up within a day or two. But as the days turned into a week, then two, and now almost a month, the fear had settled in a cold dark ball at the base of her spine and she could feel its fingers trailing through her body whenever she thought of her brother.

He wasn't dead. She felt sure she would know it in her bones if he was.

She had taken to crossing the river every few days, to make sure she was leaving a trail on both sides— and anxiously searching for any sign her brother had passed by. The chill in the water on the last crossing had reminded her that she couldn't keep this up indefinitely. The river was fine in the tail end of summer, but the plan had always been to find somewhere more secure to ride out the winter. Her mind shuddered away from the thought of leaving the river, leaving the place Nash would look for her.

A few more days.

A few more days and then she would start looking for somewhere nearby to ride out the winter. Somewhere secure where she could sleep for more than an hour at a time, maybe stockpile some food. She was tired, all the way through to her bones and her soul. The snatches of sleep she could manage without someone to trade watch with weren't enough. The meagre fish she caught were keeping her alive for now, but without being supplemented by scavenging runs into towns, she was losing strength quickly and knew it.

Just a few more days.

A shriek shattered the air. Asha jerked involuntarily, cursing as her shadow startled the fish she'd been stalking and it darted out of the pool.

In the direction of the bridge, the shriek resolved itself into a baby's scream, the sound suddenly interspersed with shouting voices and the crack of gunfire. Asha winced at the sound, and hesitated for a long moment before swinging herself back to the bank, grabbing up her pack and stuffing her paltry fish in the top of set off quickly over the gravelly bank towards the sound.

Baby meant people. People were dangerous, and she generally avoided them. But if Nash was anywhere nearby, that sound would draw him like a beacon. He knew as well as she did what people were capable of these days, but somehow he hadn't absorbed that lesson into the very core of his being the same way she had.

As she neared the bridge, she darted into the cover of the trees along the bank, scrambling up the steep embankment towards the side of the road leading onto the bridge. She peered around a tree as she approached the edge of the road, before darting forward to crouch behind a car that had half slid into the embankment.

The baby's cries were coming from a red station wagon about halfway across the bridge. Asha could just make out a dark haired woman in the front passenger seat, clutching the infant to her chest, her face streaked with tears. A blast of gunfire drew her attention to the nearby open tray back of a large truck, where a man and teenaged boy— father and son she assumed— were firing desperately at the swarm of deadheads weaving in between the cars on the bridge. Asha grit her teeth at the noise. They were ringing the god damn dinner bell. How had they lasted this long without knowing better?

She quickly scanned the trees behind her and swore under her breath when one of the dead staggered from the trees a few meters to her right. His filmy, off center eyes quickly fixed on her and lit up with bestial hunger. He lurched forwards, clawlike hands outstretched.

Asha caught a glimpse of a second not far behind him as she swung her spear gun around and stepped forward to meet him, driving the point of the spear up under his jaw and into his skull. She hissed in irritation as the spear refused to come free and the deadhead's collapsing weight dragged it to the ground. She let it go for the moment, grabbing her knife from the sheath strapped to her thigh and backing into a crouch to let the second deadhead come to her. It stumbled slightly as it tripped on the first body, and Asha lashed out with a quick kick that sent it sprawling before leaping onto it and burying her knife in its skull. A quick survey of the trees didn't show any further immediate threat, and she backed up quickly against the car, breathing hard, to check on the status on the bridge.

The baby still screamed, but Asha thought she could make out an undercurrent of the mother's rapid prayer in spanish. Her stomach dropped as she realised a deadhead was scrambling through the open boot of the station wagon. Another had its hands wrapped around the father's leg and was dragging him off the tray back, whilst his son fought to hold on to him by his shoulders. As far as Asha could see neither father nor son had a gun any more.

She swore and started shrugging her pack off, but before she had her arms free, the corpse clawing at the father suddenly rocked back, a crossbow bolt between its eyes, and slumped to the ground. Frozen, Asha looked on stunned as a man strode onto the bridge, cocked crossbow at his shoulder.

He was a rangy guy, but solidly muscled, scruffy dark hair falling over his face. He moved towards the back of the truck, near the father and son. His eyes were focused and he exhaled a sharp breath— the only sign that he was at all fazed by the dozen or so deadheads still on the bridge. In a single fluid motion, he fired a bolt into a rotting head of blond hair then yanked it out and stabbed it into the skull of second deadhead.

Taking advantage of the distraction, the father had leapt off the tray back and was rummaging around the refuse on the ground. When he stood up, he had his gun in his hand. The newcomer said something to him, but a frantic 'no entiende, no entiende' was the response.

Asha bit her lip, the hispanic family obviously didn't know the newcomer.

The bowman hissed in irritation, but quickly turned his attention back to the dead. There was a startled scream from the woman in the station wagon as the deadhead clawing at the windscreen of the station collapsed with a bolt in its brain. The man didn't bother to reload, just raised the bow like a club and bludgeoned a second corpse against the passenger side window. Behind him, the father picked off the dead with steady clean headshots. The bowman moved quickly around the station wagon and bodily dragged the deadhead out before slamming the boot door on its head with a sickening crunch.

A second newcomer strolled onto the bridge. He was big man, somewhat older than the bowman, but despite his silver hair, it was a bigness of bone and ropy muscle rather than fat. A faint sneer was playing about his lips as he meandered through the abandoned cars. His right hand was missing, but his forearm was covered in some sort of strapping, and Asha started slightly as he casually reached out with the stump and shoved a deadhead over the edge of the bridge.

He casually raised the handgun in his left hand.

'Oi! Walker.' He called out calmly to draw the bowman's attention to a cadaver lurching towards his back.

The bowman turned and then jerked out of the way as the one handed man shot the walker cleanly through the skull.

The newcomers obviously had the deadhead situation under control, so Asha took the moment to recover her spear gun. She planted a foot on what was left of the corpse's chest and jiggled it around a few times.

It was stuck fast. She slid her knife into the deadhead's jaw along the spear shaft and had to work the spear head lose before she was able to yank it out, grunting with the effort, and splattering herself with globules of flesh. She gagged involuntarily.

The two newcomers were obviously adept at dealing the dead, but she was far less inclined to show herself now they were involved. In Asha's experience, men with those skills weren't necessarily known for their altruistic tendencies. She doubted their presence on the bridge boded well for the family.

Her jaw clenched, but based on what she'd just seen she wasn't about to take on either of them for the sake of strangers. Gotta be smart about things now. She swallowed the bile rising in her throat.

She crouched back at the front of the car and peered warily around it. The father was struggling hand to hand with a deadhead, whilst the one handed man leaned idly against one of the abandoned cars, looking on with a mildly amused expression.

The bowman loosed another bolt before pulling a knife from his belt and driving it into the skull of the walker struggling with the father. Then he leant back and kicked it squarely in the chest, sending it off the bridge.

It was the last of the immediate walkers, and the bowman and father exchanged a careful look. The father was tight around the eyes, his chest heaving from exertion. The bowman, on the other hand, looked perfectly calm.

The one handed man pushed himself off the abandoned car and strode over to the station wagon. He peered through the bloody smear of walker brain on the front side window, the fingers of his one hand waggling in a little wave. His back was to Asha, but the woman inside drew back, her arms tightening around her babe.

Asha realised she was grinding her teeth as he yanked open the back passenger door behind the mother and child and started rummaging through the family's belongings.

The father took an angry step forwards, shouting something in spanish, his gun half raised. In an instant, the one handed man's gun was pointed unwaveringly at the father's head. Asha's mouth opened slightly, he moved _much_ quicker than she'd expected for a guy of his size and age.

'Slow down there'. His southern drawl was coldly quiet. 'That ain't no way to say thanks.'

He kept his gun trained on the father, who dropped his gun hand to his side and uttered something placatingly sounding in spanish.

The bowman had moved away from the father and was discretely circling around the far side of the station wagon. The father looked across at him, the whites showing around his eyes, and said something else in spanish. From the lack of response, Asha assumed neither newcomer spoke any more spanish than she did.

'Let 'em go,' the younger man said, his gravelly voice quiet, crossbow hanging loosely in one hand.

Asha could feel the weight in the air as his companion looked at him for a long moment.

'Bah,' he spat. 'Least they can do is give us an enchilada or somethin.'

He turned back to pillaging the backseat of the car. There was the sound of glass breaking and material ripping.

The son started towards the car, but his father held out a hand staying him, looking desperately at the man with the bow again, who had kept up his slow circuit of the car and was nearing his companion. The bowman paused, a flicker of conflicting emotions playing across his face, then he raised his crossbow and poked his companion in the back with it. The man in the car went very still.

'Get out of the car'.

'Oh i know you ain't talking to me brother.'

Asha's eyes widened slightly. Brothers. Right.

The older man straightened slowly from the back seat and turned around, eyeing his brother along the bolt pointed at his head. There was the hint of a sneer around his mouth, but his eyes blazed.

'Get in your car and get the hell outta here,' shouted the younger man. The father and son didn't move.

'Go' he roared, gesturing at the car without taking his eyes off his brother.

The meaning of that was clear enough. The father and son piled in and the wheels spun as the red wagon reversed back off the bridge in the direction it had come from.

For a long moment the brothers stared at each other down the length of the crossbow, then the older man reached out and pushed the crossbow up out of his face.

The bowman gave a half snort and stormed away immediately, the tension written plainly in his stiff back and angry strides.

Asha flattened herself behind the car as he came in her direction, but he only paused to scoop up a pack he must have dropped earlier and wrench a couple of bolts from the bodies of walkers before striding into the woods on the other side of the road. His brother followed more slowly, the sneer now open on his face.

Asha slowly exhaled, releasing the breath she hadn't realised she was was unexpected. Her heart was pounding and her mind working overtime.

She quickly scanned the trees, relieved there were no walkers in her immediate vicinity. The hispanic family were gone, but the brothers... They were on foot and didn't have much gear. They couldn't have come from too far away, and if they'd been in the area for a while they might have seen Nash. Her breath hitched.

Those two might be rough around the edges— well, they might be rough all the way through, the older one especially— but they _had_ gone to help that family. To be fair, that looked like it could mostly be credited to the younger brother— but if the worst that had happened was that the family had lost some of their food to the older brother, Asha wasn't sure that she wouldn't call that a fair trade.

She sucked her teeth, trying to work some moisture back into her mouth. The thought of approaching them terrified her, but the behaviour she'd just seen on the bridge was the best indication she was likely to get that she wouldn't be robbed, killed or raped on sight.

Probably.

It was still a gamble.

She hesitated a long moment, knuckles white where they gripped her spear, and then swore violently, lurched to her feet and and started off in the direction the brothers had vanished. Sometimes you just have to roll the dice.

She paused when she reached the middle of the road. Risky, a voice murmured in the back of her mind. She ignored it and clambered quickly onto the hood of a car, slowly turning a full circle, eyes searching across the bridge and into the trees.

It was a long shot, but if Nash was nearby, watching like she had been, she wanted to give him the chance to see her.

Of course, someone else might see her too, but anyone who was watching had already had plenty of opportunity to intervene. Still, her skin crawled whilst she stood up there like a target, and when she'd turned the full 360 degrees without seeing anything other than a handful of deadheads coming down the road in either direction, she leapt down with a mix of relief and disappointment, and headed into the woods after the brothers.


	2. Chapter 2

**[A/N: Thanks so much to those who reviewed, favourited and followed already. Stoked this little story is already getting some interest! This chapter is a little shorter - but i was super keen to get it out, since it's time for Asha to actually meet the Dixon brothers... Enjoy]**

* * *

Asha paused as soon as she was a few metres into the broken light under the trees. Her footsteps were crackling loudly in the leaf litter and she didn't want to startle the brothers and get shot before they realised she wasn't a walker.

As soon as she was quiet, the sound of crickets filled the air. She scanned the area, but couldn't see either man. Her stomach dropped, but then she saw movement off to her left and she half sighed in relief. She started in that direction, moving from tree to tree and careful to keep as quiet as possible.

The sound of raised voices reached her before she could make out the words. The younger brother's voice snapped like whiplash, but, oddly enough, the older man sounded more upset— his voice choked with frustration and something Asha couldn't place.

As soon as she could make out their words, she stalled behind a tree to listen.

'I had to man,' the older man's voice almost broke as he spoke. 'I would'a killed him.'

Asha tensed at the words, suddenly rethinking her decision to follow these men into the woods.

There was a hint of panic in the one handed man's voice as he continued. 'Where ya goin'?'

'Back where I belong.' The younger brother sounded bone tired.

'I can't go with you. I— I tried to kill that black bitch. Damned near killed the Chinese kid.'

'He's Korean,' his brother snapped.

'Whatever.' The older man's voice was unsteady. 'Doesn't matter man, i just can't go with ya.'

There was a long pause, and when the younger brother spoke, something in Asha's chest tightened.

'Ya know, I might be the one that's walkin' away,' his voice caught slightly. 'But you're the one that's leaving. Again.'

Asha heard a set of footsteps moving off. She risked a quick peek around the tree.

In a bit of space between the trees, the one handed man paced a couple of steps in one direction, then half turned, his face anguished. He ran his one hand over his close cropped grey hair and then clenched it into a fist. 'Fuck.' he groaned quietly, and then he set off after his brother.

Asha took a couple of steadying breaths, resting back against the tree. The brothers were volatile. But they were obviously with others—at least two more, the black woman and the Chinese—Korean—kid. Maybe even the man the older man would have killed.

A group.

Asha pressed a hand to the fluttering in her stomach. She wasn't sure if it was nervousness or hope. She chewed the inside of cheek. At least it sounded like little brother would be more welcome than big brother, that had to be good right? Besides, if this group was close by, maybe Nash was already there. Her heart leapt in her chest, and before she consciously thought about what she was doing, she scooted around the tree to follow the two men.

Both brothers appeared to be deep in thought when Asha caught up to them. The younger man ran point, his crossbow held about waist high in his right hand, ready to be raised in an instant, but it didn't seem to Asha that he was making much effort to scan the woods around him. He certainly never looked back in the direction they'd come. His brother trudged after him, his shoulders slumped. Neither was making any particular effort to move quietly.

Asha trailed them at a distance, moving from tree to tree, hoping they would strike up another conversation.

They didn't. They seemed content to trudge on in silence.

A branch snapped under her foot, and she froze, hidden behind a tree. She cursed silently, hoping they hadn't noticed. She strained her ears, desperately wanting to hear the uninterrupted sound of their footsteps, but her heart started pounding when all she heard was the distinct sound of a gun being cocked.

Fuck.

Before she had a chance to move or call out, the younger brother moved silently into her line of view. His crossbow was raised and pointed at her face. Her eyes followed the bolt along the shaft to the cold blue eyed stare above it. Asha swallowed, and carefully moved her left hand away from her body, palm facing upwards. In her other hand, she kept her grip on the speargun loose and pointing downwards.

'Don't shoot. I'm not a deadhead,' she said, proud her voice didn't tremble.

Neither the crossbow nor the expression on the man's face budged a hairsbreadth.

'Well well, little brother,' the one handed man cackled behind her. 'What have we got here?'

Since fast movements are never wise when faced with a loaded weapon, Asha turned her head slowly to look over her shoulder.

The older brother had circled around and was leering at her. His gun was in his hand, not pointed at her, but Asha remembered the speed with which he'd raised it on the bridge.

Stuck between them, she could only watch one of them at a time.

'Watch ya doin' out here all alone in the woods little girl,' he drawled. 'You make a habit of seeking out strange men in the woods?'

Asha bristled at the innuendo. 'No.'

'Trying to sneak up on us and rob us?'

She gave him a flat look. 'How fucking stupid do you think i am.'

'Dunno. Only just met ya.' He took a step towards her. 'But i gotta tell ya sugar tits, that would'a been a stupid move on your part. Might'a turned out well for us though,' he added with a suggestive leer.

Asha glanced back at the younger brother and saw that his eyes had hardened further, but were directed over her shoulder at his brother this time.

'I am not trying to rob you.' Asha said, turning back to the older man. She looked him pointedly up and down, noting the lack of gear he was carrying. 'Rob you of what?'

The corner of the older man's mouth quirked before quickly settling back into that suggestive leer.

'What then?' The younger man snapped behind her.

Asha drew a deep breath, oddly enough relaxing slightly. Not killed or raped on sight. Her instincts had been right— even if she wasn't out of the woods yet, so to speak.

'I'm looking for my brother. Thought you might'a seen him.'

'Nope.'

Asha's head whipped around. 'How do you know, I ain't told you anything about him yet.'

'We've seen no-one, we know no-one,' the bowman said. 'We ain't a fuckin' search and rescue mission.'

'And i'm no damn damsel in distress. I've done just fine out here for weeks on my own— I just can't find my brother.'

'Not my problem.'

The older man laughed. 'Just fine? You're looking pretty scrawny for doin' just fine, girly.' He sauntered over to her and leaned in close. 'But you need some help? Maybe we can come to some sort of arrangement, and old Merle will help you find your brother.'

Asha heard the younger brother mutter something disgustedly under his breath.

She kept her eyes locked on the older brother— Merle— she assumed. His leer seemed to be a permanent part of his face. His eyes were the same sharp blue as his brother's, just a little thinner with age, and they were fixed on her in a calculating way. The quicker she shut down that train of thought the better.

She lifted her hand rested it on Merle's chest, but instead of pushing him away, she leant in close and whispered in his ear.

'We make that arrangement old man, and you won't long survive finding my brother—and that's if I let you make it that long.'

Then she brought her knee up as hard as she could between his legs.

Asha was disappointed that he didn't fall to the ground in pain. But his knees did buckle slightly and the grunt he let out was kind of satisfying. She took a quick two steps back before he recovered, ignoring the other brother's crossbow as she skirted past him to make sure he was between her and Merle. She tried to gauge his reaction as she passed him. His lips were pressed together in a thin line, but he'd lowered the crossbow a little.

'Not too scrawny for that, hey old man.' She couldn't help but grin, ignoring the voice in the back of her mind chanting stupid, stupid, stupid.

'You fucking bitch' Merle roared, lunging towards her. Asha had her speargun in both hands as she danced back, but the bowman made no attempt to get out of the way.

'What?' He said as Merle pulled up short of bodily slamming him out the way. 'She ain't trying to hurt us, and you asked for it.' He rubbed a hand through his shaggy hair. 'We fuckin' done here now? Lets go.'

He turned crossbow back on Asha, his eyes and voice cold. 'We ain't seen your brother. We can't help you. Ya follow us and I will shoot you.'

They turned and began moving away.

'What about your group.' Asha called.

The words had barely left her mouth and the younger brother was in her face, without even seeming to cross the intervening distance. His teeth were bared, and his fingers dug painfully into her bicep where he gripped her.

'What do you know about a group,' he hissed. Asha's chest clenched and she took an involuntary step back. He followed her, staying right in her space.

She hesitated. She didn't think either brother was going to take it well that she'd overheard what was obviously a private conversation.

'I—I overheard you earlier,' she admitted.

The older brother was immediately rigid, his face closed over and jaw clenched. She didn't think it was possible for the man in front of her to be any tenser, but somehow he was, the tendons suddenly leaping in his neck.

'You're going back to them. There's at least a black woman and an asian kid.' She looked desperately between them. 'That's all I know.'

'What else did you hear,' roared the older man.

Asha flinched before she could help herself. 'Nothing! Nothing I swear. You were fighting, but I wasn't close enough to make out what you were saying until right at the end.'

There was a long moment whilst the younger man searched her face with his piercing blue eyes. Asha returned the look, ignoring the trembling in her limbs and faking as much calm as she could.

Then he released her arm, shoving her away slightly.

Merle suddenly laughed. 'You been following us since then? Hell little brother, you must be gettin' soft if you let goldilocks here sneak up on you like that.'

His brother's mouth twisted in disgust and he spat.

Asha focused on the younger brother.

'My brother, he could be there— with your group. I have to come with you.'

'No.'

Asha felt the helplessness welling up inside her. 'I have to. You're the only lead I've got.' Her voice dropped. She was suddenly so, so tired of it all. 'I'm coming with you. I will follow you anyway, so you _are_ going to have to shoot me if you want to leave me behind.'

'What make you think I won't.'

There was a beat.

'I saw what you did back on the bridge.' She said quietly. She turned to fix Merle with a stare for a moment. 'Both of you.'

Merle returned her look with a half sneer.

'If I thought either of you would shoot me just because i'm an inconvenience, I wouldn't have followed you into the woods.'

The bowman passed a weary hand over his eyes and Asha saw his shoulders slump slightly. Merle must have seen it too.

'She's dead weight man,' he said. 'Ya can't be serious?'

'Ya wanna shoot her?'

'If i have to.'

Asha glared at Merle, and he returned the look with interest.

'We don't have time for this shit,' his brother said tiredly. 'Let her come—if she can keep up. I ain't slowin' the pace for you.' He snapped the last at Asha irritably. 'Rick can sort it out when we get back.'

He scrubbed the shaggy hair out of his eyes and looked at her, his expression unreadable. 'I don't know if ya brother's there or not. He wasn't a few days ago. But either way ya might end up regretting this decision. Our group's camp ain't the safest place at the moment.'

Asha's eyes narrowed, but before she could ask, he turned and set off quickly through the woods.

Asha glanced at Merle. His expression before he started after his brother was suddenly— and frighteningly— very serious.

'Well I don't have any other options,' she grumbled under her breath.

But the bowman's words hung in the air as she followed the brothers deeper into the woods.


	3. Chapter 3

Asha tried to bring up the issue of the group's safety several times as they walked. But the younger brother - Daryl - palmed her off each time, saying she'd find out soon enough if Rick let her stay. Merle was tight lipped and refused to be drawn on the subject. Daryl got tenser and tenser every time she brought it up, and eventually he snapped that he would knock her out and leave her under a tree if she didn't shut the hell up. She let it lie after that.

They went further from the river than Asha wanted. She had hoped the group was camped somewhere along it, but Daryl increasing led them on an angle away from it. She felt the pull of it in her stomach as they moved further away, and she found her breath coming in short gasps as first the sight of the glinting water, and then its rushing gurgle, faded away through the trees.

She palmed the rough bark of a tree as they walked, trying to get her breathing under control. Without paying much attention to what she was doing, she pulled the knife from her thigh sheath and started carving a coded sign in the tree for her brother. Her knife had no sooner touched the bark then Merle grabbed her wrist in his hand.

'What d'ya think you're doin'?' he asked, eyes boring into her.

Asha jerked her head back and looked at him.

'Leaving a sign for my brother. So he can find me - otherwise he won't know to look for me away from the river.'

Merle squeezed his hand slightly, forcing the bones in her wrist together, and Asha fought the urge to wince.

'We don't know you, and I sure as hell don't trust ya. Maybe ya ain't even got a brother. Maybe ya got ya own group and ya laying a trail to lead them to us.'

Asha's eyes widened. She hadn't thought how laying a trail might look to her new travelling companions. She shook her head quickly.'It's just my brother, its a code we worked out.'

She looked around her anxiously. The trees stretched out in every direction with depressing sameness. Daryl had stopped up ahead and was watching them carefully.

'If I don't leave him a sign, how is he going to find me in this?'

'Let's move' Daryl snapped. 'We got somewhere to be.'

Merle's eyes were cold. 'Ya ain't leavin' nothin' behind for anyone to follow us.'

Asha's shoulders slumped, but she nodded. 'Fair enough.' She'd have to backtrack and leave the trail once she found their camp. She hoped it wasn't too far.

Merle shoved her forwards to walk between him and Daryl. 'So I can keep an eye on ya.'

As they walked, Asha pulled the spear shaft out of her gun and looked deprecatingly at the mangled flopper, still covered in chunks of walker face. It would have to be replaced. She was pretty sure she still had some spare floppers floating around her pack.

She sighed and groped around the side of her pack where her spare spears were strapped, locating one of the ones she'd doctored for walker use. She noticed Daryl tossing curious glances at her over his shoulder. She tucked the gun awkwardly under her arm and gestured with the spear with the mangled flopper.

'Fish. Flopper keeps them coming off.' She shrugged. 'Got it stuck in a deadhead's skull earlier. Shit of a thing to get out.'

She flicked as much of the gunk of it as possible and tucked it back with the other spears on the side of her pack. Then she gestured with the doctored spear. The flopper had been reversed and moved about three quarters of the way down the shaft. 'Deadheads.' She pushed it into the gun and then gave it a tug to show how the reversed flopper kept it securely in the gun and left the spearhead unobstructed. 'Can't shoot it like this, but it doesn't get stuck in the deadheads.'

'Clever,' Daryl admitted. 'Ya brother rig that up?'

Asha couldn't help the grin that spread across her face. 'Nah, this is all me.'

'You girls finished chin waggin',' Merle said. 'I hear something.'

The three of them froze, looking around as they strained to hear. The rumble of an engine could be heard in the distance. The two men set off after it immediately, and Asha followed half a step behind.

'We're close right?' Merle asked as they ran.

'Close enough,' Daryl said.

The engine sound outdistanced them quickly. They continued on at a jog for a few minutes, then the staccato ricochet of semi automatic gun fire tore through the air. Daryl took off at a sprint.

'Fuckin' idiot,' Merle cursed before taking off after him.

Asha slowed for a second. Not the safest camp. Right. Well that was obvious, and running into a shit storm of bullets was not her idea of a good plan. She seriously considered ditching the two loonies she'd hooked up with, neither would notice if she slipped away now.

But then she remembered why she'd approached them in the first place— Nash could be there... the receiving end of that gunfire. Her heart clenched. She scrubbed a hand across her face, swore quietly to herself, and then picked up her pace to try to catch the brothers.

She'd rolled the dice when she'd approached the brothers in the woods. Now she just had to see how they fell. But she sure as hell reserved the right to leg it later on if things weren't to her liking.

As the trees thinned in front of her, she began to make out wire and concrete structures, flashing through the gaps in the trees as she ran. Off to the right, a block of grey concrete resolved itself into a blocky tower. A double row of high chain link fences topped with razor wire stretched away from the tower at right angles. Behind it, a squat compound of brick and concrete buildings was visible at the top of the fenced in yard.

A prison. Fences, walls, she couldn't help but grin at the genius of holing up in such a place. She felt a surge in her stomach at the thought that Nash might be just beyond those walls.

Breathing heavily, she dropped to a knee beside Daryl and Merle, who had paused just inside the treeline and were intently scoping the prison from behind the scant cover of some scrubby bushes.

They had approached the prison from its eastern side. The main entrance was around to the right, and a tan coloured four wheel drive had pulled up just off the road. A handful of men hung out the windows and off the back, firing into the prison with semi automatic weaponry. Asha couldn't see the people in the prison, but there were spurts of gunfire being returned from the catwalk across the prison courtyard and from behind an overturned bus in the yard.

As Asha scanned the area she saw tufts of dirt spray into the air as bullets pounded into the ground near a little bridge crossing the canal in front of the prison. From the direction of the bullets, they were being fired from someone in the treeline near the men in the car. A man suddenly half sat from where he lay he shadows next to the bridge and fired into the treeline with a rifle, before quickly dropping back flat into the shadows.

Asha nudged Daryl with an elbow and pointed at the man.

He nodded, eyes tight. 'Rick'.

He started to circle around towards the bridge and the front of the prison through the trees.

Merle and Asha followed him. The woods, which had previously been fairly quiet, were suddenly full of walkers stirred up by the engine noise and gunfire. They'd outpaced most of them when they were running towards the prison, but the dead were quickly closing the gap. Asha's stomach dropped and she quickly stomped on the surge of panic she felt as she saw the woods swelling with walkers.

She touched her fingers to her knife to check it was still secured to her thigh, and then grimaced as Merle flicked out the chamber on his gun to reload it.

'Don't' she hissed, eyes still scanning the walkers that seemed to be oozing from behind every tree and fallen log.

'You'll pull them all right to us.' She yanked one of her spare spears from her side of her pack and thrust it towards him—waiting till he jammed his gun back in his waistband so he could take it in his hand.

There was a mindless groan behind her. She whipped around flinching back from the outstretched hand clawing for her face. A drooling walker loomed up fast behind it. She ducked reflexively to one side, slipped, spear flying from her hand and falling awkwardly on her pack. Heart in her mouth, she kicked out desperately, connecting with the back of the walker's legs. Knees buckled, it sprawled face first next to her. She rolled over on to it, plowing its face into the dirt, grasping desperately for her blade and then pounding it through its skull.

A strong hand grabbed her under the arm, and she choked on a scream as she realised Merle was attached to it.

'Move girly,' he shoved her roughly in the direction of Daryl.

Daryl cleared the walkers immediately in front of them, trusting Merle and Asha to clean up any that got too close along their flank. They ran, sweat dripping, feet slipping, heart pounding. Steel slamming through softened skulls and rotten bodies thudding to the ground. From the front of the prison, they heard a huge engine revving followed by the tortured screech of tearing metal and an almighty crash. Asha caught a glimpse through the trees of a red and white van in the prison yard, its tailgate slowly descending, before her attention was pulled back to another walker.

They were closing in on the bridge and up ahead of them, still a distance away, Asha could just make out through the trees a man in a baseball cap firing towards the bridge. Daryl had outpaced them and was moving towards the man, skirting from the tree to tree to stay out of his line of sight. Merle growled in irritation and picked up his pace to catch him, but at that moment there was an intense burst of gunfire from the prison yard, and the man in the cap suddenly abandoned his one man siege of the bridge and fled back towards the road. Daryl raised his crossbow at the man weaving through the trees, but lowered it after a moment and started back to Merle and Asha, frustration written all over his face.

Asha skirted closer to the treeline, happy for a brief breather whilst she checked on the prison. A tall thin man with an eye patch over his right eye, hung out of the passenger side door of the four wheel drive. His teeth were bared and his eyes burned as he looked across the prison. Asha could almost taste his hatred. She felt her blood run cold.

The one eyed man fired off several more rounds in the air, snarling as he did so. Asha was baffled for a moment until she recalled the woods surging with deadheads behind her. Still, the gratuitous display was a waste of bullets, they'd already made so much noise already that bit more wouldn't make much difference. The one eyed man swung back into the vehicle and it thundered back down the road, narrowly missing a silvery dual cab that swerved around it and floored it over the flattened front gates straight into the prison yard.

The yard was _full_ of walkers, more than could have possibly made it through the gates in the short time they had been down. The red and white van stood abandoned in the middle of the yard, a jerry rigged ramp lowered at the back. As Asha watched, a walker staggered out of the van and down the ramp. Her jaw dropped. They—whoever they were—had driven that van into the yard full of walkers.

They were using walkers a weapons. Her stomach churned.

The sound of gun shots drew Asha's attention to the corner of the yard closest to her. A white haired man, leaning on a set of crutches near the fence, was firing steady shots from a handgun at the walkers advancing on him. He seemed to be holding his own so far, but that would only last as long as his bullets did. Then Asha noticed a blur of fast movement among the slow moving walkers. A dreadlocked black woman with a samurai sword spun through the yard in the direction of the old man, leaving a trail of heads and fallen walkers in her wake. The dual cab had barely paused after crossing over the fallen gate, and its engine revved as charged across the yard in the man's direction.

A single shot rang out, much closer to Asha. She scanned the area quickly thinking Merle must have resorted to his gun.

Just outside the fenceline a walker collapsed in front of Rick, half its skull blasted clean away by the huge pistol in his hand. Rick backhanded another deadhead with the butt of his gun, but he was quickly swarmed by two more and backed up against the fence, and handful of other dead were rapidly closing in on him. He pinned one of the deadheads to the fence beside him with his left hand and, teeth bared, tried to hold the other off in front of him with his right forearm braced against its throat.

A bolt buzzed past Asha's ear and embedded in the skull of the walker straining against Rick's forearm. Rick's eyes flashed with gratitude and relief as Daryl strode past her, fitting another bolt as he went.

Merle charged at a half crouch past his brother and put his borrowed spear through the temple of the walker Rick still had pinned to fence. He forced a grin at Rick, but there was tension around his eyes and the look Rick directed to him in return was noticeably cool.

A guttural snarl behind her reminded Asha that she wasn't alone. She turned, and jammed her spear into the head of the walker looming behind her, its face going slack as she yanked it back out.

She darted across the bridge.

The three men were working through the pocket of walkers that had collected near the fence, Rick using his pistol as a club. Asha skirted quickly to Daryl's back as he paused to reload his crossbow, taking out a walker that had gotten a little too close for comfort. He glanced at her over his shoulder and grunted in what could have been thanks.

She nodded slightly and turned her attention back to the remaining walkers, darting quickly around the side of the closest, crunching her boot against the side of its knee and jabbing her spear through its face as it lay on the ground snarling at her.

The immediate danger cleared, she glanced around at her companions, breathing hard.

Rick grunted, pushing himself to his feet above the walker whose brains he'd just smeared into a pulp into the ground. He nodded appreciatively at Daryl, but his eyes hardened as he looked at Merle— still grinning awkwardly— and, disconcertingly, at her. He didn't say anything for the moment though, and the four of them turned their attention to the prison.

The dual cab had made it through the inner gate and the white haired man was violently embraced by a young blonde woman as he got out awkwardly out of the car with his crutches. The yard still seethed with walkers but, for the moment, they were focused on the four of them, and trapped inside the fence looking out.

Asha turned away, and flinched slightly as she took in the sea of disjointed movement flooding out the woods behind them. That gunfire must have drawn every walker for miles.

'Hey,' she said, voice low and tight with urgency. Merle glanced at her, but neither Daryl or Rick seemed to have heard.

'Hey.' Louder. Louder than she wanted.

Rick turned on her, his face a cold mask of fury and eyes like flint. Her stomach clenched involuntarily.

'Can we do this inside? We're gonna have a lot of company in minute.' She looked meaningfully around at the woods.

Daryl's head snapped around eyes alert, looking at the horde of walkers creeping inexorably towards the fences.

'Shit, we're gonna be cut off from the gate. We'll have to run for it.' He glanced quickly to make sure everyone was ready before setting off, slinging his crossbow across his back and pulling his knife since he wouldn't have time to retrieve any bolts. Merle followed immediately.

Asha could still feel Rick's eyes on her, and he locked his cold eyed stare on her for an instant before gesturing with his gun for her to go before him. Asha tried not to read too much into the fact that he didn't trust her at his back, but she felt his eyes boring into her and the skin between her shoulder blades tingled as she ran.


	4. Chapter 4

**[A/N: Just a short one, but the next one will be up soon.]**

* * *

Asha's lungs were on fire as she staggered behind Daryl and Merle across the grate into the prison courtyard. As the inner gate was dragged closed behind them, she fell to her knees, her breath coming in ragged painful gasps and her vision blurred. She was vaguely aware of Rick and Daryl being greeted with warm embraces and Merle standing somewhat to the side, covering his awkwardness with a sneer plastered across his face. She'd barely eaten in the last two days and today had burnt up energy stores she no longer had. The adrenalin leached out of her and was replaced by a flood of exhaustion. She shrugged out of her pack and tipped forward to rest her head against her knees, trying to draw longer breaths and clear her vision.

'Who the hell is this?'

A pair of boots appeared in Asha's field of view and she looked up to see an angry Asian man in riot gear. His face was a mass of purple and red bruises, his right eye nearly swollen shut.

The Korean kid. Shit, Merle _had_ done a number on him. Naked rage shone from his face.

Asha pulled in another shuddering breath and forced herself to her feet, bracing herself on the dual cab. She wasn't sure it was a good idea to be on her knees in front of these people. But she left her speargun on the ground and kept her hand away from her knife. No need to make them see her as a threat either.

'Found her on the road.' Daryl said. Merle grunted.

'And you just brought her back,' said a pretty young woman with shoulder length brown hair. Asha would have guessed she was about her own age, maybe a little younger, but she handled the rifle in her hands with familiarity that spoke of regular use. 'Are you out of your mind? She could be one of his, sent in to spy on us.'

Daryl shook his head. 'Nah, Merle'd know if she came from Woodbury. 'Sides, found out in the other direction, near the Yellow Jacket.'

The pretty woman shook her head, not convinced.

Merle grunted. 'She ain't from Woodbury. Just look at her. She'd 'ave more meat on her if she was from Woodbury— hell, if she was from any other group with a proper camp.'

Asha was sure Merle wasn't trying to defend her. Probably just trying to deflect some of the heat for bringing her back.

'Says she's been on her own,' Merle continued. 'She looks it.'

Behind him the dreadlocked woman was nodding as she ran her eyes over Asha.

'You can't be bringing strangers back here,' Rick said. 'Maybe she's from Woodbury, maybe she ain't. But we don't know anything about this woman. How she's lasted this long. what she's done to survive.' He turned on Daryl and Merle. 'How could you be so stupid? You put everyone here at risk.'

Their voices had retreated to background noise. Asha's vision had cleared and she anxiously scanned the faces of those gathered in the compound. She was stunned to see a boy of about 12 or 13 with a baby in his arms, but her heart dropped when Nash wasn't among them.

'Is this all of you,' she cut in, hating the tremor in her voice.

'What do you mean,' Rick snapped. 'Why do you care how many of are here?' He took a threatening step towards her.

'It ain't like that' Daryl said. 'She's looking for her brother. For what, a few weeks now?' He looked to Asha and she nodded. 'Been on her own since then. She followed us. Wouldn't be put off. Woulda had to shoot her or knock her out and leave her for the walkers to get her to stay behind.'

The carefully blank look on Rick's face suggested that maybe they should have.

'Wasn't happenin',' Daryl said flatly.

Rick looked at Merle. 'Surprised you went along with it?'

Merle shrugged. 'This ain't my show. Daryl said it'd be your call when we got here. Don't make no difference to me. Y'all want her out, I'll take her back into the woods and dump her somewhere, or knock her out and leave her for the biters.'

Asha couldn't care less at this stage. If her brother wasn't here, she didn't want any part of these people. There was obviously something serious going on with this Woodbury place and she didn't intend getting caught up in a fight that wasn't hers. Better being on her own then that.

'My brother, Nash,' she cut in again. 'Is he here?.

Rick looked at her, weighing her up. 'No' he answered after a long pause. 'The only people here are from our group, been together a long time now.'

Asha felt it like a blow to the body, even though— rationally— she'd known it was a long shot. Her legs trembled and she tightened her grip on the dual cab. She would have to keep moving. She remembered the name that had been mentioned earlier. She turned to Merle.

'You were at this Woodbury place? How long ago? Was my brother there then?'

Merle shrugged. 'Don't think so, but there's eighty odd people there. It's not like I was keepin' tally.'

'You'd have noticed him,' Asha insisted. 'He's a big guy, tall— head and shoulders above me— dirty blonde hair. Longish, wearing it in a ponytail last I saw. Woulda had a speargun too, and a hunting rifle? He's got a,' she traced her fingers around her left forearm marking a band about an inch and a half wide, 'band of writing tattooed around his arm?'

Merle just shrugged again.

She knelt back down and struggled to pick up her pack.

'What are you doing?' The old man asked coming forwards on his crutches. Asha was surprised to see his left foot was missing. 'You're not in any condition to be going anywhere.' His eyes and tone were kindly.

She ignored both.

'Look, you don't want me here, and I don't think I want part of whatever turf war you've got going on with Woodbury. I came looking for my brother. He's not here. No reason for me to stay.' She straightened up. 'Everyone gets what they want this way right?''

'You're going to try Woodbury? Rick asked.

From the corner of her eye Asha could see the black woman and Merle both shaking their heads, mirroring each other without realising it. There were incredulous looks on the faces of some of the others present. Daryl just looked at her grimly.

'I don't want to,' Asha said emphatically. 'After that'— she gestured to the yard full of walkers behind her—'I don't want anything to do with the place.' She sighed. 'But if it's near here, Nash might have ended up there.' She pick up her spear gun, trying to keep her knees from shaking under the weight of her pack, and turned to Merle. 'Which way.'

He didn't answer, just half arched an eyebrow and smirked.

'No,' Rick said quietly behind her. 'That's not happening.'

She spun around incredulously. 'You don't want me here. What the fuck do you care where i go?'

'You've seen us, seen our set up, seen how many— few really— we are. Can't risk you telling that to the Governor.'

'Governor?'

'The man running Woodbury,' the old man answered for Rick.

Asha looked at Rick, astonishment fading into a sinking feeling as she realised where this was going. 'I've got no interest in helping him. All I want to do is get my brother— if he's there— and get out. Nash won't stay there when he hears this Governor's using walkers as weapons.'

'It's not that easy,' Rick said, voice quiet and cold. 'You could have been seen here, with Daryl and Merle, during the raid. If that's the case, and you go near Woodbury, it's not gonna matter what information you would or wouldn't volunteer. He won't be asking nicely.'

The pretty woman with the rifle flinched violently at Rick's words and rage burned across the Korean man's face.

'Well, that's just a risk i'll have to take,' Asha bit back.

She turned towards the gate, only to notice that Merle had moved and was standing near the tail of the dual cab, neatly blocking her exit. His arms were crossed and his usual half smirk half leer was on his face. His gun was back in his hand and _her_ spear leant casually against his leg.

Her eyes hardened as she looked at him, and then around at the others in the group. Rick and Daryl looked grim, the old man simply looked sad. They weren't going to let her leave, and she was sure that if she even looked like moving in the wrong direction, Merle would have no hesitation using his gun, and Rick would let him. Her lips curled into a snarl and she felt her stomach ball with frustration.

'Oh you fucking cunts,' she spat, tossing her spear gun back to the ground and clenching her hands into fists.

'It's gotta be this way for now,' Daryl said quietly.

'You stay with us till this thing is done,' Rick said with a note of finality.

* * *

**[Hope you're enjoying this people - let me know what you think!]**


	5. Chapter 5

**[A/N: Thanks for the lovely reviews people, you seriously make my day! For those of you waiting for Asha/Daryl action, its coming - but there's a bit more tension to be had first...]**

* * *

The group was set up in cell block C, and they had locked Asha in the anteroom to the main section of the cell block with Merle. The Korean man—Glenn—had asked whether that was a good idea. But Daryl had shot back that his brother wasn't a rapist. He clearly wasn't happy his brother was locked up at all, but one look at Rick and Glenn's face had convinced him that he wasn't going to win that argument. Rick had simply said it was easier to manage one section locked up then two.

Merle was currently asleep on another thin mattress on the other side of the room, sprawled on his back, noisily sucking in the walls through his nose. Asha was tempted to go across the room and kick him to make him shut up.

Asha hadn't cared that they'd locked her in with Merle. By the time she'd been marched stiff backed into the anteroom, stripped of her belongings and given a thin mattresses and blanket dragged out of one of the cells, there was no space in her for anything other than seething fury at these people for keeping her from her brother. She'd dragged the mattress to far side of the room and curled up on it facing the wall. Then she had studiously ignored everything behind her—the food she'd been given, the questions from members of the group through the bars.

She'd kept her back to it all, silent tears of fury, frustration and desperation streaming down her face in the dark.

She had listened though.

The group had grilled Merle on everything he knew about the Governor. It sounded like Merle had been some sort of henchmen for the guy. She heard all about the rescue mission Rick had led to get Glenn and Maggie back after Merle had taken them, and then the second rescue effort to recover Daryl when he'd been left behind. Her skin had crawled when she realised Daryl and Merle were describing being made to fight each other in a circle of deadheads. She heard all about Michonne's sudden arrival and Andrea. There had been several vicious comments about about what Merle had done to Glenn and Michonne, only shut down from becoming full out attacks by Daryl's growling.

It had mostly been sound that washed over her, bits of information that she stored away for future use. But it had left Merle agitated.

Asha kept her back turned to Merle, laying still on her mattress. Behind her the scrape of Merle's boots on the concrete beat out a steady rhythm as he paced about the room. He muttered to himself.

'Come on girly,' he said suddenly. 'I know ya ain't been sleeping through all that. Least ya can do is keep a man warm at night after I helped ya out. Got roof over ya head. Ain't my fault ya brother ain't here and Rick ain't exactly friendly.'

Asha grit her teeth and continued to feign sleep, hoping he'd work of his frustration and give up.

Scrape, scrape, scrape. His booted footsteps circled closer to her.

'Don't tell me you're one of those upright bitches who guard it like its the… It's a fucking self replenishing resource.' There was a hard edge to his voice under the suggestive leer.

Asha glared at the wall and wished he would shut the hell up.

His footsteps circled the room and came back to her. She could feel him looming close behind her. Then he crouched and leant forward, bracing himself against the wall and looking down at her. His face was all hard planes and shadows in the dim light, yet somehow there was enough light for his eyes to glint dangerously. The stale smell of his sweat filled her nose and she could feel his breath on her cheek when he spoke.

'Ain't polite to ignore me like that girly,' he growled. 'Ya sure as shit ain't sleepin'. So how 'bout it?'

'Fuck off Merle.'

'Oh I get it,' he drawled. 'Ya some sort a rug muncher right? Bet ya just never had a real man. I can fix that for ya alright.'

Asha flipped onto her back so she could meet him eye for eye. 'This ain't happening voluntarily,' she ground out between clenched teeth. 'So you can either do whatever it is you're going to do about it or shut the hell up and let me sleep.'

Merle's eyes widened slightly in the dark, and he hesitated.

Asha snorted scornfully. 'Yeah, that's what I thought.'

She rolled over and came up to her knees to face him, forcing him back out of her space. She was sure her face was dirty and tearstained, but she didn't care. She jabbed Merle sharply in the chest with a finger. 'You won't lay a finger on me. Because if you do, you just prove to these people that every bad thing they ever thought about you was right. You'd be outta here and on your own so fast your head would spin.'

Merle rocked back on his heels, eyes flashing and teeth bared.

'Daryl won't go with you,' Asha continued relentlessly. 'He made his call, you do what you keep threatening and he'll just cut you loose—' She broke off suddenly, brow furrowing as she thought furiously. It wouldn't be about her if it happened she realised, Merle would just be proving that he couldn't be part of the group.

Had Rick locked her in with Merle as a test? Did he want this to happen? Better to give Daryl a reason as soon as possible to cast his brother aside?

Merle hadn't moved, but the fury had faded from his face and he was watching her think with narrowed eyes. Then he chuckled, low and bitterly. 'He put you in here as bait.'

Asha started at hearing her suspicions spoken out loud. Her eyes flashed to Merle and she saw the gleam of recognition as he realised she'd been thinking the same thing.

'I wouldn't have thought it of the sheriff. Hell...he has changed. Ya got some brains on ya girly, picking up on that.' Merle laughter grew until its bitter sound reverberated in the little anteroom.

She grimaced. 'Go away Merle. I want to sleep.' She rolled away from him back to the wall.

He patted her familiarly on the shoulder and she heard him push himself to his feet and cross the room.

She didn't cry again after that, but she lay there for a long time wondering about the people in the prison group and this Woodbury place. Eventually the wash of exhaustion swept her away to sleep, where her dreams were full of the Yellow Jacket, and she could hear Nash's voice in the distance.

* * *

Asha rolled on to her back on the thin prison mattress and looked up at the grey ceiling and tiny barred window set high in the wall. Judging from the light slanting through the bars, it was early morning. No-one else seemed to be awake, at least she couldn't hear anyone else moving around the prison. She was amazed she'd managed to sleep, though the more she thought about it she probably shouldn't be. Yesterday had been physically and mentally exhausting—not that all her days weren't physically and mentally exhausting these days—but yesterday had been off the charts in that respect.

The fury—at Merle, Rick, everyone—had washed out of her overnight and she simply felt drained as she stared at the dust motes floating in the sunlight streaming through the bars. Her logical side rationalised what the group had done. They didn't know her, and had no reason to trust her. She couldn't blame them for that. She knew what came of trusting when you shouldn't.

Yeah, she thought dryly, you end up locked in prison with the lord if the rednecks.

And worse, whispered a voice at the back of her mind.

She shied away from that thought.

Now that the immediate blow of loss at not finding her brother at the prison had faded somewhat, she could see why going near Woodbury was a bad idea. Her mind returned to the red and white van and its cargo of walkers, the look on the Governor's face as he'd fired into the prison and the way Maggie had flinched last night. She shivered.

Not somewhere she wanted to go.

She could even, on some level, accept what the group had done to make sure it wasn't an option for her. But none of that help dull the ache that filled her everyday when she woke to the realisation her brother was gone, or blunt the desperate need clawing at her to find him. She was torn between not wanting Nash to be anywhere near the Governor, and desperately hoping that he was there, close by, and that they'd be together soon.

Not that she could do anything about until she got out of this prison.

The sound of keys rattled at the gate, and Daryl walked in with two bowls of a soupy type mush. He looked at his brother snoring, but bypassed him and came straight for Asha when he saw she was awake. He squatted down on his heels near her bed as she pushed herself into a sitting position. His blue eyes were clear and there was no hostility in him as he looked at her.

'Eat.' he said holding the bowl out.

She took it silently, then looked back at him when, instead of moving off, he just continued to look at her expectantly.

'Ya didn't eat yesterday,' he said.

'So you're gonna sit there and watch me eat this' she asked wryly, stirring the gloop with the spoon. Looked like some sort of porridge. Her stomach whined desperately at the thought of food.

'Mhmm,' he nodded.

For a spiteful instant she was tempted to throw it against the wall. But the spark of petulance only lasted a second before draining away. She really did need to  
eat. She had intended to eat the entire bowl in silence, but Daryl spoke before she was halfway done.

'Ya get why we gotta keep ya here right? Why its too risky for ya to go near Woodbury right now?'

'Risky for me or risky for you,' she snapped. Then regretted it immediately as Daryl's face closed over. Alienating him wasn't going to help.

He pushed himself to his feet. 'Whatever. You ain't my fucking problem. I didn't ask ya to follow us in to the woods and make a pest of yourself.'

That stung.

'I wouldn't be such a fuckin' pest if you just let me go.'

'Ain't happening.'

'Fine,' she bit back. 'But don't expect me to be happy about being kept from my brother.'

'Ya don't even know if he's there. Merle reckons he ain't.'

'Well he sure as shit ain't here. I'll take a 'may be' over a definite 'no' any day of the week.' She glared at him. 'And don't tell me you wouldn't be doing the exact same thing if you'd had a lead on where Merle was when he was missing.'

'That ain't the point'

'It's exactly the point.'

She was on her feet, advancing on Daryl, eyes flashing.

'Ya oughta be fucking grateful we bought ya in. Ya got a roof over ya head, walls—'

'Yeah its called a fuckin' _prison_—'

'Bowl of food. Should a left ya out there to starve since that's obviously what ya were doing.'

'I did alright.'

'Yeah,' his voice dripped with sarcasm. 'Ya been managing just _fine._'

Asha waved her hands at him. 'Well so _sorry_ I'm not keeping my appearance up to your high standards.'

He gave a short harsh bark of laughter. 'Ya seen yourself lately? I could break you in two without tryin'.'

Asha' mouth worked, but she had nothing to say. She was well aware that she'd lost some weight, particularly over the last few weeks, but this was getting ridiculous. 'It's not like anyone's living a life of plenty these days,' she eventually said bitterly.

Daryl strode past her and picked up the bowl she'd left on the floor. 'Oughta be grateful for what ya got then right,' he snapped. He thrust the half eaten gloop back at her and she took it begrudgingly.

She took a deep breath and backed up against the wall to finish eating.

How the hell had he managed to stir up her anger again so quickly?

Daryl turned to the other side of the room, where his brother—somehow—was still snoring. He nudged him awake roughly with a toe in the ribs and thrust the second bowl towards him. Merle woke up swearing.

'Shut up,' Daryl said, his voice still carrying the tension from his argument with Asha. 'Gonna be a meeting soon, see what we do.'

Merle muttered something, taking the bowl, then added in a louder tone when he realised Asha was awake. 'Mornin' doll face! Why don't ya scoot on over here and give old Merle a back rub. I'm all stiff from sleepin' on this thin ass mattress.'

Asha was gobsmacked. She had that thought last night's conversation had sorted that. But obviously establishing that Merle wasn't going to put his hands on her without permission didn't mean he was going to rein in his tongue.

'You wanna revisit that conversation we had last night,' she said. 'Or the one you had with my knee in the woods?'

Daryl looked at her sharply at the mention of last night, but her focus was all on the other Dixon brother for the moment. Merle was grinning, and the hard edge was gone from his voice. Maybe he wasn't deliberately being an ass, maybe he just didn't have any other conversational modes?

'Ah girly, ya gone an' hurt my feelin's now.' Merle moaned in mock sincerity, tucking into his bowl of gloop.

'Fuck off Merle.'

'Well… lets at least wait until Darylina here's left the room, I don't usually like an audience for that sorta thing.' He leered at her around a mouthful of porridge. 'Unless you wanna tag team the Dixon brothers.' Daryl's back stiffened and his jaw rippled. Merle flicked his tongue in and out of his mouth, still full of porridge.

Asha almost gagged, then snorted derisively— but it quickly got away from her as the complete ludicrousness of Merle's suggestion, coupled with absolute and inescapable lunacy of her present situation caught up with her. Her snort turned into a hiccuping type of laugh that quickly rolled into gales of hysterical laughter. The rational part of her mind informed her she was simply overacting to stress, but she couldn't stop. As she collapsed on her back, she caught a glimpse of both brothers looking at her with almost identical injured expressions, which left her gasping for air, forearm across her eyes, as her whole body shook with laughter.

...


	6. Chapter 6

**[A/N: I'm not gonna lie, I struggled a bit with this one. Any feedback on what works/doesn't work would be appreciated.]**

* * *

'You're slipping Rick. We've all seen it, we understand why, but now is not the time. You once said this isn't a democracy! Now you have to own up to that. I put my family's lives in your hands. So get your head clear, and do something.'

Hershel's words, charged with tension, bounced off the concrete surfaces of the cell block as Rick pushed his way outside. Asha hadn't paid that much attention to the group's debate— once Merle's comment about the likelihood that the Governor had scouts on the roads out of the area had dashed her hopes that the group might flee, and in doing so free her to go back out looking for her brother. But Hershel's words pierced through her apathy with startling clarity.

Asha frowned. She'd been wary of Rick ever since he'd turned his hard eyes on her at the fence line. There was an edge of brittleness to him, ready to shatter if pushed too hard. Asha wasn't sure whether the fact that his own group could obviously see it too should make her feel better or worse. The man had a shadow hanging over him, and being locked in a cell, at his mercy, made the hair stand up on the back of Asha's neck.

She was suddenly seized with a desperate need to get out the locked antechamber— even if just temporarily. She crossed over to the bars.

'Hey.'

The members of the group were dispersing after their meeting and didn't pay her any heed.

'Hey,' she said, louder. This time she got almost everyone's attention.

'I want to use the ladies room, maybe get cleaned up a bit.'

There was a pregnant pause as carefully blank faces were turned in her direction. She plucked at the clothing she'd been wearing for days and that had soaked up the sweat and walker blood from yesterday. She really did stink.

'Come on people.' she pleaded. 'You've got all my weapons and there's a yard full of deadheads out there. I'm not runnin' anywhere. I just want to get clean and then i'll come back to this cell like a good little prisoner.' She plucked at her clothes again. 'This is not ok.'

Daryl and Hershel shared a glance.

'Ok,' Hershel said. 'But Maggie and Michonne, you go with her.'

Guards. Great. Michonne to stop her if she tried anything she guessed, and Maggie to make sure that that was what Michonne did. Maggie nodded. 'I'll grab your stuff' she said, as Hershel came forwards with the keys.

'Hell, if blondie gets out, I want outta here too,' Merle demanded.

'No way,' Glenn retorted.

Hershel shook his head as he unlocked the gate for Asha. 'That's gotta be Rick's call.'

Merle grumbled under his breath. Asha reached out and patted him insultingly on the cheek. 'Don't worry big guy,' she said. 'I'll be back before you have time to miss me.' She darted quickly out the door before he could react, ignoring the startled expressions on everyone's faces—and the stream of expletives that spewed from Merle's mouth.

'We had to go through it,' Maggie said, dumping her pack in front of her. 'Couldn't let you have it till we'd checked it out.' Maggie was watching her carefully, cautious still, but the hostility from yesterday seemed to have faded.

Asha nodded and grimaced, the remnants of her life were in that pack and she hated the thought of strangers rummaging through it.

'We found your gun,' Maggie added. 'We've added it to our stock pile for now, hope that's not going to be an issue.'

Asha shrugged. It was an old colt revolver she'd scavenged early on when the world went to shit. 'Haven't had ammo for it for months now,' she said.

The rest of the group drifted away to their own tasks and she was left with just Maggie and Michonne.

She opened her pack and was immediately assailed by the smell of fish.

'Oh yeah,' Maggie said wrinkling her nose. 'We found a dead fish in there too.'

'Yeah, shit, I caught that the other morning, before I ran into Merle and Daryl.' She scrubbed the heel of her hand across her forehead. 'Forgot all about it.'

'We had to chuck it,' Maggie said. 'Didn't smell too great.'

Asha nodded, pulling a face as she dug around in her pack, the fish smell dampening her hopes of finding something cleanish to put on. She eventually found a pair of faded black jeans, a singlet and some underwear at that bottom of her pack which weren't too bad. Nothing in her pack was really all that clean to start with, but it was all an improvement on what she was wearing— even with the faint fish scent.

'Here,' Carol had come back, and to Asha's surprise, tossed her a clean towel. Asha fingered the soft material gratefully, and then almost cried when she saw what else was in Carol's hands.

'Is that soap' she gasped.

Carol grinned at the look on her face and nodded. 'It gets better.' She pulled a stick of deodorant from her pocket and handed it over with the soap. 'Men's,' she said a little deprecatingly. 'But this was a men's prison i guess.'

'I don't even care' Asha said fervently, clutching them to her chest. 'Thank you.'

She began desperately hoping for some washing powder so she could clean her clothes.

Maggie and Michonne took her into the prison bathrooms, where there was already a large tub of water set up for washing. They stood outside the door to give her some privacy while she washed, no doubt figuring it was a prison bathroom so there was nowhere to go. Asha carefully put down the precious clean towel, deodorant and soap, a little unnerved at how grateful she felt for receiving those simple gifts— even just the loan of them. She didn't want to feel grateful, or indebted to these people. Pushing the thought away for the moment, she stripped off her tank, trying to ignore its crusty stiffness. Then she swore quietly as she caught sight of the filthy, gaunt eyed creature looking back at her from the dirty mirror.

Her face was drawn and grimy and there were dark shadows under her eyes. Her green eyes looked huge, and bloodshot, in their sunken sockets. Her bones stuck out everywhere. She ran a finger down her sternum, noting how clearly she could she the outline of her ribs across her chest. Her belt was two notches tighter than it used to be, and it was the only thing holding her jeans up over hip bones that jutted out sharply through papery skin that looked thin enough to tear.

She looked like shit.

She drew in a shuddering breath, stripped off the rest of her clothes and lathered up with the soap, ignoring the sting at the back of her eyes.

Scrawny enough to break in two.

She hadn't realised she'd gotten so bad. She was amazed they had sent both Maggie and Michonne to watch her. In her condition Carl could probably have overpowered her. Depressingly, as she scrubbed off the grime, she realised she was covered in cuts, scrapes and bites from living along the river. There was a particularly deep scratch across one hip bone that she remembered getting a week or so ago. It didn't look like it had healed at all. She tried to build up enough lather to wash her hair, the blonde was barely discernible through the dirt, but she only managed to dislodge the worst of the scum.

She had pulled on her cleanish clothing and was holding her arms out in front of her and looking at them dejectedly when Maggie stuck her head around the door. 'Asha,' she said, with the tone of someone repeating herself.

'Huh?'

There was a momentary hesitation and then Maggie walked into bathroom, followed closely by Michonne. 'You didn't answer me.'

'Oh... Sorry,' Asha mumbled. She kept looking at her arms. 'I used to have muscle.'

'How long were you out there on your own?' Maggie asked.

''Bout a month alone, I think. About three or four months before that it was just me and Nash.'

'Living just on fish? Maggie arched a speculative eyebrow.

Asha shrugged, letting her arms drop limply to her sides. 'Mostly. We pretty much kept to the river, but we did the occasional scavenging run into towns. Hadn't quite worked up to making any on my own after we got separated.' She shook her head wryly. 'I couldn't get past the thought that he'd show up as soon as i left the river and we'd spend the rest of our lives just missing each other. Crazy huh?'

'Where are you from, originally i mean?' Maggie asked curiously.

'Before all this? Nash was a dive instructor in Jacksonville. I've been based down in Miami the last couple of years.' Asha rubbed the bridge of her nose. Time to deflect a bit of attention. 'What about you two? Where was this farm of yours?'

There was a flash of pain across Maggie's face. 'Senoia...near enough.'

Asha only vaguely knew where that was. 'South of Atlanta right?'

Maggie nodded tightly.

Asha looked inquiringly at Michonne, but only received a flat silence in response.

'How did you end up here?' Maggie asked.

Asha bit her lip. 'Florida went down before Georgia I think. Miami definitely did. Thank god I was visiting Nash at the time. When it happened, we headed north. Didn't really have a plan, but there was still some radio back then, and everything we heard said everything to the south was just...gone. Infested. But Atlanta, the refugee camp, it was still taking people in.' She swiped both hands down her face past the corners of her mouth. 'Never made it. Never got near it before we started meeting people fleeing from it, carrying stories of napalm and fire... Heading for the coast most of them, but...' she glanced at Maggie and Michonne. 'It was overrun. We tried it. Couldn't get near Savannah, or even some of the smaller towns...And the radio had gone silent long before that.' She stared unseeingly at ground, seeing again the seething burning mass of Savannah and the pall of black smoke over it, blocking out the sun.

'So what were you doing the rest of the time?' Michonne asked.

'What?' Asha silently cursed herself.

'A month on your own, three or four months with your brother, what about before that? Been a while since the turn. Were you with a group?'

Asha arched an eyebrow. 'Because groups are so welcoming these days?'

Maggie had the good grace to look a little abashed. Michonne was unperturbed by her comment. 'They're just being smart. Gotta be. Particularly with what's going on with the Governor.'

'Did they lock you in a cell when you showed up?' Asha challenged.

'Not exactly, but I had something they needed, and they had something I needed.'

Right, the baby formula and information on Maggie and Glenn. Asha had heard about that last night too.

'They're not hurting you,' Michonne added. 'And once they know you're not a threat they'll let you go. That's more than you'd get from most people.' Asha felt a swell of recognition at the bitter note of experience in Michonne's voice. The dread locked woman paused. 'You didn't answer my question.'

_Damn._

'We were with a group right after the turn. Good people, most of them anyway. We had a camp, set up in an old… I guess it was an industrial warehousing complex. Didn't last though.'

She prayed for her voice to stay steady.

'After a bit, we decided we were better off on our own. We stuck to the river after that.' She forced a smile. 'My brother, he has this way with fish. I swear he could put his hand in the water and a fish would jump into it. He feed us pretty well until we got separated. I mean, I do ok with a speargun in the ocean, when I can get in and swim around with the fish, but trying to use a spear from a river bank? Totally different ball game.'

_Shut up Asha, just shut up. You always ramble when you're nervous. _

'Guess I wasn't doing so well on my own though,' she continued, gesturing vaguely in the direction of herself. 'Then Merle and Daryl showed up, and now apparently I've traded starving to imprisonment with Merle's crazy ass.'

_Dear god, please let them be distracted._

'Merle,' Michonne said flatly. 'How is that working out?'

Asha breathed a little easier. 'He's an asshole, but he's all talk at the moment, and he doesn't say anything I haven't heard before.'

Michonne arched an eyebrow.

'I used to be a bartender,' Asha said. 'And not in a nice bar. Reckon he's always talked a bigger game than he's played anyway. Now that Daryl's clipped his wings, i just tune him out.

Maggie and Michonne looked at her curiously. 'What do you mean?' Maggie asked.

Asha looked between them, a little surprised. 'Daryl made his call, out there on the road. He picked you guys.' She shrugged. 'And he may have stewed on it for a minute, but Merle picked Daryl. So now he's got make this work. Which means he's gotta keep his hands to himself.' She sniggered slightly. 'No matter how much I piss him off.'

Maggie and Michonne shared a look.

'You watch him,' Asha said. 'He may be awkward and uncomfortable as fuck about it, but he's got no option other than to try and make this work.'

'We better get back' Maggie said.

'Yeah,' Asha said, 'wouldn't want anyone to think I'd managed to get the drop on both of you.'

Maggie and Michonne both looked at her flatly.

'Sorry,' Asha hunched her shoulders. 'I...'

_Damn it. Think before you open your mouth idiot._

She scooped up her filthy clothes and then paused before handing the soap and deodorant back. 'Thanks,' she said awkwardly.

Maggie nodded noncommittally, and they headed back to the cell block.


	7. Chapter 7

...

They didn't lock her back in the antechamber when they returned to the main part of the cell block—more because it was useful space then anything to do with trusting her and Merle she figured. They were instead allowed the limited freedom of moving around inside the main part of cell block C. Asha took the opportunity to empty out and repack her pack, figuring she might as well make the most of being locked in to do a bit of maintenance on her gear. She sat down on a bench against the wall to replace the mangled flopper on her spear.

Only Michonne and Carol were in the immediate area. Michonne, working through some exercises on the floor and Carol looking through some of the food stacked against one of the walls. Asha, hardly daring to hope, had asked Carol whether she could spare any washing powder. The silvery haired woman had laughingly confirmed that they had plenty of that, the prison having had a well stocked laundry. Asha was itching to wash her clothes—as soon as Michonne was done with her exercises so her two guards could accompany her. Asha knew it wasn't a coincidence that the two of them just happened to have tasks to do in the space she happened to be in. Obviously she wasn't trusted to be left alone. It grated on her, but she let it lie—since if their roles were reversed, she'd be insisting the outsiders were watched as well.

Merle walked out of one of the cells, securing a ten inch blade to the cylindrical strapping around his stump with the last of a role of gaffer tape. He smirked at Asha when he saw she was looking. She grinned. 'Careful now. You old guys can be a bit unsteady on your feet, and we wouldn't want you to cut yourself now would we.'

He spread his arms wide, smirk spreading into a grin. 'Girly, if ya want to see what I can do with ten inches, all ya gotta do is ask.'

Asha snorted and turned back to her gear.

Merle leaned casually against one of the posts and turned his attention to Michonne, engaged in methodical push ups in the centre of the floor. There was an awkward silence until he said, 'Smart to stay fit. Don't forget the cardio.'

Asha listened with half an ear, and she could see Carol doing the same.

Michonne ignored Merle, but he continued anyway. 'Ya know, if we're gonna live under the same roof, we oughta clear the air.' His trademark half smirk half leer was on his face, but Asha, who was getting used to the way Merle dealt with people, could see the tightness around his eye. He rubbed the back of his neck. 'That whole huntin' ya down thing,' he drawled. 'That was just business. Carryin' out orders.'

Michonne looked at him coldly. 'Like the gestapo.'

'Yeah, exactly. I done alotta things I ain't proud of... before and after.'

Asha figured that was as close as Merle was ever going to get to offering an apology.

'Anyway,' he pushed himself away from the post he was leaning against. 'Hope we can get past it. Let bygones be bygones,' he said walking toward the door to the courtyard.

Asha raised both her eyebrows as she met Michonne's eyes, and the dread locked woman arched one of her own in reply. It may not have been the most elegant olive branch ever offered, but it was Merle after all.

Carol looked at them curiously, but just as Merle reached the cell block door, it slammed open and Carl dashed in, his eyes a little wild. 'Andrea's here' he shouted, dashing past them in to the main cell block, where Rick and Daryl were. Michonne was on her feet and through the door in an instant. Asha was quickly on her feet too.

The next moment, Rick marched into the room, followed by the other members of the group. He had rifles in hand.

'We don't know she's alone.' Rick said, passing one to Carol and one to Merle.

A flicker of surprise crossed Merle's face. Daryl nodded tersely at his brother, and received the same gesture in return.

'You all be ready.' Rick said. He paused at the base of the steps, turned, and fixed Asha with a glare. 'You, stay put.' His eyes burned. Asha glared right back at him. 'If I see you outside, I will shoot you myself.'

He continued out the door without giving her a chance to respond.

Asha opened her mouth, but thought better of it as Daryl caught her eye and, gave a tiny half shake of his head. She pushed herself back to sit on the bench, muttering disgustedly to herself and turned her attention back to her repair work, very pointedly not watching the group walk out the door.

...

It seemed like they were gone forever. She tried to focus on her work, but the second she paused, her eyes drifted back to the door.

'God damn it,' she growled. No, Rick be damned. She put her spear to the side, and put her hands down to push herself of the bench.

The cell door banged open the group flowed into the room. Daryl first, who perched on the table in the centre of the room, crossbow held nonchalantly in one hand. Merle brought up the rear, semi automatic rifle across his chest, barrel resting on his stump. In front of him came an attractive blonde woman, her face was calm, but her eyes were trying to be everywhere at once. Andrea, Asha assumed. Rick tossed a bag and handgun on the table near Daryl, and turned cold eyed glare on Andrea. Andrea surveyed the group.

'Shane?' She asked.

Rick shook his head.

'Lori?'

Rick's face closed over.

'She had a girl,' Hershel said sadly. Asha's ears pricked up. Somehow no-one had said her name before. 'She didn't make it.' Hershel finished.

Asha watched as Andrea's overtures to her former companions were met with a lukewarm reception. At least it wasn't just her. She squashed a momentary surge of sympathy.

'So I'm out in the cold whilst Merle's welcomed back into the fold?' Andrea demanded.

Merle's leer didn't budge, but his eyes narrowed.

'Along with whoever that is,' Andrea's flashing eyes fixed on Asha.

'She ain't been shacked up with a madman,' Daryl spat.

'What do you want Andrea?' Rick asked. 'What are you doing here?'

'Philip, the Governor, he's gearing up for war.' Andrea drew a long breath, she took a step towards Rick, voice pleading. 'If you don't try to work this out. I don't know what's gonna happen.'

'Sneak us into Woodbury,' Rick said.

Andrea took a step back, shaking her head.

'There are innocent people there.'

'Then we got nothing to talk about,' Rick said, walking away into the cell block. Andrea cast around the group for support.

'Next time ya talking to Philip,' Daryl said quietly. 'Ya tell him, I'm gonna take his other eye.' He pushed himself of the table and followed Rick. Andrea's shoulders slumped as the group started to break up. Michonne was quick to grab Andrea's attention and pull her towards the door back to the courtyard.

'Wait' Asha called, pushing herself of the bench. 'Andrea.'

The blond woman turned in her direction. Her eyebrows drew down for an instant before smoothing out.

'Yes?'

'I'm looking for my brother, Nash. Is he at Woodbury.' She gave Andrea a quick description. A look of sympathy crossed Andrea's face as she shook her head. 'He wasn't there this morning.' Asha's face dropped and she fought hard to swallow the bitterness at the back of her throat.

'Hey' Andrea said. 'I'll keep an eye out for him.' She hesitated. 'Daryl already asked me about him you know.' Asha's hands tightened momentarily on the spear she still held.

Andrea locked her eyes on her. 'These are good people. Don't blow your chance with them.'

Asha gave a bark of laughter. 'If they're so good, why are you cavorting with the enemy.'

Andrea stiffened. 'Because I'm the only chance that we get out of this without all out war.' She stalked away, Michonne glaring at Asha as she followed.

_Good job Asha, way to alienate people._

Merle sniggered. 'Ya been spending too much time in my company girly. My people skills seem to be rubbin' off'.'

'Shut up Merle.'

* * *

Asha titled her head back against the cool of the concrete wall behind her. She had slunk away from the group and was sitting in the corner of the courtyard, tucked out of sight of the walkers. She closed her eyes, relishing the solitude. In the excitement of Andrea's visit, the group had forgotten about leaving a guard with her. Now would be the perfect time to slip away, if Andrea's information hadn't meant that she had no where in particular to go. The sour feeling of disappointment swirled in Asha's stomach and her throat constricted. She cast her mind around for a distraction.

Andrea was still there. Michonne and Andrea had spent quite a while talking quietly together, and although the others had been wary at first, they had gradually warmed to the woman who had once been part of the group—once they accepted that she wasn't an immediate threat. Except for Rick that was, who had disappeared somewhere into the bowels of the prison and hadn't returned. Asha was a little unnerved by the twinge of jealousy she felt as she watched the group's walls tentatively come down, and the genuine warmth with which they treated each other.

She was also feeling increasingly guilty about the comment she'd made to Andrea. The more it played over in her head, the more she felt like a judgemental bitch. Her guilt was a tiny drop of ill feeling next to the ocean of longing for her brother, but at least she could do something about it. She sighed and pushed herself to her feet. It probably wouldn't make any difference, but she figured she owed Andrea an apology before she left.

She was checking the cells when she heard Andrea and Carol up on the perch, cooing over baby Judith.

'What happened with Shane?' Andrea asked.

Asha stepped back into the shadow of a cell. She was curious about that too—Andrea's mention of the name that morning had been the first she'd heard of it. Surprising when she'd picked up so much other information from the groups conversation. There was a long pause before Carol spoke.

'Rick killed him.'

Asha held her breath as Carol continued. 'That last day at the farm, the whole thing with Randall was a set up. A trap. Shane tried to kill him.'

'Shane loved Rick,' Andrea said, shock clear in her voice.

'Shane loved Lori,' Carol said sadly.

Asha started breathing again as the pieces of that puzzle slipped into place. Obviously Rick hadn't made peace with Lori before she'd passed. She felt a twinge of sympathy, and suddenly the edge of crazy she seen hovering at the back of Rick's eyes didn't seem quite so strange. Not that it made him any less crazy of course.

Asha took a deep breath and half stepped forward when she heard Carol speak. 'You need to do something.'

'I am' Andrea snapped.

'No' Carol said, her voice low and intent. 'You need to sleep with him. Give him the greatest night of his life. Get him to drop his guard and then when he's sleeping...' There was a beat. 'You can end this.'

There was a stunned silence from Andrea. Asha felt a bit that way herself. Not at the suggestion itself— if the Governor was as bad as she'd heard, then there was a certain logic to what Carol had said. It was quick, clean.

She heard Andrea's footsteps on the stairwell to the perch and stepped all the way back into the cell, thinking furiously. Carol had sounded perfectly calm and in control when she'd made that suggestion, and as she thought about it, Asha knew without a doubt that if she was in the position to do so, Carol would do exactly what she had suggested to Andrea. Asha wasn't sure how that made her feel about Carol, but she was damn sure it meant she had underestimated her. She shivered suddenly.

She stayed hidden in the cell until Carol came down the stairs and headed out of the cell block.

* * *

The sun was setting as they gathered in the courtyard to farewell Andrea, the walkers in the yard casting long slow moving shadows in the golden light that shuffled across the concrete ground and prison walls.

'Can you spare it?' Andrea asked looking at the car.

'Uh huh,' Rick said.

'Please Rick,' Andrea begged. 'If i can organise it, will you speak with him? At least try to sort something out before blowing each other to bits.'

Rick looked at the faces around the courtyard.

So did Asha. She could almost see the wary hope behind Hershel and Beth's eyes, maybe Carol's too. Rick's eyes, when she met them, were unreadable.

He glanced around the group once more, eyes skirting across the catwalk and then flinching away suddenly. He knuckled the bridge of his nose and took a couple of deep breaths. Then he grunted. 'If you come back and swear to me that he is willing to talk. I will meet him.'

Andrea smiled in relief.

'Stupid,' Merle hissed quietly in Asha's ear. She jumped. He had slunk up when she wasn't paying attention and was standing right behind her shoulder.

Rick locked eyes with Andrea. 'On neutral ground,' he said. ' I'll pick the place.'

'Thank you,' Andrea said putting her hand on his arm. 'Thank you.'

She made a circuit of the group, exchanging hugs and farewells. When she got to Asha and Merle she nodded stiffly and made to move straight past them.

'Andrea,' Asha said.

Andrea looked at her, face cold.

Asha swallowed.

'Sorry about before,' she said. 'Sometimes my mouth gets away from me.' There was an awkward pause. 'I say stuff i've got no right to.' Not the most eloquent apology ever.

Andrea looked at her, eyes narrowed.

'Hell girly, don't go sugar coating an apology,' Merle drawled. 'Might have ta revise my good opinion of ya if ya let that backbone of yours turn to mush.' He draped his arm around her shoulder, no doubt enjoying the shock that flashed in Andrea's eyes.

'Oh, don't be jealous now blondie,' he leered. 'Ya never did take me up on that offer of bumpin' uglies. Can't complain if I've found me a younger, blonder model.'

Asha rolled her eyes. 'Well the uglies would be all on your side in that equation,' she said dryly. She shoved Merle's arm off her shoulder with a finger. 'But you keep on dreamin' old man. I hear you old guys have thin blood and i guess you need something to keep you warm at night.'

Merle roared with laughter.

Andrea was looking at her with a mix of aversion and bewilderment. Then she shook her head slightly. 'Well, if you're puttin' up with Merle, I guess I can forgive you a slip of the tongue.'

Asha gave her a small grateful smile before turning around to punch Merle in the arm. He brushed her off, still chuckling. She caught Daryl's eye as she turned back. He had a look of disgust on his face, but the corner of his mouth quirked upwards before he got it under control.

Rick passed Andrea's bag, gun and knife to her through the open window of the car.

'I'll be back within two days.' Andrea said seriously. 'If not, well...'

Rick nodded.

'Take care' she said.

'You too.'

The gate was pulled open and Andrea drove out through the walker filled yard into the golden evening.

As the rumble of the engine faded into the distance, Rick spoke. 'I'm goin' on a run.' he said. 'We don't have the guns or ammo to go up against the Governor.'

'I thought we were just meeting to talk,' Beth said, the worry clear in her voice.

Rick nodded. 'We are. But best to be prepared. We don't know what's gonna happen after those talks.' He rubbed a hand across the stubble on his face. 'I know a few places in King County that are still likely to have weapons, ammo. Gonna take advantage of the time we've got to stock up.'

'When d'ya wanna leave?' Daryl asked.

'Not you.'

Daryl blinked, then his lips compressed into a thin line.

Rick nodded in Merle and Asha's direction. 'You stay here, keep an eye on your brother and the stray.'

Asha felt a muscle twitch in her cheek.

Rick put a hand on Daryl's shoulder. 'I'm glad you're back, really. But if either of them causes a problem, its on you.'

Daryl spat. 'Fine. But ya people are just gonna have to get used to him being here. He ain't leavin'.'

'You can't go by yourself.' Hershel said.

Rick nodded. 'I won't. I'll take Carl,' he paused. 'And Michonne'.

A momentary flicker of surprise crossed Michonne's face but she nodded quickly.

'Everyone back inside' Rick said, voice louder. 'Glenn, you got first watch.'

Glenn nodded and headed for the guard tower.

The rest of the group headed back into the cell block.

'You sure Michonne's a good idea?' Asha overheard Daryl murmur quietly to Rick.

'I'll find out.'

* * *

**[A/N: Next one won't be up till after Christmas guys. I'm going to be away camping and will be without electricity and phone reception. Merry Xmas!]**


	8. Chapter 8

**[A/N: For those of you leaving reviews, thank you! Hearing your thoughts makes my day. **

**Just a short one again, but the next one has some length, and aiming to get it up before the New Year.]**

* * *

Asha stared into the darkness. She was locked back in the anteroom with Merle, who was laying quietly on his side of the room. The whole cell block was quiet. The faint gleam of moonlight through the bars in the high window provided just enough light to etch the walls and furniture in hard dark lines.

She couldn't sleep.

Her mind was turning over all the things she'd learnt today— Andrea, Shane, Lori, Carol … Nash. No matter how she tried to keep her mind away from it, she saw again the flash of sympathy in Andrea's eyes as she confirmed that Nash wasn't at Woodbury.

Asha didn't feel strong enough to face it, but she'd been holding it at bay all day. Laying in the dark and the quiet, there wasn't much else she could do.

The loss had hollowed out her chest. She ached with it. The worst part was it meant she had no real lead on Nash's location. She supposed that logically she wasn't really any worse off than she'd been two days ago. But she felt worse. She was back to the river. She could see it in her mind, black and slick under the night sky, it stretched out for an eternity. An impossible distance to search and lose her brother on over and over again.

She knew it did no good to dwell on things at night, the darkness leached away all perspective and left everything warped. But knowing and doing aren't always the same thing, and as she lay there empty and aching, she desperately didn't want to go back out to the river on her own again.

There was a rustle of sound from across the room, and the shadow looming towards her in the darkness resolved itself in the faint moonlight to be Merle.

Seriously? Were they going to go through this again?

He nudged her with a foot.

'Awake girly?' He whispered.

Asha nearly told him go to hell, but then she saw the faint gleam of moonlight on a glass bottle in his hand. He tucked it under his arm and then unscrewed the cap. The sweet, sweet scent of Southern Comfort wafted into the air. She quickly scooted into a sitting position, back against the cold concrete wall, and patted the thin mattress next to her.

Merle lowered himself to ground beside her. He drained off a long swig from the bottle, tipped his head back to rest against the wall behind him and exhaled contentedly. He held out the bottle and Asha took it smiling.

She took a long swallow enjoying the burn at the back of her throat.

'Oh Merle,' she murmured appreciatively. 'That is...delicious'

'Tastes like civilisation don't it?'

She chuckled softly. 'Don't know if i'd go quite that far.' But it was a welcome remnant of civilisation, that was for sure. 'Where'd ya get it,' she asked.

Merle held his hand out, Asha took another quick gulp before handing the bottle back.

'Had a little rummage through my baby brother's things this arvo. He always was partial to a bit of Southo. Been holdin' out on me the ungrateful little shit.'

'Guess you've got more of a communal sense of title, huh?'

There was a pause. 'What's that supposed to mean' he grumbled.

Asha pointed at the bottle. 'What's his is yours right?'.

'That boy'd be nothing without me, without what I did for 'im growing up. I protected him,' he spat. 'The god damn old man,' he muttered under his breath. 'None of these bastards get that.'

'But Daryl gets it?' There was only half a question in her voice.

Merle grunted. He took another long draught from the bottle, then dragged the back of his hand across his mouth. 'These people, they look at me like I'm scum. Ya think I don't know that they think I'm some sort of...' He trailed off.

'We are what we are,' Asha said quietly— Merle's eyes narrowed at her— 'but that doesn't mean ya have to be what other people think you are.'

He snorted softly. 'Ya don't know what I've done, girly.' He watched her out of the corner of his eye.

She shrugged and reached for the bottle.

'These pussies don't know, really know, what it takes to survive now. The Governor, for all his fucked up crazy shit... he sure had a firm grasp on that.'

Asha took a long swig, mulling it over. 'Sure he had that part right?'

'Didn't matter what I was sure about. He was sure enough for everyone, for a whole fuckin town.' There was a long pause while Merle stared at the ground in the darkness. 'Pass us that,' he said, hand out. He took a gulp, then started turning the bottle around in his hand. 'Had this way of makin' ya think it was your idea. But somehow ya wound up doin' exactly what he wanted.'He leant off the mattress and spat onto the ground.

'Oi,' Asha said, whacking him the chest with the back of her hand. 'I've still gotta sleep here when you go back to your bed.'

'You'll cope princess.'

He stared into the darkness for another long minute. Asha reached over him and took the bottle back, savouring the warmth that spread through her chest. She passed him the bottle.

'What would ya do, if ya found Nash with the Governor, and he wouldn't leave?'

'You and Andrea both reckon he's not there.'

'We don't know everyone, or he could show up there today.' He persisted. 'What would ya do?''

'Nash would leave.'

'Take your word for it would he? Woodbury casts quite a spell. Looks to be just what everyone's looking for, until ya scratch the surface.' Merle raised both eyebrows at her in the dark. 'Trust ya judgement that much does he girly?'

Asha flinched before she could help it, and her throat constricted, despite the alcohol induced mellow.

'Ah, so he doesn't trust ya.'

'Fuck you Merle,' she hissed. _You perceptive prick._ 'He'd wouldn't have to trust me about the Governor. He could make up his own mind—once i told him about that trick with the van, about you, Michonne, all of it.'

There was a long silence. They passed the bottle back and forth again. Asha's head had started to spin, but not in an unpleasant way.

'Yeah, my baby brother used to trust my judgment once,' Merle eventually said. 'Till Officer Friendly got a hold of him. Now he's forgotten what's important. Forgotten his blood.'

Asha shook her head. 'He's got new blood here. Besides, it's not like you've got a great track record of making good calls right?' She grinned at him in the dark to cut the sting in her words. 'Maybe it's time for you to trust him?'

Merle grunted noncommittally. 'Things coulda been different.'

Asha helped herself to the bottle again. 'Yeah, things could always have been different, but he hasn't left you much choice this time right?'

'No gratitude that boy, after everything I've done for him.'

He fixed Asha with a long look, long enough that she started to get a little uncomfortable.

'What?'

'So why wouldn't your brother trust your judgment?' he asked. 'So far you seem to have your head on straight...Fairly straight. That trick in the woods was pretty fuckin' stupid.'

Asha snorted and took another long swig. The words were out of her mouth before she'd thought them through. 'I proved in fairly spectacular fashion, that I shouldn't be the one making decisions for us.' _Damn alcohol._

Merle's eyes gleamed at her in the darkness. 'Whadya do girly?'

For an instant, she thought about telling him. Merle—with all the marks on his soul—might even understand. But as she turned the bottle over in her hands, eyes fixed unseeingly on it, an echo of how she'd felt in the days after—when Nash had abandoned her—swamped her. She didn't have the strength for it. She took a long swig of the burning liquor instead.

'I'm going back to sleep, old man.' She held out the bottle to him. 'I think this has just about found the off switch in my brain tonight,' she lied.

In the darkness, it was difficult to see Merle's face. The curiosity was there for certain, but there was something else too, something that looked strangely like compassion. He took the bottle gently out of her hand. 'Yeah, well...that ain't such a bad thing these days.'

He patted her familiarly on the knee and pushed himself to his feet. 'Sleep well girly.'

'Don't fucking snore and maybe I will.'

He grunted quietly and started back to his mattress.

'Hey Merle,' she called softly, laying back down on the mattress and pillowing her head on her arms. 'Thanks for not being an ass and sharing with me.'

Merle half turned and there was the gleam of moonlight on the bottle as he lifted it in a silent salute to her.

Asha smiled and closed her eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

Asha was woken the next morning by conversation at the gate. 'Let 'em out if you want Daryl,' Rick said. 'But you brought 'em back. They're your responsibility.'

Asha peeled her bleary eyes open, her tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth and her head was humming with the aftermath of the southern comfort. The sunlight streaming through the high window was offensively bright.

Daryl grunted. 'Keepin' 'em locked up ain't a long term solution. I meant what I said about Merle. Gotta make this work. And Asha ain't got no reason to run off to Woodbury now. Hell, she ain't even a problem if she does. Ain't nothin' she could tell the Governor now that Andrea probably hasn't already told him.'

'Your call,' was all Rick said. 'But lock 'em back up at night. I ain't comfortable with either of them roaming round whilst our people sleep.' He looked up at the early morning light coming through the barred window. 'Reckon we'll be back by dark. But if something happens and we're not back by first light, you get our people out. Head north. We'll meet you on the road.'

Daryl nodded. 'See you tonight.'

Asha sat up as Daryl opened the gate, pressing her fingertips to her temples as she did so. Merle was snoring in the corner again. Daryl kicked him and he grunted and rolled over.

'Get up.' Daryl said. 'The two of you have been paroled. But either of you fuck up and I will lock you back in here myself.'

'Shut up, baby brother,' Merle groaned, pulling the thin blanket over his head. The corner of the empty Southern Comfort bottle poked out. 'Man's trying to sleep.'

Asha pushed herself to her feet, ignoring the protest from her stomach and head at the movement. 'What, no breakfast delivery this morning?'

'Breaky in bed ain't an everyday occurrence around her.' Daryl waved an arm towards the open gate. 'Go help ya self.'

Asha paused as she went past him. 'You really gonna let me leave the prison if I want?'

Daryl chewed his bottom lip for a moment, but nodded.

'I get all my gear back?'

''Cept the gun. We need that.'

She harrumphed slightly. 'Guess I'll go see about breaky'.

Before she could even think about leaving, she needed the bathroom, and maybe a bucket of water to dunk her thundering head in, since she figured a handful of painkillers was out of the question.

* * *

She found Carol in the open area in front of the cells which was doubling as a cooking space whilst most of their outside access was restricted due to the yard full of walkers. The silvery haired woman looked up with a smile from the large pot she was stirring on a butane burner.

'You're out,' she noted.

'Paroled into the caring hands of Daryl Dixon,' Asha said dryly.

Carol smiled. 'There are worse hands to be in. Hungry?'

'Yeah.'

Carol gave her a bowl of the unappetizing porridge, smiling at the look on Asha's face. 'When we got here, there was still quite a bit of food stockpiled in the kitchen, but i swear half of it's this tasteless porridge. Better than nothin' though right?'

'Well, there is that,' Asha said. She rubbed her eyes tiredly. 'What i really want is about a foot of bacon, a couple of fried eggs and pint of soda water with a splash of oj.' There was nothing better than soda water and juice to deal with a hangover.

Carol looked at her puzzled.

Asha shook her head dismissively, and took the bowl of gloop. It wasn't a dish that needed to be savoured and she shoveled it down as quickly as her stomach—harbouring a grudge from last night's Southern Comfort—would let her.

Carol watched her eat. Asha was wondering whether she was going to have to field another comment about her weight or grilling as to how she'd survived on her own, when Carol said 'Sorry to hear your brother wasn't at Woodbury.'

Asha nodded tightly.

'What are your plans now?'

Asha shrugged.

'You're doing well with Merle.'

Asha froze with the spoon in her mouth. 'What?' She said around a mouthful of porridge.

'You're handling him well. He has a way of getting under people's skin, but he doesn't seem to rattle you.' Carol smiled gently. 'Besides, when he's griping at you he's giving the rest of us, Daryl included, a break. That's gonna be worth a lot around here if he stays.'

'If?'

'Daryl's family. We'll do anything for him, but we don't want to see Merle drag him down. And Merle, well, he's not an easy person to have around.'

Asha thought about that whilst she finished her porridge. Carol, it seemed, would be happy if she stayed—even if it was just to create a buffer between the rest of the group and Merle.

Didn't say a lot about Merle's welcome through.

She looked at Carol, innocuously preparing breakfast for the group and tried to reconcile that image with the cold blooded suggestion the woman had so calmly made to Andrea yesterday. Asha casually glanced around. There was no one in the immediate vicinity. 'I overheard you speaking to Andrea,' she said quietly.

Carol's hands froze, just for an instant, before she quickly resumed stirring the pot. 'And?' She said calmly.

Asha looked her in the eye. 'Makes sense. Quickest solution for everyone—if Andrea can slip out after without getting caught.'

Carol nodded.

'Rick put you up to it?'

Carol's eye's widened and the spoon clanged sharply against the pot, though she quickly looked down and start stirring smoothly again.

'No,' she shook her head. 'And i'd rather he didn't know for the moment, least not until—if—anything comes of it. He's got enough on his plate.'

Asha nodded. 'Yes he has.' She scrapped the last of the porridge out of the bowl. 'Reckon she'll do it?'

Carol considered it for a moment, then shook her head. 'No,' she sighed. 'She still wants to save everyone, him included I think.'

'Hmm, can't object to people trying to save people I guess.'

Carol gave a tiny laugh. Asha held out the bowl awkwardly for a moment. 'Can I help you wash these up?'

Carol smiled. 'Thanks, but lets get everyone fed first. Here.' she passed Asha two bowls. 'I think Beth and Hershel are out in the courtyard.'

* * *

Mid morning, sun blazing in the sky, found Asha on the little landing outside cell block C. She sat, slumped back resting against the concrete wall, knees drawn into her chest and throbbing head cradled in her hands. Damn, but she used to have better drinking legs than this. She could only put it down to being half starved.

Next to her, though the gaps in the wooden pallets leaning on the landing cage, the walker filled yard was a slow moving mass in the corner of her eye. Maggie had been right when she'd said earlier that the pallets wouldn't offer much protection from bullets. The risk of attack was one of the reasons she should just go. Wash her hands of these people and walk away.

Daryl's offer to let her leave the prison had been hanging over her head, and she'd spent the morning in a haze of awkwardness and confusion. Her gut pulled for her to grab her stuff and set off after Nash. Her head—in more ways than one thanks to the Southo—told her not to be stupid. Don't rush into anything. You don't even have a lead on where he might be, and wouldn't it be nice just to go and have a quiet lay down for a bit?

She hadn't though. Instead, she had helped Carol with chores—whatever she ultimately decided, she was eating these peoples food and doing that without making any sort of contribution didn't sit well with her. Maggie and Glenn had slunk off somewhere together. Merle had disappeared somewhere into the prison. Daryl had slipped outside at some point, even though Asha wasn't really sure how far he could go with the yard full of walkers. She'd avoided Beth and the baby and Hershel, as much as possible, difficult when everyone was more or less restricted to inside.

She'd come out to see if she could get the lay of the land, or at least figure out where the exits were. It was a bit of a bust though. The only place she could get to from the landing without stirring up the dead was the courtyard, and there was nowhere to go from there. So she sat on the landing and watched the deadheads through the gap in the pallet. Their slow movement as they milled in the yard, the shuffle of their feet, was almost hypnotic. Without really being aware of what she was doing, her eyes tracked across each walker she could see, searching for one that was the right height, right build, right face with that telltale tattoo around its left forearm.

Then she lifted her eyes to the woods out beyond the fence, tried to think if that's where she wanted to be. On her own again. Wondered how long she could keep kidding herself that she could survive long term out there without Nash.

She heard the tap of Hershel's crutches coming up the stairs before the door to the landing pushed open and he maneuvered himself awkwardly through it.

'Thought I might find you here.' His voice was calm and friendly.

Asha kept her eyes on the woods beyond the fence.

'I know Daryl told you could leave if you want. You made any plans yet?'

Well at least he wasn't beating around the bush. Asha shook her head without shifting her gaze.

'Good. Not a decision to be rushed.'

Asha heard him shuffling around until he was leaning up against the door. The words he was waiting to say started to weigh in the air.

Asha glanced across at him. 'But you've got an opinion right?'

Hershel chuckled quietly. 'Of course. I'm the resident old man of this group. Wouldn't be living up to my end of the bargain if I didn't have an opinion right?'

Asha fought the smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. 'Well. Go on then,' she said waving her hand.

'Don't be rushing into anything.'

Asha arched an eyebrow. 'That's not much of an opinion.'

'Just give it a bit of time. You're in no real state to be on your own out there.'

Asha bristled before she could help it.

'You'd be foolish not to admit it,' Hershel said. 'And so far, you don't seem like a fool. Bit headstrong maybe, but not a fool.' There was a beat. 'What would the plan be anyway?'

'Find Nash.'

'Then what? Just the two of you against the world?'

Asha turned her head to look at the old man directly. 'It's safer that way.'

'Maybe you could bring him back here?' Hershel said.

Asha's heart leapt in her chest, and she paused for a moment stunned at the hope she'd just felt at having both. She turned her face away, hoping Hershel hadn't seen the flash of hope across her face, but she was pretty sure she was too late.

'You could cover a lot of ground from a fixed base, search properly.'

'What difference does it make to you if I find him or not.'

'I'm not doing it just for you,' he sighed. 'We need new people, we keep everyone out and we're going to wither away and die—if the Governor doesn't take us all down first. I won't lie to you. We're having troubles at the moment, but i'm hoping that if you hang around long enough, you'll see we're good people, that its worth taking a chance on what we could build here.'

Asha tipped her head back against the wall and closed her eyes. Build something. A life, instead of just surviving on the road. It was what Nash wanted. He'd talked about it often—finding somewhere safe with good people to make it happen.

Her first camp had tried that. She remembered what that felt like. The sense of community, of something worthwhile.

It hadn't lasted.

'It's just a pipe dream,' she said bitterly.

'Not if we make it happen,' Hershel said. They were silent for a minute. 'Just, tell me you'll think about it.'

Asha nodded, lips compressed sourly. 'I'll think about it.' Gonna be hard to think about anything else now wasn't it.

'Good.' He reached into his back pocket and pulled something out. 'A little reward for not being a fool.' He pushed it into her hand. It was a tube of antiseptic cream. He nodded at her arms, bare in her tank top, and covered in scratches. 'Some of those look like they could use it. Maggie mentioned you had a couple of bigger scrapes that could do with it too.' Asha turned the tube over in her hands as Hershel steadied himself on his crutches to leave.

'Hershel,' she said as he pulled the door open. 'I can see what you're doing, and I don't like being manipulated' —Hershel didn't look even a little ashamed— 'but I am going to think about what you said.' She held up the tube. 'Thank you' she said honestly.


	10. Chapter 10

**[A/N: Happy New years all! Hope it has been a good one! Hope you enjoy this one, I had quite a bit of fun writing it.]**

* * *

Later that afternoon, Asha leant against a door frame in empty cell block B, watching Merle shred one of the prison mattresses with the knife strapped to his stump. The sound of ripping fabric was loud in the quiet space and little tufts of synthetic stuffing floated into the air.

'Watcha doin'?' She asked.

Merle barely glanced at her. 'Best dope. I ever had was from a prison mattress.' He continued with the job at hand.

Asha came into the room and perched on one of the benches, crossed legs swinging slightly as she watched him.

Rip. Rip. Rip. Silence.

'What do ya want?' He asked when it became apparent she wasn't going anywhere. Hungover Merle was surly Merle it appeared.

She gave a tiny shrug. 'Was getting awkward out there. Someone was always watching me.'

Merle grunted. He tossed the mattress aside and started on another. He'd pulled a pile of mattresses out off the cells and was working through them methodically.

'Reckon you'll find anything?'

'What do you care?'

'Well hasn't being let out of the cell improved your temper? Or is that just the hangover talking?'

'Fuck off.'

Asha grinned, remembering where that conversation had ended up last time. 'You wish.'

Merle ignored her for a while, working on the mattress. 'You really gonna lit outta here?'

Asha shrugged. 'Maybe. Haven't decided yet. I'm not gonna find my brother hiding here.' She paused for a long moment. 'And I don't want any part of what's going on with the Governor.'

Merle spat. 'No-one wants any part of that.' He gave the mattress in front of him a particularly vicious tear.

'You reckon there's any chance these talks will sort something out?' Asha asked. 'If Andrea can even organise them?'

Merle snorted derisively.

'Yeah.' Asha said. 'Thought so.'

'Best thing would be to sneak in and kill the bastard whilst he's sleeping.'

Maybe Merle had more in common with Carol then he realised. 'You volunteering?'

Merle destroyed another mattress, hurling the tattered remains across the room in a cloud of fluff. 'Ya know ya gonna starve out there before ya find ya brother right?'

Asha grinned. 'Oh Merle, I'm touched. Might almost believe you care.'

'Just can't believe ya'd abandon me in the vipers' nest girly, after all we've been through.' He leered at her, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. ''Sides, I reckon ya startin' to warm up to me. You'll be snuggling up to me of a night time and begging me for it before too long.'

Asha laughed. 'Only if you shower first. And find some toothpaste...Maybe a change of clothes.' She smirked. 'And what would I really be getting out of it? Thirty seconds of up and down? I hear you old guys don't have much stamina. Sounds like a shit deal for me.'

'Bitch.'

'Redneck.'

'Whore.'

'Still wishin' Merle.'

He tossed another gutted mattress aside.

'So. How's this gonna work then?' Asha said.

Merle looked up at her startled.

She rolled her eyes. 'Not that. You. Them. Living with people you tried to kill?'

'Ain't none of ya business.'

'Might be if i stay.'

'What about ya brother?'

'Might starve remember? Besides, this could be a good base. It's near the river. I can get out there and back in a day and half, faster if I get hold of a car. Leave him some signs.' She swung her legs back and forth. 'Roof over my head when the weather's shit. There are definitely some upsides... Maybe I will stay.'

Merle grunted.

'So. Think they'll let bygones be bygones?'

Merle just grunted again.

'You knew them before right? Back in Atlanta?'

'So that's what this is about. Ya wanna know what type of folks ya shacking up with?'

Asha gave a tiny one shouldered shrug, legs still swinging. 'Well?'

'Assholes left me handcuffed to a roof. Rick, Glenn, Andrea, a wetback and couple of niggers, dead now. Don't that tell ya everything you need to know?' He waved his stump at her. 'Had to cut off my own hand to get off that roof.'

Asha's mouth twisted at his derogatory language. 'But you're such a delight Merle, what ever could you have done to deserve that?'

'Think ya so fucking smart don't ya girly?'

'They went back for you though, right?'

'Only cause Daryl made 'em.' He shook his head. 'They've changed since then though. Andrea's stopped screechin' long enough to figure out how to survive. Heard her sister got turned before they left Atlanta. Sweet kid. And Sheriff Rick, well… Rick's bat shit crazy. Guess he ain't quite realised his moralistic crap won't fly in this world.' Merle grunted suddenly. 'Or maybe he has. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe he's realised he ain't got the strength to carry the weight of what it takes to survive in this world.' He gave a sudden harsh bark of laugh. 'Gotta admit though, the chinaman's grown a pair. Took out a walker when he was tied to a chair.' There was an edge of begrudging admiration in the big man's voice. 'Takes serious balls to pull that off.'

Asha was silent and still for a moment.

'You tied him to the chair?' It wasn't really a question.

Merle's usual half sneer half smirk spread across his face. 'What's the matter doll face, forget what a delight i am?' He crossed his stump across his chest. 'A little bit of reality crushing all your fantasies of there bein' a heart of gold buried under here somewhere?'

'And then you pushed a walker on him.' Asha's voice was even, but her skin crawled.

Merle looked up at her for a long moment. 'Yes,' he said. His face was blank, but Asha thought she could see a shadow of self loathing in the tightness around his eyes. It was the only reason she didn't get up and leave immediately.

'We are what we are remember?' He said bitterly.

'Yeah Merle.' She held his gaze. 'But we chose what we do with it...And we aren't just the things we've done in the past.' She looked down at her hands. 'We can't be.'

She started swinging her legs again and waved at Merle to continue his destruction of yet another mattress. The room was quiet except for the sound of tearing fabric whilst she mulled all of that over. After a minute she said very quietly, 'and they're still willing to at least try to give you another chance.'

Merle stilled over the mattress, just for a second, before tearing back into it.

'I didn't make 'em go back for you,' Daryl said from just outside the door.

Asha jumped, then grimaced at herself for doing so.

The younger Dixon brother stepped forward from where he had been concealed in the shadows. 'Rick and T-Dog, they'd already made the call to go back for ya before I even knew ya were gone.'

'Shit baby brother, how long you been standin' there?'

'Long enough.'

'You make a habit of listening at doors?' Asha asked sourly.

'You make a habit of drinking other people's liquor?' Daryl bit back.

'Only when they leave it laying around.'

'Bastards didn't even offer to share,' Daryl grumbled.

Merle laughed. 'Hell little brother, I was doin' ya a favour and ya know it. Drinking with people ain't your strong point.'

Asha looked between the brothers puzzled.

'He's a mean drunk' Merle clarified.

Daryl grunted. 'Not always.' He looked at Asha and gestured with his head to the door. 'Ya mind? Need a word with my brother.'

She jumped down from the bench. 'Well, you let me know if you find any weed in this little search and destroy mission of yours, old man. Maybe if I get stoned outta my brain i'll be able to sleep through your god awful snoring.'

'I'm doing all the work girly, I ain't sharin' with ya.'

'Come on Merle, don't be like that. I thought we were workin' up a nice sense of domestic bliss in that cell.'

'What? Provided I keep plying ya with drugs and booze?'

'Firm basis for any relationship right?' She gave him a cheeky grin. 'Besides, if I don't start gettin' some sleep I'm really am gonna start kickin' you in the kidneys of a night to make you shut the hell up.'

She strode out into the corridor, but paused once she was just past it and flattened herself against the wall. _Fair's fair Daryl._

'Ya seem to be getting along.' Daryl said dryly.

Merle grunted. 'She's smart mouthed bitch...but at least she ain't a judgmental one.'

Asha felt the corner of her mouth tug up before she could help it.

'Besides,' Merle continued. 'Ain't like I got a lot of options for conversation at the moment.'

Definitely one of the more backhanded compliments she'd received in her life.

'Ya trust her?' Daryl asked.

'For what?' Merle snorted. 'Not to kill me in my sleep? She ain't so far.' He paused. 'Reckon she really is just looking for her brother. I trust her to hold her own against walkers… reckon she'll pull her weight if she hangs around. But if i got between her and her brother… '

Daryl grunted.

Asha slipped away. _Ever notice how you never hear anything good about yourself when you eavesdrop?_

* * *

'Hey.' Daryl's gravelly voice was behind her. Asha was stretched out on her mattress, reading a book she'd borrowed from Beth.

She glanced up. 'Hey.'

'Tired of sleeping on the floor yet?'

Asha tossed a startled look over her shoulder. If that had come from Merle she'd have thought she was being propositioned. From Daryl, she wasn't so sure. He was leaning against the door frame, bare arms crossed, eyes hooded behind the dark hair falling across his face.

'What?' She asked.

'Got plenty of spare cells, thought ya might like a bit of ya own space.'

Asha snorted. 'Thought Rick wanted us locked up at night.'

'Cell doors lock.'

Asha pushed to her feet and walked over to the door to stand near Daryl. He shifted around so he wasn't touching her. She looked down the long row of narrow cell block openings and pictured being alone in one of those small places with the door locked. She shuddered involuntarily, and Daryl flinched back as she brushed him. She shook her head. 'No.'

'What? It ain't so bad...Once you get used to it. Beats the floor.'

'Not with the door locked.'

Daryl nodded and started to move away.

'Daryl,' she said. She reached out a hand but stopped short of touching him when she remembered how he'd flinched moments ago. 'I appreciate the offer anyway.' There was a long pause while her fingers hovered above his arm. 'Why'd ya make it?'

He moved his arm out of reach and shrugged. 'Put up with Merle's snoring for years. Man could keep ya awake through a thunderstorm.' Then he paused awkwardly. ''Sides, ya gonna get one if ya stay anyway. Might as well be now. Ain't like we're short on space.'

Asha searched his face with her eyes. 'Does that mean you want me to stay?'

He folded his bottom lip into his mouth and chewed on it for a minute. 'You bein' here, it's takin' some of the pressure off Merle. Be easier for him if ya stay.'

'I must have missed the meeting where I got appointed your brother's damn keeper,' she muttered under her breath.

'What?'

Asha scrubbed her hand across her forehead. 'Never mind. So makes no difference to you whether I stay or go?'

He shrugged, but the casual gesture was at odds with the intensity in his eyes. 'Just want what's good for my brother.'

'That's not what I asked. Rick doesn't want me here, and he's running this place. If you don't either...then this is gonna be hard.'

'Rick's a good guy,' Daryl said quickly. 'He's just... dealin' with stuff right now.' He squinted at her a little. 'Hang around, you'll see.'

He was avoiding her question.

She opened her mouth to pressure him when Maggie's call cut in from the door to the courtyard.

'Rick's back.'

* * *

**[A/N: Hoping to get the next one up mid week sometime. As always, would love to hear your thoughts!]**


	11. Chapter 11

**[A/N: This chapter is one of my favourites, so I would love some feed back on it - either what you like, or what you don't like. Cheers!]**

* * *

The late afternoon sun was slanting across the prison as the group watched Rick, Michonne and Carl pull into the courtyard. The car pulled to a stop as Daryl chained the courtyard gate closed behind it. Rick got out, looking more relaxed then Asha had seen him. He clapped Daryl on the shoulder and grinned.

'You're gonna want to see this,' he said, moving to the back of the car and popping the boot.

Two heavy black duffle bags were dropped to the concrete, barrels of automatic weapons protruding from either end and bulging with the rectangular shapes of ammunition boxes. An orange backpack, hung with camping pots, hit the ground next to them. For a moment, Asha's eyes fixed on the dark bloody smear across the bright orange canvas.

When she looked up, Daryl was holding out a new crossbow, his eyes practically glowing. He sighted along the shaft to check it was straight, then hefted it in one hand to feel for the weight. Rick was smiling, so was Michonne as she pulled yet another bag of guns onto her shoulder. Glenn and Maggie were rummaging through the two duffle bags on the ground, delighted grins across both their faces.

The relief was palpable.

'Good run then?' Hershel asked, clicking forward on his crutches.

'Yeah. You could say that,' Rick said. He wrapped an arm around Carl and started towards the cell block.

He stopped when his eyes fell on Asha, leaning on the rail at the bottom of the stairs to the block. His smile faded and his eyes hardened.

Asha straightened up, crossing her arms across her chest.

'You're still here,' Rick said.

'Didn't want to leave without seeing your pretty face once more.'

_Shut up Asha, you idiot._

Rick was not amused. 'So you are leaving then?'

Asha was silent, eyes locked with Rick.

'Well?'

'Haven't decided.'

'Yeah, well I haven't decided about you either.' Rick rubbed a hand across the stubble on his jaw. 'Letting you stay means trusting you, even just a bit.' His flinty eyes had started burning. 'So I've got a few questions for you.'

Asha's eyes narrowed. She schooled her voice and face to stay calm. 'Shoot.'

'What did you do before the turn?'

_Really? _'Lawyer. Intellectual Property. Bunch of useless skills now.'

'Thought you were a bartender.'

Asha's lips flattened into a thin line. Of course Michonne and Maggie had filled him in. 'Had to pay bills whilst I was at law school.'

'Where were you headed with your brother?'

'Just following the river. Maybe down to West Point Lake. See if we could find a cabin or somethin' for the winter.'

'How did you lose him.'

'Herd. I swam across the river. As far as I can tell he was forced away from it in the other direction.' She swallowed. 'He'll come back to it though. It's the only place we have to find each other.'

'Tell me what happened to the group you were with at the start.

A muscle twitched in Asha's throat. _Shit._ 'Good people. We had a camp, a strong one. It was in an old industrial warehouse complex. Kept a lot of walkers out.' Asha wiped both hands down her face. 'It was more secure than anywhere else Nash and I had seen whilst we'd been on the road... It was back when all this started and morality still meant something. They were good people, they helped each other… Helped strangers.' Her eyes rolled around the group and settled on Hershel. 'They tried to build something.'

_We thought we were safe._

'What happened?'

Asha stared at Rick for a long moment. She thought about blaming it on a herd, but in the end she figured, what was the the point of lying about it? Her nails dug into her arms where they were crossed in front of her. 'They trusted the wrong people. They let the wrong people in, and those people opened the doors for worst type of people...The ones who think this world is made for the taking.'

It was Rick's turn to stare at Asha.

'It's dangerous to trust,' she admitted. _Please please don't press for details._ 'Nash and I didn't look for more people after that.'

Glen cut in sharply, 'but you approached Daryl and MERLE?'

Rick flashed an angry glare at Glenn for the interruption, but nodded to Asha to answer.

She forced a smile, directing her answer to Glenn. 'I saw them help a family being swarmed by deadheads on a bridge near the river.' She figured Merle could do with the positive press, so she left out the details. 'Didn't seem likely they were gonna hurt me after that...and I wasn't having much luck finding Nash on my own.'

'How many walkers have you killed?' Rick asked quietly.

Asha shrugged. 'A lot. Whatever it took to stay alive.' She thought about it for second. 'I must have killed, what, a dozen or so on the day I met these two.' She gestured with her head towards Daryl and Merle. 'That wasn't unusual.'

'How many people have you killed.'

Her throat constricted. 'Eight.'

'What about your brother?'

'Two,' she choked out. 'That I know of'.

'Why?'

Rick's question hung in the air.

Asha's whole body was shaking. She drew a deep breath trying to steady herself. 'Two, when our first group's camp was raided.' Her eyes flashed fiercely at Rick, 'and I only wish i'd gotten more. One, who tried to jump me on the river after I lost Nash.' Suddenly she couldn't breathe. The faces of the last five swam in her vision—their faces relaxed and glowing around the campfire when she'd finally caught up to them, and their faces when she had been done with them. 'Five,' she choked. 'Five, for what they did to my sister.'

She was bent over, braced on her knees, though she had no memory of moving. She lifted her head to spit venom at Rick, to ask if he was satisfied. He was a blur behind a veil of tears. She opened her mouth, but the only thing that came out was a long keening wail as her sister's pain bubbled up inside her. She choked it off as she sank to her knees on the ground.

Rick crouched down in front of her, and pulled her chin up to look him in the eye. She bared her teeth, blinking desperately to clear her tears. She tried to twist away, but he held her firmly.

'What happened to your sister Asha?'

She snarled. _Hell no._ She was not parading her sister's pain for him to see.

'Those men deserved what they got,' she hissed. 'In the same circumstances, I would do it again.'

Rick held her gaze for a long moment. 'So you will fight to protect your own,' he said quietly. His eyes were still hard, but they were the simple hardness of a man who had seen too much, rather than the half crazed burning Asha had come to associate with Rick. 'I am sorry for you, but I had to know.'

'Fuck you Rick,' she murmured quietly. She meant to spit it, and hated how broken her own voice sounded.

Rick just nodded silently and pushed himself to his feet. When he spoke, it was loud enough for everyone to hear. 'It's your call Asha. If you want to stay, I won't stop you. But if you do, then you need to really be with us. I expect you to treat this group like your family, like your brother. You do anything, _anything,_ to endanger the safety of this group and I will kill you myself.'

He started past her into the cell block.

Treat this group like her family... like Nash?

'Does that work both ways Rick,' she called after him, glad anger was burning in her voice again. 'Do you start putting my safety on par with everyone else in the group? Or do I stay a second class citizen?' She twisted around to look at him over her shoulder.

Rick fixed her with a cold eyed stare.

'What the hell are ya talking about?' Daryl snapped.

Asha could feel Merle standing a few paces behind her, frozen partway on his way towards her, but her attention was all on Rick. 'That first night, did you throw me in that cell with Merle as bait?'

Daryl's face twitched and his hands clenched, and Asha could feel the tension radiating from Merle. A ripple of surprise ran through the rest of the group.

Rick's eyes never left hers. He was quiet for a long moment, and when he spoke his voice was calm. 'If he couldn't control himself then yes, I wanted to know about it sooner rather than later.'

'You have got to be fucking kidding me,' Daryl muttered.

'And better me then one of your own right?' Asha said, still focused on Rick.

'Better an outsider than one of us. Always.' Rick responded.

Daryl scrubbed a hand through his hair and walked towards the cell block, muttering to himself. From the corner of her eye, Asha saw Merle give her a long look, before stalking after his brother.

Rick held her gaze a minute longer. 'But you earn your place, show you're really one of us, and yeah, you get the same protection as everyone else.'

Asha dropped her eyes and twisted around so her back was to Rick. She heard him move away, and the rest of the group started to follow. Carol squeezed her shoulder as she went past. Maggie paused next to her, arm wrapped around Glenn, his eyes sympathetic. 'You gonna come in?'

Asha gave her a small smile. 'In a minute or two.'

Maggie nodded and they walked on.

Asha waited until everyone's footsteps had faded away. She took a deep breath, relishing the solitude. She flipped over on her back, stretched out on the concrete, and looked up at the sky, peppered with stars and the light smears of galaxies. It was the same sky she'd seen on many camping trips before the turn, from places way out in the wilderness, places free from light pollution.

She traced her eyes across the familiar constellations, noting with half a mind their different location in the sky since she was further south than where she'd grown up. She found the north star easily. She could almost hear her father's calm, patient voice and see his flannel clad arm pointing skyward.

Asha had been about ten and they were camping. They lay on a picnic rug which Nash had spread out away from the glowing embers of their campfire. It was a still, clear night—perfect stargazing weather as her dad said. Asha lay on her back between Nash and her dad, their heads all close together, looking up into the the night sky. Asha was wearing her warmest gear and wrapped up in a sleeping bag as well, but it was still cold and Asha shivered.

'Ya alright kiddo?' Her dad asked softly, his breath frosting slightly in the air. He tipped his head to look at her with his warm brown eyes. She nodded quickly. No way she wanted to be sent back into the tent whilst Nash got to have all the fun.

'Ok,' he said quietly. 'What's that one over there, just above the tree line?' He pointed out to the left.

Asha's brow furrowed.

'Leo,' Nash leapt in. 'See, you can just make out the hook from its tail.'

Asha pouted. Nash was four years older than her and thought he was so smart. She knew Leo, with its tail like a backwards question mark. She would have remembered the name if she'd had a minute longer.

'Nice work, Nash,' her father approved. 'Alright Asha, what's that one?' He pointed a little higher in the sky.

'Dad, that's too easy,' she complained. 'That's the saucepan. Any baby knows that.'

He smiled. 'What are its other names.'

'Big Dipper, and, ah... Ursula...' She trailed off.

'Ursula!' Nash sniggered. 'Think ya mean Ursa Major silly.'

Asha stuck her tongue out at him.

'What ya gonna do about it Ash?' He poked her, eyes sparkling in the dim light. 'You're all cocooned like a caterpillar.' He poked her again. 'Totally helpless.'

'Stop it, Nash,' she squirmed. 'Dad!'

'Cut it out, Nash.'

Nash gave her a final poke and stopped.

'Alright than kiddo. Where's the north star?'

That was more like it. Asha pursed her lips and traced the outline of the saucepan, finding the side of the saucepan and then extending the line into the sky until she found it. 'There!' she said, wriggling until she had an arm free from the sleeping bag and pointing.

'Good girl Asha,' Her father's voice glowed with pride. He smiled at her and held her eyes. 'You remember these constellations kiddo, and you'll never be lost out here.' His strong calloused hand wrapped around her cold small one and squeezed gently. 'The stars will always help you find your way.' He gave her hand a final squeeze and then tucked it back into her sleeping bag.

'Righto Nash, show me Orion.'

Asha remembered drifting off to sleep that night, lulled by the quiet voices of her father and brother debating Orion's accuracy in identifying true west.

She blinked her eyes rapidly, focusing on the north star hanging in the sky above the prison. If only it was that easy. Her lips trembled.

_I am so lost dad. _

God how she missed them, both of them. Her father had been gone for nearly a decade, but the grief although dulled, was never gone, and Nash's absence simply pulled it to the surface.

Fighting the tightness in her chest, she tore her eyes away from the north star and scanned the rest of the sky. The lines of the constellations were unchanged from when she'd learnt them as a child, unchanged from when she and Nash had taught them to their sister after their father was gone.

_I've failed everyone dad, I don't know what I'm doing anymore._

She drew a shuddering breath, swollen throat aching. Her silent tears leaked down either side of her face and ran into her hair above her ears, but she kept her eyes open and fixed on the night sky.

She heard footsteps. Heavy, a man's footsteps. Merle she guessed, an instant before he appeared in her field of view, towering to a disproportionate height from her perspective laying on the ground. She blinked a couple of times to try to clear the tears from her vision as he sat down beside her, drawing his knees towards his chest and crossing his arms loosely on top of them.

'Here girly, reckon ya could do with finding that off switch in ya brain again tonight.' He held out an untidily rolled joint and lighter in his hand.

Asha gave a tiny smile. 'Ah Merle, you are a good man,' she said softly, reaching out gratefully.

He shifted uncomfortably. 'Dunno 'bout that.' Then his teeth gleamed at her in the darkness. 'Booze and drugs just happen to be my specialty. Ya know how damn hard it was to roll that thing with one hand?'

'I would have done it for you,' Asha said.

Merle grunted.

She lit the joint, pulling the sweet smelling smoke into her lungs, and then breathing smoky trails out into the night sky.

'Ya wanna talk about it?' Merle asked quietly.

'Nope.'

He nodded, and then lay back so that he was stretched out next to her on the ground. 'Pass that this way then.'

They lay in companionable silence, staring at the stars, as the smoke cast a glaze that took the edge off her pain. Eventually, Merle exhaled the last of the smoke and ground out the stub of the joint on the ground. He bent his arm and put his hand behind his head.

'Got a proposition for you, girly.'

Asha tilted her head towards him. They lay close together, and she could clearly see his rough hewn features in profile next to her. 'Really Merle? Again?'

He snorted, and then coughed a bit. 'Not that proposition woman. Ya got a damn one track mind.'

Asha grinned. 'Go on then.'

He was quiet for a minute, clenching his hand behind his head and gnawing the inside of his cheek as he kept his eyes on the sky. 'Stay,' he said finally.

She looked at him, mouth open in surprise. He rolled his head towards her and his eyes met hers. In the dim light, they were washed of all colour, but they gleamed faintly. 'Stay. Help sort this shit with the Governor, and i'll go out with ya and help looking for ya brother.'

Asha's heart started pounding. She pushed up on her elbow to look down at him. 'I know weed is technically a hallucinogenic, but I don't reckon we've smoked that much.' She swallowed hard. 'Did you really just say what I think you did?'

'Fuck woman, ya ain't gonna make me ask again.'

'Why? Why would you do that?'

Merle rubbed his hand tiredly across his face. 'I dunno how else this works,' he admitted. 'I ain't abandoning my brother, but living here, all cosy like with these people... I don't see how that's gonna work either.' He grimaced. 'They ain't bad people, hell, that might be the problem, the judgmental... Only matter of time till one of them pisses me off and I do something I shouldn't... Best thing is if i'm not here much. Enough to keep an eye on my brother, but not enough to…' He gestured vaguely with an arm.

For a minute Asha couldn't speak. Her stomach fluttered and her blood raced. She tried to sound calm. 'Makes sense I guess. Shit Merle, are you serious?'

'Ya said you were thinking about using this as a base right? I am a hell of a tracker. Taught Darylina everything he knows.'.

'You don't have to sell it to me, Merle.' She took a deep breath. 'I wouldn't be out there on my own...You've been there, you know what that means.' Her mind raced, and her heart threatened to beat its way out of her chest. Not on her own. Someone to watch her back. 'You reckon Daryl's gonna be ok with that?'

'He ain't my fucking keeper.'

_Nah, apparently that's my job._

'Hell, man likes to hunt.' Merle added. 'He'll probably come out on occasion with us.'

There was silence for a minute.

'Just survive the governor right?' Asha asked.

'Ain't abandoning my brother.'

She nodded. 'Wouldn't ask you to.' Her veins felt like they were vibrating and there was the makings of a grin on her face. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad being Merle's keeper...

'And least this way ya won't fuckin' starve.'

'Shut up Merle.'

'But I'll be making the decisions for us girly.'

'Like hell you will,' Asha said, rolling back on to her back and putting both of her hands to the sides of her mouth. 'But look at it this way big guy, between the two of us, it'll be the blind leading the fuckin' blind.'

Merle snorted.

Suddenly the night sky seemed to positively sparkle. Asha reached over and squeezed Merle's arm. 'Thank you,' she murmured.

Maybe they could keep each other.

* * *

**[So, thoughts?]**


	12. Chapter 12

**[A/N: Sorrowjunky and xxBlackfirexx, you guys are awesome! **

**Sorry its taken me a little longer than usual to update, this week just kinda got away from me. Also I realise that there have been more Asha and Merle moments than Asha and Daryl moments so far. I didn't initially plan on Merle having such a big part, but I feel like it fits with the present situation at the prison - and, to be honest, the more I wrote Merle, the more he grew on me. I hope you guys have been digging it too. **

**However, as I am a good few chapters ahead of you guys in this story, I assure you it does very much become Asha and Daryl focused.]**

* * *

The cell block was filled with the metallic click and shuffle of weaponry. Glenn had taken charge of fortifying the prison with the weaponry Rick and Michonne had gathered on the run. The contents of the black duffle bags had been upended on the table in the anteroom to cell block C, and Glenn divvied up ammunition and hardware and directed Maggie and Carl to stash them in strategic locations around the prison.

Asha and Michonne were working through the weapons checking for faults, detaching magazines and checking sights. The group had been a little surprised when Asha had stepped forward to help with that job, until she'd explained that there'd been a couple of army boys at her first camp, who had scavenged every bit of weaponry they could locate and had been willing to teach anyone who was interested. She was a pretty average shot, but it wasn't like a semi automatic needed the same precision as a hunting rifle.

The tension was palpable in the single minded focus with which everyone went about their jobs. Rick, Daryl and Hershel were out, meeting with the Governor. Andrea had shown up the night before, roaring through the walker filled yard in her borrowed car as Merle and Asha lay under the night sky. Asha vaguely recalled that Rick had been less than impressed that they were stoned, but his disapproval had mostly slipped off the outside of her smoky glaze. The Governor had agreed to talk, Andrea had set up a meeting. That morning, true to his word, Rick had gone out to meet him. Carol was on watch. That left Maggie, Glenn, Michonne and Merle effectively without supervision—a volatile mix that Asha had been watching brew all morning.

Merle was leaning against a post, wrapping another layer of gaffer tape around the knife strapped to his stump, growling irritably under his breath. He'd been pacing the cell block since Rick, Daryl and Hersel had left. He'd agreed—reluctantly and only at Daryl's insistence—not to go with them, that doing so would only aggravate the Governor and kill any chance of peaceful settlement.

He was obviously regretting that decision. Asha could see his temper building. From the sidelong glances the others in the room were giving him, they'd noticed too.

Merle tore off the end of the tape with his teeth and tugged on the blade with his good hand a few times to check it was attached securely. Then he kicked the unoffending roll of tape across the room, straight into the mismatched plates and bowls stacked on one of the shelves. They clattered to the floor. He glared around the room and the rest of the group looked back at him in silence.

Asha put down the gun she'd just finished checking. This was going to get out of control, she could feel it. He wasn't going to thank her for this—she felt a little knot in her stomach at that—but better to get it out in the open rather than have him lose it or do something reckless behind their backs. 'Spit it out Merle,' she said.

He glared at her.

'Whatever it is that's got your panties in such a twist.'

His eyes went flat.

_Least his attention's on me now._

'What we need to do,' Merle said, biting off the words. 'Is take some of these guns and pay a visit to the Governor. We know where he is right now.'

'Are you suggesting we should just go in and kill him?' Glenn asked.

'Yeah, I am.' Merle's voice was grim.

'We told Rick and Daryl that we'd stay put,' Michonne reminded him.

'I've changed my mind sweetheart. Bein' on the sideline with my brother out there, ain't sittin' right with me.'

'They're right in the middle of it.' Glenn said after a long moment. Asha could see the conflict on his face. 'No idea we're comin'. They could taken hostage or killed. A thousand things could go wrong.'

'And they will,' Merle snapped.

'My dad can take care of himself,' Carl asserted.

'Sorry son,' Merle drawled. 'But your dad's head could be on a pike real soon.'

'Merle!' Asha snapped. Carl snatched up a couple of boxes of ammunition and walked out of the cell.

'Don't say that to him,' Maggie said quietly.

Merle wiped a hand across his face. 'Bah.'

'It's not the right move, not now.' Glen said emphatically, eyes fixed on Merle. 'Can't take the risk of putting them in the crossfire. That's my decision, it's final.' He picked up an acetylene torch and headed towards the courtyard to work on the cage.

Merle snatched up a bag and began shoving guns and ammunition into it.

_Not good._

'Merle,' Asha said. She went to grab his arm, but he shook her off. 'Don't be an idiot.'

'You're not going.' Glenn had stopped near the courtyard door.

'I don't need permission,' Merle snarled.

'I can't let you.'

'You can't stop me'

'If you're gonna live here with us, its gonna be on our terms,' Maggie cut in. 'If Michonne can do it, why can't you?'

'Cause its my brother out there, that's why.' He looked around the group, eyes stopping on Asha. 'What's the matter with y'all?'

'I get it Merle,' she said quietly. 'I do, really. You know that.' She took a step towards him. 'But be smart about this.' She took another step forward as he slung the bag of guns across his shoulder, so that she was blocking his access to the stairs. 'Going in there, unexpected, You'll do more harm than good. You know that. Just think for a minute.'

Merle snarled and put a hand on her chest and shoved her—hard—out of the way. She staggered backwards, toppling over a discarded ammunition box and slamming into the stair rail. She grunted and pressed a hand to sudden flare of pain in her ribs.

Merle marched up the stairs, where Glenn still stood barring the door.

'I'm not gonna let you put them in danger,' Glenn ground out through grit teeth.

Merle took a step forwards, pressing his face forward into Glenn's space. 'Nut up already boy. This guy cops a feel of your woman and you're gonna pussy out like this? Get outta my way.'

'No.'

Merle snorted and half looked to the side. Asha could see what he was going to do before he did it, but she was too far away to reach him. Merle took a step forward to drive a shoulder into Glenn's chest, but Glenn was expecting him, and he launched forwards wrapping his arms around Merle. They tumbled down the stairs, struggling with arms locked around each other.

As they hit the ground, Asha launched herself onto Merle's back, ignoring the sharp pang in her ribs, wrestling to lock up one of his arms. Damn but he was a big man. Maggie was beside her, wrapping a chokehold around Merle's neck, whilst Michonne struggled with the other arm. Together they dragged him off Glenn, then froze as a gunshot cracked thunderously loud in the enclosed space. Asha peeked a stunned glance over her shoulder and saw Beth, face both furious and disgusted, handgun pointed at the ceiling.

Trapped between the three of them, Merle was breathing heavily—through Maggie's choke hold—eyes flashing. But he was still.

'We need Beth to put that gun on you, or are you gonna settle down?' Asha asked, as she yanked Merle's duffle bag of guns away from him.

'Ya'll are makin' a mistake,' he hissed.

She let him go and moved around in front of him. He peered at her across his nose, head still twisted up and sideways by Maggie's grip.

'Either we are, or you are,' she said, shaking her head a little sadly. 'But it's not your mistake to make.'

He was still angry, but she could see that some of the fight had gone out of his eyes—for now. 'Let him up' she said. 'He's gonna play nice now, aren't ya Merle.'

'Fuck you Asha.'

'Fine, stay there til you calm down.'

Merle continued to glare at her, but he stopped struggling. Asha nodded and they let him go. Jaw clenched, he pushed himself up, shouldered roughly past Asha and headed deeper into the cell block.

There was silence for a moment as those remaining traded glances.

'I don't like him wandering around on his own,' Glenn said.

'I'll keep an eye on him,' sighed Asha.

'You sure you're ok doing that?' Glenn asked. 'Don't reckon you're his favourite person right now.'

'Yeah, well,' she looked around at Glenn, Maggie and Michonne. 'No offense, but I'm probably still the best bet.' She shrugged and then winced at the pain in her ribs. 'And he owes me a damn apology for my ribs.'

'Daddy should have a look at ya when he gets back,' Beth said.

Asha waved her off. 'They're fine,' she said. 'Just a bruise I reckon.'

She set off after Merle, following him into the tombs.

She heard him before she saw him, drawn by the crashes and thuds as he vented his anger on the on the unoffending surroundings. Suddenly, ahead of her, an empty crate flew through out of a doorway and shattered against the opposite wall. Merle was swearing behind it.

'I would have thought most things were bolted down in a prison,' Asha said dryly. 'But you seem to be doing all right for this little temper tantrum of yours.'

'Get the hell away from me,' Merle snarled. He stormed past her, but only took two steps before spinning on his heel and coming back to face her.

'What the hell was that? You siding with those pussies. Took you all of two seconds to sell me out. Ya just tryin' ta get in good with the locals.'

'Hey,' Asha felt her own anger rising, and wished she didn't feel a twinge of hurt that Merle thought she'd betrayed him. 'That had nothin' to do with it. They happen to be right this time—it's just not the right move.'

He paced a couple of steps still snarling. 'I thought ya'd be on my side.'

'I am on your side.' She reached out a hand but he slapped her away. 'I am on the side of keeping you—and your damn brother—alive! Damn it Merle, you know I'm right.'

His jaw rippled as he paced past her.

She changed tack. 'Daryl won't thank you for showing up. Rick either.'

'Shut up. Ya don't know anything about me and my brother.'

'I know he wants you make things work with this group. Sometime that's gonna mean toeing the party line. Don't put him in the position of having to chose between you again.'

'Even if that means lettin' him get himself killed, that ain't a price i'm willing to pay.'

'So you're gonna go out there and increase the chances of that happening—cause in all probability that's what will happen if you go all rogue commando.'

'Don't tell me you be doin' any different if it were Nash.'

Asha took a deep breath. 'You're right. I would be doing exactly what you are doing. Exactly.' She put a hand out again to try to stop him pacing. 'And I honestly hope to god that there would be someone here with a brain to stop me.'

He paused, looking at her in disbelief. 'Bullshit.'

'You've got a blind spot when it comes to your brother Merle, same as me. But you gotta recognise that. You can't always listen to your gut when family's involved— ' She broke off suddenly, fighting down the image of faces that flashed in her mind.

Something of the intensity she was feeling must have been showing, because Merle took half a step back and looked at her carefully. 'What do you know about it?' He asked.

She felt pinned under that unexpectedly perceptive gaze and squirmed uncomfortably. 'Your judgment gets clouded,' she finished lamely.

He scrubbed his hand through his hair and then tipped his head back let loose a string of expletives.

Asha had to grin. He did know an impressive amount of swear words.

'I don't like this,' he fumed when he was abusing the ceiling.

'Obviously,' Asha said still grinning. 'But you don't have to. You just gotta accept that you don't really have any choice about it.'

'Fuck off. I could take all you pussies down if i needed too.'

'Maybe,' Asha shrugged, then winced as her ribs caught. 'But not without hurting some of us seriously' —more seriously than he already had anyway— 'and that sure as hell ain't gonna help you make things work with this group.'

He glared at her, but she had him there and he knew it.

* * *

**[A/N: Aiming to have the next one up quickly since i made you wait for this one.]**


	13. Chapter 13

**[A/N: Thanks for the reviews people! This one took a bit of wrestling, but think I've finally got it to a point where its ok. Let me know what you think.]**

* * *

'What the hell is that?' Glenn asked.

Asha had a neoprene glove on her left hand and was pulling a steel mesh glove over top. She pulled the strap around the wrist to secure it in place.

'Butcher's glove. Haven't you ever seen one before?'

Glenn shook his head.

She held her hand up and wriggled her fingers. 'Butcher's use 'em to make sure they keep all their fingers when they're chopping meat.'

Glenn arched a brow at her. 'Ok...Why?'

Asha grinned. 'You'll see when we get in the yard.'

Michonne had suggested that they use some of the razor wire around the prison to fortify the yard, in case the Governor planned to repeat his trick of charging down the gate with a vehicle. The group had been quick to adopt the suggestion. Turned out none of them held out much hope that Rick would be returning with a peaceful resolution. Fortifications made sense. As Michonne had said, they didn't necessarily have to win, they just had to make the Governor's getting at them more trouble than it was worth. They had spent most of the afternoon securing long coils of razor wire to strips of wood, and the light was beginning to fade as they gathered in the courtyard preparing to lay them out in the yard.

Asha tossed her spear gun into back of the silvery dual cab, next to the long rolls razor wire, then settled herself on the tailgate. Michonne took a spot on the other side of the tailgate. 'Ready when you are Glenn,' Asha called.

'Let's give Carol and Merle another minute,' he said. 'Don't wanna have to deal with any more dead then we have to.'

Asha glanced across the yard to where Merle and Carol were in the dog run, yelling and rattling the chain link fence in order to draw the attention of the walkers still flooding the yard. They had the attention of most of them, although there were still a few stragglers scattered across the yard, and they were stabbing them through the chain link—taking advantage of the easy kills offered as the dead massed against the fence.

'Right,' Glenn said after a moment. 'Let's do this.' He climbed in behind the steering wheel, waved at Maggie who pulled open the gate and the dual cab lurched out into the yard. Glenn drove out in a wide loop in around the yard before circling back to the drive and pulling up near the flattened gate, garnering the attention of a handful of straggling walkers as they went. Three were coming up on Asha's side of the truck and four on Michonne's, and a thin scattering beyond that had turned in their direction, but fortunately most of the dead remained focused on Merle and Carol.

Asha pushed herself off the tailgate, leaving her spear gun and reaching for her knife. From the corner of her eye she saw Michonne leap from the truck, katana whirling.

The closest deadhead surged towards her, teeth gnashing through stripped back flesh, filling Asha's nose with the stench of putrefaction. She bared her own teeth and slapped her gloved hand palm down on the deadhead's face, ignoring the harmless scrabbling of its teeth against the stainless steel mesh. Then she wrenched its head back and drove her knife up through the soft flesh under its jaw and into its brain. The creature went limp as the tip of her knife crunched home and slumped to the ground as she quickly drew the blade out. She turned to the two remaining walkers, dealing with the closest in the same way. Then she curled her gloved hand into a fist and swung it backhanded across the face of the last walker, driving her knife through it's exposed temple as its head swung to the side.

Breathing a little heavily, she shook most of the gore off the butcher's glove and wiped her blade off on the grass before turning back to the truck. Michonne was waiting at the tail gate. They took hold of either end of one of the long pieces of wood to which they'd secured the razor wire and pulled it out of the tray back. They dragged it towards the edge of the road, leaving it there for the moment since there was no use blowing the tyres out of the vehicle which Daryl, Hershel and Rick returned in. Which would be any time now. She realised she was looking at the flattened gate and dragged her eyes away as she climbed back into the tray back.

They stopped and repeated the process a couple more times along the drive—taking out a few more walkers who got too close—leaving some coils on the side of the road, to be dragged across it later, and hiding others in the grass on either side. Eventually, they pulled the last coil from the truck. Asha staggered a little as she took its weight. It wasn't heavy as such, just awkward to carry with the coils of wire protruding from it. They took a couple of steps and Asha's grip slipped as a sudden pain shot through her ribs. The wood hit the ground and Michonne stumbled at the other end for a second.

'Shit, sorr,' Asha cursed, sucking her finger where she'd jagged herself a splinter. She bent to pick up the length of wood, exhaling sharply through her teeth at the pain stabbing through her ribs.

'Alright?' Michonne asked.

'Just fine,' Asha hissed, jaw clenched. She wrapped her hands around the wood and they deposited it at the edge of the road. They leapt into the back of the dual cab—well, Michonne leapt, Asha managed a half assed kind of roll with one hand wrapped around her rib cage. Michonne pounded on the cab roof, and they roared back towards the prison courtyard.

They had a good view of the flattened gate from back of the dual cab, and Asha noticed Michonne was looking at it too. The dread locked woman looked away as soon as she realised Asha had seen her.

Asha forced a smile. 'Any time now.'

Michonne nodded, then hesitated. 'Thanks for the help with Merle this morning.'

Asha arched an eyebrow. 'Thanks for yours...and not pulling your sword on his stupid ass.'

Michonne nodded.

Maggie had been watching and had the gate ready. The dual cab lurched over the grate and into the courtyard and the gate was quickly chained shut as they rumbled to a stop. Glenn climbed out of the cab. 'Nice glove,' he called to Asha. Then he jogged over to Maggie and they headed back into the guard tower to resume their watch.

Asha levered herself gingerly towards the end of the tray. Michonne hadn't moved, and there was an awkward silence as she frowned, eyes flickering between Asha and the flattened main gate. 'Atlanta' she said eventually.

Asha's brow furrowed. 'Umm, sorry? That one went by me a little too fast.'

'Where I was,' the dark skinned woman said. 'Before all this.'

Asha nodded, sensing for an instant how difficult volunteering that information had been for the reticent woman. 'Atlanta's a big place, anywhere more specific.'

Michonne's face closed over, but then she grimaced for a second and answered. 'Brookhaven. I was an art dealer.'

'No shit? That is impressive.'

Michonne gave a tiny shrug, but a fleeting expression of loss ran across her face.

'So, what were you doing before you met Andrea?' Asha asked.

Michonne's eyes flashed at her and her lips compressed into a thin line.

Asha grinned. 'Oh come on, you didn't let me off light.'

Michonne's jaw tightened and she shook her head.

'Righto then,' Asha shrugged. She got carefully out of the tray back and reached for her spear.

'You any good with that thing?' Michonne asked.

Asha bit her lip and then gave a small nod. 'Wouldn't have survived long on my own if I wasn't.' She gestured with her head towards Michonne's katana. 'Don't have to ask you. I saw you in the yard, saving Hershel, the first day I arrived.'

Michonne shrugged a little. 'Like you said, you don't survive long on your own otherwise.'

Asha slung her spear across her back, keeping her free hand pressed to her ribs.

'I was on my own before Andrea.' Michonne said, unexpectedly. 'For a long while.'

Asha waited patiently, as Michonne swallowed, hesitating. 'I was just...wandering,' she said eventually. 'I know what it's like to be out there alone.'

Asha nodded, throat suddenly tight. Michonne's eyes, beyond the defensiveness, were shadowed with pain.

'So what happens when this is all done?' Asha asked. 'You go back? You and Andrea?'

Michonne looked around, eyes unreadable as they roamed across the prison walls and the yard, the walkers starting to mill about the yard again since Carol and Merle had abandoned their efforts at distraction. She snorted and shook her head. 'Back where? Andrea will want to stay. I...' She shrugged. 'This group's alright I think.'

Asha pursed her lips. 'Hmmm. They seem to have warmed up to you.'

Michonne's mouth quirked and she nodded noncommittally.

'Any tips with that?'

'Don't show up with Merle?'

Asha glanced across the courtyard to where Merle was holding open the door at the base of the corner guard tower to let Carol out of the dog run. He said something—too far away for Asha to make out his words—but Carol rolled her eyes and smiled as she shook her head. Not that she held it against any of the others, but Asha was glad that Carol, at least, seemed to be willing to give Merle half a chance.

Asha snorted. 'Showed up with Daryl too remember?'

'Maybe stop picking fights with Rick?'

Asha grunted. That would be the smart thing to do, but it wasn't that she was deliberately trying to aggravate him. He just put her on edge and her instincts were to fight back.

They started back towards the cell block. Michonne looked at her from the corner of her eye as they walked. 'Overheard Daryl talking to Rick yesterday. Reckons you'll pull your weight if you do stay.'

Asha shrugged. She'd always pulled her own weight. The end of the world hadn't changed that.

Michonne grabbed her by the arm to stop her, her dark eyes catching the last rays of sunlight and practically glowing. 'Besides, don't tell me you want to go back out there alone?'

'No one wants to go back out there alone,' Asha said quietly. 'Especially those of us who have done it already.' She held Michonne's gaze a long moment. 'Merle's been out there on his own too remember?'

* * *

Rick, Daryl and Hershel returned to the prison not long after dark. Asha was helping Carol prepare dinner, and the older woman froze with a sharp intake of breath when Rick and Hershel came in through the cell block door. Asha, watching from the corner of her eye, noted that it wasn't until Daryl followed them in that Carol let out a quick sigh and resumed preparing the food. Merle quickly appeared by his brother's side and clapped him around the back of the neck, his relief obvious in the sudden relaxation of the tightness around his eyes.

Rick called them all into the open space in front of the cells to hear his report. Maggie and Glenn were called in from watch. Rick wanted everyone to hear what he had to say. They waited in silence, the air so taut with anxiety it felt sharp to breath.

Rick seemed oblivious for the moment, leaning against the rail at the bottom of the stairs, cradling baby Judith in his arms and crooning softly to her. Asha studied him, trying hard to see what Daryl, Hershel and the others saw in him—what she suspected that even Merle thought was in Rick. That he was someone worth following, that could keep them alive, and that was worthy of their loyalty. The regard the group had for Rick was obvious—even if they were treating him a little carefully at the moment—and logic told her that it was unlikely that the whole group was mistaken about him being worthy of that regard. Even Michonne seemed to have warmed to him following their run out to King County together.

Asha hadn't had much opportunity to watch Rick with members of the group since joining them. He'd been away a lot, or hidden in the bowels of the prison. But watching him with his daughter now, she knew he wasn't fundamentally a bad guy. He seemed fairly capable, and he had kept the group alive and together this far. Yeah, they'd lost people, but the fact that the group wasn't broken and scattered across the state meant they were doing better than most other groups Asha had seen. It wasn't that she doubted that he had it in him to make the tough calls needed to survive, and from what the others had said, he didn't make those calls lightly.

She just couldn't bring herself to trust it. There was something in his eyes, something that burned, that kept her guard up. Maybe it was just that she didn't know him as well as the others, and that, admittedly, Rick wasn't at his best at the moment. Maybe it would come with time. What scared Asha, deep to her core, was the thought that what she saw in Rick was a reflection of what was writhing in her own soul. She wouldn't trust herself to lead these people, so she was finding it hard to trust Rick.

Rick raised his face from Judith, and looked around the room, meeting the eyes of everyone present. The air near hummed with anticipation. 'So, I met this Governor.' Rick said calmly. 'Sat with him for quite a while.'

'Just the two of ya?' Merle cut in.

Rick nodded.

'Shoulda gone while we had the chance bro,' Merle said to Glenn, brushing past him to stand near the back of the group with Asha.

Rick looked around the group again. His voice was quiet, but no less intent for that. 'He wants the prison. Wants us gone... Dead...' He looked down at baby Judith cradled in he arms, and then back up again. 'He wants us dead. For what we did to Woodbury.' There was beat. 'We're going to war.'

There was a long silence whilst that sunk in. Asha looked around the room. Mouths were tight, hands white where they clenched furniture or each other, but their faces were all determined—even Beth and Carl's. There was a gleam in Michonne's eye and Daryl's face was resolute. Asha couldn't help but be impressed by the lack of panic in the room. It wasn't till her eyes fell on Merle, standing next to her, his mouth pressed into a grim line and his eyes shadowed, that her own stomach did a nervous flip.

She turned back and her eyes met Rick's, dark and burning.

'Time to make a call Asha. If you stay then you're with us. If not, then you leave right now.'

Asha pulled her arms across her body, rubbing her upper arms with her palms. She still hadn't made a decision, she'd been avoiding it, truth be told. She looked around the group again. Carol and Maggie gave her small smiles and Hershel nodded. Merle was behind her, but she didn't need to see him to know he wanted her around. Daryl chewed his bottom lip, but his eyes held hers for a moment and she thought he wanted her to stay too—though for herself or just his brother, she still wasn't sure. Rick's face was unreadable, but she supposed that was an improvement on open hostility.

As she looked around, she realised that all of the people here were—more or less—what they appeared to be. There was no hidden agenda. Rick's mental state and Merle's attitude aside, they were all pretty much functional and looking out for each other—living in each other's pockets as they were, she felt fairly sure of that. Her breath caught as she realised just how rare that had become.

And it was close to the river, and Merle would come looking for Nash with her...

She drew in a deep breath, taking in the row of expectant faces waiting for her answer.

'Stop lookin' so nervous,' Merle growled behind her. He draped a heavy arm across her shoulders. 'She's stayin'.'

Asha arched her brow as she looked at him. His eyes narrowed for a second, daring her to contradict him, but also—she thought—shadowed for a second with the fear that she might. The corner of her mouth pulled up in a smile. 'Yeah,' she said turning back to the group. 'I'm in.'

She was met with smiles and nods from the group, and Merle's arm tightened around her for an instant before he let her go. Even Rick smiled tightly, though it didn't reach his eyes.

* * *

Later that evening, Asha stood in one of the cells—her cell. With assurances that the door didn't need to be locked, she'd moved her scant belongings out of the space she'd been sharing with Merle and into a vacant cell. She picked one on the upper level, with a couple of empty spaces between her and Michonne, who had the next one.

She craned her neck to look over her shoulder into the tiny dirty mirror bolted to the wall, carefully easing up her singlet up over her ribs and tucking it into her bra. A mottled blue and purple bruise covered the back of her rib cage and spread under her left arm around to the front. She winced as she explored the tender area with tentative fingers.

Daryl's voice sounded from the doorway. 'Glenn told me 'bout Merle earlier, and what ya did— ' He cut off abruptly as he registered what she was doing. There was a flash of embarrassment across his face, but it was quickly replaced with anger. 'What the hell?' He clamped a hand on her shoulder and turned her so he could see her better in the faint light from the hurricane lamp. 'Merle,' he hissed through his teeth, and started straight for the door.

Asha grabbed his arm, freezing him in his tracks. 'Don't,' she said quietly. 'He didn't mean it—and it's not helping him with the group if you make an issue about it.'

Daryl's jaw rippled, but after a moment he nodded. 'Hershel still oughta look at ya.'

Asha shook her head. 'I don't really want to have to explain this.' Even just Hershel knowing wasn't going to do Merle any good. She was sure Daryl was thinking the same thing.

He grunted, but didn't push it. 'Just bruised?'

'Dunno.' Her fingers went back to her rib cage. 'Mostly, I think.' She traced the gap between her bottom two ribs on her left side. 'But every now and then, there's sharp pain— ' she winced as her fingers found the spot '—here.'

Asha was surprised when Daryl brushed her hand out of the way and ran his own calloused fingers down the ribs she'd been touching, gently at first and then a little more firmly until Asha's flinch told him he'd found the right spot.

'Cracked I reckon,' he said. 'Hurt like that anywhere else?'

Asha shook her head.

'How about when ya take a deep breath.'

She took one, gritting her teeth slightly as the tender spot pulled.

'Nope, just that one spot.' She smiled a little bemused.

'What?' He shrugged, dropping his hands. 'I've had cracked ribs before. Oughta strap em. It'll help with the pain.'

'Was gonna,' she said, stepping over to the bunk and picking up a bandage she'd pinched from the stash of medical supplies earlier on. She started awkwardly wrapping it around her ribs. 'You started saying something before?'

'Wanted ta thank ya for helping with Merle earlier, him wantin' to come after us. Glenn said ya helped stop him, talked him down…' He snorted. 'Was gonna say without him hurtin' anyone, but obviously that ain't the case.'

'You're welcome,' Asha said, then cursed as she dropped the end of the unevenly wrapped bandage. The whole thing started unravelling and she cursed again as she instinctively slapped a hand to her ribs trying to catch the material.

'He didn't mean it.' She repeated, trying to recover the end of the bandage. Daryl snorted, and recovered the bandage for her, waving her hand off as she tried to take it off him. He started wrapping the bandage around her ribs.

'He apologised yet?'

'No.' She hadn't pushed him to, to be honest. 'But don't worry, I'll make him.'

Daryl grunted.

'Daryl, really, it's not that big a deal.'

He finished up with the bandage and she gingerly pulled her singlet back down. 'Thanks,' she said, and then she smirked at him. 'Maybe your brother wanted to see if it really was that easy to break me in two.'

Daryl snorted. 'Hell, if Merle wanted to break you in two, you'd be in two.'


	14. Chapter 14

**[A/N:Thanks to all the new followers and favourites! Always give me a bit of a pick up to see those numbers creeping up. Biggest thanks to the reviewers of course, especially SorrowJunky, Leyshla Gisel, and Kyokkou- it's so good to hear what you're enjoying about this story. Personally, I'm happy people seem to be liking 'Asha the Merle whisperer' (thanks SorrowJunky)—and Kyokkou, guess you'll have your answer pretty soon about whether or not I'm going to stay canon with Merle.**

**Also, I have a fairly thick skin, so— so long as you aren't nasty about it— if I'm doing something that you don't think works (either plot, characterisation or technical writing skills wise), feel free to let me know.**

**I kinda dig this chapter though, so hope you guys do too.]**

* * *

Asha walked quietly in the tombs. It was eerie in the silence, the long halls dank and dim in the half light that managed to filter through the limited barred windows. The air was stale, as though the place had been abandoned for millennia rather than the twelve months or so since the turn. Without too much effort, Asha could easily imagine she was the last person alive. She shivered.

She was looking for Merle. He often slunk off down here to get away from everyone, she suspected he sought out the eerie solitude of the place. Based on his attitude when she'd seen him earlier that morning, he was definitely in the mood for solitude at the moment.

Asha still wasn't quite sure what had happened. Somehow, she'd managed to sleep in, and when she'd woken in her own cell, ribs stiff and aching, she had decided it really was time to go push Merle for an apology. Although she had been comforted by his obvious support the night before, the nasty aftertaste from their fight yesterday still hadn't washed entirely away—and Asha had been surprised to find that that bothered her. She had been pretty sure she could count on Merle's mercurial temper to have forgotten all about it—particularly since Daryl had made it back ok. No harm no foul, right? But still, she had known she'd feel better after they'd had a friendly encounter to help put it behind them.

She had found him in his cell, the furthest on the upper level, as far away from the group as he could get without actually being in another cell block. And he had been pissed. He was muttering under his breath as he upended his pack and shook out its contents onto the bunk. Asha thought she caught the word 'fire', but it could just have easily been 'wire' or 'tyre.'

'Fuck off,' he snapped when he saw her leaning against the door. Not the warm welcome she was after, but she persisted.

'Well good morning to you too sunshine,' she quipped, hoping to diffuse his mood. When he ignored her she kept on—filling in his side of the conversation when didn't respond.

'So how'd ya sleep in your new deluxe surrounds?…Oh, fine thanks Asha, thanks for asking. How 'bout you?...Oh yeah, great. Definite improvement on the floor. Except for some reason I have these damn aching ribs. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that would ya?'

Merle stopped rummaging through the items scattered across the bed and turned to her. 'What d'ya want Asha?'

His tone was bitter and there was such anger and loss in his eyes that she forgot all about her apology.

'Can I help?' She asked quietly.

He turned back the bunk. 'No'

'Come on Merle.' She reached out a hand to touch his shoulder.

He spun on her. 'Get the hell away from me Asha.'

She flinched back. 'What the hell, Merle? What's going on?'

He rubbed a weary hand through his silver hair. 'Just..Ya watch yourself around these people.'

Her brow furrowed. 'Whatd'ya mean?'

He was silent.

'Merle, what do you mean? Thought our side was the good guys, right?'

'There ain't no good people left,' he said bitterly.

'Even Daryl?' Asha pushed.

'Never said my brother was good,' Merle snapped. 'He always was the sweet one, sure...But that ain't the same thing.' He turned his back to her. 'Just go the fuck away, Asha. I ain't want ya around.'

She tossed her hands up in frustration. 'Fine Merle... whatever. Like you fucking know the difference between good and bad any more anyway.'

'What,' he spun on her angrily, nose flaring and eyes flat. 'Ya think ya one of the good ones? Whatd'ya do that drove your brother off?'

Asha's jaw dropped and she took a step back.

'Oh yeah girly, I figured that one out.' His mouth twisted and he jabbed her shoulder with his index finger. 'Ya didn't lose him. Ya did something so bad he up and left ya—and in this shit storm of a world that's saying something.'

Asha had stopped breathing, her hand's white and clenched tight against her stomach as she looked at him wide eyed. He wasn't quite on the mark, but he was close enough to hurt.

He stepped closer, looming above her, his breath harsh on her face. 'I've seen you Asha, seen the look in ya eyes when ya thought we were between you and Nash...Whatever ya did, ya'd do it again if ya thought it'd help ya.' He leant close, blue eyes broken and seething and hissed in her face. 'There ain't no good ones left—you, Daryl and this whole damn group included.'

Asha had turned and fled.

That had been a low blow, even for Merle. Asha had first been shocked, then angry. But now that her initial reaction had faded, she was mostly just hurt. Odd as it was to realise it, of the group, Merle was the person she was closest too, and it hurt that he had turned on her like that.

But she was worried too.

The conversation played over and over in her head. Merle was volatile for sure, but he had never been that vicious to her before. The more she thought about it the more certain she was that something specific had set him off. She didn't think that she had ever seen him this raw, even when she'd snuck up on him and Daryl in the woods right after the bridge. Half the morning had passed, but she hadn't been able to shake her unease. After pacing the cell block a while, she'd eventually given up and gone to find him. She wasn't really sure what she was going to do when she did find him, but was resolute that she couldn't leave things the way they were between them—even if she had to provide a full explanation of what had happened with Nash. Her stomach turned, but she grimly repressed her misgivings at the thought.

'Merle?'

She jumped as Daryl's voice echoed out of the corridors in front of her. _Maybe he'd had a run in with Merle this morning too._

'Merle, you down here?'

Asha started towards Daryl's voice.

'Merle!'

Asha was about to call out to Daryl herself—since it's never a good idea to sneak up on someone who customarily carries around a loaded crossbow—when she heard Merle answer.

'Hey little brother.' The drawl was back in his voice. They were somewhere up ahead, still out of sight. Asha heard Daryl respond, but couldn't quite make out the words.

'I was just about ta holler back at ya,' Merle said.

They were in the boiler room. Asha sidled up to the door, staying out of sight. She grimaced. She seemed to be making a habit out of listening in on people lately—these two in particular.

'Whatd'ya doin' down here?' Daryl asked.

'Looking for a little...ah... crystal, man.' There was false bravado in Merle's tone. 'Yeah, I know. I shouldn't mess my life up when everything's goin' so sweet, right?' Asha could almost feel the smirk dripping off Merle's words.

She heard the soft sounds of someone pacing, Daryl she guessed. 'Ya talk to Rick yet?'

'Yeah, oh yeah... I'm in.' Merle paused. 'But he ain't got the stones for it...He's gonna buckle, ya know that right?'

Daryl was still pacing. 'Yeah, well...if he does he does.'

'Ya want him to?'

There was a telling silence.

'Whatever he says goes,' Daryl said eventually.

'Man, do you even possess a pair of balls, little brother?' Merle jeered. 'Are they even attached? I mean, if they are, they belong to you...Ya used to call people like that sheep. What happened to ya?'

'What happened with you and Glenn?' Daryl retorted. 'Maggie?'

'I've done worse,' Merle said without hesitation.

Asha's skin crawled at the flatness in his voice.

'Ya need to grow up,' Merle continued bitterly. 'Things are different now. Ya people look at me like I'm the devil...grabbin' up those little birds like that. Now y'all want to do the same damn thing I did. Snatch someone up and deliver 'em to the Governor, just like me.'

Asha's heart seized in her chest as Merle's words sunk in.

'Hell, people do what they gotta do, or they die.' Merle said.

'Ya can't do things without people any more man,' Daryl said quietly.

Merle snorted. 'Maybe these people need somebody like me around huh? Do their dirty work? Be the bad guy? Maybe that's how it is now.' There was something vicious and desperate and rancorous in his voice. 'How's that hit ya?'

'I just want my brother back.'

'Get outta here man,' Merle snapped, his voice breaking slightly.

Asha quickly flattened herself behind the door. There was moment's hesitation, then Daryl passed silently through the door and disappeared down the corridor.

_Breathe Asha. _White spots had started appearing in front of her eyes as she subconsciously held her breath. Her whole body was tense, hands gripping her thighs, nails digging in through her jeans. Her mind reeled trying to absorb what she'd just heard. They were going to give someone up, to trade one of their own to the Governor. _Michonne._ It had to be. The Governor wasn't interested enough in anyone else for a trade to be worthwhile—except maybe Merle or Rick, and they were obviously both in on this plan.

Asha bit the inside of her cheek, considering just walking away, pretending she hadn't heard what she'd just heard. She wasn't the damn leader of this group and she didn't want to be making decisions about other people's lives.

But then her stomach roiled as Rick's hypocritical words played back through her mind— _earn your place_..._one of us_... Her lips drew back in a snarl. She was suddenly furious, at Rick the unworthy lying bastard that these people trusted to keep them safe, at Daryl and Merle for going along with him—even if Daryl was obviously hoping he wouldn't go through with it—and at the whole damn world for becoming such a sick and twisted place. She tasted bile in her throat. She was bitter that her lack of trust in Rick had been validated, and, she was even more bitter to realise, that some tiny part of her had been hoping Rick was what everyone thought, that he was better than she was. That part of her felt horribly betrayed. She hissed through her bared teeth, pried her fingernails out of her legs, and clenched her hands into fists to try to still their shaking. Then she slipped quietly away from the door and went looking for Michonne.

* * *

An hour or she was charging frantically back into the boiler room. She hadn't been able to find Michonne...and then she hadn't been able to find Merle. At first she hadn't been worried—because she'd seen Rick and Daryl out in the courtyard helping Glenn reinforce part of the gate and knew they'd be tied up for a while. Stupidly, she'd thought that meant their plan hadn't been put into action yet. But as she'd searched, little snippets of the conversation she'd overheard, and the conversation she'd had with Merle in his cell, played over in her head.

_He ain't got the stones… _

_Maybe these people need someone like me…_

_There ain't no good people left._

She had a sick feeling in her stomach. Sick enough that she'd detoured past her cell block and slung her spear across her back as she searched. He'd done something stupid. She just knew it.

Daryl and Rick looked up in shock as she hurtled into the room. She pulled up short, out of breath, eyes darting nervously between them.

'You seen Merle,' Rick demanded, taking a step towards her. Her stomach dropped. _Too late._

'No,' she gasped, 'and I can't find Michonne either.'

Rick and Daryl both spun on her.

'What the hell do ya know about it?' Daryl growled, appearing suddenly in her face without seeming to cross the intervening distance.

Asha planted the heel of her palm on his chest and shoved back hard. 'I know the three of you were planning to give her up to the Governor.'

Daryl snarled at her.

'How could you do that?' she hissed.

'We're not.' Rick said.

'Bullshit,' Asha snapped. She gestured at Daryl. 'I heard you down here talking to Merle earlier.'

Rick glared at her. 'We were. We ain't.' He turned to Daryl. 'You talked to him about it?'

Daryl turned a couple of paces. 'Yeah. He said a lot of things.'

'Like what?' Rick cut in.

'Like ya didn't have the stones to go through with it,' Daryl grunted, pacing again.

'He's taken her,' Asha said. 'Merle,' she added unnecessarily, even though she knew from the quick look Daryl and Rick shared that they'd already reached the same conclusion.

'I'm going after him,' Rick said.

Daryl shook his head, still pacing. 'Ya can't track for shit.' He started for the external exit at the back of the room.

'Well, then the both of us,' Rick said.

'Nah, just me. I said I'll go and I'll go. 'Sides, when we come back, ya need to be ready.' He pushed the door open. 'Ya family too,' he mumbled. Rick nodded.

Asha didn't say anything, but she followed Daryl to the door.

'Hell no,' Daryl hissed.

'Not askin',' she said, pushing past him.

'Take her,' Rick said. 'I'll feel better if you've got an extra set of hands.' Asha's eyes flashed to Rick's in surprise, then she nodded tightly.

Daryl's mouth twisted sourly.

'We don't have time to argue about it,' Asha said.

'Ya best keep up.' He shoved her out into the sunlight and slammed the door behind them.

'We don't need to track him,' Asha said. 'You know where the handover was supposed to happen right?'

Daryl nodded.

'So let's take the bike. You want to catch them right?'

Before she'd finished speaking, Daryl grasped her arm and directed her at a jog in the direction of the courtyard where the bike was stored.

* * *

**[A/N: So, I am curious to know whether or not the changing tense around the flashback to Asha and Merle's argument in the first part of this chapter was confusing to read? In my head, the chapter picks up with Asha wandering the tombs, she then starts thinking about the argument she had with Merle and we drop into flashback mode to actually hear the argument. The flashback ends when Asha flees Merle's cell, and then there is a bit of exposition as to why Asha is looking for Merle, before Daryl's voice pulls us back into action in the present. Of course, i know this is how i wanted it to read - but did it actually come across that way?]**


	15. Chapter 15

Not five miles from the prison they found Michonne, katana in hand, dispatching a deadhead as she walked along the side of the road in front of a semi residential area. She was headed in the direction of the prison. Daryl pulled the bike up beside her.

'Ya kill him?' He shouted over the roar of the engine.

Michonne shook her head. 'He let me go'.

Before Asha realised what was happening, Daryl had kicked out the stand and was manhandling her off the bike.

'Hey,' she protested. His eyes were dark, mouth set in a thin line. She tried to push his arms away, but he quite firmly moved her in the direction of Michonne— before her heel caught and she was suddenly on her ass on the ground, one hand pressed to her injured ribs.

'Don't let anyone come after me,' Daryl said, before revving the engine and tearing away.

Asha and Michonne watched in silence as he disappeared over a rise in the road, the roar of the bike trailing after him. For a long moment after there was quiet, broken only by the sound of the gentle breeze rustling in the overgrown grass and neglected gardens in front of the houses. Asha watched the fallen leaves on the tarmac, still fluttering in the bike's wake.

'Reckon he'll catch him?' she asked.

Michonne shook her head. 'He's been gone a while.'

Asha's forehead creased. 'Crazy bastard's gonna get himself killed. He tell you what he was planning?'

Michonne snorted. 'That crazy fucker doesn't know himself what he's gonna do from one moment to the next. Besides, we didn't really chat.' Her mouth twisted. 'This isn't the first time he's tried to kill me.'

Asha looked at her sharply. 'But he didn't go through with it. Wasn't even his idea this time. Rick made the call.' Her earlier anger at Rick came flooding back. 'How could he do that? He's supposed to be keeping the group safe.' She shook her head. 'How can they trust him to be in charge?'

Michonne arched an eyebrow at her. 'Rick changed his mind—and before Merle did, by the way...And I'm not part of the group, not really. Not yet. He _was_ trying to keep the group safe.' She shrugged and looked off into the distance. 'Decisions like that are what it takes to lead people sometimes these days.'

'So if Rick had handed you over you would have been ok with that?' Asha was incredulous.

'Of course not. But in the end, that's not the call he made.'

Asha frowned. 'Daryl didn't think he'd go through with it. But from what I gather Rick's changed a lot since all this started.' It still bothered her that Rick had thrown her in with Merle as bait. 'Dunno if I'd be trusting his moral compass anymore, it seems a bit warped these days.'

'Different world, and you've known Rick for what, five minutes? Michonne gave Asha a long look. 'I get why he had to consider it. Don't tell me that you don't.'

What galled Asha was that she did. Deliver up a virtual stranger to die in exchange for the safety of her family—or in her case, the return of her brother? Her throat tightened and for a second she couldn't breathe. Oh god, what she wouldn't give to have Nash back. Her stomach ached at the thought. She couldn't even pretend to herself that she wouldn't have considered it. Hell, she wasn't sure that she would have pulled back from going through with it doing it the way Rick—and Merle—had. That thought made her blood turn to ice.

Her shoulders slumped. 'Damn it,' she muttered. She looked down at the ground. 'I knew they were handing you over.'

Michonne looked at her sharply.

'I overhead Daryl talking to Merle about it.' She rubbed the back of her hand across her forehead as she looked up at Michonne. 'I went looking for you, but you and Merle were already gone.' She waved a hand quickly in Michonne's direction. 'I'm not trying to suggest you owe me or anything, just because I say I was going to help. I just didn't want to cover up the fact that i knew.'

Michonne was quiet for a moment, then said knowingly. 'So you considered it too—'

'And decided against Rick,' Asha retorted.

'Why?'

Asha looked Michonne in the eye. 'Two reasons. Merle's told me about the Governor. He wants to get hold of you alright, but that wouldn't have held him off in the long run. When he was done with you, he would have come back for the rest of us. Handing you over would have been a waste of time. I think Merle thought that too.' She shook her head, puzzled. 'I still don't really get why he brought you out here knowing that.'

'Wasn't really about me,' Michonne said. 'Merle thought that if he did this for the group, they'd start letting him back in, even if it was just as the guy who does the dirty jobs.'

Asha 's brow furrowed slightly, but she couldn't detect any real malice in Michonne's voice as she offered her assessment of Merle.

'What was the second reason?'

'If it was me I'd want to know.'

* * *

Asha drove her spear through the skull of the deadhead sprawled on the ground, cutting it off mid snarl, and then spun quickly to check behind her. She could see a couple of walkers in the field across the road, but they seemed unaware of her for the moment. There were five or six houses along the stretch of road, most with doors kicked in and windows broken. Even if they hadn't obviously been picked over she would not have gone inside and risked missing Daryl and Merle. Michonne had continued walking back to the prison, but Asha had decided to wait. Daryl and Merle had to come this way to get back. She couldn't face the thought of going back to the prison without knowing whether the brothers were ok. She was choosing not to analyse that feeling too closely at the moment. She paced through the overgrown front yards, relishing the distraction offered by the occasional walker which stumbled into her path, eyes drifting to the road every few seconds.

She heard Daryl's bike before she saw it. She rushed to the edge of the road, straining her eyes as it came over the slight rise and down towards her. There was only one man on it, the familiar shape of his crossbow poking up over his shoulder. Her stomach seized and she bent over double and gagged. The grass blurred in front of her.

She heard the bike go past her, but before it had gone far she heard it turn and then come to a stop behind her.

'Get on,' Daryl snarled.

She held a hand out to stop him saying anything else. Her eyes were fixed on the grass, not really seeing it, and she braced her other hand on her knee as she drew in a couple of long reverberating breaths, trying to steady herself. She wasn't sure why it should affect her this much. Daryl growled something and she heard him kick out the stand on the bike and come towards her.

_Come on Asha, get your shit together. You only knew him a few days. _

She backed away.

'What the hell are you still doin' here?' He snapped.

'What happened?' She asked, forcing her eyes up to Daryl. His eyes were red rimmed and raw.

'Like you give shit. Get on that god damn bike or I will leave you behind,' he snarled.

'Fuck you Daryl,' she snapped eyes flashing. 'You don't know.' She took a long breath, felt it hitch in the back of her throat. 'I think your brother may have been my friend.'

Daryl's eyes narrowed at her.

She fought hard to swallow the lump in her throat. 'Now what the fuck happened?'

His voice was flat. 'Ambush. Looks like the Governor must have had at least twenty men with him. No way that bastard was letting us walk away if we'd brought Michonne. Merle sniped a couple of 'em, found their bodies. Governor wasn't one of 'em, though.' Daryl looked away. 'Merle was dead when I got there...Turned... Reckon it weren't no accident that he was shot in the chest not the head. He… I….'

Suddenly Asha didn't want to know any more. Her chest felt hollow, but she knew it was only a shadow of what she would feel if she ever came across Nash turned. She choked in a long deep breath, chest jerking, and then another. Done was done and Merle was gone. She fought the stinging that sprang up in the back of her eyes at that thought. She swiped angrily at her eyes as she straightened up and looked around.

They had company coming in again. That god damn bike was too god damn loud. She could see a handful of deadheads stumbling towards them, none close enough to be worried about yet.

Daryl was still staring off into the distance. Asha reached out and put a hand on his arm. He flinched, but in a distracted kind of way, and didn't shake her off.

'Come on,' she said gently. 'We gotta go.'

He nodded numbly and they got on the bike.

'Wait,' Asha said. 'Give me that.'

She tugged Daryl's crossbow off him and slung it across her own back next to her spear so she could sit more comfortably behind him. The scent of leather from his vest filled her nose, for a second distracting her from the smell of blood and sweat. She wrapped her arms around his waist, leant in and rested her head against his back, ignoring the spasm of tension that went through him. She didn't much care if he was ok with it, she just wanted the comfort of a bit of human contact. Daryl didn't exactly relax, but he gunned the bike when it became clear she wasn't going to move. They rode back to the prison like that—Asha with her cheek pressed into Daryl's back, gazing at the paddocks and trees flash by with unseeing eyes, and aching as she thought about how she was going to miss that crass, damaged, crazy ass bastard.

* * *

**[A/N: Are you gonna miss him? I'm am.**

**...but there will be a lot more Daryl and Asha now.]**


	16. Chapter 16

**[A/N: Just a short one...but at least it's up quick.]**

* * *

Asha was jolted back to awareness as the bike rattled over the grate and into the prison courtyard. Glenn, on watch again, had opened the gate and was dragging it closed behind them.

'You better find Rick,' he called as soon as the bike's engine died.

Damn fucking straight she would find Rick, and give him a piece of her mind. She flung herself off the back of the bike and stormed into the cell block.

Her eyes fixed on Rick, speaking quietly to Hershel with the rest of the group gathered around. She charged over, slamming both hands into his chest and shoving him backwards, hard.

'Are you outta your god damned mind,' she roared. 'You were going to give Michonne up to that murdering bastard.'

The small part of her brain that wasn't consumed with fury at Rick noticed that no-one looked surprised. Rick must have filled them in.

She shoved him again. 'You were going to sell out one of your own for a mere chance. After all that crap you spouted about protecting everyone in the group. And now Merle's dead—and that on you.' She felt her chest constrict. 'Not that any of you care about that. Y'all painted him as a cold blooded murder in your heads, and that's what he tried to be—'

'That's what he was,' Glenn snapped.

'That's all anyone ever let him be,' Asha snapped back. 'It's what he thought he had to be—for you people—and it got him killed.' Her voice broke at the end.

'That's enough Asha,' Hershel said.

Rick said nothing, just stared back at her with flinty eyes.

'You can't expect us to be sorry Merle's gone,' Maggie said.

Asha heard Daryl growl in his throat behind her.

'I'm sorry Daryl,' Maggie said, half extending a hand toward him. 'I'm sorry you're hurting—but he was bad for us, and he was bad for you.'

'He coulda been better,' Daryl muttered.

'If he'd gotten the chance,' Asha snapped. 'But when the high and mighty Rick fucking Grimes is willing to hand over one of his own to someone like the Governor, then what chance does someone like Merle have of being anything better than what the Governor thought he was—what all you people thought he was—a dog to do the dirty work.'

She felt tears pricking the back of her eyes as she realised that Merle really had never thought he could be anything better. It broke her heart. She grit her teeth and fought hard to hold on to her anger. 'It wouldn't have worked, by the way, handing Michonne over to the governor.'

'What do you mean?' Hershel cut in.

Daryl answered. 'Governor was waiting with at least twenty men, no way he was letting whoever showed up walk away.'

Rick didn't look surprised.

'You knew,' Asha said shocked. 'You knew it wouldn't work and you were' still gonna do it.'

'I didn't know.' Rick said. There was a beat. 'But I guess I'm not surprised.'

'Whatever,' Michonne cut in angrily. 'Rick didn't go through with it, and that's what matters. If I can let it go, the rest of you can too.' She fixed everyone in the room with a glare as she spoke. 'Don't any of you tell me that if it had been your son and your daughter, you wouldn't have considered giving up an outsider as well. The fact that he didn't go through with it means more than the fact that he considered it.'

Asha was shaking her head without realising it and Michonne spun on her.

'Don't give me that shit Asha,' she snapped. 'You already admitted you would have thought about it too.'

Rick's eyes snapped to her in shock.

'It's not that,' Asha said.

She had only just realised that the pieces of a decision had been forming in her head ever since she'd learnt of Merle's death, and as she'd argued with Rick, they'd slipped into place in the back of her mind. She was no longer angry, just completely washed out, and heartsore at the decision that had crept up on her.

'You're right, I would have thought about it. But I'm not in charge of a group of people who think I'm looking out for them.'

'Ya reckon ya'd do a better job?' Daryl snapped.

'Hell no,' she said vehemently. 'But I'm not pretending that I can.' She schooled her voice to calmness. 'But I can't stay here. I wish—'

'You can't be serious?' Maggie said.

'Your going back on your own?' Michonne said over the top of her.

Asha nodded at Michonne tightly. 'I've done it before, I can do it again.' She looked at Rick. 'I know you've done a lot of good for this group Rick, but I wasn't there to see it and much as I might want things to be different...I don't trust you.' She was sure that wasn't a surprise to anyone, Rick least of all, but somehow she felt better—clearer—for having said it out loud. 'And I can't stay here and second guess every decision you make.'

She took a deep breath, hating that she could feel tears welling in her eyes. 'I will help you with the Governor, but after that...' Her eyes tracked across Daryl, his face grim. She had made a promise to Merle, even if he couldn't live up to his end of the bargain, and she instinctively knew that if she now she abandoned Daryl with the threat hanging over them, she would feel that she had betrayed Merle for the rest of her days.

Also, she wasn't going to deny that there was part of her that was looking forward to driving a knife though the Governor's remaining eye.

She turned and walked towards her cell.

'Wait.'

She was surprised to hear Rick's voice.

'You two missed a few things whilst you were gone.'

'Yeah, it moving day or somethin'?' Daryl cut in behind her.

For the first time since she had entered the cell block, Asha had a proper look around, scrubbing the back of her hand across her eyes. The group was clearly in the middle of packing up.

'What the hell's going on,' Daryl demanded.

'It wasn't my call to make, whether we give someone up,' Rick said in a dead, tired sounding voice. 'I was wrong to try and make it on my own.' He rubbed a hand through his hair. 'I've done my best to keep this group alive, but I can't decide how we live...We survive by sticking together, but we do isn't my call any more. I can't make those calls on my own. We vote.'

Asha was stunned. It was the last thing she'd expected Rick to say.

He waved a hand around at the group. 'We've already voted, stay or go. But you get your say too.'

'We ain't runnin',' Daryl snapped. 'That cocksucker killed my brother. I ain't goin' nowhere til I put a bolt between that bastard's eyes.' He met Asha's eyes and she gave him a tiny nod. Merle deserved that at least.

Rick looked at Asha. 'You get a vote too. If you stay with the group, it won't be my decisions that you'll be second guessing.' His voice was calm. Too calm. Asha could tell he was holding down his anger at her.

Her mind reeled as she tried to re-evaluate. Could she stay with the group if Rick wasn't in charge? Voting or not, she knew Rick's opinion would still carry a huge amount of weight with the group. Was this slender attempt at democracy going to be enough? She couldn't pretend that her heart hadn't leapt in her chest at the thought that maybe she didn't have to go back on the road alone.

'Stay or go Asha?' Rick pressed.

She looked around the prison, the people in it, a lot of still faces watching to see her decision. Heading out on the road by herself was one thing, but going on the run with the entire group—with Hershel on crutches, baby Judith?

She took a deep breath. 'Not like its going to make a difference, but I've been on the road before, for a while. I know you have too. Do you remember what that's like? Really remember? Always moving, how hard it is to find somewhere safe to sleep, something to eat.' She swiped both her hands down passed the corners of her mouth as she looked around the cell block. 'This place is strongest I've seen in a while. I don't reckon you should give it up that easily.'

_And if you leave the river, I can't come with you anyway._

Rick looked at her and then Daryl, cold eyes burning in that way of his again. 'Good. That's what we think too.'

Daryl grunted. 'Good. Let's fight the bastard.'

Around them, the group continued to pack up.


	17. Chapter 17

**[A/N: Happy Australia Day!] **

* * *

'We did it!'

Maggie's cry rang along the catwalk as she stood up behind the metal sheeting they'd used to reinforce the catwalk.

Asha swung her semi automatic under her arm and pushed the visor on her helmet back. The riot gear was sweltering and her back was slick with sweat.

'Hell yeah we did,' she called back, a note of incredulity in her voice.

Had Glenn's scraped together ambush plan really worked? Did they really just drive out the Governor's army with a few smoke bombs and a handful of people?

Glenn was whooping in excitement from where he was positioned on the landing. Asha felt a grin spread across her face.

'Glenn!' She screamed. 'You are a fucking genius my friend!'

Maggie's grin matched her own. Asha spread her arms wide, ignoring the twinge in her rib cage, tossed her head back and crowed with delight at their success. Half a second later she heard Maggie's stunned laughter join her.

'I take it from the banshee impression that it worked,' Rick called dryly.

Rick, Daryl, Carol and Michonne had come out of the tombs and were in the courtyard, looking up at her and Maggie with amused expressions on their faces. Asha scanned them all quickly, and breathed a little easier when she realised they were all ok. She felt her eyes lingering on Daryl and jerked them away.

'I vote Glenn is master of tactical decisions from now on,' she called back down, still grinning.

'We're not done yet,' Rick said grimly.

* * *

The four of them sat in silence in the dual cab, Rick, Daryl, Asha and Michonne. The hum of the engine and tyres on tarmac was the only sound. They were going to Woodbury, to find Andrea and to finish it. Maggie and Glenn hadn't been willing to return, so it was just the four of them.

Michonne had said that it would never be over until either they or the Governor were gone. Asha remembered the cold faced man she'd seen on the day she'd arrived at the prison, the same man she seen driving his people into the prison earlier that day. Cold and cruel and thrilling at the slaughter all at once.

She knew Michonne was right. From the stony set to Rick's mouth, he knew it too.

She knew that, but she was really there for Merle. When Daryl, face grim, had started for the car after the ambush, she'd followed him without thought. She knew killing the Governor wasn't going to bring Merle back. She also knew from experience that is wasn't likely to make her feel much better either. It didn't take the loss away, but it would dull the edge of the bitterness that churned in her stomach whenever the realisation bit that her friend was gone whilst the bastard that had killed him still lived. She looked across Daryl, heart aching at the bleak lines in his face, and hoped it took some of the bitterness away for him too.

The corner of her mouth quirked sourly. She wasn't proud of it, but she wondered if she was the only person in the car who had set out to deliberately kill someone before.

_Needs doing though._

Suddenly, Rick stomped on the break and they swerved violently around the army truck stopped in the middle of the road. The dual cab rocked sideways on its wheels before skidding to a stop alongside the truck. A pickup was stopped not far ahead of it, seemingly abandoned, doors flung wide and panels raked with bullet holes.

Asha recognised both vehicles them from the prison—last she'd seen they'd been tearing out through the gate with a third vehicle under a barrage of gunfire laid down by her, Maggie and Glenn.

Her mouth dropped open as the four of the them pushed open their doors and eased themselves out onto the road. Bodies were strewn across the road and out into the nearby field. Those quick to turn were already feeding on their former friends, and the groans and damp snarling sounds of the dead feeding filled the air.

'What the hell,' Daryl muttered, looking out into the field. Asha walked over to join him at the edge of the road. She didn't need to be a tracker to realise that the people face down in the grass had fled from the road and been mown down.

Something suddenly slammed against the inside of the truck cab window. Asha jumped, lost her footing on the grassy verge and slipped to her knee in the ditch at the side of the road. Heart pounding, she scrambled back to her feet. Rick's gun and Daryl's crossbow were trained on the dark haired wild eyed woman who had both palms pressed against the window.

'He killed them,' she near sobbed through the glass. 'He just…' her eyes moved across the road and field. 'Opened fire.'

'Come out of there.' Rick said. He lowered his gun slightly, after a quick glance to check Daryl's crossbow hadn't moved.

The woman pushed the door ajar and near collapsed out of the truck. She pressed a hand to her mouth as she looked around. She was muddy, and there was a great smear of blood across her back. 'He's a madman,' she said eyes wide.

'What happened,' Rick pressed, his voice low and calm.

Her voice trembled. 'He pulled across the road and made us stop. Wanted us to go back and finish you off... We wouldn't do it. We're not an army, we're just...people.' There was a pause while she tried to find the words. 'He just, started shooting. All of us. I thought I was dead.' She started sobbing in earnest.

Rick lowered his gun the rest of the way and raked his fingers through his hair as he looked around.

'Karen,' Michonne said to the sobbing woman. 'Karen, we need to find Andrea. She wasn't with the group that attacked the prison.'

Karen's eyes jerked up. 'Andrea's with you...The Governor said she betrayed us, that she was your spy and led him into an ambush when he went to negotiate with you yesterday.' She scanned their faces. 'He said she was with you at the prison.'

Daryl spat on the road. 'Lyin' piece of shit.'

Rick held Karen's eyes as he shook his head. 'We haven't seen Andrea since we first met with the Governor three days ago. She'll always be welcome with us, but she's no spy.'

'Rick,' Michonne pleaded. 'We have to find her. You know what he can do.'

He nodded. 'Let's go. You too, Karen. We're not leaving you out here.'

Asha wasn't sure why she turned back to the field for a final look, but as soon as she did, the backpack caught her eye. It was on the back of a scraggly walker who was turned away from her, face buried in the entrails of one of Woodbury's recently felled citizens. The pack was black, with a large Australian flag patch stitched across the back. It seemed to swell until it filled her whole vision.

It was Nash's.

He'd brought that bag back after spending a summer as a dive master on the Great Barrier Reef off the Queensland coast. Asha remembered the grin on his face when she'd met him at LAX, that pack slung casually across his shoulder, and the feel of his arms pulling her into huge bear hug.

She gave a low cry and raced into the field.

A handful of walkers were in the field, and she drew their attention like moths to a flame. Fresh meat is always best. Her spear blurred in her hand as she wrenched it through the skull of the first to reach her. She pivoted away on her heel, driving her spear under the jaw of another, then kicking a third in the hip in stabbing it through the head as it fell to the ground. Rick or Daryl, or maybe Michonne, shouted behind her.

The walker wearing Nash's pack hadn't moved from its meal. She made a beeline for it, absently taking out another two walkers before reaching it.

She slowed.

_It's not big enough to be Nash, not big enough._

She moved slowly around the side of the walker. Its head was tipped forwards, hands clawing entrails to its mouth, face hidden behind a screen of tattered hair, too muddy for Asha to tell its colour. It had been dead for a while.

The walker caught her scent and looked up slowly, fixing Asha with its filmy eyes. Half a sob escaped her and she stumbled backwards. The face was all wrong. Slanted eyes looked at her beneath swarthy brows.

_Not Nash. _

She choked on a hysterical sob of relief.

_Not Nash, not Nash, not Nash. _

The walker that was not Nash was on its feet, teeth gnashing as it tripped over the body it had just been eating as it sought to take the most direct route to her. Shoulders shaking she drove her spear through its head as it sprawled on the ground.

Then she started pulling the pack off its back, struggling awkwardly as she tried to manhandle its arms though the straps, chest heaving with silent hysterical laughter. She couldn't get it off. The creature was a dead weight and the flesh of its arms stripped off as she wrestled with the straps.

Then Daryl was there, losing a bolt at snarling walker coming towards them. Asha realised Michonne was in the field too, her katana spinning as she took out a walker. Rick was still on the road with Karen.

'Are you outta your goddamn mind?' Daryl hissed, grabbing her by the arm and yanking her roughly to her feet. 'What the fuck is wrong with you.'

'Nash's pack,' she gasped.

Daryl's eyes widened, flickered to the body at the feet and then back to her with a sudden flash of sympathy.

'Not Nash,' she half laughed half sobbed.

_Not Nash, not Nash._

'But Nash's pack.' She grinned like a maniac, gripping Daryl's arm 'I need it, it'll help me find him. If I can figure out where this walker was...'

She trailed off.

Daryl was looking at her like she was a few cans short of a six pack. The sympathy was still in his eyes. There were some probable ways that Nash's pack had ended up on a walker whom she wouldn't have recognised when he was human—and some less probable ones. Thinking she would find something in Nash's pack that would help locate him was definitely banking on one of the less probable ones.

'Daryl,' Rick called from the road. 'We gotta go.'

She tugged her arm out of Daryl's grip and went back to pulling at the pack. She managed to get an arm free before Daryl bent, swearing under his breath, and helped her roll the corpse to get the other arm free.

'Hell no,' he said, as Asha started to open the pack, ready to go through it there and then. He planted a rough hand on the top of the pack. 'We got stuff to do remember?'

She glared at him, but then nodded and clutched the pack to her chest. She was already covered in blood and filth, so a little more meant nothing. Daryl started her towards the road with a shove in the shoulder.

'Did I miss the part where we started robbing the dead?' Rick asked dryly when they joined him on the road.

'It's Nash's,' Asha said, noting Rick's quick glance at Daryl, and Daryl's tiny head shake in response.

'Not Nash,' Asha confirmed. 'Just his pack.'

Rick nodded, his expression carefully blank. 'Ok. But put it the trunk for now. I need you focused till we deal with Woodbury.'

Asha nodded reluctantly.

He had a point.

She let Daryl take the pack out of her hands and stow it in the trunk. Then she got in the car without meeting anyone else's eyes, hating the sympathy she could see there.

He wasn't dead.

* * *

It was dark before they reached Woodbury.

Not wanting to announce their presence, they parked the car some distance away from the wall and approached on foot, ghosting quickly between the abandoned cars scattered along the road. Rick and Daryl led, Asha and Michonne brought up the rear with Karen in the middle.

Asha shouldered her semi automatic rifle and scanned the wall with narrowed eyes. Her spear was in the car, and although she knew the rifle was better suited to storming Woodbury, she missed the comforting weight of her spear across her back.

As they darted across gap towards their final bit of cover—a burnt out sedan with rusting body and shattered windows—there were flashes of light from the top of the wall and bullets ricocheted across the car. Heart pounding, Asha sprinted hard and slumped behind the back tyre before returning fire.

'Tyrese!' Karen shouted between spurts of gunfire. She started moving away from the car. 'It's me don't— '

'Get down,' Rick hissed, yanking her back.

'Karen,' a man's voice called out of the darkness. 'Karen! Are you ok?'

Karen wrenched free of Rick and stepped away from the car, holding her empty hands up. 'I'm fine.'

'Where's the Governor?'

Asha could make him out now, a large dark figure on the top of the wall, partially concealed behind a stack of tyres. She kept her rifle trained on him.

'He fired on everyone,' Karen said. 'Killed them all.'

There was an incredulous silence from the wall, and Asha saw the man glance across to someone still hidden out of sight.

'Why are you with them?' He asked after a long moment.

'They...' Karen glanced back towards the four of them crouched behind the car, '...saved me.'

There was another long silence and Asha watched Rick grimace and then sling his rifle across his back. 'I'm coming out,' he called, voice tight.

Asha's heart leapt into her throat.

'Nah,' Daryl hissed, locking eyes with Rick, but Rick moved away—hands up—into the open. Asha's skin prickled all over as if she were in the firing line. The man had balls, that was for sure.

Daryl growled in his throat before lowering his rifle. Asha lashed out instinctively to grab hold him, but he avoided her grasp and followed Rick. Asha shared a quick grim glance with Michonne, before swallowing hard and following with her own hands up.

Her eyes flew apprehensively along the length of the wall, but in the dark she couldn't make anything out. The dark shadow of the large man had disappeared. She noted with some jealousy the relaxed way Rick seemed to roll his shoulders as he approached the wall. He was probably faking it, but even faking it was impressive. Personally Asha was wound so tight she thought she might shatter at the next loud noise.

The gate in the wall edged open as Karen reached it, the gap filled by a large dark human shape that held a semi automatic in one hand and pulled the dark haired woman into a rough embrace with the other.

The man—Tyrese, Asha assumed—fixed Rick with a hard stare. 'What are you doing here?' he asked.

'We were coming to finish it,' Rick admitted. 'Until we saw what the Governor did.'

'He killed them?' There was a look of bafflement in the large man's eyes.

Rick nodded. 'Yeah… Karen told us Andrea hoped the wall, going for the prison. She never made it. She might be here.

Tyrese frowned. He gestured behind him to a pretty, dark skinned woman with narrowed eyes. She held a rifle that wasn't exactly still trained on them, but it wasn't exactly lowered either. 'Sasha and I ran into her in the woods after she jumped the wall, but we haven't seen her since.'

Rick shared a grim glance with Daryl. 'We think we know where she might be.'

* * *

The door closed quietly behind Andrea and Michonne. Asha's hands were shaking and she wrapped her arms around herself and squeezed as she leant her back up against the wall. She tried hard not to look at the pool of blood seeping under the door. She watched Rick wipe his eyes with the back of his hand. Daryl was silent, looking at the ground and fiddling aimlessly with his cross bow.

Asha closed her eyes and waited for the crack of the gunshot, feeling the tears pooling in her eyes. She had barely known Andrea, but no-one deserved that.

_No-one gets what they deserve anymore._

She jerked involuntarily at the sharp crack of gunfire.

She wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand, feeling them shake against her face. Ordinarily she hated that she cried so much—at the drop of a hat, as her dad used to say—but she figured today warranted it.

After a long moment, the door opened and Michonne, eyes raw, emerged trembling.

'We can't leave her here,' she said.

Rick nodded. 'Tyrese,' he said to the man who had let them into Woodbury. 'Can you find us a sheet or something?'

The big man nodded and slipped away. Michonne slumped against the wall next to Asha. Asha reached out and squeezed her arm and Michonne's grief ravaged eyes flickered to hers for a moment.

There was silence for a few minutes.

'What now?' Daryl asked quietly.

Rick's eyebrows drew down as he concentrated.

'We can't just leave them here,' he said. The faces of the elderly and children who had stayed behind in Woodbury flashed through Asha's mind. 'Karen was right about the Governor taking just about anyone who could hold a gun with him on the raid on the prison. They're totally unprotected.'

'You want to take them back to the prison with us?' Daryl asked.

'I'm not sure there's a better option.'

Rick glanced around, looking for input.

'We don't know these people,' Daryl said. 'Lotta their people died today, might be that they're gonna blame us for that. Ya sure ya wanna invite that in?'

Rick shook his head. 'I think Karen can help with that. These people know her and she saw what the Governor did. Besides, if they're gonna blame us, leaving them here is only gonna give them more reason.'

Daryl grunted.

Rick looked at Asha. 'Well?'

'I dunno Rick,' she said quietly. Her stomach had clenched at the thought of bringing so many people back to the prison. 'I've been on both sides of this fence. A few days ago I was on the outside, hoping you guys would let me in, but letting people in is dangerous…'

'You really think those kids and elderly are a threat?' Rick said. 'We know Sasha and Tyrese weren't with the Governor long.'

'I know you're probably right Rick, but…and I know its hypocritical of me to suggest anything other than letting them in... but taking in a whole group like this, there's no way of knowing whether everyone is gonna be safe….'

Rick raked a hand through his hair. 'Well, we can't take this back to the group for a vote, so it's gonna have to be the four us. Anyone else got anything to say?'

They looked at Michonne, staring listlessly at the ground. 'I think Andrea gets a vote too,' she said without looking up. 'She fought hard to try to save these people, because she said there were good people here. She'd want us to take them in.' She looked up. 'That gets my vote too.'

Rick nodded. 'That's three in favour, you, me and Andrea.'

Asha struggled with it for a moment. 'I think I know what Hershel would say too. When I spoke to him a couple of days ago he told me he thought we had to take people in or we are just gonna fade away. He was trying to convince me to stay. He'd be in favour of this.' She took a deep breath, ignored the clenching in her stomach, and then nodded. 'Let's at least give them the choice.'

Rick cocked an eyebrow at her. 'Did you really just argue both sides of that argument?'

'Lawyer remember?'

'Maybe not such useless skills after all. Daryl?' Rick asked.

Daryl folded his bottom lip into his mouth and chewed it. Finally he nodded. 'Hell, reckon we handle any threat a handful of kids and elderly pose.'

Rick nodded. 'Alright then. We'll get Tyrese and Karen to make them the offer.'

'What offer?' Tyrese asked, walking towards them down the corridor, a faded orange blanket folded in his arms.

'We think the people here should come back with us to the prison,' Rick said. 'You haven't go the numbers or the muscle to defend this place anymore—and the Governor is still out and he doesn't seem to care much for his own anymore.'

Tyrese nodded. 'I'll ask.'

He held out the blanket.

Rick took it and he and Daryl slipped into the room to collect Andrea. Asha slipped an arm around Michonne as the woman's shoulders started shaking. A moment later, Rick pushed the door open and Daryl came out, Andrea orange shrouded and cradled gently in his arms.

Rick followed and closed the door behind him. 'Let's go home.'


	18. Chapter 18

**[A/N: Lovely people! Thanks for the reviews, follows and favourites! I was pretty excited to crack 50 followers on the last chapter, so wanted to get this up as soon as possible. For those of you who have been waiting for some Asha and Daryl bonding, I hope this satisfies (for the time being anyway.)**

**SorrowJunky, I am tossing up on whether or not to start including some chapters from Daryl's POV. It wasn't the original plan, but I'm starting to see how Daryl's perspective might add something. We'll see... And yeah, I am avoiding your question about how I am going to play Carol, mostly because I'm not loving what I've written on that front and I might still change it.****] **

* * *

The day was done. The light had bled from the sky like cheap dye into water and a sprinkling of stars had appeared in its wake. The air was still. It had the feeling of exhaustion, like the earth itself was too weary to move. Much like the inhabitants of the prison.

They had returned the previous night, the residents of Woodbury piled into a school bus they had scavenged from part of Woodbury's wall. The elderly, the children and the Woodbury survivors had stumbled shell shocked and bewildered out of the bus and into the prison courtyard, hands clutching their few possessions and eyes rolling with some apprehension across the dark walls of their new home.

The expression on Carl's face when they returned was burned in Asha's mind—the contempt with which he'd looked at the new arrivals, the disgust and open hatred on his face when he'd spoken quietly with his father before storming away into the cell block. The intensity of his emotion had shocked her a little, and she was glad then that she hadn't allowed her own emotions to prevent them from bringing back the Woodbury refugees.

The day had been filled with the organised chaos of getting so many new arrivals settled in. The yard had been cleared, the flattened gate had been jerry-rigged back into place until they figured out a more permanent solution. Plans were in place to strip everything useful they could from Woodbury and bring it back to the prison.

Early in the afternoon, Asha had found Michonne and asked for her help. She had been a little surprised when dreadlocked woman had readily agreed. She supposed she could have asked Daryl, but to be honest she didn't want to make him go back there. Asha and Michonne took one of the cars and slipped out the prison. They followed Hershel's directions to the site of the previous meeting with the Governor, and then they looked for Merle. Their dead belonged in the ground. Asha supposed that after Andrea, Michonne could appreciate that.

They found him sprawled on his back in the sun near a silo. They wrapped him a sheet from the prison laundry which Asha had stashed in the car, put him in the boot of the car and took him home. In the late afternoon sun, they buried him next to Andrea.

Daryl had taken the shovel away from her at some point. Later, Rick had tried to take the shovel from Daryl, but Asha had turned on him, teeth bared, and ripped the shovel from his hands. Daryl hadn't argued and Rick and Michonne had left them alone.

Eventually the grave had been deep enough. They laid Merle to rest, struggling between the two of them to lower him into the earth, and then filling the black soil back in—all in silence as far as Asha could recall.

Asha sat cross legged on the ground at the end of the mound of freshly turned dirt. She was filthy from digging and she stared blankly in the near dark at her blistered hands. Her cracked rib was aching, a burning node of pain that seemed to be radiating heat around her torso. On the other side of the dog run, the never ending moans of the dead kept her company—though there were fewer around than usual as the area had been cleared pretty well during the day.

She jerked as Daryl suddenly walked past her, makeshift cross in one hand and a heavy slug of wood in the other. The man was damn near silent when he wanted to be. He drove the cross into the head of Merle's grave with steady blows from the chunk of wood, the noise increasing the agitation of the few walkers outside the fence.

'Merle a christian?' Asha asked.

'Nope.' He tossed the chunk of wood away and sank to the ground next to Asha.

They sat in silence for a moment, staring at the cross.

'Thanks.' Daryl said eventually.

Asha nodded. 'Didn't want to leave him out there, you know?'

Daryl nodded in return. 'That too.'

Asha's brow furrowed at him a little. What else was he thanking her for?

He saw her looking and shrugged. 'Don't think Merle ever thought anyone would care when he was gone. Hell, if he wasn't my brother I'm not sure I would. Man could be a real asshole.'

Asha gave broken, tiny little laugh.

_Wasn't that the truth._

Daryl ran his fingertips through the spindly grass that filled the yard. 'Ya cared. Enough to try to make things easier for him before, and enough to tear Rick a new one after he was gone.' His blue eyes, dark in the fading light, met hers. 'Means a lot.'

She held his eyes, feeling...she wasn't sure what. 'How you holding up?' She asked eventually.

His eyes were hooded as he turned back to the grave. 'Merle... he thought he looked out for me as a kid. Thought he protected me from the old man. But really, most of my memories are of him leavin' me—or getting me into trouble and then leavin' me… Don't know why this would be any different.'

_Because it's permanent._ But Asha thought better of saying that. 'Cause it's your brother,' she said sadly.

She reached out and took Daryl's hand, lacing her fingers through his, ignoring the shiver of tension she felt go through him.

His shoulders hunched and his jaw rippled as he clenched it. 'Just...never thought he'd go before me. Was the toughest bastard I ever met.'

She squeezed his hand. 'Your brother wasn't a bad guy Daryl. I mean, he definitely could be an asshole, but I think he was just a bit lost...' She sighed. 'He helped me as much as I helped him. I wish he'd known that...I wish...' Her voice broke. 'I wish our last words hadn't been a fight.'

Daryl grunted. 'Ya gave him the time of day—without wanting something back in return. That's more than anyone's done for Merle in while...a long while. He knew that.'

'Your brother was gonna help me find my brother,' Asha said quietly.

'Yeah, I know.' Daryl pulled his hand away and Asha felt the loss tingle in her palm. 'But that was only 'cause ya were givin' him the time of day in the first place.'

Asha shrugged, looking back at her hands again in the dark. She remembered Merle as she had found him near the silo.

'I'm really sorry you had to find him like that Daryl.'

His face stiffened immediately.

'I… my sister had turned when we found her.' Asha hesitated, rubbing her muddy hand across her forehead as her sister's face floated into her mind, but it was hard to see her as she had been and not as she was when they had found her. She was buried in a shallow unmarked grave that Nash and Asha had dug with their bare hands. Asha wasn't even sure she could find her way back to it anymore. 'No one should have to see their family like that,' she finished sadly.

There was silence as they both stared blankly at Merle's grave.

Where'd ya learn to fight like that? Daryl asked.

Asha was grateful for the topic change.

'Nash mostly, and I've had plenty of time and plenty of dead to practice on...But my dad taught me to throw a punch when I was about 16.'

Daryl arched his brows at her.

Asha smiled sadly. 'He always said "Never start a fight, but if someone else does, you make damn sure you finish it." I think he was getting a little scared at the idea of his little girl being out in the world and not able to defend herself.' Her mouth twisted a little. 'And I have always had this knack of saying things without thinking them through—sometimes they don't go down well. He even let me practice on Nash a few times.'

Daryl's brows climbed higher. 'Ya dad encouraged ya to hit ya brother?'

Asha smiled again, wider and more genuinely this time. 'Nash is four years older than me, and even now I only come up to his shoulders, and I'm not exactly short. He was about twice my size growing up. Only way I was gonna hurt him was if he was on his knees with his hands behind his back...and probably not even then. I did get better though.

'Ya dad teach ya sister too?'

'Nah. I'm about ten years older than Renee.' Her voice softened as she spoke about her sister.

'She's my half sister technically—not that we ever thought about her that way. Dad got remarried, and she was the baby of his twilight years. He died when she was about eight or nine so he never had the chance, to teach her a lot of things really.' Asha laughed softly and fondly. 'Nash tried once. Mary, my step mother, nearly had a fit. It wasn't much use though, Ren was such a sweet thing. Didn't have an aggressive bone in her body. She tried, she tried really hard, mostly because Nash wanted her to I think, but it was like asking a bunny rabbit to take on a wolf. She was useless.' Asha closed her eyes fighting the tightness in her chest as she drew in a couple of rapid breaths. 'Do you think we could talk about something else?'

'Ya find anything in ya brother's pack?'

Asha sighed. 'Not really. Nothin' personal of Nash's anyway, not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing.'

It was Daryl's turn to shrug. Asha was grateful he didn't try to give her an answer.

'Found a couple of lighters with branding on them from a hotel in Douglasville,' she said. 'It's away from the river, but I reckon it's worth a look. Can probably get there and back in a day if I take one of the cars...and can find enough gas.'

It was thin, she knew it, and she suppressed the bitter surge in her stomach that she hadn't turned up anything more useful.

Daryl frowned. 'Rick won't let ya take one of the cars till we know where the Governor is. Might need em if we need ta make a run for it.'

She sighed. 'Yeah. Figured as much.' She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. 'Can I take your bike?'

His head jerked up. 'Hell no,' he spat.

She grimaced, but it was the answer she had been expecting.

'Can ya even ride it?' He demanded.

'Used to ride dirt bikes on my cousins' farm as a teenager. Been a while, but I reckon I'd remember most of it.'

'Dirt bikes?' He looked at her in disgust. 'Ya stay the hell away from my bike.'

'Fine.'

She went back to contemplating her hands in the dark. She would just have to wait. It would take her forever if she had to go on foot.

Daryl was watching her from the corner of his eye.

'What?'

'Thought you'd be snarling and swearing at me for keeping ya from your brother?'

She rubbed at her forehead again. 'Yeah, well... I'm tired Daryl.' She swallowed hard. 'And I'm scared. What if he's there and he's turned. I don't...' Her voice trembled. 'I don't know if I can do it again.'

He reached out, and she saw him visibly hesitate before he wrapped her dirty hand in his large calloused one. 'When it's safe to go, I'll come with you.'

Asha's shoulders shook and the ground in front of her blurred as she nodded.

Daryl squeezed her hand quickly before letting it go.

They sat in silence for a while as the darkness settled in fully around the prison, listening to the dead outside the fence, and beyond that, the sound of the woods coming alive at night.

Asha absently pressed a hand to her aching ribs.

'Ya coulda let Rick help dig,' Daryl said.

'You reckon I was too hard on him?' Now that she'd had a bit of space she was feeling increasingly awkward about the way she'd behaved after Merle's death—and Rick probably didn't deserve to have his head bitten off for trying them to help them bury Merle.

Daryl chewed his bottom lip for a moment. 'Ya gonna start cutting him some slack?'

Asha hesitated. 'I've heard all about what Rick did for the group to get you here, and I get it, I get your loyalty to him.' She tapped the side of her head with a finger. 'I get it here. I just—' she tapped her breastbone over her heart. 'I don't get it here.'

Daryl looked at her, eyes intent, listening carefully.

Asha sighed and looked along the line of graves. 'I don't think he's a bad guy—and I've got to admit he wasn't completely useless when we went into Woodbury—but he's unstable, and the call he made with Michonne?' She shook her head.

Daryl leant towards her, blue eyes intense. 'Rick needs a break, but this isn't all he is. Give him a chance, he'll show you.'

Asha looked across at Daryl, noticing how close he was. She could smell him, the mix of sweat and dirt, undercut with something that was particularly him. She breathed him in, surprised how much it comforted her.

'I hope so,' she said honestly, meeting his eyes. 'I do. But I'm not holding my breath, and until then,' she gave him a small smile. 'I'll stick to following you.'

'Pfft.' He waved her comment away with his hand, leaning away from her.

She chuckled at his obvious discomfort. 'Don't worry Dixon,' she patted his leg. 'I'll only follow you whilst you're going in the right direction.'

'Stop.'

She took a deep breath and pushed herself to her feet, brushing off the loose dirt. She walked around the grave and touched the cross, saying a silent farewell to Merle. She felt Daryl's eyes on her. She turned and forced a grin for him.

'Reckon I still owe Rick an apology though,' she said. 'Might as well get it over with right?'

Daryl's face was unreadable in the dark, but he inclined his head towards her in a tiny nod.

She squeezed his shoulder as she went past him, and then she went looking for Rick.


	19. Chapter 19

**[A/N: This should probably have been part of the last chapter - but I wasn't quite ready to post this when I posted Chap 18. Well, you're getting it now.]**

* * *

Asha found Rick in a quiet corner of the courtyard, sitting on the ground, arms wrapped loosely around his knees, staring up at the catwalk.

'Am I interrupting?' Asha asked as she walked up.

Rick's eyes didn't move from the catwalk.

'No,' he shook his head and took a deep breath. Asha watched him scan the length of catwalk. 'No. You're not interrupting.'

Asha sat down beside him.

There was silence whilst she searched for the words.

'I owe you an apology.'

Rick looked at her in surprise. 'That is not what I was expecting you to say.'

Asha bristled immediately. 'What, you don't think I know enough to realise when I'm wrong?'

Rick arched both eyebrows at her.

_Shit._

She scrubbed the heel of her palm across her forehead. 'I come over here to apologise for one fight and I near end up in another. This is an awesome dynamic we've got going here Officer Friendly.'

'Don't call me that.'

_Right, Merle called him that. _

She looked across at him. His eyes were tracking across the catwalk again.

'I was outta line, after Merle, and this afternoon too when you tried to help I guess.'

Rick met her eyes, before Asha turned away, looking up at the night sky.

'He was my friend and I was pissed that he was dead.' She swallowed the lump in her throat. 'And I was...pissed, that you would give up Michonne. Because if you were willing to give her up, you'd easily give me up.'

She glanced at Rick. His jaw had tightened, but she didn't need him to confirm or deny that. She looked back at the stars spattering the night sky. 'But I've got no right to criticise anyone else's moral compass. Don't know that anyone does these days.'

Rick was looking at her, but he stayed silent.

'I don't take back what I said about being unwilling to stay here and second guess your decisions, but if you're only one voice in many, I don't see why we can't figure out some sort of middle ground.'

She left it hanging whilst Rick stared across the courtyard. After a long moment he looked across at her.

'You weren't that outta line,' he said quietly. 'And you proved at Woodbury that you are capable of thinking clearly about things—at least when it doesn't involve your brother.' Then he gave her a tiny, weary smile. 'It's possible that you haven't been seeing me at my best.'

Asha forced a grin. 'Rick Grimes, that is the first hint of a sense of humour that I've seen from you. maybe you aren't a lost cause after all.'

He forced a half laugh, before slumping back over his knees. His eyes immediately returned to the catwalk.

'Do you see her?' Asha asked softly.

Rick shook his head. 'Not since we brought back the people from Woodbury... Is it bad that I miss her more now? Feels like she's really gone.'

'Nah.'

'Still reckon it was a mistake to bring them back?'

Asha took a long breath. 'In this particular case, no, I don't think it was a mistake. But I'm not gonna pretend it doesn't scare the absolute shit outta me just letting people in like that. There's gotta be a system Rick. We can't do that in future. It's asking for trouble.'

'What, we oughta lock them in the cells until we don't think they're a threat anymore?'

'There are stupider systems,' she said seriously. 'And I don't object to the fact that you locked me in a cell.'

Rick looked at her incredulously.

'Yeah I was pissed at the time—but mostly because you were stopping me look for Nash. And I didn't appreciate being bait for Merle.' She paused to give him a hard look. 'But if I'd been asking you to take me in, I wouldn't have objected to there being certain restrictions on my freedom until you were satisfied that I wasn't a danger.'

Rick narrowed his eyes at her. 'What happened with your last group?'

Asha sighed. She didn't want to get into this, especially not now when she was so damn drained after the last few days, but it was important—and much as she might talk about Rick's voice being one of many in their fledgling new democracy, there was no doubt that it was the loudest, and probably would for a while.

'You said before that you let the wrong people in.' Rick pressed. 'And then they let worse people in?'

'Yeah.' She wiped both hands down her face and past her mouth. 'It was a mother and her daughter. They were half starved, so scared. So grateful to be taken in.' She shook her head. 'You would never have thought they were any sort of threat. The little girl, she would only have been ten or so, barely spoke a word, and the mother spent the whole time jumping at her own shadow. We weren't stupid. We watched them for a few days, but there didn't seem to be any real threat. And if they were a bit more skittish than most people we took in, well we just chalked it up to them having been on their own for a while. Honestly, we were just amazed they'd survived.'

She paused, and Rick waited. Her voice sounded dead in her own ears when she spoke.

'One night, about a week or so after they arrived, they lit a fire in one of our storage sheds. Drew most of our people in to put it out. But they'd also slit the throats of the two of our people that remained on watch. By the time we realised what had happened it was too late. Their people had swarmed us. Men only, the worst kind. The kind that were only too happy to throw off whatever restraints the world used to have over them.'

She ground her teeth together, lip lifting in a snarl. 'And they smiled. That woman and her daughter, whilst those men swarmed us, locked us up. They smiled.'

Her hands were shaking and she clenched and stretched them reflexively, but her voice was rock steady. 'I'd like to think it was just the mother—if they even were mother and daughter—that did it all, that set the fire and killed the people on watch, but she couldn't be in both places at once. That little girl played her part.'

Rick was watching her carefully. 'What happened?'

She leant away from Rick and spat on the ground. 'They didn't kill us all to start with, kept most of us locked up.' She shivered with the memory. 'We got out, fought back.'

She shrugged off the rest of his enquiry. She really didn't want to get into that.

'Why didn't you stay there, with your group? After I mean?'

'Some of them got away.' She swallowed and wiped both her hands down her face again. 'They had our sister. Nash and I went after them. Took us a while to catch them. After...after, I just didn't want to go back there. Neither did Nash.'

'I get it,' Rick said. 'We gotta be careful, get a system in place.'

Asha watched her hands still clenching and flexing of their own accord for a moment, then she forced them to be still, balling them tightly into fists. 'You gotta be so much more than careful Rick,' she whispered. 'Honestly, mandatory cell time's not such a bad idea.'

Rick pushed himself to his feet. 'Hershel and Carol, they've been talking to Sasha and Karen about forming some sort of council, make decisions for the group. They need to know about this.'

Asha nodded. 'You tell them. That's why I told you.'

He nodded, and started towards the cell block. He stopped before he was half way there and turned back.

'Hey Asha, where was this old camp of yours?'

Asha shrugged. 'To the south somewhere, in Georgia still. Dunno if it really had a name before. It was just the spot where a whole bunch of train lines converged. We called it Terminus.'

* * *

**[A/N: Yep, Asha and Nash are from Terminus.]**


	20. Chapter 20

**[A/N: So, the spin on this story has morphed a little from where I originally planned. Basically, everything up til now should be considered "Part I: Merle", and everything from here on in should be considered "Part II: Daryl". (Actually, I'm going to go back and label chapter one accordingly).****] **

* * *

**Part II: Daryl**

* * *

_Prologue_

The shack slumped half concealed in the trees, its sloping timbers and cracked frame evidence of neglect that long predated the end of the world. The afternoon sun pierced through overgrown branches that seemed to claw the building back into the woods, casting sharp shadows on the sagging porch.

It wasn't the place he'd grown up, but it was the same. He could see it in the empty bottles and rubbish trapped in the overgrown grass and taste it in the sourness in the air. His lip lifted in a snarl.

He could almost hear the old man's voice raging from the darkness through the open door.

There was a soft voice behind him. 'It doesn't make you who you are.'

Daryl's head snapped around and he saw Asha, her eyes hooded and a smear of dirt across one check. Spear gun held loose in one hand, she pulled her long blonde braid over her shoulder as she came to stand beside him, eyes tracking across the slipshod building.

'What?' He couldn't help the snarl in his voice.

'Your past. It isn't the whole story. I mean, it's definitely part of the picture, but it's not everything.'

Daryl looked at her, eyes narrowing defensively. She was tall enough to meet him eye to eye.

She reached out and rested her hand on his arm. Daryl's skin tingled under her fingers—even through his flannel shirt—and he suddenly wondered when he'd stopped flinching at her touch.

Her voice was sad as she continued. 'We are what we are, and some times that includes things that aren't so good…'

He stiffened. He didn't need her damn pity, but when he looked at her, her blue eyes were clear and calm.

'But we chose what we do with it. You're more than just this Daryl, and I reckon you've been making that choice every day I've known you.'

His chest and the muscles across his back suddenly felt tight. He wanted to step away from her, but her eyes held him, then she gave a small smile and he felt some of his tension drain away.

The corner of her mouth suddenly quirked and she let go of his arm, looking back towards the shack.

'What?' Daryl asked.

'Had a similar conversation with your brother.'

His eyes flashed to her in shock.

_Damn Merle and his big fucking mouth._

'What d'he tell ya?'

'Nothing specific about this.' Asha waved her hand in the direction of the shack. 'Though I did get the impression that your dad was kinda a dick.'

Her brow creased and she rubbed tiredly at her forehead with the heel of her palm. 'We were talking about the things he did for the Governor I think. Point still stands though.'

Daryl felt his mouth twist sourly as he looked back at the dilapidated structure melting into the trees in the lengthening shadows.

_It ain't everything…_

He absently heard a set of footsteps in the dry leaf litter and then Michonne appeared in the corner of his eye on the other side of Asha.

'What d'ya reckon,' Michonne said. 'Camp here for the night?'

Daryl ground his teeth together, and he felt Asha glance at him.

'Nah,' she said. 'Not here.'

Daryl felt the pause, before Michonne grunted.

'Fine, let's keep moving.'

The two women moved away, but he watched the darkening shack for a moment longer before spitting into the long grass and turning to follow them.

They set up camp another hour or so into the woods, leaving them just enough time to spread out their walker traps—long cord with bits of metal and can that rattled together when walkers stumbled into them—and collect some firewood before the light finally faded altogether.

Daryl exhaled, noting the way his breath fogged in the air, and crouched down next to the slender blonde woman poking at their small fire with a stick. The flames crackled and danced, licking upwards around the squirrel speared above it. It smelt like it was done, so Daryl pulled it out, letting the meat cool for a minute, before splitting it down the middle. Michonne—on watch outside the circle of fire light so her night vision wasn't affected—had elected to take the last can of peaches, leaving him and Asha to split the squirrel.

He held out half the meat to Asha, who was staring blankly into the fire. Daryl watched the flame light glowing golden across her profile for a moment, then nudged her in the knee with the meat.

They ate in silence, enjoying the warmth radiating into the thin air from the fire. The meat was gone too quickly, and from the corner of his eye he watched Asha lick the juices off her long fingers and hold them out the heat.

'Ya get any closer and you'll be in the fire,' Daryl said dryly.

'Bite me Daryl.' She smiled, her eyes catching the firelight.

'Gonna have to put that out soon,' he said reluctantly.

They had dug the fire into a hole to hide the flames. They hadn't seen anybody new for a while now, but you never knew who was around and the light of even a small fire could travel a fair distance at night. Wouldn't pay to leave it burning longer than they had to.

'I know,' Asha nodded, but she shuffled somehow closer to the fire. 'You know, when we started looking for the Governor, somehow I didn't think we'd still be out here come winter.'

Daryl grunted. He snapped the squirrel bone he'd been sucking and tossed it into the flames.

He hadn't thought they'd still be out here come winter either, but the Governor had proved more elusive to track then he'd wanted. They'd found and lost his trail—or what they thought was his trail—a handful of times. Daryl suspected the bastard had managed to get hold of car once or twice. He grimaced, they'd been nearly ten days out this time and they still hadn't managed to pick up the trail from where they'd last lost it.

Much as he wanted to put a bolt through the bastard's head he was slowly starting to realise it might not happen. If the Governor had any sense he'd left the damn state and would keep on running.

He felt Asha's eyes on him and realised his lips had twisted back into a snarl.

'Stop thinking about it,' she said. Then she sighed, wrapped her arms around herself and turned away to her blankets.

Daryl kicked dirt over the flames and crawled under his own blankets.

As soon as he closed his eyes he saw the shack in his mind. Not the one they'd passed this afternoon, but one that was near identical—but this time he heard the old man roaring beyond the broken door. His eyes flew open and he lay there, breathing hard for a moment, until the familiar sounds of the woods at night wiped out the echo of his father's voice.

_It ain't everything…_

_Maybe not...but it sure as shit felt like a fucking lot sometimes._

He looked over at the dark pile of blankets and the paler patch of blond hair spilling from the end.

Her voice murmured in his mind, _you're more than just this Daryl…_

Well, Merle had said she wasn't judgmental.

There was a tightness in his chest. Still hurt to think about his brother, hurt that he was gone—but it helped a little to know that towards the end someone had seen past all of Merle's crap and shit and had believed he was worth something.

His eyes fell back on the pale strip of blonde hair. He owed that scrawny blonde woman more than she'd ever realise for giving his brother that.

Still, he couldn't help wonder just how close Asha and his brother had gotten before the end...

He could tell she wasn't asleep. Every now and then a visible tremor ran across the blankets as she shivered violently.

'Damn woman, how can ya always be so cold? Winter ain't even set in yet.'

He hadn't realised he said spoken aloud until Asha's eyes slit open.

She started muttering under her breath and then she scrambled out of her blankets and gathered them into her arms.

Daryls' brow creased in confusion as she came over and glowered down at him.

'Well, move over.'

His mouth opened but couldn't think of the words, suddenly very aware of the blood rushing in his ears.

She nudged him with roughly with her foot.

'Come on, I'm fucking freezing.'

He could hear her teeth chattering.

In the absence of a better idea he moved over, awkwardly lifting the corner of his blanket so she could crawl underneath. He could feel her shivering as she sat down quickly next to him and spread her blankets out over them both.

She paused and arched a brow at him.

'Don't go reading too much into this sunshine, I fully intend to spoon with Michonne when you go on watch.'

Daryl grunted, but some of the tension he hadn't realised he was carrying went out of his shoulders.

She slid further under the blankets and curled in towards his chest, tucking her head under his chin, and pulling the blanket up around her ears.

He lay there perfectly still and perfectly awkwardly for a moment. Her body shook and felt like ice. She mumbled something into his chest, and he was relieved to feel that her breath at least was warm.

'What?' he asked, pulling his head back a little to look down at her.

'This would work a lot better if you put your arm around me,' she muttered. 'Least until I warm up.'

'Oh. Right.'

He had to admit it was more comfortable once he'd slid one arm under her neck and settled the other around her back.

'Ya remember ya asked to take my bike?' he asked quietly.

Asha snorted softly. 'I remember getting shut down pretty quickly on that front.'

'Pretty sure ya compared my chopper to a dirt bike.'

'Not exactly the way I remember it.'

'Ya still wanna learn to ride it?'

Asha's squirmed backwards and her eyes flashed to him.

'Yeah. Really? Hell yes.' She grinned. 'Why the change of heart? You've pretty much made an art form of threatening me to stay away from it since then.'

He guessed he kind of had. He genuinely hadn't wanted her—or anyone else—near the bike. It was all he had left of Merle and he wasn't willing to share. Though he had to admit, Merle probably would have been ok with Asha on his bike. He suddenly remembered an old calendar Merle had, featuring a different scantily clad woman draped over a different bike each month. Merle had kept the bloody thing for ten years or so past its actual date—and spent far too much time in the bathroom with the damn thing. Merle probably would have gotten a kick out of seeing Asha on his bike—she was pretty enough to give any of those jumped up tarts a run for their money—of course Merle would have wanted her to be wearing as little as possible...

_Christ_.

Daryl dragged his mind away from there, suddenly becoming painfully aware of Asha's trembling body pressed up against him. He struggled for a moment trying to recall where the conversation was up to.

'Might come in handy some day,' he finally deadpanned.

She smiled as if she knew that wasn't the real reason.

He moved his arm and poked the pack she had pillowed under her head—Nash's pack.

'Sorry it didn't lead anywhere.'

Asha sighed, shrinking in on herself.

'I know,' she mumbled into his chest. 'Always knew it was gonna be a long shot.'

She'd nagged him for weeks after the Governor had vanished, until eventually he'd given in and taken her out to Douglasville on the bike. With the Governor still unaccounted for, Rick was still refusing to let her take one of the cars—and Daryl had figured it was worth taking the bike just to get her off his back.

Damn woman could be a persistent pest when she wanted to be.

It had been a total bust.

When they'd set out, Asha had been near bouncing with nervous excitement, convinced they were going to find a sign from her brother, either in Douglasville or one of the towns they'd passed on the way—and she'd made them stop and search every damn town they'd passed through.

She'd plastered them with her own signs of course, but it had been like watching the life drain out of her when they came up empty handed each time. Her shoulders had gradually folded in on herself and by the time they'd turned back to the prison, her face had been dead eyed and bleak lined. She'd spent the next two days laying in her cell in silence, waving off the attempts of the group to speak to her.

Daryl realised his arms had tightened around her at the memory and he forced them to relax.

They hadn't found Nash turned. That had been something, but she'd just looked at him flat eyed when he'd said as much.

'Did I ever thank you for coming with me?' she asked quietly.

'Way I remember it ya didn't give me much choice.'

'Could have gone myself if you'd let me take the bike.'

He snorted.

'Well, in case I didn't say it before, thank you.' Her face was still turned towards his chest. 'You didn't have to come with me because of Merle you know.'

His brow creased.

''S not why I did it.'

He was silent for a moment. There was several ways he could put it, but underneath it all, there was a very simple reason.

'Just didn't like the idea of ya being out here alone,' he eventually murmured into her hair.

Asha curled in closer to him, until her forehead was pressed against his chest.

He kept his arms around her whilst she stopped shivering and her body eventually relaxed into sleep.

Then he closed his eyes and tried hard to think about anything other than how good she felt nestled up against him.

* * *

**[A/N: So, what did you think about getting in Daryl's head?**

**Also, just to clarify, the bulk of Part II is still going to be Asha's POV (although I think there may be the occasional Daryl chapter). This wasn't originally from Daryl's point of view either, b****ut I think it kinda works here as this is really a linking chapter to cover the jump in time between the end of Part I and where Part II really picks up with the next chapter (hence the 'Prologue' heading).]**


	21. Chapter 21

**[A/N: So this is up a little later than my usual schedule. Couldn't get into my fanfiction account for the last couple of days, some sort of server issue. But this is the longest chapter I've posted, so it's probably a fair trade off.]**

* * *

It can't end like this.

Asha choked, lungs burning, breath hard and frantic. Elbow jammed hard against the throat of the deadhead pinning her to the ground, she tried to force back the teeth snapping in her face. Her right arm, with her spear gun in hand, was twisted beneath her where she had fallen awkwardly.

There were other walkers, she could hear them moving through the trees and her nose was full of the stink of them.

Her blood thumped in her ears. She had to get this one off her fast.

Teeth bared, she forced up through her shoulders against the walker's weight and dug hard with her arm—grimacing as her elbow sank into the soft flesh of its throat and then sobbing with relief as she as she jerked sharply to the left, rolling the walker away from her and spraying ragged chunks of its throat across the grass. Right arm finally free, she swung her spear through its skull and scrambled to her feet.

Too close.

Now for god's sake don't fall again.

She forced herself to a shambling run, the closest to a sprint she could manage, following a gentle curve around to the right which would, hopefully, let her outdistance the walkers and double back to Michonne.

They had been searching a little town, Michonne leading both their horses because, well, Asha didn't like horses and the horses seemed to return the feeling. One of the stupid beasts had got its foot caught in a tangle of wire and rubbish which had collected between some of the abandoned cars on the empty main street. Its panicked snorting and stomping had been enough to draw a hand full of the dead out of their semi comatose states nearby. Between the horses, Michonne had her hands full, so Asha had created a racket, yelling and banging on a bin lid, to draw as many away as possible, shouting to Michonne that she'd double back around to the south.

Not all of the dead had followed of course, but at least it gave Michonne a fighting chance of holding on to the horses.

Asha swerved through the trees, avoiding walkers where she could and taking down those she couldn't avoid as quickly as possible—thankfully managing to keep her feet this time.

Eventually the moans of the dead thinned out. She turned more sharply to her right, settling into a more sustainable jog, and eventually stumbling on to the little road they had entered the town by earlier that morning. It was late spring, or maybe early summer, and the black tarmac was radiating heat in the midday sun. She settled back to a walk, heart rate dropping. Eyes alert along the tree lined road, she strode back towards the town.

Within a few minutes, she was relieved to see Michonne heading towards her, riding one horse and with the reins of the second held loosely in her hand. Both animals seemed to be walking alright to Asha figured no permanent damage had been done to the stupid creature's leg.

'You alright?' Michonne asked as she reached her.

Asha shrugged. She skirted carefully along the side of the beast she had to ride. A nasty piece of work that the children at the prison had incongruously named Buttercup. She pulled a water bottle from the saddlebag and took a long swig.

'Oh, you know, nearly died, but what's new about that? Is it depressing how fucking normal all of this is becoming?'

Michonne's eyes tightened. 'What happened?'

'Tripped and fell, walker got closer then it should have.' She shook her head disgustedly. 'So stupid.'

She looked back down the road towards the town. It was one of those small rural towns in Georgia, that had shared a certain sense of sameness with the next even before the turn. Now they were all virtually indistinguishable, with a depressing uniformity born of shattered windows, refuse and silence where there should have been the sounds of people— of life.

They were about a day and a half on horseback from the prison, searching for the Governor. At Asha's best guess it had been about six or seven months since the assault on the prison. Daryl had been with them in the beginning, grimly determined to find his brother's killer—back when they'd actually had a trail to follow. But even before winter had set in properly, the trail had gone cold and they been forced to had to venture further and further from the prison for longer periods of time. Eventually the bitter weather had forced them to give up the search entirely for a while, and when the weather warmed, Daryl had refused to come back out with them. Said his time was better spent hunting and on supply runs than in a blind search for a dead man.

Asha missed him, more than she had expected to, and definitely more than she should.

The sensible thing would have been to follow Daryl's lead. You could hardly call what she and Michonne were doing 'tracking'. Without Daryl, and with the trail cold anyway, they were really operating on logic and intuition as they kept expanding the search in loops around the prison. It would be dumb luck as much as anything if they found any sign of the Governor.

Every time they returned to the prison, Asha expected Michonne to suggest that they let it go—but so far, within a couple of days of being back each time, Michonne had sought her out with a new plan of where they should check next. And whilst ever Michonne was willing to traipse the countryside, Asha was happy for the company. She'd be doing it anyway. She wanted to find the Governor, she believed with every part of her that they would be safer with him in the ground—but her primary motivation had always been searching for Nash.

Asha wiped her hand across the back of her mouth and screwed the lid back on the water bottle.

'What d'ya reckon?' she asked. 'Exhausted the possibilities of this backwater?'

'And then some.'

Michonne got down from her horse, pulled out a tattered map and spread it over her saddle.

'Still got a couple of hours of light left. Push on?'

Asha came over and looked at the faded lines on the map. She jabbed at a point with her forefinger.

'Yeah. I reckon we can make it to that farmhouse with the apple tree for the night. That'll put us in easy reach of the prison tomorrow.'

'Hmmm, easy… even with the way you ride.' The corner of Michonne's mouth lifted in a smirk.

Asha looked at their horses with distaste. 'Fucking horses. I hate horses. If you weren't so insistent on goin' cross country all the time we could take one of the cars.'

'Better to conserve the fuel.'

'What about conserving my ass? Feels like its been pounded into a pancake this last week.'

Still Asha couldn't help smiling. They had been away a good week this time, and it would be good to get back. Although they spent more time away from the prison than at it these days, knowing it was there and they could go back made all the difference. Asha was thoroughly looking forward to sleeping through the night and seeing the group. Daryl's face leapt into her mind and she quickly bit down on her bottom lip.

She flicked open the saddlebag, checking the crossbow bolts she'd found were still inside, and then breathed a sigh of relief as she poked them aside and saw her other gift for Daryl still tucked safely beneath them.

Michonne was watching her.

'What?'

'Nothing.' The dark skinned woman bit down on the corner of a smile.

'Damn right nothing,' Asha snapped.

'Yep, there is a whole lotta nothin' in the way you watch him when he's not looking.'

Asha felt her face heating.

'It's not like that,' she said, and then immediately regretted it. Dammit, why did she even feel the need to defend herself? There was nothing going on. Hell, if anything he'd been keeping his distance since that night she'd crawled under his blankets for warmth. She should have known that was going to freak his shit out. Not that she'd been thinking that then of course. At the time she'd just been cold.

She refused to be sorry about it though. Apart from anything else, she'd slept better in his arms then she had in ages.

And if she hadn't been able to get him out of her mind since then, well, that was her problem, especially since he'd never given her any indication he cared about her any more than he cared about any of their group.

Maybe it had just been a hell of a long time since she'd been laid.

She gave the buckle closing the saddle bag a hard yank. Then she arched both her brows at her companion. 'You think I didn't see you picking up that straight razor for Rick a couple of towns ago?'

Michonne grimaced slightly and coughed awkwardly, then opened her eyes wide and innocently at Asha. 'So what? You've seen him. His face is losing the war.'

'Uh huh. Yes it is.' She put a booted foot in her stirrup. 'But that hasn't made me, or anyone else, feel the need to bring him home a razor.'

Michonne laughed. 'Well, if Daryl's anything to go by, you like your men a little scruffy.'

Asha grinned and shrugged. Couldn't argue with that. She swung up into her saddle, wincing a little as she settled into the saddle. She hadn't been exaggerating about her ass.

'Oh I'm not judging,' she said still grinning. 'Rick's gonna carry that grief around with him forever unless you make him let it go.'

Michonne glared at her.

'Shut up.'

The dread locked woman swung up in to her own saddle. She looked back towards the town.

'Go back through town or cut around?'

'Around,' Asha grunted, accepting the obvious topic change. 'Place has been cleaned out.'

She shaded her eyes and looked around. There looked to be a treeline following a gully off to the left, which would keep them out of the woods she'd just stirred up the walkers in.

'Looks to be a creek down that way. Be good to top up the water supplies.'

'Lets do it.'

Michonne led them off the road towards the gully. There was a large sign on the side of the road reading 'Welcome to Fairburn.' The paintwork was faded and peeling in the corners.

'Hold up,' Asha called. She nudged Buttercup gently towards the sign and then carefully looped the reigns around the saddle bow as the horse began grazing on the overgrown grass around the base of the signpost.

She pulled a can of spray paint from her pack, the agitator rattling as she gave it a good shake. Buttercup looked up at the sudden 'kssst' of expelled paint, but quickly went back to munching on the grass. Asha took advantage of the having the whole sign to work with and plastered it with big bold markings. In bright pink paint, there was no way anyone who came through was going to miss it.

'So how does this code of yours work?' Michonne asked behind her.

She'd drawn a large cross, like a plus sign, and was filling in detail in each of the quadrants. She answered as she sprayed. 'One quadrant has the date—as much of a date as we can manage these days.' In the top left she'd sprayed a '2' followed by 'sp'. 'Second spring after the turn,' she explained. 'Diagonally opposite the date we put either a random number or a random direction—north south west etc. In the other two quadrants we put the direction we're going in one, and then opposite it, the distance to camp, if we have one, or a dash, if we're on the road and don't know how far we're going.'

'What's with the random number or direction?'

Asha shrugged. 'It's just meant to confuse anyone trying to figure out the code.'

'Clever,' Michonne said. 'A little over the top maybe, but clever.'

Asha laughed. 'Yeah, it's not exactly shorthand, but we were a bit paranoid when we came up with it.'

'After your sister?'

'Hmmm.' Asha was glad when Michonne didn't push for details. Michonne was good like that.

Asha leant back and surveyed her work. It was offensively pink. She felt a strong need to squint.

'Well, he's not going to miss that one.' Michonne said. 'It practically glows.'

Michonne was also good at not pointing out that they hadn't seen any sign of Nash in the months they'd been searching. But to be fair, Asha thought wryly, she didn't make a big point of the fact that they hadn't seen signs of the Governor in a long time either.

Just a pair of addicts enabling each other.

* * *

The sun was low in the afternoon sky when they arrived back at the prison the following day. A warm breeze rustled through the knee high grass as they rode the horses out of the woods.

The prison had changed since the first time Asha had seen it. The front gate had been replaced by two heavy metal doors scavenged from a garage. Hooked to a pulley system, they meet in a V pointing back down the main road and were surrounded by a ring of sharpened wooden stakes. Anyone trying to charge the gates with a vehicle would find the going a hell of a lot harder this time.

It warmed Asha's heart to see it. She only wished the rest of the fences were in as good a condition. As they crossed the bridge over the canal she could see the sag in the outer of the double line of fences, stretching away from the gate on either side. They hadn't been designed to stand up to constant pressure, and the never ending presence of the dead pushing against them was starting to tell—even though the upright poles of the fence had been reinforced with wooden logs braced behind them.

They nudged the horses to a trot as the gates started to open. Asha could make out Carl working the pulley system near the inside fence. She swore the boy had doubled in size since she'd first met him. His father's sheriff hat was pulled down over his eyes but he was grinning at both of them as they rode into the yard.

'You're back!'

'We're back.'

Asha swung down wearily from the saddle, wincing as she did so.

'Still haven't learnt to ride properly Asha,' Carl teased.

She nudged him in playfully in the shoulder. 'Can't be good at everything I guess. Where's ya dad?'

Carl waved generally in the direction of the slipshod shed that had sprung up in the middle of the yard. 'Feedin' the pigs I think.'

Asha nodded and headed in that direction.

'Ya bring me anything?' Carl asked Michonne excitedly behind her. Michonne laughed, and Asha heard her digging around in her bag. She knew the black woman went out of her way to bring home comics for the boy. That reminded her of her own finds on their last trip, and she felt a warm glow of anticipation start in her stomach.

Rick was covered to the knees in mud, and he had a smear of mud through the fairly impressive beard he was cultivating. He slipped around the pig sty, scooting the occasional half grown pig out of the way with a boot. Last winter, they'd managed to round up a handful of pigs—feral or escaped from a farm after the turn—and in spring one of the sows had had litter of piglets. Rick wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand, looked up and saw Asha leaning against the fence of the sty.

'Hello farmer Rick.'

'Hello wandering woman.'

Rick's eyes darted around behind her. 'Michonne?'

'She's with Carl. How goes the growing of things?'

Rick smiled, a slow genuine smile that made his face glow as it spread across his face.

'It's good. Real good. Come see.'

Asha smiled in response.

He climbed out of the sty and headed across to the neat rows of vegetables planted out across the yard. He pointed proudly at the new plantings and growth since Asha had been there last, but Asha noticed his eyes went first to the gate to see for himself that Michonne was there.

It had taken her by surprise mid winter when she'd realised she didn't harbour any antagonism towards Rick. He'd stepped away from any control of the group after the addition of the Woodbury people, leaving things to their newly appointed council. And he'd taken up farming.

Asha found herself shaking her head wryly as she followed him across the yard, digging around in the saddle bag as she went. It had seemed strange at first, but now she had to admit it suited him. He was relaxed, he was friendly. He laughed. Asha genuinely hoped from him that he'd been able to—if not put his demons to rest—at least get them somewhere he could manage them. Now that he wasn't holding the groups' lives in his hand, she found her wariness around him had been replaced with an easy camaraderie.

'Here,' she said, when he finally paused. She held out her hand with several packets of seed in them, vegetables for the most part, but a handful of herbs as well. Rick took them greedily. 'Went through a hardware store whilst we out.' She shrugged. 'Dunno if they're still any good, but worth a try right?'

Rick was shuffling quickly through the packets.

'Definitely.' He held out a packet grinning, 'Pumpkin, damn, we haven't had any of this til now.'

Asha found herself grinning back. 'No problem. Is Daryl around?' she asked casually.

The corner of Rick's mouth quirked and he nodded.

'Got back from a hunt a few days ago—bought a dear back the clever bastard. Been keepin' us going most of the week.' The quirk at the corner of Rick's mouth turned into a grin. 'Hasn't gone back out again yet. Judging from the way he's been snapping everyone's head off the last couple of days, I'd say he's been waiting for you to get back.'

Asha ignored the heat spreading up her neck—hoping to god it wasn't noticeable.

'Yeah. He'll be happy he doesn't have to come out lookin' for us.'

* * *

'Carol! Hey!'

Asha caught up to the silvery haired woman as she laboured under a large bucket of water headed towards cell block C.

'Asha!' Carol turned with a warm smile, put down the bucket and greeted her with a hug. 'You're back,' she leant back to look her in the eye. 'In one piece, too.'

'Yep.' She matched Carol's smile. In the six or so months she'd gotten to know Carol she'd developed a lot of respect for the woman. She was resourceful, tough—and she worked so hard for the people in the prison. Asha respected that.

They could almost be friends...

'How's it been here?'

'Oh yeah, holding down the fort. Got a few more new ones in the last week, a father and his son.' Carol smiled. 'Still amazes me that there's people surviving on their own out there.'

Asha squeezed her arm as she stepped away from her. 'We can't be the only ones. What were their answers?'

Carol counted them off on her fingers. One. 'Who the hell keeps count these days.' Two. 'Three..for the father, one for the son.' Three. 'Two of them attacked them, and then, at some other time, they found the other two trying to steal from them and had to fight for what was theirs.'

Asha three questions were a testing ground for new arrivals—how many walkers have you killed, how many people have you killed, and—most importantly—why?

It was always a variation on the same answers though—everyone had killed walkers, and almost everyone had killed people—those who had been out there on their own certainly had, and each group out there had at least one person who'd killed someone. Always for some version of self defence, of course.

Asha didn't rate the three questions as a gateway. But it was what the Council had come up with, and Council business was Council business as far as Asha was concerned.

To her knowledge, she was the only person who had admitted to hunting anyone down with the purpose of killing them.

Carol shrugged in response. 'I know you'd like us to be harsher on new arrivals Asha, but the Council is happy how this is working out.'

Asha picked up the bucket and started toward the cell block. 'I know Carol,' whatever you guys think is fine by me.'

Carol was on the Council after all.

'Hey, you seen Daryl?' Carol missed a step and Asha watched out of the corner of her eye as Carol's face closed over.

'Hmmm, he's around here somewhere. Reckon he's due to go out on another hunt soon.'

Carol reached out and took the bucket back from Asha. 'I'll see you around.'

Asha watched her walk into the cell block.

They could almost be friends if it wasn't for that.

* * *

Asha looked across the group of people gathered in the prison courtyard. She had a good view from where she sat cross legged on the catwalk. There must have been fifty odd people—when the hell had they let so many in? Most of them were still strangers to her, given the time she spent away from the prison these days. They milled around in the settling evening light. A couple of hurricane lamps had been lit, but edging into summer the twilight seemed to be endless and they were barely needed.

The smell of grilled deer wafted up on the warm air and Asha's mouth watered. Her eye's tracked across the group, searching for a rangy build and a head of shaggy dark hair. Beth was there, humming to herself as she bounced Judith on her hip, Rick wiggling his fingers in his daughter's face and smiling as she giggled. Tyrese and Sasha were handing out plates of food, whilst Carol stirred the huge pot on the grill—finding several full tanks of gas last fall had been a real godsend. Michonne, Carl and Hershel were sitting at one of the tables, laughing over one of the comics Michonne had brought back.

It was a matter of convenience that they all ate together, but Asha couldn't help but be reminded of the camping trips she'd taken as a child—where everyone would gather at the end of the day to use the communal fire pit or grill and share a drink. She smiled at the feeling of warmth spreading through her chest at seeing them together. It wasn't quite enough to blot out the hollow feeling at Nash's absence, or even the twinge of sadness she felt when she pictured Merle trying to awkwardly fit into the scene below, but it was something.

Her eyes kept moving, but even as she looked for him, she knew he wouldn't be down there. Too many people. She smiled to herself. He might feed them and protect them, but he wouldn't hang around to socialise.

There was a faint sound to her left. As if her thoughts as summoned him he emerged slowly from the open doorway at the end of the walk. Eyes hooded in the half light, and arms bare—as always—in his leather vest, he had a plate of food in each hand.

Asha tried to ignore her quickening pulse.

He didn't say anything as he came towards her on silent feet, just folded himself down cross legged next to her—close but not touching—and handed her a plate. He held her eyes for a second as he handed it over—they were unreadable, but she drank in their blueness in the fading light.

They ate in silence for a moment.

'This is good,' Asha said appreciatively after a minute. It was. Best she'd had in a long time.

She leant sideways a little and nudged gently him with a shoulder. 'Got you to thank for it of course.'

Daryl grunted. He ate a few more mouthfuls.

'Ya late. Only supposed to be gone a week, been nine days.'

Asha frowned. 'Yeah, hit a bit of weather that slowed us down, and possibly we over estimated how quick we'd be on horseback.'

'How quick you'd be ya mean. Michonne can ride.'

'Bite your tongue. If I ever learnt to ride properly this community would need to find a new running joke to keep them entertained.'

He nodded. 'That's true. Ya oughta see Zach's impression of ya falling sideways out of the saddle when ya were first learning. His eyes sparkled with mirth. 'We're all still tryin' to figure out how ya got Buttercup to throw ya off in the first place, she's the most placid docile mare I've ever seen.'

'Ha,' she said flatly. 'Ha ha.' Bloody Buttercup was a vicious brute and had nearly trampled her when that had happened. 'It wasn't that funny.'

His mouth quirked. 'It was pretty funny. And there ain't no TV anymore.'

He polished off the contents of his plate. Then he picked up the trail of their earlier line of conversation. 'Was starting to think that this time I'd actually have to come lookin' for ya.'

He would have. She knew it—just like her and Michonne would go looking for him or any of the others if they didn't come back from a run.

'You know the rule,' she said gently. 'If we plan on being gone a week, you don't even start to worry till we've been gone ten days.'

He grunted noncommitally.

She knew. The theory and the practicality were different things a lot of the time.

She finished her meal, savouring the pieces of meat and then picking up her plate and licking it to capture all the juices.

Daryl looked at her askance out of the corner of his eye, and she burst into laughter. 'What? You got a problem with my table manners?'

'Ain't I supposed to be the redneck and you've got the fancy education?'

Asha chuckled. 'Before the world ended maybe. Now you're the man that feeds us, and I am damn hungry.'

She licked the plate again for good measure, grinned at him, and then put the plate down. Daryl chewed his bottom lip at her for a moment, eyes narrowed, then dragged his tongue across his own plate to clean it before putting it down.

'There ya go!' Asha approved.

They were both finished, but Daryl didn't show any signs of moving, and Asha was content to sit while he did. They sat there in silence watching the darkness creep in.

'Ya hangin' around for a few days this time?' he said eventually.

'Think so.'

'Good. Don't make plans tomorrow.'

Asha looked at him curiously.

'Got somethin' to show ya.'

'In here or out there?'

'Out there. Might take all day.'

'Jeeze Daryl. I was really looking forward to not spending all day on the road.'

'Be worth it.'

'Do I have to ride that bloody horse?'

He grinned. 'What, Buttercup? What's she ever done to you.'

'She pounded my ass to bits all week.'

'She'd stop doing that if ya learnt to ride properly.'

'Bite me.'

They sat in companionable silence for a moment.

'We're not taking the horses right?'

'Nah, reckon poor Buttercup could do with a break after carrying you around all week. We'll take the bike.'

'Better.'

Much better. Her stomach fluttered as an image of being wrapped around Daryl's back leapt into her mind.

'It'll probably turn into a walker fest the noise that thing makes.'

'Do ya wanna ride the damn horses?'

'Hell no.'

'Haven't seen a lot around where we'll be headed. Reckon we can handle it.'

'At this point I'll take the walkers over the horse anyway. Where we going?'

'Surprise.'

Asha leant back. His profile was etched in the half light, eyes fixed on the courtyard, his chin jutting out slightly as he chewed his bottom lip. She arched an eyebrow at him.

'Surprise?'

_Since when did Daryl Dixon plan surprises?_

'Hmmm.' For an instant there was a smile tugging his lips, before he stomped on it with a serious frown. 'Just bring your spears.'

She nodded. Like she ever went out without them.

'Hey,' she said, leaning over and pulling out the plastic bag she'd been half sitting on. 'Found ya something whilst we were out.'

Daryl's eyes flashed to her as she passed it over. Asha watched him intently as he unwrapped the plastic carefully and pulled out several unopened packets of crossbow bolts. A slow smile spread across his face as he fingered them.

'They ok?' Asha asked, feeling surprisingly anxious. 'Found 'em down the back of a cabinet in a hunting store. Place was pretty much cleaned out, but these days it always pays to look under and behind stuff—amazing how much stuff people missed in the first rush for weapons.'

Daryl nodded, still shuffling through the packs of bolts.

'I didn't know which sort you needed,' Asha said, leaning over him to touch the two different types in his hand. 'So I grabbed everything I could.'

'Always grab everything,' he said. He held out one of the packs, with red fletching on the bolts. 'These are perfect,' then he held out the other type. 'These, not so much. But I can break em apart and repoint and re fletch my other bolts.' He fixed her with an intense look. 'Ya did good.'

Asha shocked herself by blushing a little at the praise. 'Well, gotta keep you in bolts so you can keep us in food right?'

'Pffft.' Daryl blew her off.

Asha swallowed hard and then reached under her leg for her other gift, feeling the soft leather between her fingers. She pressed her lips together nervously and silently held out the black leather gloves to him—watching from the corner of her eye as he put down the bolts and tentatively took them, holding them loosely in his hands as though unsure what to do with them.

_Why did it matter so much whether he liked them?_

'You remember when we went to Douglasville? she asked.

He nodded.

'Your hands froze. I distinctly remember your fingers going white and then blue, and then pretty much refusing to bend.'

He grimaced without looking away from the gloves.

She reached over and brushed the gloves in his hands, smiling wryly. 'This way, next time some irritating person pesters you into a long distance ride in the cold, that won't happen.'

He snorted softly. 'Ain't no-one pestering me into any more rides.'

But he smiled—a tiny quirk of his lips—and shifted one glove against the palm of his hand to measure the size.

It was enough.

Asha felt the tightness in her chest relax. She smiled and leant back on her hands. 'Well, now that I can ride your bike, at least you won't have to worry about it being me.'

He grunted. 'Yeah well, just cause ya know how t' ride it don't mean I'm letting ya near it.'

'Guess i'll just have to be sneaky about it then.'

He growled at her, eyes narrowed behind the dark hair falling across his face, and she laughed at the expression on his face, her laugh growing as his frown deepened.

'I missed you,' she said smiling—without thinking.

'Stop,' Daryl said, still looking at the gloves in his hands.

Asha rolled her eyes.

He pushed himself to his feet, and held out a hand. She took it, enjoying the feel of his rough palm in hers and the strength in his arm as he pulled her to her feet. For a second they stood there, hands held and close together, before Daryl let her go—and Asha found she could breath again.

She pushed her empty plate into his hand. 'Can you take this back from me?'

His brow furrowed for an instant, but he took it.

'Gotta go see your brother,' she said, answering his unasked question.

Daryl's face was suddenly very carefully blank, but he nodded. 'See ya in the mornin' then.'


	22. Chapter 22

**[A/N: Thanks reviewers, new favourites and followers! Glad you guys are enjoying this. SorrowJunky and Leyshla Gisel, you are the best. I really love getting your feedback (hint, hint everyone else). SorrowJunky, the Carol situation will definitely not be a love triangle.] **

* * *

Asha knelt near the wooden cross Daryl had pounded into the ground at the head of Merle's grave so many months ago. After leaving Daryl, she'd gone passed her cell and picked up a couple of items from her saddle bags before heading out through the darkness for the far corner of the yard.

Her fingers pressed into the dark earth at the base of the cross, packing it firmly around the base of the strawberry plant she'd uprooted from one of the suburban homes she'd passed on the last trip out with Michonne. She unscrewed her water bottle and then poured a generous amount over the wilted plant. It hadn't enjoyed its time on the back of the horse—and she'd never had much of a green thumb—but she really hoped the little plant pulled through.

If not, she'd find another one.

She crawled around to the end of the grave and settled there cross legged. She wiped her dirty hands on her jeans and then pulled the second item from her back pocket. She unscrewed the cap from the bottle and inhaled the scent of southern comfort, remembering the time that Merle had come across a cold prison cell bearing the same sweet scent. It was only a hip flask, and it was already more than half gone—she'd found it like that.

She took a deep swig and then poured out a libation at the end of Merle's grave—well away from the fragile little plant she just planted. Then she drained off the last of the southo in a couple of big gulps, grimacing for an instant as the liquid burnt the back of her throat before settling into a warm pleasant glow in her belly.

She sat there in the quiet for a long moment. There were walkers beyond the fence. She could hear them, but the air was still and they couldn't smell her, so they were quiet for the most part. There was no movement in the yard around her. She knew Maggie and Glenn could see her from the guard tower where they were on watch, but she also knew they weren't paying her much attention.

She always came to see Merle after she'd been out for a while.

Eventually she spoke, whispering her words into the warm still air.

'Hey big guy. Been a while since I visited, I know. Don't be mad. Been out with Michonne. Reckon you woulda liked her eventually...respected her anyway. She wouldn't have put up with any of your shit… Still looking for the Governor... Ain't seen any sign of him for a while,' her breath hitched, 'or Nash.' She swallowed hard and rubbed at her face. 'I'm getting so scared that he's gone. Really gone. That all that's left for me is never actually knowing what's happened to him.'

She took a couple of deep breaths, glancing back towards the prison. 'There's a lot more people here now. We keep finding more, bringing them in. Should be a good thing right?' She paused then snorted softly. 'Yeah, reckon you woulda been with me on that one. Not safe.'

The faces of some of the small children they had taken in since Woodbury fell flashed in her mind and she felt ashamed.

'Shit Merle, when did I turn into such a callous bitch. They aren't all bad...they can't be.'

She looked at the faint outline of the cross in the darkness, then swiped both hands down her face past either corner of her mouth.

'Hell Merle, I hope you're not actually here listening to me, but if you are...' Her voice was so faint on the last words that they were nearly lost in the night. '...I miss you.'

She pushed herself up to her feet, head spinning just a little, and took a couple of steps back towards the cell blocks. Then she stopped, stomach fluttering and breathing deeply, before she turned, took two steps back to Merle and sank to her knees, pressing the palms of her hands into the dark earth at the end of the grave.

'Also,' she whispered, 'I may have a thing for your brother.'

She shivered at saying it out loud, but then she cocked her head. She swore she could hear Merle laughing. The sound seemed to grow as she waited.

'It's not funny,' she muttered. 'I've got no idea if he's ever even thought about me like that. And even if he has, your brother's such an emotional cripple, he'll probably never do anything about it.'

Merle laughed harder. She could definitely hear him.

She grimaced and looked at the cross. 'Oh shut up. There's no talking to you when you're like this.

* * *

Daryl lay on his back on the bunk in his cell, one leg braced against the wall and the other resting across it, rolling the soft material of the black gloves between his thumb and forefinger.

He absentmindedly chewed his bottom lip. They picked up things for each other—and everyone else—on runs all the time. Why was this different?

_Ya never asked her to bring this back. _

She did this on her own. Think it counts as a gift. That's gotta mean something right?

He tried to think when he'd last received a gift. A bottle of southo on his birthday a couple of years back from Merle maybe?

_She missed you._

He dropped the gloves on his chest and scrubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. God damn it, but he missed her too. He'd known this was going to happen the night he'd fallen asleep with her in his arms, scent of her hair in his nose, and her twitching gently as she dreamed.

When she'd crawled freezing under his blankets that night, she'd crawled under his skin too.

He'd stopped going out with her and Michonne because he couldn't stop watching her—that and they were never gonna find the Governor now the trail was cold. He had thought it would get her out of his head, but it was almost worse being away from her—definitely worse at times like the last few days when she was late back from a run. Whenever she wasn't right in front of him, he could still feel her there, wormed into the back of his mind. Image of her smile flashing into his mind—usually right when he didn't need the distraction.

_Christ_. If Merle could see him now he would kick his ass for obsessing about a girl...or he'd kick his ass for obsessing about this particular girl.

Either way he was getting his ass kicked.

He laced his fingers under his head, looking up at the unrelieved grey of the walls.

_Screw Merle._

He'd brought her something back too. Did that mean something? He hadn't thought anything about it at the time. Just seen it, and thought it might be useful—but only because he'd been thinking about her at the time.

Again.

What if she thought it was stupid?

He grimaced. He had better things to do than to be worrying about whether Asha was going to like her—his mouth twisted—gift, he supposed it was a gift. It was useful, that was more important these days anyway.

Guess he'd find out what she thought tomorrow.

* * *

She was nearly back to the cell block when she noticed Hershel seated at one of the picnic tables in the courtyard, white hair gleaming in the moonlight.

'Asha,' he called, and she altered course to meet him at the picnic table. 'Sit down.'

She sat, eyes narrowing a little. Something in his demeanour suggested this wasn't an entirely casual conversation.

'What's up Hershel?'

'Just wanted to touch base about how you and Michonne have been doing out on the road?'

Asha shrugged. 'Fine. Haven't come across anything we couldn't handle.'

'Seen any sign of the Governor?'

'Not lately.'

'Your brother?'

Her throat constricted. 'No.'

Hershel nodded to himself.

'Doesn't mean we won't find them,' Asha said. She wasn't really in the mood for a lecture on her chances of finding her brother.

'No it doesn't, and we all want you to Asha really we do, but the fact is, you and Michonne would be better use here—to the group and yourself.'

Asha tried to laugh him off. 'What are you talking about? We bring back enough useful stuff to make it worthwhile even if we never find the Governor.' _Or Nash. S_he couldn't say it out loud. 'What about that untouched drug store we found last month? That was a gold mine.'

'If you were here organising runs you'd be able to clear these places out properly, instead of just bringing back a backpack full.'

'Think of us as scouts, Hershel. Locate the spots and the Council can send out a run.'

'How long ya gonna keep doin' this?'

Her temper suddenly frayed.

'As long as it takes,' she hissed. She grit her teeth, forcing her voice to some semblance of calmness. 'I can't give up on him. Until I know, I can't. I won't do it. He's never given up on me.'

She took a deep shuddering breath. He hadn't. Even when she thought he had, he came back.

'I just don't want you to spend your whole life in this limbo,' Hershel said softly. 'Searching, but never really moving forward. You could make a real life with this group, but you won't give yourself that chance.'

'I can't,' she bit out. 'I need him.'

'You can,' Hershel said. 'He'd understand.'

'You don't know him, you can't say that,' she snapped. But the fact was, she knew that Nash would understand. He wouldn't want her to spend her life aimlessly wandering looking for him—and without a sign from him, she knew that was really what she was doing. For a moment, she tried to think what it would be like to let him go. Her chest constricted and she couldn't breathe. 'I need him,' she gasped.

'Why?'

'I don't trust myself without him.'

'You've been doing alright without him the last few months.'

Asha shook her head and swallowed hard. 'Because all I've done is look for him.'

She looked down at her hands, but she felt Hershel's eyes on her for a long minute.

'You might not ever find him Asha. One of these days you're gonna have to come to terms with that and let him go.'

Hershel reached out to squeeze her hand, but she snatched it away, keeping her eyes away from him. She heard him sigh before he walked away into the cell block, leaving her alone in the dark courtyard.

* * *

**[A/n: Just a short one this time - but there is some quality Daryl and Asha alone time coming up next chapter, which will be up by the weekend.]**


	23. Chapter 23

**[A/N: Thanks new reviewers, favourites and followers. **enchantmentanjel, **I am following the basic outline of the plot in season 4; but there are definitely some points where the story is off canon. The illness thing does happen, but it's not a major focus so it will be dealt with fairly quickly.]**

* * *

It was early, the steely morning light barely breaking over the horizon before the rising sun. But it was already warm, the still air heavy with the promise of baking Georgia heat. No one else from the community seemed to be stirring, but Asha had caught a glimpse of Bob on watch in the guard tower when she'd entered the courtyard.

Asha was virtually bouncing on her toes as she waited by Daryl's bike. She had woken up buzzing with anticipation—a feeling so unfamiliar that it had taken her a moment to recognise it, before she had gotten out of bed grinning. She had lain in bed the night before, mulling over Daryl's surprise before finally dropping off to sleep, and had reluctantly concluded that it had nothing to do with Nash. Daryl wouldn't be so cruel as to keep her in suspense about that.

Still, that left a whole raft of potential experience wrapped up in the word 'surprise.'

Daryl pushed open the door from cell block C and closed it quietly behind him. He had a pack on his back and a garbage bag wrapped bundle in hand which he quickly stuffed into one of the saddlebags on the bike. His crossbow was already resting against the bike.

'What took you so long?' she demanded. 'Ten minutes ago you said you'd be right back.'

It felt like it had been ten minutes anyway.

Daryl shrugged. 'Ya wanna bitch about it or get goin?'

'Going, oh mysterious one,' she teased. 'I wanna know what this is all about.'

Daryl grunted. 'I'm regretting this already.'

'Liar.'

There was the shadow of a smile ghosting about his lips.

'Here,' he said, smirking as he held out his crossbow. 'Wouldn't want it ta smack ya in the face the whole way.'

He swung his leg over bike and stomped on the kickstarter a couple of times until the bike roared to life. 'Well, get the gate.'

Asha stuck her tongue out at him, swinging his bow across her back next to her spear and jogging across to open the gate. She waved to Bob as she pulled it shut behind them and swung behind Daryl, resenting for an instant that his pack kept her from resting up against his back.

_God woman. Get yourself under control._

They rode for about an hour, maybe an hour and a half. Asha drifted, lulled by the constant thrum of the bike's engine and the hypnotic flashes of light and dark cast by the sunlight through the trees. She was starting to get stiff though, so it was with some relief that she got off the bike when Daryl pulled off the side of the back country lane they were driving and dragged the bike into the bushes so it was concealed from the road.

'We walk from here,' he said as she stretched.

Asha followed him into the dappled sunlight beneath the trees, breathing in the warm earthy scent of the woods. Suddenly Daryl jerked a hand up sharply to stop her.

Ahead she could hear the rustling of something large, too clumsy to be an animal. Walker then. Her heart beat quickened as her suspicion was confirmed—when what used to be a middle aged man stumbled towards them, hands grasping and milky eyes alight with animal hunger. It met a quick end as Daryl held it at arms length by the throat and ground the point of his hunting knife home between its eyes.

'Better give me that,' he said wiping the knife on his pants. Asha had automatically swung his crossbow off her back when the walker had appeared, but it wasn't much use other than as a club in her hands. She passed it over.

They walked in silence through the woods. Asha noticing how Daryl was both hyper alert and completely relaxed beneath the trees. His booted footsteps silent under the buzz of insects in the undergrowth and his head moved constantly as his eyes scanned the area in front of them. There was a different set to his shoulders, as thought some of the tension he always carried had loosened and when she saw his profile as he scanned the wood, the hard lines at the corners of his mouth had faded. Asha found herself smiling slightly as she followed him, trying to keep the noise from her own steps down to a minimum.

She heard it before she saw it. The gentle gurgle and fresh tang of moving water filling the air before she glimpsed it between the trees, surface sparkling in the sunlight. The trees thinned and turned into a long grassy bank, where the river curved sharply around to the left leaving a deep pool of quiet water along the shore. The ripples on the surface would have been enough to tell Asha there were fish there, even without the dark shadows she could see moving through the clear water.

Asha tipped her head back as she walked out from under the trees, feeling the heat of the sun on her skin and the smile spreading on her lips. Daryl paused, shrugged off the pack and leant back against one of the trees in the shade. He gestured towards the water with his head. Asha grinned, kicked off her boots and socks, rolled up her jeans and waded into the water. The rocky bottom was slippery under foot and the water was delightfully cool.

'This is my surprise?' she said, looking out over the river, letting the sound and sight of the water refill something in her that she hadn't realised she'd been missing. 'It's beautiful.'

Daryl grunted.

'This isn't the Yellow Jacket is it?' she asked a little sadly.

'No.'

_Not likely to see any sign of Nash then._

She turned around to look at him. 'We goin' swiming?'

'You are.'

'I am?'

He nodded and gestured towards the deeper water. 'Fish right? 'Bout time someone other than me brought some damn meat home.'

Asha moved back onto the grassy bank and walked around the edge of the pool, wet feet padding quietly on the grass. There were a few trees growing close along the edge, she should be able to get out over the water with her spear in a few spots—not ideal, but workable. She nodded to herself and turned back around to fetch her spear.

She sat down to change out her walker spear for one still suitable for fish.

She hadn't realised Daryl had moved until his shadow fell over her. He blotted out the sun for a second until he crouched down next to her, the bundled up garbage bag held in one hand. He thrust it towards her, chewing on his bottom lip.

Asha took the package from him, watching his guarded eyes behind the dark hair falling across his face. She unwrapped the package carefully and then held the items in her hands, a slow smile spreading across her face. He'd found, god knows how, a pair of swimming goggles and short fins, the type people used for lap training. She looked up at him smiling.

He was still chewing his bottom lip and his eyes were shadowed behind his hair. He shrugged a little awkwardly.

'Ya always saying ya do better when ya can get in the water with the fish. Ain't proper dive gear, but thought it might help.'

Asha grinned at him. 'Yeah, this'll work.'

She looked back at deep pool of water, which suddenly seemed to hold a whole lot more opportunities. Then she frowned as she remembered she hadn't kept any rubbers on her spear in months—no need when she never shot the damn thing. She had a couple back at the prison, but that wasn't much help to her at the moment. She might be able to get in the water, but she wouldn't be able to fire the gun. She mentally shrugged, she'd just have to use it like a hand spear—less ideal, but wouldn't be the first time she'd gone hunting with a hand spear.

Daryl had seen the frown on her face. 'What?' he asked.

'Nothing—I just left some of my gear back at the prison.'

Daryl grunted, and reached behind him for his pack. Asha's mouth dropped, then widened into a smile as he then pulled out both spare rubbers, all her spare floppers, and the last of her line—most of that having been co-opted off to other purposes over the last few months. She was pleased to note that there was still enough length to secure the spear to the gun with a good three to four metres of operational range.

A self satisfied smile was tugging at the corners of Daryl's lips. 'Wasn't sure what you'd need, so brought it all.'

'You're brilliant Daryl,' she reached out and squeezed his hand before picking up the rubbers to check their elasticity.

She watched him out of the corner of her eye as she strung up her gun. That self satisfied smile was out in the open now, and he stretched out on his back in the shade of a nearby tree, watching her work.

She didn't have a float or fish stringer, or even a mesh bag for any fish she caught, but she could work around that. After, a few moments of work she ran her fingers over her gun, checking everything was where she wanted. And then she suddenly stopped.

'Ah, Daryl...'

'Mhmmm'

'You didn't happen to grab my swimmers or a change of clothes whilst you were rummaging around my cell did you?'

Daryl suddenly became very interested in the leaves on the trees spreading above him. Asha could see the red stain creeping up his neck. He shook his head.

'A towel?'

He pressed his lips together as the blush crept onto his face. He shook his head again.

Asha couldn't help it, she burst into laughter—as much at Daryl's obvious discomfort as anything else.

'Damn woman,' he grumbled. 'I was thinking about the bloody fish not you.'

Asha chortled, shaking her head. 'Good thing I've got black underwear on today,' she said. Daryl's face was bright red.

She stripped down to her underwear and dropped her gear on the edge of the bank. Then she walked into the water that dropped down to chest level quickly. She closed her eyes and slipped under the surface of the water, enjoying the feel of the current shifting across her skin and carrying away the sweat and grime. The sensation was so pleasant that she was tempted for a moment just to drift away with the current, but then she stood up, wiped the water off her face and scrubbed her hands along her limbs to get rid of the dirt. She ducked back under the water. It felt so good to be clean.

She looked up to the bank where Daryl was stretched out on his back under the trees, one arm folded behind his head, crossbow held loosely in his other hand.

'Ya commin' in?' she called.

'Nup, someone's gotta keep watch.'

'Is that what ya doing? Reckon you could manage a quick dip.'

'Nah.' He kept his eyes on the trees above him.

'Come on Daryl. Feels really good to get clean.' She scooped up some water in her hands and tipped it over her face.

He didn't answer her.

'Ok, let me rephrase that. Daryl Dixon, you fucking stink. Get in here and clean up.'

He propped himself up on his elbows and looked at her, dark hair falling in his eyes. Asha's skin tingled and she suddenly remembered she was wearing only her underwear.

There was a flash of something across his face, and then his jaw tightened.

'No.' He laid back on his back and he waved his hand towards the water. 'Go catch dinner.'

Asha was glad he wasn't looking to see the pink in her face. She should have known he was far too awkward to come anywhere near her whilst she was just in her underwear—even if that was his fault.

She quickly scooped up her gear from the bank, pulled on the fins and goggles and slipped back into the water with her gun. She pulled in a deep breath and dropped under the surface and kicked slowly into the deep pool of water.

The rocky riverbed leapt up to meet her, magnified slightly through the water. It wasn't a huge pool, but the visibility was good, and she could see plenty of fish skirting the rocks along the bank and flitting through the water further ahead of her. She could see a couple of decent sized fish hanging under rock overhangs. She grinned this was—almost literally—going to be like shooting fish in barrel.

She broke the surface and filled and emptied her lungs a few times before drawing in a deep breath and dropping under the surface. She flicked her fins gently and skirted along a couple of metres out and parallel to the rock overhang sheltering the fish she had her eye on, bringing her spear gun around underneath her. Once the fish was in line, she squeezed the trigger gently and the spear leapt forward, collecting it right behind the gills. Asha felt a familiar surge of triumph and grinned before reeling in her spear, fish attached.

She whooped in delight as she broke the surface. Daryl was standing at the edge of the water.

'Starting to think you'd drowned,' he said sourly.

Asha grinned. 'No chance. Here,' she gave a couple of strong kicks towards the bank until she could stand up and then pulled the gun and line out of the water so Daryl could see her fish. 'Know what type of fish this is?'

Daryl squinted at it. 'Bass, maybe.'

'You don't know?'

'You don't?'

'If it doesn't live in the ocean I don't know what it is. What's your excuse? You're the native Georgian, and...' she waved her hand vaguely, '...wilderness expert.'

'Was never that keen on fish.' He shrugged. 'Couldn't shoot 'em.'

Asha grinned and held up her gun. 'Ya wanna go?'

'Nah, gonna take more than one fish to feed all of us. Ya better get back to it.' He gestured to the fish on the line. 'Ya want me to take that?'

'Nah, I'll keep it on the line for now.' She tied a quick slipknot to keep it from sliding down the line. 'Stay fresher in the water than on the bank. Reckon we'll need about twenty of this size right?'

He arched both his eyebrows at her. 'If ya can get that many.'

She grinned again. 'That, my friend, will not be a problem.'

Then she slipped back into the water and lost herself in the familiar rhythms of breath holds and stalking fish.

Sometime later—after a pause for a canned lunch Daryl had brought from the prison—Asha tossed her last haul of fish on to the pile on the grassy bank. Twenty two good sized bass—if Daryl was right about them being bass of course. She ran her hands over her hair and down her ponytail to squeeze out as much water as possible. Then she stood there, smiling proudly, water wrinkled hands on hips. Daryl came over and stood next to her.

'Aren't they beautiful?' she asked.

Daryl grunted.

'Help me clean them?'

'No-one ever helps me.'

'You start bringing home twenty squirrels at a time and I'll help you clean 'em.'

Daryl grunted again and she noticed that he was very carefully looking anywhere other than at her. Her smile grew into a grin. She reached over and shoved him in the arm. His eyes flicked to her automatically.

'It's just underwear,' she said, both brows raised. 'Come on, give me a hand. It'll take me forever if I have to do it by myself.'

'Fine.'

She went back to her clothes and collected her knife, then she knelt down next to Daryl and they started working through the pile. Asha started humming—fairly tunelessly—as she worked, until she noticed Daryl was watching her out of the corner of his eye.

'What?'

'Ya look...different.'

She arched an eyebrow at him. 'Well it's not often that I clean fish in my underwear.'

'Nah. That's not what I meant.'

She turned her head to look at him properly. 'Different?'

'Dunno...relaxed maybe?'

'Well, Nash did always say that I got cranky when my gills dried out,' she laughed. 'Not that he was one to talk, he'd near have a panic attack if he couldn't smell the salt water.'

She paused, but not even the surge of loss and the familiar ache in her stomach couldn't completely wipe the smile off her face. It was then that she realised what she was feeling. She was happy. Her hands stilled in the fish she was gutting.

_Happy._

Daryl looked at her and then quickly looked around, searching for whatever had thrown her. 'What is it?' His eyes narrowed.

'Nothing,' she shook her head, feeling a stunned little smile spread on her face as she went back to work. 'Nothing.'

He looked at her a moment longer before turning back to the fish himself.

It had been so long since she'd felt happy that she took a minute to revel in the feeling, before wondering how it had snuck up on her. Then she looked at the scruffy man next to her, eyes intent and deft hands working through her catch, and she stopped analyzing it. Didn't matter how it had happened, it was enough that it had.

She went back to humming, watching the corner of Daryl's mouth quirk.

'Am I supposed to recognise that tune?' he asked.

'Nope. Couldn't hold a tune if my life depended on it.'

'Maybe ya should stop then?'

'Bite me.'

She kept humming. Suddenly a branch snapped beyond the bushes away from the bank. Asha and Daryl both froze, narrowed eyes on the bushes as a guttural snarl confirmed there was a walker coming in their direction. They both stood, knives in hand, waiting, until a walker reeled brokenly through the bushes and crashed in their direction. There was only one. Asha felt her lip lifting in a snarl as she moved to meet it—but Daryl was quicker, stopping her with a hand on her collar bone and stepping in front of her. He kicked the walker in the side of the leg and then planted his knife in its temple. The peaceful sound of insect life seemed to swell in the quiet as its guttural snarls were suddenly cut off.

Asha looked at Daryl a little confused as he flicked the blood off his knife. 'Not that I'm objecting as such, but what was that? You think I can't handle a lone walker?'

Daryl shrugged, his eyes flickering over her before latching back on her face. 'Too much skin. Coulda been scratched.'

Asha felt a pull in her stomach that he'd thought of keeping her safe. _Don't be stupid, he thinks of keeping everyone safe. _She also felt her face heating. Wasn't the smartest idea to be hanging around her underwear. 'Oh, right. Thanks.'

'Ya oughta get changed. I'll finish this.' He nodded at the couple of fish they had left to clean. 'Reckon the smell'll draw more walkers the longer we hang around.'

Asha nodded, holding her knife out. 'Use this, I'll clean yours.'

They swapped blades, and Asha went down to the river, watching the scales, bits of fish guts and walker blood flutter away in the water.

She pulled on her clothes as Daryl finished with the last of the fish—fortunately her underwear had mostly dried whilst they were cleaning the fish. Then there was another rustle in the undergrowth, this time further along the edge of the bank. Daryl's crossbow was in his hands in an instant, aimed low to the ground at the sound, and Asha tightened her grip on his hunting blade.

The leaves on the bush shook for a moment, and then whiskers and a flat nose appeared, followed quickly by the rest of a scrawny orange tabby cat. The creature paused on seeing them, nose twitching in the air.

Daryl muttered something and went back to collecting his gear. Asha grinned and started towards the little creature, scooping up a bit of fish guts on the way. She crouched down a few paces away and held out the fish guts. The scruffy animal's golden eyes lit up and it came towards her tentatively, its whole body vibrating with a broken sounding purr. It licked her fingers clean and rubbed up against her, purring away. She scooped it up under the belly, feeling its protruding rib cage, and scratched it behind the ears when it didn't protest.

'You hungry there little puds?' she asked softly. She deposited the scrawny thing near the pile of fish guts, watching fondly as it started eating. She realised Daryl was watching her.

'What?'

'Puds?'

She shrugged, feeling her face go pink. 'Yeah. Pussy cat. Puddy tat. Puds.'

She could see him biting on a smile.

'Shut up. I like cats.'

They collected the fish, wrapping them in the garbage bag in which Daryl had brought the goggles and fins—they'd fit in one of the saddlebags on the bike. Then they collected their gear, ready to head back to the bike. Asha glanced around the clearing. The shadows were just starting to lengthen beneath the trees and the river looked to be made of beaten gold in the gleaming afternoon sun.

She grabbed Daryl's arm and pulled him to face her. His brows furrowed.

'Thank you,' she said. 'This is the best day I've had in a long time.'

'Was nothin'.' He tried to shrug her off.

She kept hold of him. 'It's not nothing. I got to do something today that I'm good at—something from before the turn that I used to love and that I hadn't let myself miss.' Her eyes searched his, desperately needing him to understand how much it meant to her. 'You made me happy today Daryl. That's not nothing. That's everything.'

His eyes widened a little at her words and she held his gaze a moment longer, drinking in the surprise in his blue eyes, before smiling at him and dropping his arm.

She walked over to the little cat, stretched out snoozing near the pile of fish guts, sated for the moment. She gave him a final scratch. 'Don't get eaten little puds', she said sadly and then started back into the trees towards the bike.

She had only taken a few steps before she realised Daryl wasn't following and turned back.

He was staring at the ground where she'd left him. For a moment she just drank in the view of him, surrounded by the golden afternoon haze, bare armed in his angel winged vest and crossbow held loosely in his hand. Mostly though, she drank in the sight of the small smile tugging at his lips, and felt one tugging her own in response.

'Hey,' she called, and for a moment when he looked at her there was more light in his eyes than Asha had ever seen there before, and a warmth tugged in Asha's chest. He raked his hand through his hair before walking over to the little cat and scooping him up.

Asha arched her brows in question at him.

'What? We could do with a ratter at the prison.'

Asha smiled, blinking quickly a couple of times to quell the sudden stinging in the back of her eyes.

'Thanks,' she said.

Daryl nodded.

The Dixon walls were back up as he met her gaze, but Asha had seen the earlier glow in his eyes, and she wanted to see it again.

* * *

Asha settled herself on the back of the motorbike. Asha smiled as she saw Daryl scratch the scruffy cat gently behind the ears when he thought she wasn't looking. Then he handed the little creature over, and she tucked it into the top of his pack, leaving it slightly open so it could poke its head out if it wanted. She watched the pack move around a little bit before, purring loudly and brokenly, the cat settled down.

Asha grasped Daryl lightly around the hips and waited for him to start the bike.

He didn't.

After a long moment he turned his head so he could see her out of the corner of his eye over his shoulder. 'We could have more days like this,' he said. 'God knows I could use the help feedin' everyone.'

Asha's heart leapt—both at the thought of having more days like this with Daryl and at making a useful contribution to the people at the prison.

'Well, we wouldn't want to fish out that pool so we'd need to find more than that one spot,' she said, 'but I am happy to go fishing with you any time I'm back.'

He was silent for a moment. 'Ya could stop going out so often,' he said quietly.

Asha's hands tightened automatically on his hips. He must have felt it.

He turned his head back towards the front of the bike, but he kept going. 'Ya have to keep going further and further out. Ya always gone at least a week. Ya ain't seen any sign of Nash, or the Governor, for months. Ya more help here, keeping these people fed...safe. You and Michonne both.'

Asha felt the good feeling from the day drain away as quickly as the water from the river had flowed off her body. Her throat constricted and her mouth was suddenly dry. The worst part was, she knew he wasn't wrong. As she opened her mouth, still searching for the words, Daryl continued, 'Wouldn't have ta worry 'bout ya so much if ya weren't goin' out so far.'

She swallowed hard, fighting the surge of guilt. Worry was part of the deal these days unfortunately. 'I worry about you too when i'm gone,' she said in a small voice. She trembled. It was the closest she'd come to telling him how she felt about him. 'Might be easier for both of us if you were still coming out with us.'

He stiffened under her hands. 'Ya know I can't.'

She sighed. 'I know.' Didn't stop her missing him thought. 'Just please...' her voice shook and she bit down on her bottom lip. 'Please understand that I can't give up on him.'

No matter what spin was put on it Asha felt in her gut that not looking for Nash was giving him up—and she wasn't ready to face that.

Daryl turned his head so he could catch her out of the corner of his eye again. 'I don't want ya to give up on him, I just want ya to spend some more time around here.'

He was waiting for something.

'I'll think about it,' she forced out.

He nodded, turned, and started the bike.

Asha forced her fingers to relax, but her stomach was tied in knots.

Why had he had to bring that up?

* * *

**[A/N: Thanks for reading - let me know what you think!]**


	24. Chapter 24

**[A/n: I am so sorry, I didn't get my mid week chapter up this week. Work has just been shitballs crazy! Unfortunately, next week is shaping up the same way - so i will try for a mid week post, but no guarantees.**

**Also, reviewers, as always you guys are amazing and your feedback is much appreciated! I really enjoyed all the love the last chapter got - it is one of my favs too, so I am super happy that you guys dig it! I figured Daryl and Asha needed a good day because, lets face it, life in the apocalypse can be kinda tough. ****Leyshla Gisel, you are right about Norman and EITD, and i absolutely feel that it is ok for Daryl to be a cat person because of that. ****Enjoy.]**

* * *

About half an hour down the road, Daryl pulled sharply into an abandoned farm. Asha, who had been drifting, thinking about Nash and wondering whether she really was spending too much time away from the prison, was jolted sharply into awareness by the lurch of the bike onto the gravel drive.

'What are we doing?' she asked as Daryl pulled the bike up, loose rock crunching as the engine died.

'Vege patch,' he grunted, gesturing to the overgrown mess in front of the farm. He shrugged his pack off carefully—checking the cat was still sleeping inside—then pushed open the little garden gate and began rummaging through the plants. Asha got off the bike, rubbing the ache in her neck as she pulled her spear gun and Daryl's cross bow over her head. She left the bow on the back of the bike, but kept the spear gun in hand.

'I'm gonna check round back,' she called.

Daryl grunted without looking up.

It was a smallish farm house. Old before the turn, paint peeling from its sagging timbers. The front door was kicked in and the windows were broken. Asha didn't bother looking inside. There would be nothing useful left.

The long grass whispered around her boots as she walked around the building. At the back of the house, the land dropped away slightly into an open field, stretching away to a distant treeline that cast long shadows in the late afternoon sun. Asha shaded her eyes. There were three dark shapes in the waist high growth in the field, staggering towards the farmhouse—no doubt drawn by the roar of Daryl's bike.

Didn't matter. They'd be gone before the slow moving creatures made it across the field.

She glanced around, but there was nothing useful in the backyard, just a broken watering can and a rusted push bike with flat tyres, half obscured in the overgrown grass. She took a couple of deep breaths, enjoying the feel of the warm air in her lungs and then turned to go back the front of the house.

For an instant, she didn't realise what she was seeing, and her eyes narrowed at black paint marks on the far right of the building. Then her stomach dropped, followed by her jaw. She gasped, both hands pressed to her stomach as she took two shaky steps towards the house. In marks about two feet across, was one of their signs. Her eyes raced over it, and then again more slowly. Her heartbeat thundered. It matched their code perfectly.

First summer after the turn, south west and a dash—still on the road then. She felt a tiny bite of disappointment. And there, at the bottom point of the cross, was an 'N'.

It was definitely Nash.

She stepped up close to the wall, brushing her fingers across the flaking N, and heard a tiny sob break from her mouth. The need to find Nash, dulled by familiarity over the long months since she'd lost him, suddenly flooded back in full force.

Her head jerked around. South west, she had to figure out which way that was. The setting sun gave her a basic idea of where west was, but she hadn't been paying enough attention to know just how far off true west the sun was setting this time of year.

'Daryl!' she screamed. 'Daryl!'

After a long heartbeat, he tore around the corner, cross bow raised, eyes flashing as he looked for the source of her panicked scream. He pulled up short, feet near slipping in the long grass, when he saw her staring at the farmhouse wall.

'South west?' she asked eagerly.

Daryl stood next to her, shoulder brushing hers, as he took in the code. His eyes narrowed, then he turned around, chewing on his lip.

'That way,' he said, pointing across the field and slightly to right.

Asha started in that direction.

'Hell no.' Daryl's hand clamped on her shoulder.

She spun around eyes flashing. 'What the hell?' she demanded.

'Nah. No fucking way.' He shook her shoulder and then let her go. 'Ya gonna lose the light in hour or so. Ya got no supplies, and that fish needs to get back to our people.' He shook his head. 'Don't be a fucking idiot.'

'Damn it,' Asha hissed.

He was right, but she hadn't been thinking of that. The instant she had a trail or her instincts were screaming for her to follow it. 'Why d'ya have to be so fucking reasonable.'

Daryl was glaring at her.

She glared back.

'And right,' she growled. 'You're right, ok.'

She glanced across the field, and then cast a lingering look at the black marks on the wall. Her throat tightened, and she had to steel herself to turn away. Chest heaving, she marched around to the front of the farmhouse.

Daryl followed her and they rode back to the prison in silence.

* * *

They arrived back to the prison as the sun set. Daryl pulled the bike to a stop in the courtyard and killed the engine. Asha put her hand on his shoulder as he dismounted.

'Sorry about before,' she said. 'I wasn't thinking.'

Daryl grunted, pulling his pack off and settling it on the bike seat. 'Merle said ya had a blind spot when it came to ya brother.'

Asha grinned. 'No bigger than his when it came to you.'

Daryl's pack mewed plaintively, and Asha quickly undid it and pulled the ginger cat into her arms. Its broken purr started immediately as it peered around with golden eyes.

As Daryl pulled the fish from the saddlebag, the cell block door banged open and Carol, Rick and some of the others started towards them. Asha glanced towards them, but they had a moment before they reached them. She shifted the cat into one arm and gripped Daryl's arm, her smile spreading.

'Daryl, I have a trail. Finally a trail.'

He nodded, chewing his bottom lip, eyes unreadable.

She stepped back, disappointed he didn't seem to share her excitement.

'I'm going out tomorrow after it.'

'Asha, I can't—

'No, I get it,' she cut him off, mouth twisting with disappointment. 'I know you've got responsibilities here, I don't expect you to come.'

_Merle would._

The bitter thought rose up unbidden. Asha quickly repressed it. That wasn't fair.

Daryl's eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth, but at that moment Carol and Rick reached them. Asha saw Carol's eyes flicker between her and Daryl, lips pressed into a thin line, before Rick was lifting the bag of fish from Daryl's hands and they were surrounded by the group's appreciative exclamations at the extent of their haul—and some slightly more ambivalent comments about the little cat.

Asha turned away from Daryl and forced herself to smile.

'He's our new ratter,' she said, suddenly surrounded by almost every child living in the prison, outstretched hands reaching for a pat. The little creature flattened its ears at all the attention and clawed its way onto Asha's shoulder.

'Better let me check him out first,' Hershel said, scooping the feline up with experienced hands, and stepping away to examine him.

There was a peal of delighted laughter from Karen as she and Carol took possession of the bag of fish, and even Carol grinned as they looked inside. For a moment, Asha let herself enjoy the smiles and laughing recommendations being bandied about by the group on the best way to cook their catch. But she still felt Daryl's narrowed eyes on her, and as Rick wrapped an arm around her shoulders to steer her to the grill area, she was looking for Michonne and planning the list of supplies she'd need to head out in the morning.

She didn't hang around in the courtyard whilst the fish were cooked. She saw Daryl talking quietly with Rick and Hershel—who, much to the delight of the children, had concluded the little cat looked healthy enough—all things considered—and let him go. The ginger animal was currently seeking refuge on the roof over the grill area as Lizzie and Mika tried to entice him down with scraps of fish.

From the glances being tossed in her direction, she figured Daryl was telling Rick and Hershel about her brother's sign. When she felt the three of them suddenly turn and stare at her from across the courtyard, she disappeared quickly into the cell block looking for Michonne.

She found her friend in her cell, booted heels resting against the wall as she lay stretched out on her back, turning the straight razor she'd picked up for Rick over in in her hands. She looked up as Asha came in.

'Hey,' she said, then wrinkled her nose. 'You smell like fish.'

Asha waved her hand impatiently. 'Yeah, I caught dinner.' She sat down on an upturned milk crate and leant forward. 'I found a sign from Nash.'

Michonne sat up quickly, dropping her legs off the bed and resting her elbows on her knees. 'What? Where?' Then she grinned. 'Asha, that's fantastic.'

Asha smiled, feeling her excitement bubbling up. 'I know! It's not even that far, a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere down to the south. Not an area we've spent much time in—might be that the Governor is down that way too. We've been talking about heading down towards Macon. Can you be ready to head out in the morning?'

Michonne pushed back and leant against the wall. 'Not tomorrow. There's a run. Promised Sasha I'd go on it.' She frowned at the expression on Asha's face. 'Don't look at me like that. They need the help, and you could use a day here. Rest up, get supplies organised to go back out again. You haven't just stopped for weeks now.'

Asha bit down on her disappointment. 'Fine. Day after.'

Michonne nodded, looking at her hands.

There was something else, Asha could feel it. She rubbed at her temples. 'What?'

'Spent a bit of time talking with Hershel and Rick today, about the amount of time we're spending away from the prison...'

Asha rocked back, the echoes of her conversations with Hershel and Daryl running through her mind.

'Let me guess, they said we're wasting our time—like all the information and supplies we've brought back mean nothing—that we're more use here. We should stop going out so much and concentrate on supply runs and keeping this place safe?'

Michonne met her eyes and nodded.

'Dammit.' Asha slammed her hand down on her leg. 'I copped the same spiel from Hershel yesterday and Daryl today. You buying it?'

Michonne shrugged. 'They aren't entirely wrong.'

'So you're just giving up on finding the Governor, just like that?'

Michonne's eyes flashed angrily at her. 'Asha, we aren't finding the damn Governor. We haven't seen any sign of him for months. I'm not suggesting we forget he's out there, we'll handle it if he comes back, but...yeah. It's time to call it.' She glared at Asha. 'I don't want to spend all my time looking for the bastard anymore.'

Asha felt a surge of anger and disappointment at her friend. 'Yeah, well I have a damn trail. This is the first sign I've had of Nash and there's no way I'm not following it.'

Michonne eyes widened and she leant forward. 'Of course. I'm not saying I won't come with you. It just can't be tomorrow, and...' She looked back at the razor in her hands and shrugged. 'I can't be gone more than five days.'

Asha's brows drew down. 'Five days?'

'Yeah. Sasha's got another run planned. They keep having to go further and further out for supplies. It's hard to keep everyone fed with so many—and you know the further they go out the riskier it gets. Gotta be back for it.'

Asha felt a surge of guilt. Her twenty two bass were more valuable than she'd thought. She grit her teeth. _Nash first_. If she could find him, they'd keep the entire prison in fish indefinitely.

She nodded. 'Ok.'

At least she'd have company for the first few days.

* * *

Asha was in her cell, stuffing her gear into her pack. To be honest, she'd barely unpacked it.

She flattened the map of the area out on her bed, trying to locate the farmhouse. After a few minutes she slapped a hand down on the map in frustration. The farmhouse must be on an unmarked back road. She grit her teeth. She was going to have to ask Daryl.

A deliberate cough behind her drew her attention to the cell door. Beth stood there with a bowl in hand.

'You didn't wait around to taste your own catch,' Beth said. She stepped forward, holding out the steaming bowl. A sudden smile lit up her face. 'It's really good Asha. You gotta try it.'

The smell of fish and some sort of curry and rice filled Asha's nose and her mouth watered. She found herself smiling in response— it was difficult to be mad at Beth, especially when she brought such sweet smelling gifts.

'I am hungry,' she said taking the bowl and digging in. 'Oh,' she paused mid mouthful and turned back to the bed, rummaging through her belongings. 'I almost forgot, I found this for you when I was out with Michonne last time.'

She held out a medium sized hard cover journal. Beth took it tentatively, a shy smile on her face. Asha continued talking around mouthfuls.

'I know you've been writing. Figured your other one must be pretty full by now?'

Beth nodded.

'My sister used to have one just like that.' Asha snapped her mouth shut. Why had she said that? It was true. It was what had drawn her attention to the journal in the first place. But as soon as she'd picked it up she'd thought of Beth.

The young woman thumbed the book, feeling the texture of the pages.

'Thanks Asha,' she said warmly. 'This is much nicer than anything else we have around here.'

Asha nodded, dragging her spoon around the empty bowl. 'This is really good. You have a hand in cooking it?'

Beth grinned. 'Maybe a little. It was mostly Carol, but she's teaching me what she knows.'

'Well, Carol can cook,' Asha agreed. 'Thanks.' She handed over the empty bowl and turned back to the bed.

'So, you going after ya brother?' Beth asked.

Asha grimaced. 'Guess everyone's heard about his sign by now huh?'

Beth shrugged. 'Ya know how this place is. There ain't no secrets here.'

Asha's hands tightened into fists in her belongings. Why was there even a question in anyone's mind.

'Yeah Beth, I'm going after him.' Asha could feel the silence behind her. She looked over her shoulder.

Beth was looking at the bowl as she twisted it around in her hands. 'I can't imagine what it would be like if I lost Maggie, Asha. I'd do everything I could to find her.' There was a long pause and then Beth looked up at her, her blue eyes steely. 'I know you gotta find your brother, but we all got jobs to do... and we're stronger with you—and Michonne—here.'

The young woman gave her a small sad smile and walked away.

_Damn it. _

Asha's chin dropped to her chest and her shoulders hunched. Why couldn't anyone just be happy for her?

She went back to jamming things into her pack.


	25. Chapter 25

**[A/N: Just a little short one. But since I don't think I'll get time to post again before next weekend, I wanted to get another chapter up this weekend.**

**Reviewers, again, so much love!]**

* * *

Daryl leant against the door frame of Asha's cell, arms crossed against his chest. He grit his teeth against the ache in his throat at the sight of her packing.

'How long ya going for?' he asked.

She glanced over her shoulder at him, jaw clenched and eyes tight.

'As long as it takes.'

She flattened out a map on the bed. 'Where was that farmhouse?'

Daryl pushed off the wall and stood next to her, painfully aware of how the skin of his arm tingled in anticipation of brushing against her.

He traced the route they'd followed in his head, before jabbing a finger at a point on the map. Asha quickly drew a circle around the point he'd indicated, then dragged a finger to the south west, tracing a line that crossed a river and passed near a little town called Braysville.

'What d'ya reckon? If he kept on that line he probably passed through there?'

Daryl gave a single shouldered shrug.

'What?'

He chewed his lip for a moment, then sighed. 'Ya chasin' shadows Asha, it was an old sign. What if you lose the trail again?'

She glared at him. 'I'll keep going till I find it again.'

'Damn it Asha, ya can't just leave.'

'I can't _not_ leave,' she snapped. She spun on him, eyes flashing. 'How can you even say that to me? I thought of all the people here, you would understand this. You would have the done the same for Merle.'

'That ain't the point. I know when t' let somethin' go. Ya gonna follow an old trail halfway across the state, longer if ya gotta—'

'He might have a camp, not far away.'

Daryl passed his hand wearily over his face. 'Ya taught me the damn code Asha. That dash in the bottom corner—meant he was just on the road travelin'... He'd be out lookin' for you too. First summer since the turn right? Means that sign's near twelve months old.' He hesitated for a second, but it was the damn truth. 'If Nash was camped anywhere close, ya would have found each other again by now.'

Asha looked like he'd slapped her. She gaped, and then shoved him angrily. 'So I've just been wasting my time this whole time?'

He ignored her question. 'So ya follow him across the state, long as ya need to, then what?'

She looked at him baffled. 'We come home.'

He snorted. 'Home. What if ya come back in we ain't here. Ain't nothin' permanent in this world anymore. What if ya brother's got his own people. What then? Ya just gonna abandon—' his lip twitched '—us. All the people here.'

Her eyes narrowed. He turned away, breath hissing through his teeth. How could she be willing to just leave them?

_You did it once for Merle. Yeah, and that lasted about five seconds before you realised what a stupid idea that was._

The corner of his mouth lifted in a snarl and he realised he was pacing. Why the fuck did it matter? This sure as shit wasn't the first time someone had walked out of his life.

He turned on her. 'Why bother even comin' back. Ya always talkin' 'bout the fuckin' coastline, why don't you and ya brother just fuck off there. We don't need ya.'

Asha reeled back. 'What the hell.? My damn home is here and you don't mean that.'

'Like hell I don't. I ain't the only one with responsibilities round here.'

'What does that mean?'

'Ya know what it means.'

Asha glared at him. 'Ya want me to give up on the first sign I've seen.'

'Ya could damn well be out there forever. Ya abandoning us. Like we don't mean nothin'.' His voice was bitter as he spat the last words in her face.

Asha's shoulders suddenly collapsed in on themselves and her eyes filled with tears. 'What do you want me to do?' she asked in a tiny voice. 'I can't not look for him.' She took a shuddering breath. 'Not now. Not when I've finally got a trail.'

Daryl felt a surge of guilt under his anger as the tears spilled down her cheeks.

He grasped her by the arms, his large hands fitting comfortably around her biceps and pulled her to face him. Her green eyes wavered before she dropped her gaze.

'Just—' he snapped, then swallowed deeply and tried again in a calmer tone. 'Just...I don't want ya out there on ya own. Ya never let me finish, out in the courtyard earlier. I gotta go on a supply run tomorrow, but I'll come with ya the next day.' He shook her slightly until she looked up at him. 'But we give it a few days. If we don't find him or some more recent sign, we come back.'

Asha was shaking her head. 'You don't need to, Michonne's gonna come.'

'Nah, I'm coming too.'

She looked at him blank faced for a moment. 'No,' she said softly. 'You got responsibilities remember?' There was a bitter twist to her lips and she turned her head away. 'And I don't want to look at you the whole time we're out there and know you think we're wasting our time.' Her shoulders shuddered.

Daryl jerked his hands away from her and grimaced, cursing his earlier words. 'Asha, I didn't—'

'Don't Daryl, just...don't.'

He scrubbed a hand through his hair and his shoulders slumped. 'Ok. Just you and Michonne. But ya come back with Michonne. If ya find something new, I will go back out with you. But ya come back first.'

Asha's lips compressed into a thin line and there was a flash of defiance in her eyes before she looked at the ground.

_Damn stubborn woman._

He gripped her by the chin and pulled her face up to his. 'I mean it Asha. Ya damn well come back. I am gonna be pissed as hell if I have t' come find ya.'

There was a polite cough at the doorway and Michonne's dread locked head peered around the corner. Asha jumped and Daryl dropped his hand from her chin and flinched back.

'She'll come back,' Michonne said. 'These people need you here and she ain't self centered enough to make you come out looking for her.'

'Ain't no one ever tell ya its rude to listen in,' Daryl grumbled.

The dark skinned woman laughed. 'You know there's no privacy in this place. Besides, it was either me or you'd have half the camp hanging out outside this cell...Not that it matters.' She arched an eyebrow. 'You two aren't exactly being quiet.'

Daryl grunted, then looked back at Asha. 'Well?'

Asha looked from Daryl to Michonne, jaw set, a muscle in her throat twitching before she eventually grimaced. 'Fine, ya damn pair of bullies.'

Daryl shared a glance with Michonne, who gave a tiny shrug before disappearing back around the door frame.

Asha's had turned back to the bed, stiff backed with her shoulders drawn in as she angrily crammed things into her pack.

Daryl took a deep breath, feeling a heaviness in his stomach. It would have to be enough. Michonne would make sure she came back.

* * *

By lunch the next day, Asha was pacing the fence line.

It had only taken her the morning to get her gear sorted. Then she had thrown together some supplies for Michonne and had chucked them in her cell—since she knew her friend's tolerance wouldn't extend to her actually packing anything for her. With all of her tasks complete, she was consumed with restless impatience. She couldn't bear to be anywhere other than the yard where she could keep an eye on the road for the group returning from the run—even though they weren't expected back before dark.

She listened to the steady sounds of her boots sweeping through the grass. She didn't see the faces of ever present dead pressed against the outer fence. Her eyes were locked beyond them, on the woods, the trees shifting gently in the summer breeze.

It wasn't long enough. Only five days.

The south west line from the farm house ran through some fairly extensive woods, working through them looking for a sign was going to be labour intensive and time consuming—and could be a complete waste of time if her gut feeling that Nash had passed through Braysville was right. She bared her teeth. Time that she didn't have to waste thanks to Daryl and Michonne's bullying.

Maybe they should skip the woods and try Braysville to start with? Asha had left a sign in every town she'd been through—and she would have bet everything she owned on Nash doing the same thing.

Her head snapped up and she froze mid pace.

She had half a day now. A run out to Braysville by road wouldn't take that long—and if she was right and Nash had left a sign there, they could pick up there tomorrow. Better yet—her heart leapt in her chest—she might be able to reason out the next town he'd passed through and they could pick up the trail there. An afternoon's work could save them a full day, maybe more, tomorrow. If she didn't find anything, well, then tomorrow they would start combing the woods looking for where he changed course.

They'd be no worse off.

She grinned and set off at a run across the yard, to the ever expanding vegetable patch.

'Rick,' she yelled. 'Rick.'

Rick was kneeling in the dirt between the rows of vegetables, the leaves of a tomato plant held gently between his fingers. His head jerked and he stood up at her cry, scanning immediately for the source of her alarm, his hand automatically going to his hip where his gun used to be. His eyes clouded with confusion when he couldn't see anything other than her running towards him. Carl stood up near him, shovel in hand.

'I'm going out,' she called, pulling to a stop just short of the rows of plants.

His eyes hardened. 'Out? Where?'

'The sign from Nash, Daryl told you right?'

Rick nodded carefully.

'I reckon I know where the next marker is.'

She could see Rick starting to shake his head and she held up a hand to forestall him. 'I'm not asking Rick, but I'm not stupid enough to go running off without telling anyone where I'm going. Braysville, Daryl knows where it is. I'm gonna duck out, check it out, and come back. I'll be back by dark.'

'This is a stupid idea Asha,' Rick said. 'Don't do it.'

'Like I said, not asking.'

Rick frowned at her. 'Duck out? How the hell are you doing that. They took all the vehicles except the bus on the run.'

'I'm taking the bike.' Asha turned to head back to the cell block for her gear.

'Wait, Asha. _Daryl's_ bike?' Carl laughed incredulously. 'Are you insane? He's gonna kill you.'

'Oh he's gonna be pissed as all hell, I agree,' she said over her shoulder. 'But I'll be gone for five days tomorrow, so—provided he doesn't kill me this evening—he'll have plenty of time to cool off while I'm gone.'


	26. Chapter 26

**[A/N: Hey lovely people! Your feedback on the last chapter (and the fact that this story has cracked 50 favourites and 100 followers) just got me so excited that I had to post this. Enjoy!]**

* * *

It took a little over an hour to get to Braysville. The bike ate up the miles, and—Asha was pleased to note—barely put a dent in the half a tank of fuel. It was noisy though, and since Asha didn't want to announce her presence to anyone—living or dead—still in town, she pulled into one of rundown houses on the outskirts of town, parking the bike behind the garage and covering it in boxes and debris so it wasn't easily identifiable.

She stretched, cracking her back, and then pulled her neoprene and butcher's gloves on to her left hand, shouldered her pack and spear gun and skirted to the corner of the house to eye the road into town.

The barrel of her old colt revolver—now with plenty of ammo—dug into the small of her back where it was shoved down the back of her jeans. She'd gotten used to carrying it again, being out on the road with Michonne and Daryl. Not her weapon of choice, but it was stupid not to carry it—although she was happy she hadn't had to use it since the prison. She grimaced.

Spear for the dead, gun for the living.

She paused at the corner of the house, looking down the street. Almost two years in from the turn, every town she passed through showed signs of neglect. Windows were broken, porches sagged and paint was faded and peeling. A stiff breeze blew down the street, lifting the dead leaves and banging the shutters hanging on broken hinges.

She waited a moment, gauging whether her entry into town had stirred up any walker activity. It had, but only a little. There were two walkers staggering towards her, well the house really, they hadn't seen her yet. Two wasn't much to worry about.

She had turned over her shoulder and opened her mouth to suggest Michonne take the second one before she remembered her friend wasn't with her. Her heart started pounding and she glanced around nervously.

_Stupid._

She couldn't afford to be careless and forget she was on her own.

She grit her teeth and tightened her grip on the spear gun, stepping out to meet the walkers. Her lip curled as their snarling increased and they lurched greedily in her direction. She strode towards the first one, jabbing upwards sharply with her spear to take it under the jaw, and kicking it squarely in the chest to get it off her spear. The second was still a few paces away, so she stepped back, keeping the fallen walker between her and the still encroaching deadhead. As expected, it stumbled as it tripped over it, and Asha swung the butt of her spear gun like a club, collecting the deadhead in the temple. It fell to the ground and Asha finished it with a quick thrust through the skull.

She shook her shoulders as she straightened up and strode down the street, moving quickly back to the sidewalk so she had some cover from the parked cars and overgrown nature strip.

Asha didn't know Braysville. She hadn't bothered to look at a street map, but it wasn't a big town, and this was one of the main roads leading in, so she figured she'd wind up in the centre of town soon enough.

Five minutes or so of walking put her in a semi industrial area, a handful of squat warehouses with roller doors on either side of the street. The wind had picked up, gusting strongly down the deserted street, and slamming a small entry door on one of the warehouses against the metal door frame.

It was probably the noise that drew Asha's attention, but as her eyes roamed naturally over the area, she froze. Heavy scuff marks were visible in the dirt and grime on the concrete outside the door. A thin layer of dirt and scattered leaves had blown across the area, but a long smear trail, as if something heavy had been dragged, led out the door and around the corner of the building.

Asha crouched instinctively behind a parked car, hand going to the gun at her back. Her eyes flickered immediately back to the open door, but after a moment she was comforted by its continued banging in the wind. Surely if anyone was there, they would have secured that door to prevent the noise drawing any walkers. Still it took a long moment of steeling herself, heart pounding, before she moved away from the car and towards the building.

There were long dark brown streaks in the smear trail. Asha grimaced, recognising the colour of dried blood. Comforted by the fact that enough time had passed for the trail to be partially obscured, she ignored the open door and followed the trail around the corner. The trail ended about halfway along the side of the building in a pile of rubbish. Asha approached warily, sucking her teeth to work some moisture back into her mouth.

A gust of wind lifted the corner of a cardboard box in the pile and set it flapping.

Suddenly the pile shifted and an all too familiar snarl came from somewhere in its depths. Asha took a step back and waited. For a long minute the pile just continued to shift, then a broken and bloodied hand emerged from under the pile, followed a moment later by another. The creature clawed its way out from under the pile, its brittle fingers snapping and breaking backwards as it dragged itself along the concrete.

It wasn't an old walker. It had the milky bloodshot eyes and grey pallor of the dead, and it sure had the stink, but its flesh hadn't had time to rot. Couldn't have been turned more than a day or two.

But unrotten didn't mean unmarked.

Every inch of its exposed flesh was a mass of purple and blue bruises, streaked with its own dried blood. It's back caved in behind its shoulder blade, and its jaw hung unhinged, broken. As it pulled itself free of the rubbish pile, Asha saw why it was clawing itself along with its hands. Its legs were broken, twisted at unnatural angles, the femur protruding grotesquely from one of its thighs.

Asha's stomach flipped nervously and she glanced quickly around. The thing had obviously been beaten to death, and not that long ago. Her mouth twisted, and she watched it slobber and snap through its broken teeth for a moment, before planting her spear through its temple. Then she turned reluctantly back to the front of the building.

She waited, just around the corner, listening for a long moment, but she heard only the banging door and the rustle of the wind gusting down the street. She didn't think she heard anything from inside the building, but it was hard to be certain.

She bit her lip.

_You don't have to go in._

_Better the enemy ya know then the one ya don't girly, _Merle whispered in her ear.

She shivered, closing her eyes for an instant. _Ain't safe for the prison with scum like that around. _

She could feel his breath against her face.

She nodded.

Reminding herself again that no one still living would leave the door banging like that, she took a deep breath, drew her gun, and carefully shouldered the door wide enough to slip into the building.

Back against the wall, she paused for a second to let her eyes adjust to the somewhat dimmer light—although the warehouse was fairly well lit by the high windows in the sawtooth ceiling. The huge space was largely empty, containing just a couple of abandoned cars, which looked like they'd been having work done on them when the end came, and a few knocked over shelves. A handful of miscellaneous tools and boxes strewn across the dirty concrete floor. It smelt like oil and dirt.

Asha breathed at little easier when, after a moment, nothing had moved. She circled carefully around the cars to make sure there was nothing hidden from sight that she needed to be concerned about, before flicking the safety back on her gun and shoving it back into her waistband.

In the middle of the floor, away from the cars, a charred black patch was evidence that someone had lit a fire there—and not all that long ago judging by the fact that the soot was still more or less in the one spot. Asha wasn't interested in the fire so much as the tracks and smudges around it. A tapestry of footprints crisscrossed the area, most smudged and partial, but from what she could see as she carefully paced the area, all men's sizes, and at least three, maybe four different treads. Further out, forming a rough circle around the fire there were a handful of body length smears in the grime, as if a person had laid down on a blanket and tossed a couple of times through the night, working the smudge into the floor. Six body length smudges, which may or may not have included someone on watch or the unfortunate person left outside under the boxes.

She pursed her lips. Five or six of them then. Well, now she knew.

She glanced up at the high windows, the rapid movement of the streaming clouds thrown into stark relief by the immobility of the building. Behind her the, roller door rattled in a particularly strong gust of wind. She shifted the straps of her pack a little. She had to keep moving if she was going to make it back by dark. Pausing for a moment at the door to check that the street hadn't filled with walkers - or worse - whilst she was inside, she headed back into the street.

Twenty or so minutes more walk put her on the town's main street, a wide tree lined avenue which would have been pleasant on a sunny day when filled by the living. Now the trees whipped in the increasing wind beneath a sky darkening with heavy cloud, and thunder rumbled in the distance. The street was filled with tumbling debris, shop fronts were shattered and a car had ploughed across the street, up the side walk and through the front of the drug store.

Asha moved carefully down the street, keeping to the edge where she could skulk carefully from car to car. The howling wind, coupled with her discovery at the warehouse, had put her on edge. She wanted nothing more than to be on the bike, heading back to the safety of the prison. Even the thought of having to face Daryl's wrath over her loan of his bike seemed like something to look forward to. But the chance of finding Nash's sign, the sign she knew had to be here, drove her on.

Suddenly, across the road a deadhead reeled between two parked cars and onto the road, staggering slightly, its head snapping about as the wind rattled down the street. Asha dropped to a crouch behind a car, but the creature seemed disoriented, the noise of the howling wind spreading its attention so that it couldn't focus on any one thing. There was a crack of thunder and the walker's head jerked around, like a dog sniffing the wind. Eventually it staggered down the road.

Asha released the breath she was holding and continued down the street. She hadn't taken more than two steps when a walker lurched from the busted shop front just in front of her. Its head was snapping around in the wind too, but at soon as it saw Asha it surged towards her. Asha pulled her knife, slapping the walker's arms aside with her gloved hand as she sidestepped quickly and buried her knife in its temple.

She absently flicked the blood off her knife, looking at the corpse crumpled on the ground. Looked like her time in this town was running out, the weather was obviously stirring up the walkers, and was going to make the ride back to the prison hell.

Well, if stealth wasn't going to help her, speed might. A quick loop around the block to double back to the road leading back to the bike and she was done. A more thorough search would just have to wait.

She set off a jog down the street, accompanied by a sudden crack of thunder, moving in to the middle of street to give herself more space to dodge any walkers stumbling from the shops. She scanned the shop signs, side of buildings, bonnets of cars as she ran—desperately hoping Nash had found his own can of offensively bright spray paint.

She was breathing a little heavy by the time she got to the end of the street. Glancing around, she noted that four or five walkers had staggered into the street behind her, and around the same number were weaving along the cross road she planned to turn down. Most of them seemed unaware of her presence, heads jerking upwards at the sky as the rattling wind and shuddering thunder dragged their attention around.

She was so focused on the dead that she didn't see it for a second, then her eyes snapped up to the large road sign on the cross road showing the distance to the next town. For a blank moment, her eyes traced the pock marked black spray paint lines, but then they suddenly leapt into focus and her heart leapt into her throat.

A coded marker from Nash. Her heartbeat drummed in her chest. He had been here. Her eyes flew over the sign again. It was only half a marker really, the bottom half of the road sign had been ripped away, taking the bottom part of the mark with it. But the top half of the cross was still visible, showing a '2F' and a dash in the two quadrants, and that was enough to convince Asha it was one of Nash's.

She let out a low cry, hurrying towards it. Second fall and a dash. He was still travelling when he came through, but she needed the bottom of the sign to know the direction. It must have been one hell of a storm that had ripped off half the sign, but with the debris currently skating across the road in front of the howling wind, she could believe it had happened.

She rushed to the pile of rubbish closest to the sign, tearing through it, looking desperately for something big enough to be part of the street sign. She tugged free a thin sheet of metal and the wind screamed underneath it ripping it out of her hands and hurling it across the street to crash loudly into the side of a truck. Asha was relieved to see it flash pink and silver as it flew, the wrong colours to be part of the street sign.

A fat drop of rain splattered on her cheek as she watched the flying metal, jerking her focus to the black clouds above her. Then a second burst against her arm.

'Fuck,' she swore.

She was about to be caught in a downpour. She had to find somewhere to wait it out, but as she looked around she could see an increasing number of walkers staggering onto the street—a storm might send the living in search of shelter, but it seemed to have the opposite effect on the dead. Then her stomach dropped as a somewhere a few blocks away, past the main street she'd recently come down, a church bell started pealing. It's heavy tone rang unsteadily, but carried clearly through the wind and thunder.

Asha's jaw dropped. Was that really the wind? Then she swore viciously as every walker in the vicinity turned towards the noise, and the trickle of walkers coming from the buildings turned into a flood.

Her heart ratcheted up a notch and her breath hissed quickly between her teeth. She had to get off the street. She glanced around, wind whipping strands of hair across her face. Going down the crossroad in the direction she'd intended was suddenly out of the question, as a cluster of twenty or so walkers swarmed out of a store front not far ahead of her. The road in the other direction, and back along the main street she'd just come down, were filling up quickly too, as the dead were drawn by the still tolling bell—which, just as she thought about it again, faded away.

The damage had already been done.

A grey skinned ghoul lumbered towards her and she drove her spear quickly up under its jaw. A second lurched up behind it and she belted it across the side of the head with the side of the spear gun, before driving the tip through its gaping eye socket. She briefly considered the trick Daryl had told her about using walker guts as camouflage, then quickly discarded it as there was yet more thunder and a spattering of rain swept against her.

_Move Asha_, Merle hissed suddenly in her ear.

She jumped, narrowly avoiding the outstretched hand of walker and sprinted back up the main street, ducking and weaving to avoid the dead as much as possible, and swinging her spear like a club to fend off those who got too close. The rain began in earnest, an abrupt battering of water that plastered Asha's hair to her face and near blinded her as she ran. Sudden light flashed across the sky and thunder reverberated from horizon to horizon.

Something jagged her ankle and she tripped, feet slipping, hands flying and landing hard on the wet road.

She felt pressure on her foot as she rolled on to her back, choking on her panic as she saw the deadhead on the ground, clawing at her jean clad leg and gnawing on the leather of her boot. She flailed desperately and drawing back her free leg to drive her heel into its face when it suddenly went limp—a long slender arrow with green fletching piercing its skull from temple to opposite cheek.

Asha gaped, head snapping upwards in the arrow's direction. On the edge of the roof there was a figure in a dark jumper, hood drawn up against the driving rain, a long recurve bow dangling in one hand. He, or she—Asha couldn't really tell—gestured frantically at her, directing her towards a narrow alley, before quickly drawing and loosing a second arrow at her. Asha flattened herself to the tarmac with a startled cry as the arrow flew over her body and into the face of a walker lurching toward her.

_Move,_ Merle ordered, and she moved.

She surged to her feet, yanking the arrow from the deadhead who'd tried to make a snack of her foot—and leaving the other as it was out of immediate reach—she ran for the alley. She backhanded a walker who weaved in her direction, knocking it to the ground, charged past it and then flattened herself against the wall at the entry to alley, peering carefully around the corner. _Never trust, even those who save your life...especially when they have no reason to._

The alley was empty, blessedly empty compared to the walker filled street. She quickly pulled her head back to face the street, chest heaving.

Could still be a trap.

_Scared little girl, _Merle sneered.

'Yes,' she hissed through bared teeth.

One of the walkers snapping at the air near her tilted its head in her direction, its cloudy eyes suddenly glowing as it staggered unsteadily towards her. She slung her spear across her back and gripped the arrow tightly in her right hand. Breath held, she waited till it got close enough for her to slap her gloved hand on its face, twist to the side, and drive the arrow through its temple.

_Ain't got no choice dollface._

She didn't.

She couldn't fight her way down the street. The only thing that had kept her alive—kept her from being swarmed by the dead—was that the noise and chaos of the storm was disorientating the walkers, and she couldn't count on that forever. Even as she looked around a couple more deadheads had turned towards her. Her shoulders drew in and she swallowed hard.

No choice.

She pulled her gun, slipped into the alley, and moved quickly away from the entry.

It was a blind alley, as far as she could see, although the visibility wasn't great. Nothing moved except for the rain, sheeting sideways in the wind and pounding out a tattoo against the concrete that was unnaturally loud in the narrow space. The walls were bare at ground level as far as she could see. There was a row of windows at the level of the first floor, and then above that the edge of the roof.

Asha wiped the streaming water from her face with the back of her arm, steeled herself, and then moved forwards, keeping hard against the wall. She scanned the alley, eyes trying to be everywhere at once, searching for a door and waiting for the moment her supposed rescuer would attack. She suddenly hissed in anger as she realised three walkers had followed her into the alley. She could handle three walkers, but the flesh between her shoulders clenched uncomfortably at the thought of leaving her back exposed to the alley whilst she did so.

There was a sudden crash and a recessed door further down the alley flung open, recoiling off the concrete wall behind it. Yet another walker from the street turned it's attention to the alley.

'Here,' hissed the archer from the roof.

Definitely male. His face was shadowed by his hood, but the tone of the voice was distinctive. Asha slunk across the alley, planting her back against the wall opposite the door and glancing warily between the hooded figure and the encroaching walkers.

'I'm not wasting any more arrows,' he snapped. 'What are you waiting for?'

He beckoned her towards the door.

Asha looked around desperately again, the first walker was nearly on her and she skirted a few steps further along the wall.

'Come on,' the hooded man roared, unfortunately finding a gap in the rolling thunder. Asha winced as she saw several more walkers on the street turn towards them. One of the walkers already in the alley turned towards the hooded man.

_Fuck. No choice._

Asha growled in her throat, and then pushed forwards of the wall, jamming the arrow into the skull of the closest walker and then sprinting for the door, boot heels kicking up spray on the wet concrete. She shouldered past the hooded man and he slammed the door behind her. A second later—as Asha and her new companion dragged in shaky breaths and stared at each other—there was a shudder and a thump and the guttural sounds of the dead slamming against the door.


	27. Chapter 27

**[A/N: Next chapter, as promised. Reviewers, as always, so much appreciation. Makes my day to read your feedback!**

**SorryJunky, glad you found that the suspense/action writing in the last chapter worked. It's always a bit of a challenge to give enough detail to create the scene, but not so much that it drags down the action, and I wasn't totally sure I'd got the pacing right in the last chapter **—** so thanks!]**

* * *

Asha slumped against the wall of the narrow stairwell. It was dim, a first floor window the only source of light, and there was limited amounts of that due to the storm beating outside. She was soaked to the skin, a growing pool of water spreading around her feet. She wiped the streaming water from her face with the back of her arm, keeping her gun and a wary eye on her lanky companion as she did so.

He leant against the opposite wall, breathing heavily, long recurve bow still in hand. As she watched, he pushed his dripping hood back from his face, revealing a pair of wide brown eyes in an attractive face. He had an olive complexion and his wet black hair was plastered to his forehead. Despite the dusting of dark stubble across his chin, Asha would have guessed him to be fairly young, late teens, maybe only just twenty. He wiped his own hands across his face, and flicked the excess water away.

'I knew it,' he said, a slightly poleaxed smile spreading across his face. 'I knew you'd come.'

Asha's eyes narrowed. 'What?'

He took half a step forward.

'Stop right there,' Asha said, lifting her gun threateningly.

He stopped, a sudden look of confusion across his handsome features. He held up his free hand. 'I wouldn't hurt you. Why would you think I would hurt you?'

'Are you alone?'

He nodded vigorously. 'Yes, it's just me.'

There was a sudden loud thump against the door and Asha jerked as the boy pounded back on the door with his free hand. 'Shut up,' he screamed.

Asha pressed herself further back against the wall.

'Can't stay here,' he said, spinning around bright eyed and grinning. 'Come on.'

He darted past her up the stairs—ignoring or failing to notice the way Asha's knuckles whitened on the arrow she still gripped in one hand, or the way her trigger finger twitched on the other.

He paused a few steps up. 'Come on,' he said beckoning.

Asha grit her teeth and followed him cautiously up the stairs.

She might not share her host's enthusiasm, but he did have a point. She couldn't hideout at the bottom of the stairs and just hope the dead went away.

The stairs went up a single flight before ending at a door, the only exit other than the door to the alley below. The boy glanced at her, wide smile on his face, before pushing the door open. Asha tensed as he did so.

'See, no one else here.' He moved into the space and held the door open for Asha.

_Like I'm taking your word for it._

She edged closer to door, pausing as she reached it, and sticking a booted foot out to hold it open. She gestured to her host to move away.

'Smart,' he said nodding, and moved into the room.

Asha scanned the space. It was a small room, probably used to be some sort of office for the shop below. A single high window let in light, but was too high for her to see anything other than the murky grey sky. There was the door she was standing in, and another across the other side of the room. Her quick glance took in the bedroll on the floor and cluttered belongings—and no less than three crucifixes and an image of the bleeding heart of Jesus nailed haphazardly to the wall. The small space and single bed roll comforted her. It looked like it was just him and he'd been there for a while.

The boy had leant his bow carefully in the corner of the room and was leaning against the far wall pulling off his soaking boots as he watched her.

'It's just me,' he said, still smiling widely. He waited whilst she came cautiously into the room, the door closing carefully behind her.

She nodded at the far door. 'Where does that go?'

'Corridor. There's a front room, looks out over the main street, at the back there's a storage room, a bathroom that's not much use for anything anymore, access to the shop downstairs, but I boarded that up months ago.'

'Is there a back entry out of that shop?'

'We just came in it.'

He'd finished with his boots and reached behind his shoulders to pull his hoodie up over his head.

Asha swore. 'There's gotta be another way outta here.'

The boy shook his head, teeth gleaming in his smile.

Asha's eyes narrowed. 'What about the roof. I saw you up there.'

'Oh yeah, you can get up there. But getting down's another thing, and there's no where to go but back down to the chompers— for now anyway, they'll clear out after the storm.'

Asha's brow furrowed. 'You've seen this before, the way they are with the storm?'

He nodded. 'Yeah. Makes 'em crazy. But once it's over they more or less crawl back into their holes. It's almost like they exhaust themselves.'

'How long's it take?'

He shrugged. 'Not long. They usually start drifting away once the thunder and wind die down. We'll be able to get on our way first thing in the morning.'

Asha jerked. 'What?' She backed up against the door snarling, gun raised and trained squarely on the boy. 'What the hell are you talking about?

His eyes shone and Asha felt like she could see all of the teeth in his mouth as his smile grew to astronomical proportions.

'I knew you'd come.' He said softly. He took half a step forward and Asha hissed at him, shaking her gun. He paused, hands up as he spoke. 'I knew it. And you're going to take me somewhere.'

'Why would I do that?'

'You're following the sign. I've been waiting for you, and now that you're here, you're going to take me with you.'

Asha's eyes widened, and her breath dragged heavily through her nose has she ground her teeth together. 'You were watching me?'

He nodded. 'Come see,' he said, and before Asha could say anything, he darted barefoot through the door leading to the corridor.

Asha swore violently to herself, then—keeping her gun raised—followed him into the corridor and towards the front of the building.

The front room overlooked the main street. The large glass windows facing the street were broken, a scattering of glass on the threadbare carpet—soggy from the rain. Her host was leaning against the wall near the broken window, staying just out the driving rain which still gusted in through the shattered glass.

'Look, look,' he said, holding out a hand and pointing out the window.

She picked her way carefully across the wet carpet, sticking to the opposite side of the room to her host—but getting close enough to the window to take in the clear view the upper storey floor offered of the main street.

'You see,' he said excitedly. 'It's why I set up here.' He gestured expansively. 'Gives me a good view of the main street, and pretty much everyone who comes through town passes down the main street at some point. From here, I get to see them...and decide whether I want them to see me.'

'You were watching me when I came into town,' Asha said quietly across the gun she still pointed at the boy.

He nodded. 'Yeah, I saw you come in, careful like, dodge a couple of walkers. I could tell the way they acted in the storm was new to you.' His eyes found hers and held them, gleaming in the half light. 'I saw you jog down to the end of the street, and look up at the sign on the cross street, the one showing the distance to Thomaston. The look on your face...I knew it was you. I knew it.'

Asha's heart was pounding.

'And then you went looking for the rest of the sign.' He smiled, wide and relieved. 'No-one else has ever gone looking for the rest of the sign.' He nodded firmly to himself. 'You're the one I've been waiting for.'

'What do you know about that sign?' Asha asked, leaning forwards and fighting to control the breathlessness in her voice. 'Are there any more like it in town?'

'No, and I've been all over this town looking. There's just the one.'

Asha's shoulders slumped. She needed the bottom half of that sign.

The boy's eyes bored into her. 'There's no other sign, but I know what was written on the bottom of the Thomaston sign.'

Asha's breath jerked and throat seized.

'Tell me.'

'No.'

She narrowed her eyes and growled at him. 'What? Why not?'

'I'll tell you… but you have to take me with you.'

'With me where?'

'Back to your camp.'

She backed away. 'What?'

'You take me back to your camp and I'll tell you everything I know about that sign. What it said, when it was written...who wrote it.'

_Nash._

Asha bit her lip, fighting the desperation with which she wanted to know every skerrick this stranger could tell her about her brother. He might be lying, she reminded herself. He might know nothing.

She closed her eyes and fought for breath.

'What makes you think I've got a camp?'

He looked her up and down, taking in the one small pack on her back, and frowning at her gun again. He tilted his head to the side, smiling, but Asha's shoulders tensed at the sharpness in his eyes.

'You're nowhere near dirty or desperate enough to be surviving on your own, or carrying near enough gear to be planning to be out for more than a night or so alone.'

'You don't know that,' Asha bit back. 'For all you know, I just got separated from my group, or run off by a herd and lost half my gear. Or I've just got it stashed nearby.'

He shook his head. 'No no no. I watched you come down the street remember. People who have just lost people are jumpy, desperate. You weren't near twitchy enough to have just lost everything.'

He ran a hand through his hair, which was pulling into curls as it dried. 'Look, I know there's no rescue coming. This is the way the world is now. There's no going back.' He looked at Asha with pleading eyes. 'You've got a camp, and I can't do this on my own anymore. You have to take me with you. You're following the sign, I know you're going to take me somewhere.'

Asha frowned at him, stomach churning.

'Please,' he said, looking at her gun again. 'You don't need that. I won't hurt you.'

Asha narrowed her eyes. He was obviously not telling her everything, but she didn't feel any immediate threat from him—and he sure as hell seemed genuine in his belief that she was going to take him somewhere. She couldn't do that if he killed her. She breathed deeply for a second, then flicked the safety back on the gun and wedged it back in her waistband. She still held his arrow in her other hand. She held her empty hand up quickly as a smile spread across the boy's face and he stepped forwards.

'Just...you stay on that side of the room.' She rubbed her forehead with the back of her hand. 'If—and I mean if—I take you back, how do I know that you even know what was on the bottom of that sign?'

'Guess you don't. But, I can describe the guy who drew it.' He smiled, but his eyes were like needles. 'Gesture of good faith right? If it's who you think it was, you'll have more reason to believe that I know what was on the rest of the sign.'

His eyes were on her like steel traps, watching every little reaction.

Asha, heart threatening to beat its way out of her chest, nodded carefully.

'Big guy. Tall, solidly built, blondish hair.' The boy's eyes suddenly flickered to the tip of the spear gun protruding beyond her shoulder. 'Carried a spear gun.'

Asha fought to keep her face impassive. Then the boy touched his left forearm with the fingers of his right hand. 'Had a black tattoo, like a band, around his arm here.'

Asha's knees gave out and she dropped to the soggy carpet.

He'd seen him.

He'd actually seen Nash.


	28. Chapter 28

**[A/N: Thanks reviewers and new followers and favourites! You guys rock.]**

* * *

'Had a black tattoo, like a band, around his arm here.'

Asha's knees gave out and she dropped to the soggy carpet.

He'd seen him. He'd actually seen Nash

She closed her eyes, swallowing the lump in her throat.

'What was he to you?' the boy asked from across the room.

Asha shuddered. 'When did you see him?'

'About six months ago, maybe a little more.'

She kept her eyes on the ground.

'He was your brother right?'

Asha glared at him.

He waved a hand generally in her direction. 'He looked kinda like you, same nose, and something around the mouth.'

Breathing hard through her nose, she nodded as she pushed herself back to her feet.

The boy nodded to himself.

Asha couldn't help but ask. 'How did he look? Was he hurt? Did you speak to him?'

He shook his head. 'No. I just watched him. Saw him take down a group of chompers. He was…like a warrior from the old testament. Untouchable. God was watching over him I think. But a big guy like that, I figured I didn't need his attention. He didn't hang around either, just painted that sign and kept moving.'

'He was on foot?'

'Yep.'

'What did his sign say?'

'Is your camp far from here?'

They looked at each other in silence as Asha fought the urge to leap across the room and beat on him until he told her what he knew. She saw his lips twitch and expected that some of what she was feeling was showing on her face. She forced it into some semblance of calm—but the facade didn't do much to dampen her desire to smack him in the face.

'If you are lying to me about knowing what the rest of the sign said,' Asha said, slowly and forcibly, 'this is not going to end well for you.'

'If I tell you now, you've got no reason to take me with you.'

'If I take you back, it's not up to me whether you get to stay or not. There's a Council. They'll want to ask you some questions.'

She could ask them herself now, make the call. Of course she didn't really want that responsibility…and so long as he was dangling Nash like a carrot in front of her, she couldn't care less what his answers were. If he confessed to killing a hundred people she would still take him back…at least until he told her what she wanted

'A Council, really?' His eyes shone. 'Must be a lot of you?'

Asha nodded.

'And you take people in?'

Asha nodded again. 'Numbers are the best defence against the deadheads,' she said, watching him closely, 'and other people.'

His eyes glinted. 'Yes,' he said, clasping his hands together. 'Yes, I knew I was right to wait for you.'

'You keep saying you've been waiting for me. What do you mean you've been waiting for me?'

The boy looked out through the broken glass into the rain.

There was no obvious setting sun through the thick grey clouds, but it was noticeably darker than when Asha had been on the street. The wind was blowing with less ferocity, although it hadn't dropped entirely, and the rolling thunder was slowly receding into the distance. The walkers were already less agitated, their attention seemingly on nothing at all and their heads only jerking occasionally at the odd crash of something banging in the wind.

The boy's eyes turned inwards as he spoke, his voice sounding far away.

'God told me you would come. I used to stand for hours in front of that sign, staring at it, trying to puzzle it out, wondering about the guy who wrote it, wondering even more about who was following him. I knew,' he tapped his chest, 'I prayed and I just felt it, that the person who came following that sign was going to take me somewhere. It was God telling me to be strong. I watched everyone who came through town, but they never saw me, never unless I wanted them to.' He looked at her suddenly and his eyes gleamed in the rapidly fading light. 'Most only glanced at the sign, some looked at it for a few minutes, but they all just moved on. People paid even less attention to it after the bottom was torn away. Until you. I'd almost stopped wondering about you, and now here you are.' His voice was eerily soft of the final words.

Asha's hands had tightened around the arrow she still held. 'Just how long have you been here on your own?

'Alone? Since the beginning, almost the beginning.' His shoulders started to shake. 'I've been so lonely. So lonely. But I won't be anymore, not now that you're here.' He looked at her, dark eyes wide and wet. 'You are going to take me with you right?

Asha's shoulders slumped and she sank down against the wall. She struggled to think what it would be like being out here on your own for that long, clearly too afraid to approach anyone who came through the town—except for her due to this strange fixation he seemed to have developed with her and Nash's coded signs. She swiped her free hand down past the corner of the mouth. 'Yeah kid. I'm gonna take you with me.'

His tear stained face split into a huge grin.

'What's your name?' she asked tiredly.

'Seth.' His smile widened. 'What's yours?'

'Asha.'

Asha looked down at his arrow, held loosely in her lap. It was amazing that he'd managed to stay alive so long. She hoped some time in the company of people again was all that was needed to bring him back to normal.

She hoped like hell that he really knew what was on the bottom of Nash's sign.

* * *

They were on the road before day break.

Seth—quite cleverly actually—had a car that he kept running by starting it up every month or so and taking it for a spin to keep the engine and battery ticking over. Asha had breathed a sigh of relief when he had volunteered its existence. It took a certain amount of trust to have someone ride pillion on the bike—and Asha's skin crawled at the thought of having Seth that close to her, with nothing to stop him dragging a knife across her throat or stabbing her in the back whilst he sat behind her.

Paranoid maybe, but she still wasn't doing it.

She'd spun Seth some lie about her car breaking down some miles out of town, and had resigned herself to walking at least some of the way back—hoping that Daryl or Michonne would be out soon looking for her and would pick them up—when Seth had volunteered the information about his car.

With that knowledge, Asha had spent a restless night. Seth, after packing up a collection of belongings—which Asha couldn't help notice included all the crucifixes from the wall and a well thumbed bible—had contentedly curled into his sleeping roll, telling Asha that his place was quite secure and there was need to keep watch, and had promptly gone to sleep. He looked much younger asleep, snoring softly every now and then.

Asha had shaken her head—no way she could sleep with a stranger in the same room.

She hadn't even tried. On top of the news about Nash, there was a gnawing pit of anxiousness in her stomach that she hadn't made it back to the prison. Rick and Michonne were going to be pissed, and Daryl… She shuddered to think about how furious he was going to be. She could already see his eyes flashing and jaw rippling...and now she was coming back without his bike.

In all likelihood they wouldn't really start to worry unless she failed to make it back within a few hours of day break—particularly if the same storm had hit the prison. They'd just think she'd holed up somewhere to ride it out. If she got an early start, she could still get back before the sun had been up long, and hopefully avoid being chewed out for worrying everyone.

Instead of sleeping, she had paced Seth's apartment, making use of the bathroom and a towel she borrowed to dry herself up as much as possible, then confirming that the exits and rooms in the apartment were all like Seth had said. She'd checked out his storeroom, noting that it only held spare blankets and clothes—nothing she needed to be concerned about—and then had gathered up all of his canned goods into a pack she'd scrounged from amongst his belongings. She felt his eyes on her whilst she was packing, and turned to see him wide awake, staring at her in the dark.

'It's ok,' he said. 'We should take all the food. There's more in that cupboard over there behind the blanket.' He nodded with his head across the room, then his teeth gleamed in the darkness before he rolled over and promptly started snoring again.

Asha spent the rest of the night pacing between his sleeping form and the front room, watching the dead slowly drift away as the storm faded into simple rain and then eventually into stillness.

As soon as the sky started to lighten, Asha warily nudged Seth awake and they made for the car—a beaten up Ford. Asha held her breath whilst the engine tried to kick over, and breathed a sigh of relief as the engine spluttered to life.

'Told ya,' Seth said, grinning a genuine looking smirk of satisfaction. 'Told ya I kept it running.'

Asha found herself half smiling response. 'Yeah Seth, you've done good.'

His chatter filled the car as they traveled—how many people were at her camp, how long they'd been there, did they pray, was there a priest, did she think he would fit in? Asha rubbed her sandy eyes as she drove, muting his voice down to dull roar in the back of her mind—a dull roar that competed with the throbbing of the headache she could feel building at the base of her skull.

He kept on. It was like the fact that she'd agreed to take him back had freed him to act like a teenage kid again. Either that or he'd been saving up all the words he hadn't been able to say to anyone the entire time he had been on his own—and they were spewing out of him like verbal diarrhea. Asha took a hand off the steering wheel and rubbed her temples.

Just like a teenage kid—except that the little bastard was blackmailing her with the information she needed about her brother.

'Seth,' she finally snapped. 'Shut up man. Until you tell me what was on the bottom of my brother's sign I'm not answering any more of your damn questions.'

For a second his eyes flashed angrily at her before settling into a wide eyed look of shock. His lips compressed into a thin line.

'I just don't want you to leave me behind,' he said, drawing his knees up to his chest and looking sullenly out the window.

Long moments passed, and Asha shifted uncomfortably as the silence thickened. She grit her teeth, determined not to be the one to break it. Then she glanced at Seth, curled up on the seat, hands limp in his lap and face blank.

_God damn it._

'Hey,' she said.

He glanced at her before his eyes rolled back out the window.

'Look, you'll get along fine there,' she offered. 'They're good people. Friendly. You're gonna like it there.'

He looked back at her, and blinked a couple of times before nodding. Then his eyes flashed to the front of the car and he suddenly sat upright in his seat.

'Ah, Asha...'

She followed the direction of his eyes and swore violently at the black smoke streaming from under the hood of the car. A quick glance at the dashboard revealed the temperature gauge was well in the red. There was a sudden loud bang and the car lurched sideways. Asha stomped on the brake and they came to a tyre squealing halt just short of tipping into the ditch on the side of the road.

Asha, breathing hard and suddenly wide awake, shared a glance with Seth, who had both his hands braced against the dashboard.

'Fuck,' she breathed.

She turned the key in the ignition, but nothing happened, and she tipped her head backwards on to the headrest behind her for an instant. Then she got out of the car and slammed the door.

The sun had just barely crept over the horizon, the shadows from the trees on the side of the road stretching long across the black tarmac. The earth was still damp from the storm the night before and Asha paused for a second to breath in the rain clean smell of the countryside—trying to suppress her frustration. It was still early, realistically she shouldn't expect anyone to be this way looking for her for hours. Then she rolled her head on her shoulders and took in the mass of walkers spreading across the road in the distance. Not near enough to be immediately concerned about, but near enough that she didn't want to sit in the car and wait around.

_Guess we walk from here._

She pulled her compass and the map from her pack on the back seat. They'd passed a crossroad only a mile or so back, she traced her finger along the road they were travelling. That would put them about here. She absently noted that Seth had gotten out of the car and had come around to her side of the vehicle. She carefully angled her body to obscure his view of the map. The shortest route was almost directly north from where they were, they could cut across country for a few miles before crossing back across the road that would take them back towards the prison. She looked down at the compass, taking a bearing, as she rolled up the map.

Seth had already pulled his pack from the car and, bow in hand, was watching the dead creeping towards them across the fields. He might have seemed a kid whilst he was rambling in the car, but his relaxed but ready stance suddenly reminded Asha of the accuracy with which he'd fired that bow from the roof of his apartment. It wasn't an accident he'd survived almost two years on his own.

She pulled out her can of pink spray paint before tugging her pack on to her back.

'What are you doing Asha?' Seth said quietly, all traces of youthful exuberance gone.

'Two seconds,' she muttered, before giving the can a hard shake and spraying on the side of the car: _D, M gone cross country. A_.

_Good enough._

There was a sudden twang from Seth's bow and Asha turned in time to see a walker slump to the ground about three car lengths away, arrow protruding from its face. There were more behind it, but still some distance away.

Seth darted forwards to collect the arrow. 'We should go,' he said calmly.

She nodded, before gesturing with her head towards the woods on the other side of the car—in the direction of the bearing she'd taken from the compass earlier—and they slipped away at a jog into the trees.

* * *

**[A/N: Any one else pretty excited that they've made it to Alexandria on the show? Haven't seen them have to try to assimilate with another community for a long time - so looking forward to that. But Rick should have kept the beard.]**


	29. Chapter 29

Seth took the lead—it was more efficient that way with his bow—and he led them at fast pace through the woods, taking out the walkers directly in front of them, but leaving everything they could avoid alone. Eventually the area they were in seemed clear. The only noise Asha heard was her own harsh breathing and the rapid sounds of their footsteps beating through the brush.

'Hold up Seth.'

She slung her spear across her back out of the way and pulled out the compass. They'd been going in generally the right direction, but she corrected their course slightly and gestured for Seth to keep the lead with his bow.

'You're pretty good with that,' she said, stuffing the compass in her back pocket. 'Where'd ya learn?'

He snorted. 'High school archery. The basics anyway.' He held out the bow. 'Scavenged this early on and had lots of time to practice.'

'You hunt? For food I mean.'

He shrugged. 'I never had to, always managed to scavenge enough to eat. Guess I'll have to try some day.'

'There's a guy at our camp that hunts, he's pretty good. Might be able to give you some pointers.'

'Yeah?'

She shrugged.

They walked in silence for a bit, accompanied by the occasional bird noise and the constant hum of a thousand insects calling, scuttling and generally living their lives out among the trees. Asha drank it in. It felt good to be in the woods again. She liked the fact that although humanity might be fucked, nature was otherwise kicking along the way it always had.

There was a sudden discordant note in the woodlands noise. Her head jerked up, and a walker staggered snarling from behind a tree off to their right. Seth glanced at her before altering course to take them around it. It wasn't moving fast enough to concern them so they let it be.

'You aren't afraid of them are you?' Seth asked.

'Not really, not anymore.' She gestured dismissively at the one they'd just passed. 'And definitely not just one.'

'They're part of God's plan,' Seth said.

Asha rolled her eyes at the back of his head. _Some plan._

'It's the people you have to watch out for these days,' he continued.

Asha's eyes narrowed, remembering the warehouse in Braysville. 'Yeah, about that. Did you see anyone pass through town recently, group of about five or so men maybe?

'No. You're the first person I've seen in months.'

Asha frowned, it wasn't impossible that those men—whoever they were—hadn't gone down the main street, but seemed unlikely. As Seth had said, everyone went down the main street to scavenge.

'Who were they?' Seth asked.

'No-one.'

'Bad men?' His lips were compressed into a thin line as he glanced over his shoulder at her.

'Probably. What about a tall skinny guy, late forties I guess, with an eye patch. Might have been alone or maybe with a couple of other guys.' She rubbed her forehead. 'He could have come through...any time since the end of last summer I guess.'

'They were bad men,' Seth said grimly. 'All of them. Eye patch, the hispanic, the black guy. Bad men.'

'You saw them.' Asha took a couple of quick steps and grabbed him by the shoulder. 'When?'

'Ages ago. About the end of summer, maybe the start of fall. It wasn't long after your brother, I think.' He shifted his bow from one hand to the other and started walking again.

Asha dropped her hand from his shoulder.

That didn't make sense. If Seth had seen Nash about six months ago, that would have been after the Governor came through.

'I was going to kill them,' Seth said, looking back over his shoulder. 'God wanted me to, they were bad. But there was three of them, and I wasn't sure I could get them all before they got me.'

'Pity,' Asha muttered.

Seth's eyes flashed to her quickly.

'Have you ever killed anyone Asha?' he asked softly.

Asha missed a step. Well, the Council was going to ask him the same thing. She supposed he had a right to ask too.

'Yes,' she said flatly.

He nodded. 'I thought so. I can see you're strong. Knew you'd have to be to be the one who's going to help me.'

Asha sighed. 'What is this help you think I'm gonna give you Seth. I'm just taking you back to my camp.'

He grinned at her over his shoulder, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

'Do you want to know a secret,' he said.

'What secret?'

'The one they didn't want anyone to know about before…before it all changed.'

'Why didn't they want anyone to know about it?'

He looked at her like she was an idiot.

She shrugged. 'Fine, what's this secret.'

'You already know it.'

'Don't reckon I do.'

'Yeah you do. You know what it takes to survive.'

She looked at him.

'Go on. Say it. You know what you gotta be willing to do.'

Asha narrowed her eyes at him.

'You've gotta be willing to kill.'

His eyes burned with a startling ferocity as they pinned her over his shoulder.

Asha ignored the tremor in her stomach and shrugged. 'Don't know that that's much of a secret anymore.'

He giggled. 'Nah. That's why there's another secret. A deeper one. Hidden inside the first one. The real secret. It's the key to this world. It's the real one that they didn't want anyone to know.' His head twisted from side to side as he spoke. 'They piled society on top of it, tried to bury it in rules. But it was still there…oh yes, it was still there, waiting to come out…you know this secret too.'

Asha's skin crawled. She was suddenly very happy that she'd kept him out in front of her where she could see him.

'I don't know what you're talking about.'

'Don't hide Asha,' his voice was teasing and his eyes overly bright. 'I've seen it. It's in your eyes. You know it. You know it and I want to hear you say it.'

'Why don't you tell me what it is?'

He frowned, looking almost childish in his petulance. 'But I know you know it.'

'Maybe I want to hear you say it.'

She didn't, but there was definitely something not right about Seth and she wanted to divert him before he realised she had no idea which particular tree of crazy he was barking up.

His feverish eyes lit up. 'Yes, yes. I should say it.' He licked his lips, eyes darting around. 'It's easy.'

'What's easy?'

'Killing people, it's easy.' He giggled. 'That's what they didn't want anyone to know. Life isn't sacred or special its just—' he held out his hand and blew on his palm like he was blowing away dust, '—pfft.'

Asha felt sick to her stomach. There was no way she could take Seth back to the prison with all the people there. Maybe she could knock him out and leave him somewhere in the woods.

'I thought all life was sacred to God,' she said. 'Didn't he tell us not to kill each other?'

Seth nodded vigorously. 'Once maybe. But he made life fragile too, and he can take it away anytime he wants.'

Asha cast about desperately for something to say. 'The man with the eyepatch, how did you know he was bad?'

'He was alive.'

Asha waited for him to continue, and then slowed when he didn't say anything further.

'That's it?'

'Yes.'

Seth looked around at the leaves in the trees, a strangely peaceful expression across his handsome features. 'This is all part of God's plan Asha. God is wiping out mankind for its sins—and can you blame him. We're lost. We've been lost for years...'

Asha came to a dead stop. 'You really think this is God's plan?' She could feel the sneer starting on her face and fought it down. She didn't need to aggravate him.

He wouldn't have noticed.

His face was alight, eyes lost. 'Yes. It's like the flood...or the plagues in Egypt. It's the rapture Asha. All the good people have been collected and God is wiping out the rest. All of us who are left are bad people. Bad, bad people. God wants us all to turn. The whole world is being washed clean in blood, and at the end, when all the dead eventually rot away...it will all start again.'

She stared at him in horror, and then shook herself. 'So why not just kill yourself, if God wants everyone left to turn?'

Seth's eyes were wide and feverish. 'At the end, if it comes to it, I will. But for now, God's chosen me to help him carry out his plan.' He smiled widely. 'And God has sent you to be my helpmate. That's what the sign was for.'

'What do you mean, what plan?'

He frowned, brow creased. 'People are stubborn. People are fighting it, trying to stay alive. That's why God chose us to help.' His eyes locked on hers. 'We're going to kill them all—starting with the people at the prison.'

Asha reeled back as if slapped, chest heaving as she struggled to breathe. 'I never told you where we were going.'

'I know. But I had my suspicions when you were looking at the map back at the car—and you just confirmed it.'

_Shit_.

Guess she wouldn't just be knocking him out.

Asha swallowed hard. 'And when we get there, you want to...'

'It's the only way Asha.'

Her mind gaped, an open chasm blank with shock at what he was saying—but then she suddenly she saw half a spray painted sign. He still had information she needed.

'What was on the bottom of my brother's sign Seth.'

'No. That wasn't the deal. I'll tell you when we get back to your camp.'

'But you know where the camp is now,' she said, struggling to keep her voice calm. 'It's only fair that you tell me about the sign now too.'

His brows furrowed. 'That sign is only a distraction for you Asha.'

'Do you even know what was on the bottom of it?'

'It doesn't matter. It served its purpose. It brought you to me.'

'You tell me now,' Asha hissed, temper fraying. 'We don't take another step until you do.'

'This isn't right,' he said, lips twisted suddenly and head turning from side to side. 'You aren't supposed to care about _him_. The sign brought you to _me_. Me…I had to make sure you stopped. I had to. I tore down that bottom part myself—' Asha's intake of breath was sharp '—but it doesn't matter what it said.'

'It matters to me.'

'Maybe now, but once you give yourself over to God's plan… You won't even remember his name. Don't you want to be a servant of God?'

Asha growled in her throat. 'I don't give two flying fucks about your God or his plan,' she hissed. 'I want to know what was on the bottom of that sign, now.'

She didn't see him swing his arm, but his open handed slap connected solidly with her cheek and her head snapped sideways.

'That's blasphemy Asha. I won't have it.'

Her cheek glowed.

She snarled. 'Blasphemy? There is no fucking god you crazy shit.'

He backed away, shaking his head. 'You don't mean that, you're supposed to be my helper.'

Asha's voice was flat. 'There. Is. No. God.'

Seth's face blanched for an instant before settling into resignation. He scrubbed his hand through his curly hair.

'That's what Nash said, but you...Asha, you were supposed to be different.'

Asha stepped back, heart racing and throat dry. She sucked her teeth, desperately trying to work some moisture back into her mouth.

'How…' Her voice failed. She tried again. 'How do you know my brother's name?'

He smiled at her, a falsely warm smile that went nowhere near his eyes. 'You told me. Back at my apartment.'

'No,' she shook her head backing away. 'I didn't.'

She knew she hadn't.

Her eyes narrowed and she hissed at him. 'You spoke to him. You lied to me.'

'Doesn't matter. He wasn't important. He didn't believe. But you were supposed to be different. I'm so disappointed in you Asha.'

_Wasn't._

Asha's stomach dropped.

Had Seth always talked about her brother in the past tense?

Her right hand was hanging loosely by her side, close to her knife. Asha wondered if she could get it free quickly enough.

Seth's eyes flicked to her hand.

'What did you do to my brother Seth?'

'I freed you from him.'

Asha snarled. She clawed at her knife and it near flew into her palm—but Seth was watching and he seized her wrist roughly before the blade was entirely free of the sheath.

Her right hand was the decoy.

She swung with her left. A roundhouse blow driving all her weight behind her fist—her stainless steel mesh clad fist—into Seth's temple. Eyes glazed, he reeled sideways, fell to a knee, pushed himself upwards and staggered away, hand clutched to his head.

Before he'd taken two steps Asha's knife was out, glinting in the sunlight, as she dragged it across the back of his knee.

There were still answers she needed.

The tendons twanged and snapped under her blade and Seth gave a high pitched squeal and pitched face first into the dirt. Breath hard, sneering, Asha kicked his bow away and loomed above him, white knuckles tight around her blade.

'Tell me. My brother. What did you do to him?'

At first she thought he was choking, then she realised he was laughing into the dirt, plumes of leaves and dust billowing under his breath.

He clawed himself forwards, upwards, forcing himself over onto his back. He giggled and choked, eyes watering, snot streaming and blood pooling in an ever increasing expanse below his leg. His giggle rose to a laugh, then an open guffaw.

Asha's breath ripped in her chest. She grit her teeth, took a step forwards and swung her boot—collecting him under the jaw and snapping his head back. He keeled over onto his back, but came up spraying blood and teeth and laughing still. Fury seething in her stomach she drove her gloved fist into his face, feeling his nose crunch as he sputtered.

'Tell me,' she spat. 'Tell me or I will leave you here for the dead—' her mouth twisted, 'for God's own children—and you can see how much God's plan counts for then.'

She could hear them in the trees around them—drawn by their fight. Not many yet, but there would be more.

'Oh Asha. I am so disappointed in you.' His voice was cloyed through his broken nose. Blood dribbled down his chin and he tongued the new gap in his teeth. 'You had the chance to be part of God's plan….but you're throwing it all away.' He pulled his knees into his chest, having to wrap his hands around his crippled leg and pull the weight in manually. 'I'll tell you what I did to Nash...'

He suddenly launched himself at her—with surprising agility and strength given his one legged support—collecting her just below the ribs and driv ing the air from her lungs as he landed on top of her. Her knife flew backwards out of her hand.

She twisted desperately away, trying to dislodge him by swinging her pack into his face as she rolled over—from back to stomach to back again. It almost worked and she felt his grip slip but then tighten around her hips. She gagged for air, struggling to drag herself backwards along the earth trying to create some distance between them.

'I killed him Asha.'

Mouth open, gaping for air, she could barely move. His words opening a pit in her mind that she could feel herself slowly slipping into.

Nash was gone.

Seth's hands clawed further up her waist.

'At first I thought he might be the one who was going to help me. But he laughed at me when I spoke about God,' —spittle sprayed at his words— 'he said this world was proof there was no God. He couldn't see it, so I didn't tell him God's plan.'

She was transfixed by his words. She could hear Nash laughing at him.

'But I lured him in Asha, helped him, and whilst he was sleeping in my apartment, I crept up on him.' His twisted face crept ever forwards. 'And do you know what I did then Asha, after looking at your giant brother sleeping...'

There was something hideously intimate in the way he kept repeating her name. His hand clamped on to her shoulder and she felt the weight of his body dragging along hers. She twisted violently, but he pinned her right hand with his good leg.

'I stabbed him, right here—' a harsh finger drove into her chest, just to the left side of her sternum. 'Right in the heart.' He giggled, mad eyes looming and streaming face dripping blood and mucus on her chest. 'And then I let him turn...just like I'm going to let you turn.'

His belt knife was in his hand.

Nash was gone, because this crazy fucker had murdered him in his sleep.

Asha snarled, teeth bared and body bucking futilely under his weight. She scrabbled desperately with her left hand trying push him away. 'You're gonna bleed out from that leg and the dead will get you anyway,' she hissed.

He giggled. 'God's plan, God's plan.'

His swung with his knife at her chest and and Asha met it with her gloved left hand, taking the blow in the back of the hand as she protected her chest. Her hand exploded in pain at the force of the blow and the blade bit through the stainless steel mesh part way into her hand—but stopped well short of her chest.

She howled.

Seth growled in frustration and yanked the blade free, weight shifting off her right arm. She smashed her right fist into to his face, and again. Blood splattering to the side his gripped loosened on the blade momentarily and she wrapped her left hand around it and wrenched, ignoring the scream of the bones grinding together in her hand.

Hand slick with her own blood she dragged the blade across Seth's throat.

His watery eyes bulged and he choked and spat and drooled in her ear and across her neck, hands clawing her arms a long moment before he gave a gurgling hiss and slumped dead eyed on her shoulder. The warmth of his blood pumped out across her chest.

Wide eyed, she stared blankly for a moment. The world was silent. Above her, the leaves moved gently in the breeze and the dappled sunlight danced across her vision.

The pumping blood slowed to an ooze. She moaned softly and grappling with the body with her good hand heaved and rolled it off her.

She rolled onto her knees, rocking there for a moment, cradling her agonising hand to her body and feeling the still warm blood trickling down her face, down her back and between her breasts. The sound of rushing blood filled her ears, white noise that blocked everything out. Nash was gone, the thread that held her together undone, she was adrift. The woods around her ceased to exist and everything started to fade away.

Then she remembered to breathe.

She drew a shuddering breath, tasting blood, and just like that, the sound of the world came rushing back, and her body broke. She pitched forwards onto her good hand uttering a low moan that built into a wail.

Too late she remembered the walkers when she heard the animalistic groans behind her. She twisted, clawing for a knife that was no longer there, scrambling backwards on her butt and one good hand as it came towards her, blinking frantically trying to clear the tears and blood from her eyes. A part of her just wanted to lay down and let it happen, but the bigger part scrabbled desperately at the strap of the spear gun still slung across her back and tangled in her pack. As she tugged the the strap over her head, struggling with the weight of the gun one handed, the walker rocked back, its forehead suddenly decorated with the red fletching of a crossbow bolt.

Red just like the bolts she'd given Daryl a few days ago.

Her head whipped around, and there he was. Bare armed and scowling he strode towards her. A walker lurched for him and he swung his crossbow like a club and splattered its brains against a tree.

_He isn't here, I'm hallucinating. _

She choked on a sob, keeping her eyes on him and waiting for the instant when he wavered and disappeared.

He slowed as he came nearer, and then stopped short a few paces away, glancing at Seth. His eyes roamed across her, scouring every inch of her skin and searching her face. He took another step forwards, and then stopped.

'Asha?' His gravelly voice was uncertain.

She couldn't move.

'Asha?'

His voice was so soft.

Her spear gun dropped to the ground and she lifted her shaking hand to her face to wipe the blood out of her eyes.

'Are you really here?' Her voice trembled.

Suddenly he was crouching down next to her, laying his crossbow on the ground and wrapping his hands around her upper arms.

'Yeah I'm here.'

Her shoulders shook and she started sobbing uncontrollably.

'He killed my brother Daryl, he killed Nash.'

Hearing her own voice say it was too much, too real. She tipped her head back and screamed.

'Asha!' Daryl shook her, not hard, but firmly enough to bring her back to him. Her head tipped forwards under the weight of her tears. He pulled her chin up. His hands were red where they came away from her.

'Sorry baby, just..' He held a finger up in her face. 'Just stay.' He spun to his feet, grabbing up his crossbow and in some detached corner of her mind that still functioned Asha heard him taking out the handful of encroaching walkers.

Then he came back into her field of view, cross bow and Seth's recurve bow and quiver across his back. Her pulled her to her feet with his free hand, picking up her spear gun and pressing into her hand. He pulled her knife from the back of his pants and put it back in the sheath strapped to her thigh. Then he grasped her by the arms and his blue eyes pierced into hers.

'We gotta move. Ya ok to follow me?'

She nodded.

'Good.'

He kept hold of her arm as they moved.

* * *

**[A/N: So, got the author's note at the end of this chapter instead of the start, because I didn't want to influence you before reading it. I am nervous about this chapter! It is fairly pivotal for the story but I am not sure I've done it justice. I've probably rewritten this chapter more than any of the others and I am still not 100% satisfied with it.**

**It needed to be brutal, but is it too brutal? Is Seth believable as a crazy nutter? How do you feel about Asha hamstringing and then killing the guy? What do you think about Daryl finding her at the end?**

**Would love your feedback on this one!**

**Also, as usual, welcome to the new favourites and followers and much love for the reviewers for last chapter. For those of you who picked up that Seth was not trustworthy - you weren't wrong!]**


	30. Chapter 30

**[A/N: I have to apologize for the delay in getting this up. I got a new job last week (which i am pretty damn excited about), but which means i am going to be pushed for time for the next month or so, whilst i transition out of one job and into the next. So, realistically, i reckon i will only be able to manage one chapter a week for the next few weeks. However, I guarantee that this story will not be a fan fiction that fades away into incompleteness. I already know how it ends - I've written part of it - but there's still a bit of detail to fill in between here and there. So i hope you bear with me.**

**Thank you so much to all of you who took the time to leave me some feedback on the last chapter. I am truly overwhelmed and grateful for the response - because, let's be honest, you've got no perspective on the things you write yourself, so your feedback is more valuable than you know. I am glad you weren't expecting Seth (and that you didn't trust him when he showed up), and that you liked Daryl putting in an appearance at the end. Also, i'm not gonna lie, it just makes me happy that you guys are digging this story!****]**

* * *

There was nothing but the hollow feeling in her chest and the pressure of Daryl's hand wrapped around her arm. Her vision was a blur of tears and she stumbled along blindly, Daryl's hand the only thing holding her upright. She had no sense of where they were going or how long they walked.

Eventually Daryl paused, and Asha sank to the ground as soon as he let go of her arm. He dropped his bow and pack, and then gently levered Asha's pack of her back, her arms limp and pliable. Through her grey haze of grief, she was vaguely aware that the trees had thinned and the sun seemed stronger on her skin. There was pressure on her feet and then her boots were gone.

Daryl tried to take off her glove but she gave an agonised moan and pulled her hand in to her chest. He left it, and pulled her gently to her feet and forwards a few paces.

Asha blinked rapidly as the sensation of wetness washed over her feet. The gurgle of rushing water finally penetrated the fog in her head and she looked up. They were at the river, a river, somewhere, the dancing surface shimmering back at her in the sunlight—its sharp beauty hurting her head and her heart after the events of the last hour.

Cool water suddenly poured down her face and she gasped, looking wide eyed at Daryl. He lowered the water bottled he'd just upended over her head, and wiped his calloused hand gently across her forehead and cheeks, his hand red when it came away.

'Ya can't see yourself,' he muttered, bending to the refill the bottle.

She looked down and all she saw was blood, slick and clotting and covering her, as though she'd bathed in it. Her clothes were soaked and the rivulets of water had left track marks through the semi dried blood on her chest. Around her ankles plumes of blood drifted away like ribbons in the current.

Her stomach churned and she staggered a few steps from Daryl and retched into the water.

Daryl grasped her by the arms and gestured to pour another bottle of water over her. She shook her head, pushing the bottle toward him.

It would take forever to get clean that way.

She staggered into the deeper water.

'Asha,' he called behind her.

She waved him off.

'I'm fine,' she croaked.

As soon as she was waist deep she dropped to her knees and leant back, pinching her nose, until her whole body slipped beneath the surface.

For a moment she was still, feeling the brush of the current across her limbs, until she started to feel as though her body was breaking into tiny pieces and washing away. Then she opened her eyes, looking up at the shifting pattern of the sunlight falling through the water, watching as the water around her ran from red to clear, until her lungs were screaming for air.

Then she stayed there a little longer, letting the burning sensation fill the hollow feeling in her chest.

She closed her eyes again.

Rough hands wrapped around her shoulders and she was yanked cruelly back above the surface. Water streaming down her face, she gaped for air.

Daryl was thigh deep in the water, fear filled eyes pinning her as he pulled her all the way to her feet.

'What the hell are ya doin'?' he demanded, giving her a rough shake.

Asha stared, stunned, as her shell shocked brain tried to process what he was on about.

He glared at her. 'Don't be so damn selfish.'

Asha suddenly realised what he thought she'd been doing laying so long under the surface of the water.

'I wasn't...' she protested. 'I'm not...'

He hissed between clenched teeth and let her go.

'Just keep ya damn head above the water.' He turned away from her, back stiff, and started back to the bank. He hadn't gone two paces before he spun around.

'What the hell did ya think runnin' off like that,' he roared, the corners of his lips rising in a snarl. 'Ya couldn't wait one damn day for me or Michonne to come with ya? Are you so fucking stupid that you didn't think about what was out here?'

She shook, whole body vibrating as his rage hit her. 'There was a storm. I couldn't get back… and then I met...' She snarled and bit the words out, 'that cunt...and he'd seen Nash.' Her shoulders slumped and her throat started throbbing. 'He described him, Daryl, exactly. His face, his spear gun...' Her fingers went to her left arm. 'His tattoo… and he knew his name.'

Daryl squinted at her. 'Asha...I'm sor-.'

'He lied,' she snarled.

'What?'

'He lied. He must have. His story didn't make sense. He said he saw Nash six months ago, that would have been winter, or near enough. Nash's sign in Braysville was from fall, and the one at the farmhouse said summer—so it could only have been early fall a most. Nash wasn't here when that bastard said he killed him.' She leant towards Daryl, her chin jutting out. 'He fucking lied.'

Daryl raked his hand through his hair.

'Ash, think about it,' he said quietly. 'Ya said ya self he described Nash. He must have seen him. And...'

Asha looked at him.

His brows had drawn down and taken half a step back. 'Ya know how hard it is to keep track of time these days.'

'He lied,' she hissed. 'Nash wouldn't have been so stupid as to trust that little bastard. He must have left another sign in town. I just have to find it.'

Even through her anger, the words rang hollow, desperate, in her own ears.

'Ya fuckin' kidding me,' Daryl growled, hands clenched into fists. 'No, Asha, hell no. Ya were chasin' shadows before, but this ain't even a shadow.'

Asha reeled back as if slapped, heart thumping in her chest. 'You don't get it,' she said.

'Well fucking try me Asha, cause I'm tryin' but this is really pushing it.'

She took a long shuddering breath, stillness and perfect numbness suddenly descending on her. 'I need him. Without Nash, I'm just the person who mutilated five people in the most horrible way.'

Daryl squinted at her.

Her voice was dead sounding in her own ears, but her eyes locked on Daryl, watching carefully for his reaction.

'We killed the men who hurt Ren. We hunted them down and left them to turn. But I didn't just kill them. Nash wanted to…to just kill them and be done with it...But that wasn't enough for me.' A muscle leapt in her throat and her face twisted. 'That would have been too good, too easy for them after what they did to Ren.'

She swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. 'My sister wasn't tough. She was such a sweet thing. Didn't have a mean bone in her body. But she was barely coping with this world when those men took her. They broke her before Nash and I could get her back. We followed them as quickly as we were able to, but it wasn't enough.'

The guilt surged in her stomach and she wanted to vomit. Her good hand balled into a fist and she had to look away from Daryl, out across the shifting water.

'Somehow Ren managed to get hold of something sharp and she slit her wrists. They just left her there to turn. She was naked. Newly turned. Body not so rotted that we couldn't see the marks all over her body of what those men had done to her.'

Her sister's long blonde hair had been a muddy, matted veil over her face—and Asha felt again the brokenness inside her as she remembered Ren's perfect features snarling and lunging for her flesh. Asha's hand was clenched so hard it shook, fury balling in her stomach.

Her eyes locked back on to Daryl's.

'I castrated them. All of them. And then I stuffed their bits into their mouths so that the first thing they ate when they turned was themselves.'

Daryl's face was carefully blank, but there was a tightness around his eyes he couldn't hide.

Asha's voice was flat. 'They weren't all dead when I did it.'

His face blanched, just a little, before he got it under control. A spasm of irrational hurt shivered across the surface of her shell of numbness.

She looked down at her shaking hands, voice trembling. 'I'm the person whose own brother was so sick at the sight of her that he couldn't stand to be around her.'

She was afraid to look back at him. There was silence, except for the water gurgling peacefully past their legs.

'What?' His gravelly voice was like iron.

'Nash left me.'

'I thought ya got separated by a herd?'

She could hear the walls going back up in his voice, and when she looked up he had taken a step back and his eyes were like flint. 'Ya lied to us.'.

'No!' She held a hand out to him, shaking her head. 'No. The herd was after. He came back. But right after I...did that to those men, we legged it for a day, as hard as we could. We weren't sure if we were being followed, and...we needed...distance, from that.'

She took a deep breath. Daryl's eyes hadn't softened, but he hadn't backed further away either. 'We holed up in a little cabin. When I woke up the next morning...Nash was gone. At first I thought he was just out hunting but then I realised all of his gear was gone. Except...' her voice shook. 'Except a photo, of him, me and Ren. On our first trip away after dad died.'

The photo swam into her mind, the three of them on a sun drenched beach in south Florida. Ren, their tiny little sister seated on Nash's strong shoulders and holding Asha's hand—all of them grinning the same wide mouthed grin.

Asha staggered slightly in the river before regaining her footing. 'It was his way of saying goodbye. He left, because he couldn't face me after what I'd done. So, I just waited for him.' She tried to shrug it off, staring vacantly at the moving water. 'He came back after a couple days, laden with fish. He'd found the river and we started following it after that. Said he just needed a bit of time to process it all.'

She neglected to say that once she realised he was gone, she had curled into a ball tucked under the stairs in the hallway and just laid there. She didn't eat, and once she'd finished the small amount of water she had with her, she didn't drink. She only moved when she needed to relieve herself, and there hadn't been much need for that.

Sleeping occasionally, but for the most part staring unseeingly at nothing, she couldn't remember thinking anything much at the time. Something in her had broken with Nash's abandonment. With the photo in front of her—both comfort and torture—the survival instinct that had pushed her since the turn had evaporated. She hadn't even had the will to put a bullet in her head. She'd just lain there.

Her whole body shuddered at the memory and her head hung. 'I wasn't in great shape when Nash came back. He basically had to force feed me until I got my strength back,' her mouth twisted, 'after he managed to convince me he wasn't just an hallucination.'

She looked up at Daryl, still standing hip deep in the water, eyes hooded and unreadable.

'He brought me back. I...I was going somewhere he couldn't follow...and i didn't even realise i was doing it at the time. After that, Nash made the big decisions for us.'

_What if I fucked up again and he left me for good?_

She swallowed hard. 'If he hadn't come back...I need him Daryl. What sort of fucked up person does what i did to those men?' Her face twisted with self-loathing, and she had to force the words out. 'And God help me, I would do it again. They deserved it… I just need him.' Her voice was tiny as she finished. 'You saw what I did to that guy in the woods.'

There was a long pause.

'Looked like ya killed him defending yourself.'

Asha snorted bitterly. 'After I hamstrung him so he couldn't get away and kicked his teeth in trying to get answers out of him about Nash.' She swiped her hand down past the corner of her mouth. 'He would have bled out from the leg even if I didn't slit his throat.'

She waited for Daryl's rejection. For him to walk away and leave her. For long minutes he didn't move, and Asha stayed there, certain that if he left, she would break into a million pieces and drift away with the current. The thin shell of detachment she'd drawn around herself was the only thing holding her up.

Finally she heard the sound of him moving through the water, and his hand appeared in her field of view, holding the red bandana from his back pocket. He pressed it into her hand.

'Clean up,' he said gruffly. 'Ya a fuckin' mess.'

Then he turned back towards the bank.

Asha fingered the cloth, hand trembling. Then, as if freed by the fact that Daryl hadn't immediately left, her shell of numbness shattered and she stumbled and fell to her knees in the water.

'Asha,' Daryl snapped. 'Head above the damn surface.'

She nodded, tears spilling down her cheeks again. She dipped the red cloth in the river and squeezed it out across her face.

Her eyes followed Daryl to the bank, tracing the glower on his face as he pulled off his sopping boots before settling on the grass, arms loosely crossed on the knees drawn into his chest. His eyes were hard as he looked at her over his crossed arms.

Her shoulders hunched a little under his gaze. Part of her wanted to look away, but she was afraid that he would vanish if she did so. She kept her eyes on him as she settled on her knees—keeping her head above the water—and scrubbed the blood off her arms and chest, using the red bandanna as a washcloth. Then she stripped of her tank—careful of her injured hand—before rinsing it thoroughly.

Her eyes never left Daryl's. Somehow, even over the distance across the water, she could see the anger fade out his eyes. She watched anxiously for it to be replaced by disgust, contempt—her heart pounding as she waited for him to lurch to his feet and stride away into the woods.

But he didn't.

Eventually, some of the tightness faded from around his eyes and mouth. The steel in his eyes faded into calm, and some of the tension shifted from his shoulders. She tucked her top and the red cloth into the back of her jeans to stop them drifting away, raked out the braid in her hair and tipped her head back in the water. She exhaled sharply as her eyes left Daryl's, feeling the sudden break resonate through her body. She quickly scrubbed her fingers of her good hand through her hair dislodging the flakes of dried blood, staring at the blue sky.

Then, heart pounding and chest heaving, she yanked her head forward and desperately searched for the blue of Daryl's eyes. He had leant forwards, chin resting on his crossed arms, and his eyes, hooded as they were behind his fringe of dark hair, quickly found hers.

She steadied her breathing.

She was fairly clean, but her clothing was still fairly gross. She recovered her tank and the cloth and then, unbuckled her thigh sheath and awkwardly stripped off her jeans, staggering awkwardly as wet fabric clung to her legs. Great clots of blood trapped by her waistband drifted away. Suddenly embarrassed, she turned her back to Daryl and, making sure she was covered to the neck in water, rinsed herself as well as she could without taking anything else off. Then she stood, pulled her top back on, started out of the water carrying her jeans and knife belt.

The practical mechanics of cleaning herself up had helped clear her mind. The grief at her brothers' death hovered just on the manageable side of incapacitating, but her eyes filled with tears again as the knowledge that he was gone ran through her.

She held onto Daryl's eyes as she walked out of the river, letting the water draining off her body drag away some of her pain.

Some part of her desperately wanted to know what Daryl thought about what she'd told him, but for now it was enough that he was still there.

She sat down next to him in the grass, clamped the waistband of her jeans between her feet and then started twisting them from the other end—twisting with her good hand and clamping the material with the elbow of her left between twist. Daryl tilted his head towards her, still rested on his crossed arms, and watched her wring the water from her jeans.

When she was finished, she spread her jeans out next to her in the sun, and held her hand out to Daryl.

'Now yours.'

'No.'

He was still dripping wet.

'They'll take forever to dry that way.'

'No.'

She glared at him, suddenly frustrated with him out of proportion to his simple refusal.

'Don't be so stupid,' she snapped. 'You're wearing boxer's right?'

He nodded stiffly.

'So what's the damn problem? This is the second time in a couple of days that I've been in my damn underwear in front of you. Doesn't mean anything.'

He grunted. But he stood up, stripped, and handed her one end of his jeans. He kept the other end though and they twisted in opposite directions squeezing the water out.

Asha weaved suddenly as a memory surfaced and Daryl gripped her shoulder. 'Ya alright?'

Asha forced a bitter laugh. 'I used to do this with Nash.'

Daryl squinted at her, a little confused.

'Dad would take us camping, after mum died, sometimes for weeks on end. We'd wash clothes in a tub and have to wring 'em out like this. Then about five years ago, Nash was drifting between jobs and he came to stay with me in the tiny little apartment I was in whilst I finished law school. The washing machine broke. Neither of us could afford a replacement immediately and there wasn't a convenient laundromat. So, for a few weekends we spent Saturday afternoons in the tiny bathroom, hand washing clothes and then drinking beer and talking crap as we wrung them out like this.'

Her mouth twisted sourly and she gave a vicious one handed wrench to Daryl's jeans before letting them go. He shook them out and then pulled them back on.

How could Nash be gone. Really gone.

He was her best friend. The four years between them had been just enough for her to idolise him growing up. She had unashamedly adopted his taste in music and lived in his cast off clothes and followed his lead. Eventually, as they'd gotten older, the four year age gap had meant less and less, until Nash's laid back nature had seen him fall comfortably into following Asha's lead. But the influence of those formative years had never fully faded, and Asha's sense of self was intrinsically tied to her brother's existence.

Nash's absence had left her feeling less than whole, but Seth's words in the woods had ripped half her identity away.

Her mother had passed away too early to be anything other than a vague memory of a warm smile and soft hands. Her life was built on the twin foundation blocks of her father and brother. She knew from experience with her dad passing that the gaping Nash shaped hole in her life would never be filled with anything other than a longing for his company—for something so mundane as sitting in a bathroom drinking beer and wringing out washing.

'I'm gonna have to clean that,' Daryl said gruffly, looking at her hand. It throbbed, and the occasional drop of water still leaking from the neoprene glove was red stained. She grimaced. 'Really?'

He grunted.

She gingerly moved her hand away from her chest and Daryl gently took it in his.

'Ready?'

'No.'

'Every movement as he gently teased off the fingers of her glove sent agony spiking up her arm, until the entire limb was pulsing. She grit her teeth, but she couldn't help the choking groan that rolled in the back of her throat. By the time both gloves were off, her head was hanging, loose hair stuck to her sweating face and breath hissing in sharp gasps through her teeth.

Daryl's fingers felt rough against her still wet skin as he rotated her hand. She whimpered at the movement. The back of her hand was a mass of swollen purple bruising with a half inch long gash where the blade had gone in. It hadn't gone all the way through to her palm, but it was deep and still oozing blood.

'Can ya move ya fingers?'

She tried, wincing as her fingers twitched.

'Jesus Asha, next time try to get ya hand out of the way.'

She half snorted, and touched her chest with the fingers of her other hand. 'Better the hand than where he was aiming.'

Daryl's hands stilled for an instant, but then he was wiping the blood from her hand gently with his wet bandanna and bandaging it in a strip of cloth pulled from his pack.

'It's going to need stitches, and I reckon at least some of the bones are broken. Gotta get ya back to Doc S or Hershel.

She nodded cradling her hand in her lap and pushing her sweaty hair back out of her face.

She expected him to get up, but he stayed kneeling at her side. Then he reached out and lightly touched her cheek, where she could already feel the blood pulsing in the bruise from Seth's blow.

'Damn it Asha, ya coulda died.' The words ground out of him. His bottom lip was folded into his compressed mouth and his eyes were tight.

'I..'

She wanted to be able to say she was sorry, but she couldn't.

'It was stupid I know, but I had to Daryl. Just like you had to go back for Merle in Atlanta.'

Not going had never been an option.

She brushed her fingers against the back of his hand, still held to her cheek. 'But I am really glad you came after me.'

He exhaled long and harsh through his nose and slumped down next to her.

'Ya wanna talk about it?'

In her mind, she her Merle's gruff voice ask the same question as they lay under the night sky at the prison. This time, however, she found that she did. She'd never really talked about Nash to the group in detail before. She wasn't superstitious exactly, but on some level she had felt like if she'd talked about him like he was gone, he would have been.

Now...now she just didn't want to think that she would be the only person left who knew him.

So she opened her mouth, and spilled out everything she could think of about her brother.

She started sobbing, quietly at first, and then uncontrollably—eyes stinging , nose streaming and great hacking sobs tearing her chest apart. Her whole body shook.

Daryl hesitated a moment, and then wrapped an arm around her shoulder. She turned towards his chest, leaning a little awkwardly over his leg, and wailed brokenheartedly into the front of his shirt. He grumbled slightly after a moment and shifted his leg behind her and pulled her closer, so that the strength of his legs and arms were wrapped around her as she fell to pieces against his body.

She wasn't sure how long she cried, and once she stopped she didn't feel the need to move, cheek nestled against his chest, hands fisted in his shirt, as the tears dried on her face.

'What happened?' he asked eventually. 'Rick said ya were just going out to find the next marker?'

'I did, then…'

She filled him in roughly on what had happened, starting with her discovery of half her brother's sign and finishing with the bloodbath in the woods.

She frowned. 'There was something else. I went past a warehouse in town. A group, maybe five or six men, had camped in it. Campfire couldn't have been more than a day of so old.' She shuddered. 'I found a walker, under a pile of rubbish just outside. A new walker, recently turned, beaten to death. It's legs were broken and there wasn't any part of him that wasn't beaten to a pulp.'

She pulled back to look Daryl in the eyes. 'That group did that to him. Dunno why, but...' she shook her head. 'It can't be good. I don't like that they're in our neighbourhood.'

Daryl's eyes were steely as he looked down at her. 'Me either.' He looked up at the sky where the late afternoon was slowly edging towards twilight.

'Don't have time to look for 'em now though. If we don't get back tonight Rick and Michonne are gonna turn the whole camp out looking for us tomorrow.'

Asha hunched her shoulders. She hadn't meant to cause such a fuss. It had all seemed so straightforward when she'd left the prison yesterday.

'By the way,' Daryl growled, 'if ya ever look like doing anything so stupid again, I am gonna lock ya in a cell until ya grow up.'

Asha winced, but nodded.

He scooped his hand under her arm and pulled her to her feet. She caught his hand before he let go.

'I heard what you said before, in the woods,' she said softly.

His eyes narrowed at her.

'You called me baby.'

For an instant, his eyes widened, then he grunted and turned, trying to reclaim his hand. She pulled him back so he met her eyes.

'I liked it,' she murmured, watching the black in his eyes expand over the blue before he tugged his hand away.

'Gotta get movin',' he said gruffly.

Asha nodded, stooping to pick up her gear. She knew better than to push him too hard.

He tugged on his boots, picked up his crossbow, Seth's recurve bow and pack and then turned to face her.

'Now, where the hell is my bike?'

* * *

**[A/N: So, this is another chapter I am nervous about (hence the second author note at the end of the chapter). Not sure how the detail about Asha's past is going to go down - and because i have been a bit under the pump this week, I am not 100% satisfied with the writing quality in this chapter. Reckon it might get a rework if i get around to a re-edit on this story. So, as always i would love your thoughts!**

**Bridgetlynn - I get what you mean about the asshole factor, some of the characters on TWD are kinda unlikable at the moment (though i love them too). I think half the problem is it takes a bit of asshole to survive in this world - and, as this chapter shows, Asha (for better or worse) has got a bit of that in her too.]**


	31. Chapter 31

**[A/N: Hello new followers and favourites! And as always thanks to the kind reviewers, you make my day!**

**Leysha Gisel, Asha may _need_ a rest and recovery...but you know that's not gonna happen right?] **

* * *

Something was wrong.

Daryl was on the bike and Asha trailed him towards the prison―struggling somewhat with her injured hand to control the dual cab and change gears at the same time. After picking up Daryl's bike, they'd gone back past Seth's wrecked car, collecting all the food Asha had scavenged from his apartment, and the sun had finally dipped below the horizon as the drove through the woods surrounding the prison.

Asha could smell smoke, and then she saw the black plume rising from the yard. Her stomach lurched as she realised the pig sty was on fire, the flames blazing in the fading light.

The gate pulled open on the pulley system, but Rick, bare chested and bloody, waved them down as soon as they were through the inner gate.

'Stay back,' he called as Daryl killed the engine and Asha got out of the dual cab.

Behind him, the door to cell block C crashed opened and Carol, Michonne and Maggie ran towards them, Hershel following more slowly on his prosthetic leg.

Asha's heart was pounding.

'What the hell Rick?' Daryl growled.

Rick's face was drawn and grey and there were heavy lines at his eyes and sides of his mouth. He looked to have aged ten years since Asha had seen him yesterday. He came towards them but stopped a good five or six paces away, holding a hand up to stop them coming closer. Asha noted with some trepidation that his gun was back on his hip.

'There's a sickness,' Rick said. 'Patrick died in the night, Turned.' He raked his hand tiredly down his beard. 'He attacked some people in cell block B, before we even realised what happened.'

Daryl hefted his crossbow and started pacing.

'It was a blood bath,' Rick continued. 'We've got, ah I think, eight dead, and Karen and David are sick, we've isolated them in cell block A...' He trailed off, seemingly at a loss for what to say next.

Michonne, Carol and Maggie reached them, pulling up short beside Rick.

'You're ok Carol muttered, half reaching to Daryl―although he was well out of reach across distance. Her glare was cold and tight when she turned to Asha.

'What happened?' Michonne asked, eyes flickering between Asha's face and bandaged hand.

'Weather,' Asha said blankly, 'some trouble, but...' She turned back to Rick, brow furrowing. 'Sickness? I don't understand.' Her eyes roamed across the prison, blanching as she noticed for the first time the bodies piled near the line of graves.

'Patrick died overnight?' Daryl cut in.

Rick nodded.

Hershel had reached them. 'You see that?' He pointed to a walker at the fence, great bloody trails running beneath its eyes. 'There's more like that. Something that killed them when they were human, and now it's been transmitted to us―we think maybe it was the pigs.'

'Not the cat?' Asha suddenly panicked. _Please tell me I didn't bring this down on us._

'No,' Hershel said. 'He's healthy, despite the couple of rats he's made a meal of the last few days―and we know one of the pigs was sick.'

That explained the burning sty.

'What is it?' Daryl asked.

'We don't know,' Rick said. 'Some sort of flu we think, but we don't know how quickly easily it spreads, hence...' He waved at the distance between them. 'Hershel and Doctor S doubt it's airborne―or we'd have a lot more cases―but best to keep your distance. All of us who went into cell block B...we've all been exposed.'

Asha jerked around, 'Glenn? is he ok?'

Maggie's lip trembled. 'He was exposed, but so far ok.'

'So what do we do now,' Daryl asked quietly, still pacing.

'Now?' Hershel said. 'Now we wait, and watch for more cases. If it's just Karen and David, it's contained. We treat them―'

'We can treat it?' Asha was hopeful.

'We treat them as well as we can,' Hershel said.

Asha's stomach sank.

'If not?' Daryl asked.

'Then we deal with it,' Carol said quietly.

Daryl, chewing on his bottom lip, nodded tightly.

'You two are in the guard tower tonight,' Hershel said, looking between Asha and Daryl. 'You're the least likely to have been exposed, so until we know more about this, you two need to stay away from the rest of us.'

'We need to make sure at least some of us can function,' Rick said quietly.

'Well get you anything you need from the cell block,' Maggie said.

Asha turned away and looked out across the yard, letting their voices recede into the background. It was all too much. She blanched slightly at the bodies piled at the far end of the line of graves, and then her eyes fell on the familiar outline of Merle's grave. Was it too much to ask to have a day―an hour―at home to mourn her brother.

_Oh god, Nash…_

For an instant she saw Merle standing beside his grave, half cocked grin on his face. She staggered in his direction.

She heard voices raised behind her, and then Daryl's cut through.

'Asha, Hershel or doc S need to look at ya hand.'

She waved him off. 'Later.'

She kept on towards Merle's grave, stumbling through the long grass that trapped her legs until she reached the mound of dirt. Absently cradling her injured hand to her chest, she scanned around the empty air around the cross hoping to see Merle's face again. Then her eyes fell on the strawberry plant she'd put in the ground a few days ago, brown and shriveled and most definitely dead.

She sank to her knees, gagging, open mouthed and blank minded.

'Asha,' Carol's voice was flat from where she stood several paces away.

Fuck, couldn't she get a minute to herself?

'Leave me alone.'

'Where were you?'

Asha looked at her blankly.

The silvery haired woman's eyes were cold. 'We needed Daryl here.'

Asha's eyes narrowed, a burning node of anger starting in her stomach. 'I didn't plan on getting stuck out there Carol, and I had no idea anyone was sick.'

'No. But you didn't think either did you? You should have known he would come after you―no matter what danger it puts him or the rest of us in.' Her mouth twisted bitterly. You made him care about you, so you have to own up to that. You can't just do stupid shit like he, like the rest of us, don't matter.'

'Yeah, well, at least he wasn't here and exposed to whatever this is.' Asha waved in the direction of the bodies.

'You don't get credit for that.'

Carol's flat tone was really starting to grate on her. She snorted softly. 'Why don't you say what you really mean Carol? You just don't like anyone else being close to him.'

The older woman stiffened. 'You take advantage of him.'

Asha's anger flashed into full flame. She lurched to her feet hissing. 'You take that back.' She took a step towards Carol, and Carol took one back. 'Take it back.'

'You do, whether you mean to or not. You take advantage of the fact that he'll do anything for the people in this prison, and he'll do more for you. I've seen how you look at him...Somehow he's always there to help you out, no matter what the rest of us need.'

'Oh fuck off Carol. If he didn't come back from a run or hunt I would be the first one looking for him―'

'―but he always comes back because he doesn't take stupid risks.'

'You know what Carol, whatever hang ups you've got about Daryl, don't be putting them on me. It's obvious you feel something for him, you've had plenty of time to do something about it and you haven't. So either do _something_, or stop punishing me because you're afraid that I might.' Asha's chest heaved as she spat the words out. Damn it, she hadn't meant to say that much.'

Carol shook her head. 'You've got no idea what you're talking about Asha, but if you put him in danger again, so help me God…'

Asha growled. 'So help you God what? You know, you have no idea what I've been through today Carol. Just go the hell away.'

'You've got no idea what we've been through today Asha, stop being such a selfish brat. You need to grow up. Your obsession with your brother is making you careless and dangerous. It's not all about you, you have to start thinking about what's best for the group.' Carol's eyes turned inwards for a moment. 'And sometimes that means making hard decisions, doing things that you don't want to do.'

Asha wasn't capable of handling criticism about Nash right then, it was too much salt in the wound. 'Fuck off Carol,' Asha nearly screamed, her good hand clenched and breath hissing through her teeth.

The silvery haired woman looked flatly at her a moment, before turning away. Asha watched her fade into the deepening twilight as she crossed the yard, a hard rock in her belly as she watched a shadowy figure with a crossbow on his shoulder meet Carol before she reached the courtyard.

'Ya gonna take that shit from her? Used to be timid as a mouse that woman.'

Her head snapped round. Merle was standing nonchalantly at the head of his grave, grinning at her,

'Merle,' she breathed, tears suddenly prickling behind her eyes.

'What's the matter girly, ya miss me?'

She forced a grin, but it trembled. 'You know it.' Her tears started falling. 'Nash…'

'I know girly.' Merle's eyes were softer than they'd ever been in life.

'Daryl doesn't think Seth was lying about it.'

'Mighta been. Might not 've been. Gotta ask ya self though, why he would?'

Asha closed her eyes. 'Yeah.' No matter the inconsistencies in Seth's story―the why was something she had no answer for. She sighed and rubbed her face with her hand. 'Am I taking advantage of your brother?'

Merle laughed uproariously.

'Hell baby girl, little Darylina needs some taking advantage of.' He flicked his tongue in and out of his mouth suggestively.

Asha half snorted, and shook her head. 'She wasn't wrong Merle. I knew when I left for Braysville that if anything went wrong he'd come after me. And as soon as something did, I started counting on it.' She grimaced. 'I never thought about whether the group needed him for something else. But he'd go looking for anyone that didn't come back from a run.'

'Oh yeah, he would.. but maybe not quite as quickly as he came looking for you.'

Asha's eyes flashed to Merle.

'Don't look surprised girly, I can't tell ya anything ya don't already know.' He moved away from the head of the grave and walked towards her. 'Ya know, it's only takin' advantage if ya ain't feel anything for him, and I know that ain't true.'

'You know you're not really here right?' Asha said softly as he came towards her.

'Course not sweetheart. I ain't really been here any of the times ya seen me since ya put me in the ground―but that don't make me wrong now does it?'

He stopped in front of her, lifting his hand towards her face but stopping short of touching her. She caught a faint scent of marijuana and southern comfort.

'No.'

'No. So what ya gonna do?'

She looked across the yard in the darkness―in time to see a crossbow wielding shadow pause at the base of the guard tower and look in her direction before going in.

'Something.'

When she looked back at the grave Merle was gone, but she felt him smile.

She looked at the dead little plant, her back straightening as she drew in a deep breath. She was going to get another one, and God damn it, the next one was going to survive.

* * *

Michonne was waiting for her at the base of the guard tower - carefully keeping several paces distance as Asha approached.

'Daryl told me about Nash. Asha, I'm really sorry.'

Asha swallowed hard and nodded. The loss reflected back in her friend's eyes was almost too much to bear.

'I'd give you a hug,' Michonne continued with a deprecating half shrug, 'but, you know, possibly infected.'

Asha choked a little, trying to hold back her tears. A hug from her friend would be pretty damn good right about now. 'Yeah. I'm gonna collect that later though ok?'

Michonne nodded.

They looked at each other in the dark a long moment.

'How did you do it?' Asha eventually asked, voice breaking. She didn't know the details, but she knew Michonne had a son, and the baby's father, before the turn. 'How did you cope when all of your family was gone?'

Michonne jerked, pain racing across her face, and then grimaced. 'Badly. Really, really badly. But...you do―cope I mean―because you have to.' She looked around at the prison. 'And then eventually Andrea, you, this group, brought me back.'

Michonne looked at her sympathetically. 'It gets easier.'

Asha closed her eyes for an instant, remembering her dad as she rubbed the heel of her good hand against the ache in her chest. 'I know.'

'And Asha, you're wrong about your whole family being gone. We're still here.'

Asha nodded. 'Yeah I know.' That mattered. She knew it did. She was just having trouble couldn't feel it right now under all the grief.

The door to cell block C opened and Hershel appeared, illuminated by the glow of a hurricane lamp. He had a scarf wrapped around his nose and mouth, and his medical bag in hand. He gestured Asha towards one of picnic tables.

'Come on,' Michonne said.

Asha nodded, took a step and then stopped. 'Michonne, can you ask him, all of them, not to say anything to me about Nash? Tell them I'll take it as read that they're all sorry, but...I just, I can't face all that right now.'

Michonne nodded understandingly, then paused to speak to Hershel before heading back into the cell block.


	32. Chapter 32

**[A/N: Hey lovely people. Reviewers, as always, your feedback is awesome, and I really love that Asha's relationships with Michonne and 'ghost' Merle are being well received. This chapter, however, is all Daryl and Asha. **

**I really hope you enjoy it. ;-)]**

* * *

Asha awkwardly climbed the ladder to the top level of the guard tower. Hershel had cleaned, stitched and bandaged her hand―scarf wrapped around his nose and mouth the entire time. One of the bones in her palm was definitely broken, and another probably fractured. Apparently she was damn lucky Seth hadn't severed any of the tendons in the back of her hand, though there was some damage to the tendons attached to her middle finger. Hershel had splinted her hand flat, bandaged it, and secured it in a sling so that it lay against her chest and the movement of her entire arm was restricted.

It made climbing challenging.

Step, step and then jump her good hand upwards.

Eventually she pushed through the open trapdoor and into the small room at the top. Night had fallen, but the moon was nearly full and the space was etched in tones of grey. Beyond the square outline of the door, Daryl was settled on the balcony, back against the wall and legs stretched out in front of him.

She went out and sank down beside him. He pulled the ring pull on a tin of creamed corn―no doubt one of the stash collected from Seth's apartment―and held it out to her without taking his eyes of the black treeline in the distance.

'Thanks.'

He grunted and handed her a fork. She gripped the tin between her knees as she ate.

Asha's eyes trailed over the prison as she scrapped the edges of the tin. There was only silence from the courtyard tonight, the place feeling stark and empty in the absence of the usual gathering of people. Asha could almost feel the grief rolling off the somber walls, and for the first time in a long time she was glad not to be inside.

'Ya ok?' Daryl asked as she put the tin down.

'Hmmm. Do you think it's just Karen and David?'

He chewed his bottom lip and then shrugged. 'We might be lucky.'

'Yeah. We might.'

She didn't feel it though. Couldn't trust to luck anymore.

'I meant are ya ok...after today?' Daryl said.

She turned to look at him. He was squinting at her slightly in the dark, bottom lip still folded into his mouth.

'No,' she snorted. 'No, not really. But it doesn't really matter does it? Everything else just keeps on going. Nash's gone.' She wanted to vomit. 'Just like Dad, Ren, Merle, the people who died here last night...and several million other people...Not that any of that makes it hurt less.' She looked at him for a long moment, his face was reduced to rough planes in the half light, but his eyes were still piercing. He nodded before looking back out into the night, and Asha was glad he didn't try to offer some sort of empty platitude.

'You never visit Merle,' she said softly, after a few minutes of silence.

He hadn't, apart from that first night when they'd buried him, he'd never gone near his brother's grave.

Daryl grunted. 'He ain't there. Sitting at the end of a damn mound of dirt don't change that.' He gave her a sidelong look. ''Sides, you visit him enough for both of us.'

She shrugged.

'What do ya talk to him about anyway?'

'Dunno. Everything. Searching for the Governor, how this place's changing, Nash...' Her voice broke. 'You.'

Daryl grunted. 'Reckon he hears?'

Asha snorted. 'I see him,' she laughed bitterly. 'I full on hallucinate seeing your brother―well, sometimes it's just his voice―but it's there. Plain as day.'

Daryl was looking at her askance.

'I know it's not him,' Asha said, shaking her head. 'The only afterlife that's real is the one moaning beyond the fence. I know it's all up here,' she tapped the side of her head, 'I know it's just some sort of coping mechanism, but….' she trailed off and was silent for a long minute.

'But what?' Daryl eventually prompted.

Asha looked down across the yard at the line of graves. 'I dunno. I just… I like visiting him. I like the quiet. People leave me alone when I'm down there―most of the time anyway. Merle was my friend, first one I had in a long time, and it means something to remember that... And your brother's worth remembering.'

Her lip trembled and she felt tears prick in the back of her eyes. She was so damn sick of her own tears. She dashed them away angrily before continuing.

'He would have walked through fire for you. You would have done the same for him―just like Nash and I would have done for each other. I― ' She exhaled forcibly, biting down hard on her bottom lip. 'It helps to remember that. Even if it wasn't enough...for either of them.' She hung her head. 'It feels real. I don't want to let that go.'

Daryl gave a small harrumph, before turning his attention back to the darkness. His dark hair hung forwards over his eyes and Asha found her eyes tracing the line of his shoulders, down to his arms, bare in the summer heat, following the dent of his shoulder muscle where it flowed down to his bicep.

_Something, remember―otherwise you might just end up punishing yourself._

She moved over, shifting her body so it sat against Daryl's, and linking her arm through his. She saw his eyes widen for an instant, before she rested her head against his shoulder. He didn't flinch, but she could feel a certain tightness to the arm she was wrapped around. She waited, acting like it was nothing that she was pressed up against him, waited as his muscles gradually relaxed.

Then she lifted her head and looked at him, pausing til he turned his blue eyes to her.

'I have a suggestion,' she said.

He arched his brows.

She leant forwards, heart pounding, and pressed her lips to his, softly and mouth slightly open. She kept her eyes open to his reaction. His whole body stiffened, even in the half light she saw his eyes widen and the black suddenly bleed out over the blue. His lips didn't move against hers, but his eyes held hers―and then she felt his free hand, grip her shoulder and push her backwards, very gently and―she thought―somewhat reluctantly. Her lips tingled as they broke away from his.

'Stop,' he murmured, his breath sounding somewhat short. 'I ain't Merle.'

Asha's mouth quirked. 'Well obviously. I reckon he propositioned me more than any other person I've know, and I didn't know him all that long.' She arched a brow. 'I doubt he'd be pulling back.'

Whilst she was talking, Daryl had disentangled his other arm from hers and was now gripping both of her shoulders, but he hadn't pushed her further away. Asha tried to hold his eyes, but he looked out over the guardrail, breathing heavily. She could feel his fingers pressing into her arms.

'Well?'

'Huh?' He looked back at her and her throat tightened at the guarded expression on his face.

'What do you think of my suggestion?'

'Ya don't want me,' he said softly, a crease between his brows and a sudden downwards twist to his mouth.

'What?'

'Ya heard me.'

She frowned, mind working. Why the hell would he think that, after all they'd been through together. Then she jerked suddenly with realisation, pushing back from him in shock. 'You think I want Merle?'

Daryl looked away, but she could tell from the way his jaw rippled that she'd got that right.

'Daryl...' She swiped the side of her face with her good hand and shook her head. 'It was never like that with him. Your brother was my friend, and I miss him. And hell, if he'd lived, who knows, but that's not what happened.' She reached out with her good hand, gripping the front of his shirt and tugging. 'But I never felt about him the way I feel about you,' she whispered, stomach fluttering. His face was tight as his eyes latched on hers.

'I don't look at you and see him, I see…I see the person who risks his neck for our people and thinks nothing of it.' Her voice gained intensity as she spoke. 'I see the person who never asks for anything back in return, who gives everyone else strength by being around, who would walk through fire for his family, who gave me the best day I've had since the world fell apart.' She broke off, choking on the lump in her throat and fighting for a moment to get her voice under control. 'Who cared enough to ride for nearly an hour with a half starved, flea ridden cat in a backpack to bring him home for me.'

His face was unreadable, but she wanted to think that perhaps some of the tightness around his eyes had faded.

'Now, if you don't want me, that's one thing, but this isn't about Merle...' She left it hanging, searching his face, looking for something to change, anything to let her know he believed her, that what she said had made a difference.

That he did want her.

Nothing happened.

Daryl's face stayed set in the same carefully blank lines, eyes guarded. For a long minute she held his eyes, waiting, but then, as she felt a crushing tightness build in her chest she twisted away and pushed to her feet, heading for the ladder.

She struggled to breath, feeling sick to her stomach. Had she really read him all wrong? She knew he cared, but she was sure there was more to it, that the way he was with her was different to how he was with everyone else. But if that was the case, why hadn't he said anything? Why hadn't he...done something? She ground her teeth together to keep her bottom lip from trembling. Her stomach suddenly twisted sourly, after what she'd told him earlier that day, after what he'd seen her do, he probably thought she was a psychopath, or at least half way towards crazy. She raised a shaking hand to her face. God, she was such an idiot.

Daryl's hand closed around her wrist.

'Where ya goin?'

'Down. Out.' _Away_. 'Just need some air.'

She tugged her arm, but his grip was like a vice. The rough skin of his fingers seared a trail of heat around her wrist.

'Let go Daryl. It's fine, I get it. After today,' her mouth twisted, 'I wouldn't want to be too close to me either.'

His hand didn't budge.

'That ain't it Asha, and what ya said just before, 'bout me not wanting ya…'

Her eyes jerked to his, blue and piercing. He was chewing on his bottom lip again.

She waited, heart aching.

'...that ain't it either.'

Asha felt the blood pulsing through her body.

Daryl swallowed and his eyes roamed around the room. 'Ya just...ya don't want this, not really. Ya just grieving.'

His eyes found hers again, and this time she could read their tightness for defensiveness.

He still hadn't let go of her.

'Yeah I'm grieving,' she said softly. 'I'm tired, stressed and lonely too. And part of this is because I want something in my life to be good right now, and part of it's because, if i'm gonna die tomorrow I don't want it to be with regrets that I could have done something about.'

She shifted, stepping closer towards him so that the wrist he still held was between them. 'But none of that means I don't know what I'm doing or what I want.' She smiled at him. 'You think this is the first time I've thought about this? That in some sort of half crazed grief stricken state the idea just popped into my head and on the spur of the moment I decided to act on it?' Her smile widened. 'Really?'

Daryl shrugged awkwardly.

She shifted even closer, until the back of both her hands, the one in the sling and the one still held by Daryl, were pressed gently against his chest. She could feel him breathing

'I'm not a little girl Daryl. I know exactly what I'm suggesting. Tell me that you haven't thought about this before.' Her eyes flickered from his eyes to lips and back again―the black in his eyes had expanded almost all the way to the edge of the blue. She slowly leant towards him. 'Tell me you don't want this,' she murmured, lips bare inches from his, '...and I will stop.'

She hesitated for a moment, giving him a chance to move―but when he didn't, she closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to his again.

She felt through the backs of her hands the instant he stopped breathing, but he didn't move away, and then his lips relaxed and moved against hers. She smiled, closing her eyes, and pulling his bottom lip between hers and pressing her teeth against it gently. He groaned, low and deep in the back of his throat, and Asha felt the sound surge in her stomach and pull through her entire body. Daryl's hand slid up the back of her neck, the rough pad of his thumb scourging along the side of throat before his fingers tangled in her hair. He let go of her wrist with his other hand grasped her hip, pulling her tight against him.

She could feel him, hard, pressing up against her.

She broke away gasping.

His hand fisted in her hair, tilting her head back and his lips went to her throat, trailing fire down her skin. She moaned involuntarily. Suddenly Daryl's hand was gone from her hip wrapping underneath her, his other hand arm pressed between her shoulder blades as he picked her up. She gasped, wrapping her legs around his hips, as he backed her against the wall. His lips were still blazing fire across her neck, up her jaw, before finding her lips again and claiming them hungrily with his own. She met him, hunger for hunger, wrapping her good arm around his neck, fingers digging into his shoulder, pulling him closer―and then grunting in pain as he pressed against her injured hand.

He pulled back immediately, dark eyes almost pained as he found hers.

'Ya ok?' he asked, voice hoarse.

'Fine,' she breathed, good hand going to the knot on the sling above her shoulder. 'Fine, just help me get this off.'

He supported her gently as she put her feet back on the ground, craning her neck to try to see the knot she was dealing with.

'Nah Asha, ya hand... Ya need to keep that on.'

'The hand's bandaged, it's fine. And I was never gonna sleep in this bloody sling anyway.'

Daryl hesitated, and she could see his eyes clouding―but before he could move back she grabbed the front of his shirt, holding him to her.

'Don't,' she said. His eyes were still dark. She loosened her grip, trailing her hand slowly down his chest until she reached the end of his shirt, then she slipped her hand underneath, brushing her bare fingertips against the skin just above his waistband, feeling his body jerk as she did so. 'Don't for one second think we're stopping.'

Daryl's hand gripped the back of her neck for an instant and she burned at the intensity in his eyes, then both his hands went to the knot and in moments her arm was free of the sling.

She bent and straightened her elbow a few times and then quickly wrapped both arms around his neck.

'Now, where were we?' she murmured.

Daryl growled, mouth against her throat, dark hair brushing against her cheek. His arms tightened around her, lifting, and she looped her legs back around him. Instead of backing her against the wall he moved sideways and then knelt, lowering her gently down on the bedroll. Her back relaxed into the blankets and her legs loosened. He supported his weight above her, sliding a hand along the side of her face, down her neck, chest and then the side of her ribs to her hip, before slipping his hand under the material of her singlet and teasing it slowly upwards.

His fingers felt as though they were made of electricity, sending static charges dancing across her belly. Her breath quickened.

His lips traced her collarbone, sucking, teasing, grazing with just the barest hint of teeth―mouth moving downwards as his hand moved up, bunching the material of her singlet as he went. She tipped her head back against the blankets and moaned. 'Daryl...'

The pressure of his mouth and hand was suddenly gone, and she looked up to see him settled back on his haunches between her legs. Breathing hard his eyes searched hers as she propped herself up on her elbows, communicating clear as day that she could pull back, still stop this, if she wanted. She laughed, low and throaty that he was even asking, and grasped the bottom of her singlet, pulling it―somewhat awkwardly with her one hand―up and over her head, before dropping it on the ground. Then she settled back on her elbows, grinning, as Daryl's eyes slipped from her face, down across her exposed skin.

'You're getting to see an awful lot of this bra lately.'

'Hmmm...' He was chewing on his bottom lip as he shifted towards her, walking his weight forwards on his hands until he had a hand planted either side of her elbows and his mouth was hovering just above hers, breath tickling her face.

'You wanna see what I keep in it?'

'Hmmm...' His lips pressed against hers and she wrapped her arms and legs around him, dropping back to the bedroll and pulling him with her. There was something profoundly comforting in his weight being pressed against her body―but it wasn't enough she desperately wanted to feel his bare skin against hers.

She trailed her unbandaged hand down his back and then slipped it inside his shirt finding the ridges of his spine.

The strength in Daryl's body was suddenly as unyielding as steel and his lips broke away from hers, face tight. Eyes guarded, he held her gaze as she slowly moved her hand across his back. Her fingertips found a rough raised ridge marring the otherwise smooth skin and he jerked, jaw clenched, and looked away.

Asha's brows furrowed, as her fingers spread out, finding and lightly tracing the ridges all over his back, from waist to shoulder and covering the width of his back. For a moment she was unsure what she'd discovered, only knowing from Daryl's response that they were significant. Then suddenly she realised what was beneath her fingertips.

_They're old scars. _

Merle's comment about their father and Daryl's face outside the shack they'd found in the woods suddenly fell into context. She closed her eyes for an instant, swallowing hard, heart breaking for the children the Dixon brothers had been.

Her hand stilled and Daryl looked back at her, eyes raking hers, searching for something. His eyes were dark in the half light, but Asha drank them in, heart swelling at the strength and fragility of the man in front of her. 'Wow,' she breathed, 'your father really was a cunt.'

She brought her hand around to the side of his face, running the pad of her thumb across his forehead and cheekbone, swallowing the tightness in her throat and cherishing the microscopic feel of his face relaxing into her palm as his eyes closed. Her breath caught as she savoured the fact that he hadn't pulled away as soon as she'd trailed a finger across his back. She slid her hand around the back of his neck and pulled his face down to hers, trapping his lips. Then she reached for the end of his shirt to pull it over his head.

Daryl tensed.

'You don't have to hide anything from me Daryl,' she said quietly.

'Don't want ya damn pity.'

'Good. My pity is reserved for people who bitch and moan about their circumstances but never try to change them or rise above them. Besides,' she slid her hand up his arm and inside the shoulder of his shirt, so that her fingertips reached the side of his neck. 'I have this image in my head of how this part of you looks,' she trapped her tongue between her teeth as she dragged her fingertips slowly along the muscles from his neck out to his shoulder, 'when I'm wrapped entirely around you and you're above me.'

Daryl's breath hissed in his throat and she found his eyes, blazing at her.

She could hear how husky her own voice was as she continued. 'And I want to see if the reality looks, and tastes, as good as it does in my head.'

She pulled her weight up, trailing her tongue along his neck before biting him gently through his shirt in the muscle above his collar bone.

She could feel him breathing raggedly, and then he growled, a sound of desperation and hunger that surged through her blood and left her gasping herself. Daryl tore himself away from her, reaching behind his shoulders and pulling his shirt over his head, breathing heavily.

Asha smirked, running her eyes appreciatively over the well defined muscles in his bare chest and broad shoulders, as she felt heat tug low in her abdomen in response. She hooked her ankles behind his lower back and pulled him towards her.

The sensation of his bare skin against her stomach, her breasts, had her skin covered in goosebumps. She trembled, writhing against him and moaning involuntarily.

'Christ woman,' his voice was rough in her ear, 'ya keep makin' those sounds and this is gonna be over faster than either of us want.'

He suddenly stopped, jaw rippling and eyes narrowed as he backed up.

'What?' Asha's senses were all blurry, but she was getting really sick of all this backing up that Daryl was doing.

'I...ah, ain't got any...ah...'

She looked at him blankly, trying to follow what he was saying, but really just feeling her body aching in the absence of the pressure of his body. Eventually his words sank in.

'Oh...right.' She collapsed back on the bedroll. She hadn't actually thought about that. Her whole body was thrumming with need. That just wasn't going to cut it, and from the way Daryl was breathing, he was right there with her. For a moment she was seriously tempted to tell him not to worry about it. After all, they could both be dead tomorrow.

_Yeah, or you could end up like Lori._

Damn it.

Then she suddenly pushed back to her elbows. 'Daryl, where are we?'

His brows furrowed. 'What?'

'Where are we?'

'Guard tower.'

'Right.' She rolled over and started searching through the blankets and miscellaneous belongings piled against the wall. 'And Glenn and Maggie have pretty much claimed this space right?'

'Yeah.'

'So don't tell me they didn't have a standing order with you to pick up condoms on supply runs, because I sure as hell know they did with me and Michonne. There's gotta be a box up here somewhere.'

She heard Daryl join the search behind her.

'Asha,' he said after a moment.

She glanced over her shoulder. He was holding up a square foil packet between two fingers, box discarded near his knee.

'Yeah?'

He nodded, eyes heating as they trailed across her in the half light. 'Yeah.'

She grinned, settling on her back on the bedroll and beckoning with her good hand for him to come back between her legs.

* * *

**[A/N: I know some of you have been waiting for this chapter for a while - so would love to hear your thoughts!]**


	33. Chapter 33

**[A/N: Hey dudes - apologies for the radio silence. Decided very last minute to go away camping and only got back to the comforts of civilization (ie electricity and phone reception) yesterday. **

**Thanks for the feedback on the last chapter! I was tossing up exactly where to finish that scene, and I did have a sneaking suspicion that ending it where i did, wouldn't totally satisfy all of you. On the one hand, I think the scene as written covers all the emotional and plot points needed for the story, and hopefully gave you enough of a feeling as to how things were panning out that you could fill in the gaps yourself. All that was really left was the smutty detail. On the other hand, that smutty detail can be pretty damn fun (although perhaps not everyone's cup of tea). However, I have written the rest of that scene, and I am thinking I may post it as a one shot. It still needs a final edit, but I reckon could get it up this week - if you're interested?]**

* * *

Some time later, Asha lay in the dark letting the cool air dry her sweat slick skin. Daryl was sprawled face first on the bedroll next to her, the heavy weight of his arm still draped across her bare chest. She wasn't sure if he was entirely asleep or not, but the hard lines at the sides of his mouth and between his brows had faded. She smiled faintly, taking in the dark hair falling across his face, but then her lips compressed into a thin line as her eyes fell on the layers of latticework beaten into his back―half concealed by the darkness but undeniably there.

No pity, but jeeze what type of monster did that, and to his own kids?

She ran her eyes over his back, tracing the broadness of his shoulders, the dark tattoo on his shoulder blade and the hard curve of the muscle shaping into his rib cage. After a moment, she didn't see the scars at all, and found she was biting her bottom lip as something pulled low in her stomach. For a moment, she thought of waking him, see if she could interest him another round. Then she rolled her eyes.

_God woman, it's been a long time between drinks but no need to guzzle him all at once. _

She shifted slightly, and Daryl's arm tightened. He mumbled something incoherent into the bedroll.

'One of us is actually supposed to be on watch,' she murmured softly, nudging his arm with a bit more force.

His eyes slit open, jerking his arm back when he realised where it was. 'I'll go.'

'Nah, I got it. Go back to sleep.'

She brushed the dark hair off his temple, noting his eyes had closed again already. She pulled her clothes on―silently thanking Maggie or Michonne for sending a clean change up with Daryl―then slipped out to the balcony, settling against the concrete wall and drawing her knees up to her chest.

The air was quiet and still, the outline of the woods as unmoving as a cardboard cut out against the moonlit sky. The only movement was the walkers along the fence, and even their motion seemed half hearted under the cover of night. The moon was bright, but not bright enough to make out details. She wrapped her arms around her knees and rested her chin on her forearms, not looking for details, but looking―as Daryl had taught her―for any movement that seemed out of place―anything that was quick when the air was still, straight where the walkers were unsteady and aimless.

Eventually she became aware of the tears leaking silently down her cheeks.

_Oh Nash._

She'd tapped a reservoir of grief inside her so deep she was sure it would never run dry. But she was angry at Nash too. How could he have been so stupid? She'd always been the one urging caution for them, he'd always been too ready to trust. And she felt guilty for feeling angry at him...guilty for not finding him before he'd crossed Seth's path.

She wrapped her arms tighter around her knees, the twinge of overstretched muscles in her hips and back suddenly filling her mind with an image from earlier that evening, of Daryl gripped between her thighs, breath ragged in her ear as he shuddered, his weight resting heavy and spent against her. The increasingly familiar pull in her stomach accompanied the image. She looked over her shoulder where she could just make out his dark form, and could picture in her mind again how relaxed his sleeping face looked. She felt a tug of warmth in her chest, and kept her eyes on him a moment longer, savouring the sensation of something other than grief and guilt and anger. Then she blinked a couple of times and turned back out to the darkness to keep watch.

The little flicker of warmth stayed present in her chest, and she held on to it like a lifeline as her eyes tracked across the woods and walkers.

* * *

Daryl woke up slowly.

His brain was blurry and for a minute he didn't remember how he'd got in that state. Then his half asleep mind provided him with an image of Asha―back arched, head tipped back and gasping as her nails dug into the small of his back.

He tried to stay asleep. If he was dreaming, it was a damn good dream.

Then he felt cool air shift across his back―his bare back.

He jerked awake.

Shit, that had actually happened.

It was still dark, the moon had shifted but he couldn't have been asleep more than a few hours. He didn't even remember falling asleep. They were good hours of sleep though, he could feel it in the relaxation and heavy weight of his own limbs. He doubted he'd moved the entire time. He rolled over and blinked a couple of times at the ceiling as his memory of their pre sleep activities came back.

He scrubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands, lips flattening into a thin line.

Stupid. How could he have been so stupid to let that happen? Not that he was regretting it―hell, he could feel his body stirring again at the montage of sound and sights his mind was playing back to him―and if Asha was still laying beside him, he'd already have a hand wrapped around her hip pulling her towards him.

But she wasn't beside him.

He still wasn't really sure how it had happened. He hadn't believed it when she'd said she wanted him, the words had stuck on the surface and refused to sink in. But he'd seen the hurt in her eyes when he hadn't responded and she'd turned away―and if his brain hadn't processed it, his body had, and he'd found himself on his feet, hand gripping her wrist, certain of nothing but that if he let her climb away down that ladder he'd be sorry about it for all of his days.

He rubbed his face.

She was going to regret this. She said she knew what she wanted, but he knew really it had been her grief talking. He couldn't face the hurt in her eyes, so now he was going to have the face the shame when she mumbled those words to him― 'this was a mistake'.

He shouldn't have listened to her.

Damn pussy.

He could just see Asha's bare feet where she sat outside with her back against the wall. He grimaced, sitting up and pulling on a shirt. No use putting it off.

He got up quietly and steeled himself before taking the few steps outside and folding himself down cross legged next to Asha. Her eyes were on the treeline. He watched her from the corner of his eye―noting with some satisfaction that her long braid was a mess from their earlier efforts, loose strands pale in the moon light.

He waited for her to glance at him, for her eyes to roll nervously away, looking for signs of discomfort as she worked herself up to tell him it had been a mistake. His lip twitched in a half snarl at the thought of hearing her say it.

Her knees were drawn into her chest, arms crossed loosely around them. She turned to him, resting her chin on her shoulder and gave him a small smile. 'Sleep well?' Her voice was soft, drifting gently to him in the still night air.

'Ya shoulda woken me already.'

Her smile widened. 'Nah. You were dead to the world. Looked like you needed it.'

'Mhhmmm.' He had.

'Ain't slept naked in a long time,' he muttered. Then cursed himself silently, he hadn't meant to say that.

Asha grinned, teeth gleaming in the moonlight. 'Sleeping naked was always my favourite way to sleep.' She glanced over her shoulder at the bedroll. 'I hadn't realised how much I was missing that

His brows furrowed. 'Sleeping naked?'

She nudged him with her shoulder. 'The bit before the sleeping idiot.'

'Hmmm.' He didn't trust himself to answer properly.

They were quiet for a moment. Daryl continued to discretely watch Asha as she turned to look back out over the yard. She didn't look uncomfortable, if anything she looked more relaxed then she had for a while. He frowned, maybe she wasn't regretting it? Maybe she just wasn't regretting it yet?

'You know,' she said wryly, keeping her eyes on the darkness. 'I haven't been laid since before the turn.'

'Weren't no one at your last camp?' He almost didn't want to know, but couldn't help himself asking.

'No.' She grimaced. 'There was this one guy who was...persistent and unwelcome. A real sleeze bag, I think he thought the end of the world had just improved his chances. Actually, it was worse than that. It felt like he thought everyone who was female and survived owed him something. Took a real liking to me, God knows why, I never encouraged him.' She shuddered. 'He used to follow me. I never knew where he was going to show up… made my skin crawl.'

Daryl's eyes narrowed, and he felt his jaw tighten.

She glanced at him and patted his arm. 'Nothing happened. The first time he tried to put a hand on me I broke his nose. Then when Nash got back from the run he was on at the time, he re broke it, along with half his face. Was knocked clean out for about an hour.' Asha's face darkened. 'But after that, he started following Ren. He would lurk around her, enough to make her uncomfortable, but not enough for anyone to think he was really a threat, but he would look at me with this smirk and this look in his eyes. Then he cornered me one day, leering at me as he warned me that Nash wouldn't be around forever, and that I couldn't keep an eye on Ren all the time.' She broke off, a muscle leaping in her throat as her jaw rippled.

Daryl waited quietly.

Her voice was flat. 'So that night, I crept into his room and woke him up with my knife against his throat, hard enough to draw blood, and promised him that the next time he went near Ren, I wouldn't just nick him.'

Daryl squinted, feeling anger ball in his stomach. 'That was stupid, ya coulda been hurt.'

She nodded. 'Nash was just outside the door, but we thought it would be better if he was scared of me, since Nash was away on runs a lot. But yeah, it was pretty damn stupid, but it had the effect we wanted, for a while anyway, and after that ...well, didn't matter.'

Her face was blank as she looked out into the dark, but her unbandaged hand was clenched in a fist.

'Sorry, shouldn't of asked.'

She trapped his eyes with hers. 'Don't be sorry,' she said quickly. 'You can ask me whatever you want. If today didn't send you running for the woods, I think you'll handle the rest of it.' She grimaced, looking away.

Her good hand was reflexively clenching and unclenching. Daryl watched hypnotised for a moment, before swallowing hard and reaching out and wrapping her long fingers in his hand, gently stopping their movement. Her fingers twitched in the confines of his palm.

She'd taken him by surprise earlier that day, but that was all. The husky sound of her voice explaining what she'd done to those men would stay with him forever. But when the surprise had worn off, he hadn't cared. So she had a bit of darkness, who didn't these days?

She looked at him, a shadow behind her eyes.

'Ain't none of us left got clean hands in this world Ash.'

Her hand jerked in his and her mouth twisted. 'Mine aren't just dirty Daryl. They're soaked to the elbows in blood.' She swallowed hard and looked away from him. 'And I don't see anything in the future other than them becoming bloodier.'

An image leapt to mind, of Asha blood drenched in the woods earlier that day. He ground his teeth together, shifting his grip to wrap her hand more securely in his.

She swallowed hard, and her voice was hoarse when she continued. 'I didn't know I had that in me before the turn. Now, what scares me most is that looking back, I wouldn't change it...I'm not proud of it, but in the same circumstances I would do the same thing to those men―worse if I could figure out how―and I would hamstring Seth and beat answers out of him.' Her head hung heavily on her neck. 'And i'll keep doing it. If there's reason enough, I'll keep doing it, and every time I do, little pieces of who I used to be are going to keep breaking away, until I'm completely lost.'

'Ya ain't lost Asha.'

She snorted and tugged her hand away. 'You know what Seth said? He said that killing people was easy, that it had always been easy and society had just been covering up. And do you know what I thought as soon as he said it? I thought, it's not easy, but it's not as hard as it should be.' She hugged her legs in tight to her body, burying her head in her knees and wrapping her good arm around her head. 'Who thinks like that?' Her words were muffled by her arm.

Daryl was silent for a long moment. 'People who live in the real world.'

'Nash didn't. Yeah he killed people when he had to, but I could tell it was harder for him than it was for me.'

He could feel the self loathing rolling of her words. Her arm was still wrapped around her head.

He chewed his bottom lip a moment, thinking.

'Ya ever hear about Randall?'' he asked eventually. 'About what happened at the farm?'

Her dark rimmed eyes peered at him from above the arm wrapped around her knees. 'I think I heard someone mention his name when Andrea was around. Something to do with Shane right?'

Daryl grunted. 'Ended up that way. At the start, he was with a group that attacked Rick and Hershel when they were on a run. He got injured, his people left him behind and Rick brought him back to the farm. He was barely more than a kid.' He looked down at his hands. For a moment he could feel Randall's face crunching beneath his knuckles again. 'I had to persuade him to tell us about his group, what he knew about ours.'

He could feel the pressure of her eyes on him.

'Why you?' she asked softly.

'Back then, it was harder for Rick than me. He couldn't do it, not with Carl. And Shane...Shane woulda just killed him.' He shrugged, looking out over the yard. 'I ain't proud of it...but I ain't exactly ashamed of it either. Was just what needed doing at the time.'

Asha was watching him, eyes unreadable in the dark, but her arm had loosened around her head.

'I ain't sayin' it's the same, but ya didn't kill those men for fun.' He chewed his bottom lip for a moment. 'And just cause ya can do something, that don't have t' be all ya are. It ain't everything.'

She smiled at him, the shadow suddenly receding behind her eyes and the tension fading from her face. She shifted closer to him, wrapping her arm around his and leaning into him.

'Thanks,' she murmured softly.

He grunted. After a moment his hand shifted of its own accord, and wrapped around the inside of her knee where it rested against him. They sat together in the darkness until Daryl felt Asha's head starting to slip against his shoulder.

'Asha.'

'Hmmm?'

'Go to bed. I got this now.'

* * *

**[A/N: BTW, backtracking to the season finale for a moment, if Glenn got out of being swarmed by all those walkers without being bit or scratched, I am going to be annoyed - not that i want anything to happen to Glenn, I rate Glenn, he's a great character. But you can't just put characters in situations like that with out there being consequences!]**


	34. Chapter 34

**[A/N: I swear I blinked and the whole last week disappeared. Big hello to the new followers and favourites, and huge thanks to reviewers. Also, for those of you who were waiting for it, that smutty little one shot is up now too ;-)]**

* * *

She was dreaming of the ocean, of huge swells pounding against a rocky headland. The water sucked and ebbed, never quiet even in the lulls, before crashing with renewed power against the unforgiving rock. Then she realised the ocean had voices, raised voices, filled with rage.

She woke up slowly, scrubbing her bleary eyes with the back of her hand.

'You find them and you bring 'em to me.' Tyrese's voice bounced off the walls of the prison, tearing up the ladder and echoing into the guard tower.

_What the hell?_

Daryl was gone. That, more than anything, jerked her into awareness.

She clambered awkwardly down the ladder into the morning sun, gripping with the forearm of her bad arm.

She blinked as her feet hit the ground. Daryl's arms were wrapped around Tyrese's neck, dragging the huge man back off Rick. Carol, arm outstretched, went to help Rick up, but he waved her off. A crowd from the cell blocks was starting to gather.

Rick got up slowly. Blood dribbled from his lip, and his face hardened as flicked it away fingertips. He snarled, and Asha's stomach clenched as he leapt swinging at Tyrese, still tied up by Daryl. His fist smashed into Tyrese's face―Daryl jerking back and quickly letting go―and then again as Tyrese slumped forwards. For a long moment there was nothing but the wet crack of bone against blood and flesh. Asha stared bewildered for a moment, seeing the shock reflected on the faces of the growing crowd.

'Rick,' Daryl's voice was gravelly, 'that's enough man.'

Rick's face jerked up, fist coiled above Tyrese. The heavy silence that followed was only broken by the Tyrese gurling though the bloody mess of his face. Rick's eyes, hard as flint, burned as they swung from Daryl, to Asha, to Tyrese and back again.

Asha flinched and grit her teeth. She hadn't seen Rick look like that in months.

'Enough,' Daryl said quietly. Rick blinked a couple of times, and the old him washed away as he looked around again and dropped his hand. Jaw clenched, he got to his feet and held out his non bloodied hand to Tyrese.

Tyrese ignored him, rolling painfully to his knees and spitting blood before pushing to his feet. He towered over Rick.

'You find them,' he said, voice thick, 'and you bring them to me.' Then he limped away in the direction of cell block A.

'What the hell happened?' Asha asked in a low voice, moving towards Rick and Daryl. Michonne pushed through the group from the other side, breath hissing through her teeth as she reached Rick. His shoulders were slumped, hands limp by his sides as he looked dejectedly at the ground, the blood from his lip and hand splattering slowly on the concrete.

'Karen and David are dead,' Carol said quietly, glancing around at the crowd.

Asha sighed. 'Shit, this sickness works quick.'

'Nah,' Daryl shook his head. 'Weren't that. Someone killed 'em.' Asha's head jerked up. Carol was watching the group, and Daryl's eyes slid away from her as he answered. 'Dragged 'em out and set fire to the bodies. Tyrese found 'em.'

Asha hissed through her teeth. 'Shit. There's a killer among us? There's gonna be a riot when people find out.'

'We can't let them panic,' Rick said tiredly. 'We just have to find who did it.'

He let Michonne gently lift his arm and look at his bloodied hand. 'You need Hershel,' she muttered.

'Listen,' Carol said softly, eyes still on the crowd.

There was silence for a moment, a heavy eerie silence and Asha felt the weight of a score of eyes on her as she scanned the crowd. There was a cough from somewhere off to the right, and then another from the other side of crowd. Then the cell door crashed open and Sasha pushed through it, body bent, and a sheen of sweat clear on her skin.

She slumped down the steps, a great tearing hack ripping from her chest that the crowd flinched back from.

'So much for keeping your distance,' Rick murmured, glancing at Asha and Daryl, and Asha's stomach sank as her eyes fixed on Daryl.

* * *

They gathered in one of the rooms off the prison library, the Council's unofficial meeting place. It wasn't so much a Council meeting as a gathering of some of the original prison group. Hershel, Carol, Daryl, Asha and Michonne faced each other in the small room.

It was barely a few hours past sunrise and Asha's was exhausted. Too many were sick. She was tense from searching the faces she knew for a sheen of sweat, a cough―and the frustration of not being able to do anything for those who were sick was taking a toll.

She leant against the far wall, Daryl only a foot away, but he might as well have been on the other side of the room. All she wanted to do was lean into him, and have the heavy weight of his arm draped around her, but he'd barely looked at her all morning, and whatever the thing was between them that had happened last night, it was far too fragile for her to push it.

She knew, just knew, that he wouldn't react well if she tried to touch him front of anyone else.

Hershel rubbed wearily at his face. 'We've moved all the sick into cell block A. About half of those from block B have come down with it, some of the kids, couple of people from cell block C.' His shoulders suddenly slumped.

_Glenn._

Asha heard his name as if Hershel has said it.

Maggie wasn't with them. She'd slipped away after Glenn had gone into cell block A, and Asha had seen her not long ago, metal rod in hand, as she vented her frustration on the dead massing against the fence line.

'Doctor S is in there treating them,' Carol said. 'And we've quarantined the children, with Beth and Carl, in the admin block.'

'Rick's looking for whoever killed Karen and David,' Michonne added. She looked around. 'So what's next?'

'How do we treat it?' Daryl asked.

Hershel lifted his head. 'We need medicine―antibiotics, anti inflammatories. Whatever this is, the infection is destroying the lung before people have a time to fight it off.'

'We've cleaned out every pharmacy for miles,' Daryl said.

'There's a place that might have been missed,' Hershel said. 'A veterinary college, maybe 50 miles or so away. The medicines for animals are the same medicines we need for our people, but it might have been missed in the first rush for drugs.'

'Worth a try,' Daryl said.

'Better than doing nothing,' Asha agreed.

Daryl's jaw twitched but he didn't even glance at her.

'I'll take you,' Hershel said.

Nah,' Daryl shook his head. 'No matter how it goes out there, sooner or later, we always gotta run.'

Hershel nodded. 'I'll draw you a map.'

'I'm in,' Michonne said.

'Me too,' Asha added.

'No.' Daryl said, only half turning his head so his words were directed at her feet.

'What?'

'Ain't taking ya with only one hand.'

Asha's lips pressed into a thin line. 'Merle only had one hand.'

'Ya ain't Merle.'

'You're not going without me,' she snapped, turning to face him properly.

He finally looked her, blue eyes flat. 'Ya ain't commin'.

'I am.'

'Don't Asha,' Carol said. 'A team's only as strong as its weakest member, you'll put em all in danger.'

Asha glared at her, lip curling as she swallowed hard. Damn it, but that didn't leave her anywhere to go. She looked back to Daryl, who at least met her eyes.

'Fine,' she growled, crossing her arms across her chest.

The tightness around Daryl's eyes relaxed imperceptibly before he looked away. 'Sooner we go, sooner we get back,' he growled, turning towards the door.

Asha grimaced as Carol followed after him.

* * *

An hour later, Asha was convinced he was avoiding her. She ground her teeth together, suppressing the slightly sick feeling in her stomach as she searched for him. Whatever was going on, she would be damned if he was going out on that run with things left the way the were between them. Her stomach fluttered. Maybe it was as simple as he was having second thoughts about last night? Part of her didn't want to know, but then she shook her head at herself. Deliberate blindness never helped anyone.

She eventually cornered him under the hood of the car they were taking to the vet college, checking the oil and fluid levels.

He glanced up as she leant on the edge of the car, his face unreadable, and he quickly went back to what he was doing.

Asha felt a spike of anger and hurt. Her eyes narrowed. 'How long do you think you'll be gone?'

He grunted. 'If we get a good run we could be back tonight.' He rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand, leaving behind a smudge of grease. 'And we need a good run.'

'You gonna say goodbye or were you just planning on disappearing?' she asked.

He stopped what he was doing and grimaced, hands tightening where he gripped the front of the car.

'What do you want Asha?'

Her stomach plummeted at the coldnes in his voice. Then she frowned. _Hell no._ He was going out today and this was not ending like this.

'I want you not to shut me out,' she snapped. 'You don't want me on the run? Fine.' She dropped her voice to whisper fiercely. 'Hell, you wanna pretend last night didn't happen? That's fine too' ―it wasn't―'but you were my friend before that, and you are not leaving here without telling me what the hell is going on.'

His knuckles were white where they gripped the front of the car.

'Ya know Zach died?' he said, looking at the ground.

Asha jerked, hand going to her mouth. 'No. When?'

'Run we went on two days ago. Walker got 'im.' Daryl grimaced, hands squeezing the car so tightly Asha was surprised the bumper didn't buckle. His voice twisted as her continued. 'I couldn't reach 'im. He was right there and I couldn't get 'im in time.'

He looked up at her and she could see the loss of every person who had been just out of reach.

A wave of sadness washed over her. Zach's sense of humour would be sorely missed. Then she felt sick to her stomach. Two days. She hadn't even noticed with everything else that had happened.

'God damn it,' she said softly.

'Ya can't come. I can't be worrying about ya when we're out there.'

She nodded miserably. 'Ok. I'm a liability at the moment. I get it.' She swallowed hard. 'But that doesn't explain why you've been cold to me all morning.'

Daryl looked out across the yard, and Asha waited as the silence dragged.

Eventually she steeled herself and asked. 'You regretting last night?'

His eyes flashed to hers and she held her breath until he answered. 'Nah. But ya a damn distraction woman. Ain't no way I'm forgetting 'bout last night―it's the only damn thing in my mind whenever ya near me. 'He looked at her, eyes heating―and Asha felt her blood starting to race until he jerked them away, shaking his head. 'Can't be doin' that, not with all this other shit happening.'

Asha breathed a little easier, relief suddenly swelling at the knowledge that he wasn't regretting whatever it was that was going on between them.

She stepped under the cover provided by the open bonnet, prying one of Daryl's hands from the front of the car so she could slide in close to him. She reached out her hand and cupped the side of his face, his stubble prickling against her fingers. His eyes were wary on hers, but he didn't move away.

'Can't have you distracted,' she murmured eyes flickering from the intense blue of his eyes to his lips and back. 'Least not until you get back.' Her eyes latched onto his and she swallowed her desperation to keep it out of her voice. 'And you need to come back.'

'Always do,' he grumbled, face twitching away a little.

She slid her hand down the side of his neck and then leant in pressing her lips to his. For an instant he was still, and then his lips pressed against her, forcing her lips open so that he could taste her, matching her own hunger. She gasped as his hands tightened against her hip and around her back, pulling her to him.

'I mean it,' she murmured. 'Otherwise I will be pissed as hell if I have to come find you.'

Daryl's eyes blazed. 'Don't ya fucking dare.'

'So come back,' she whispered, holding his face close to hers.

Part of her, the little girl part, desperately wanted to ask him to promise―but the cynical adult part of her warned a promise was worth nothing if it wasn't actually in his power to keep it. So she just searched his eyes, hoping to god he could feel how important it was that he came back.

He held her gaze, and nodded after a moment.

She bit her lip, nodding back, feeling a lump forming in her throat. She had to get out of there before she started crying again. 'Ok. I'll see you then.' She squeezed his arm gently and turned to go, but his hand lashed out and caught her around the wrist, fingers searing a ring of heat into her skin.

'Ya make sure ya here when I get back this time, and Asha...,' his eyes locked on to hers with an intensity that burned through her body. 'Don't be in cell block A.'

She nodded, and slipped out of the cover of the open hood and away from the car, blinking rapidly a couple of times.

Michonne was headed across the courtyard towards her, and she altered direction slightly to meet her friend.

'I'm calling in that damn hug,' she said.

Michonne smiled. 'Why not? guess we've all been exposed now.'

She wrapped her arms around Michonne's shoulders, and the pressure of her friend's arms gripping her back somehow loosened some of the tightness in her chest.

'You know i'll bring him back right?' Michonne murmured.

'Bring your damn self back too,' Asha said, stepping back and wiping angrily at her face with the back of her hand.

'Obviously.'

'I really hate that I'm not going with you.'

'I know, but you can't with that hand.' Michonne paused. 'Can you check in on Rick? I can't find him. Make sure Hershel looks at his hand? After this morning….' she trailed off, voice tight, and then tried to shrug dismissively.

Asha shot her an understanding look, and squeezed her arm.

'Of course. I'll keep an eye on him.'

Michonne nodded gratefully.

'Michonne,' Daryl roared from the vehicle. Asha glanced over her shoulder to see Tyrese and Bob―the rest of the small group going on the run―already waiting.

Asha sighed. 'Be careful.'

'Course,' Michonne said, swinging her pack back up.

Asha watched, heart in throat, good hand clenching and unclenching, as the car carrying her best friend and her... other best friend, roared out the gate without her. God she hated this.

She waited until the last of the dust had settled behind them, scowling at the walkers lining the fence, and then she went looking for Rick.


	35. Chapter 35

**[A/N: Hello strangers! Sorry for the unplanned hiatus and radio silence. I had a few unexpected distractions arise earlier in the year that cut into my writing time – new job (somewhat of a distraction), new puppy (super cute and a huge time waster), and it turns out my partner and I have a new baby on the way. This is pretty damn exciting, but holy hell I have spent a lot of time vomiting or wanting to vomit** – **and for a while there I needed to sleep for 12 hours at a time!**

**There is also a whole section of this story (coming up in a few chapters time) that I seriously struggled with. My first draft was complete crap (and it put a bit of a dent in my writing mojo), but I've managed to wrestle it into something that at least kind of works.**

**Thanks to all those who have favourited or followed, and especially those who have taken the time to leave a review. I'm hoping I haven't alienated too many of you with my complete lack of responsiveness! But I have plans of updating regularly again (now that I'm able to function like a human at least most of the time) - and have a good few chapters up my sleeve now that I've sorted out that above mentioned bit of crappy writing. Anyway, time to push on with the next chapter.]**

* * *

The air was thick, stale and the corridor was dark, even though she knew it was only mid-afternoon outside. She paused with the palm of her hand against the door to the small room in the bowels of the prison, reluctant to go into the room in which Lori had died.

God she hoped Rick wasn't in there, but the sinking feeling in her stomach– and the fact that she'd been looking for him for at least an hour and had checked just about everywhere else– told her to expect otherwise.

She paused, eyes closed and steeling herself, then pushed the door open.

Rick was slumped in shadow against the wall, head in hands with elbows on drawn up knees, staring at the dark stain on the concrete floor. Even after all these months it was still visible,

'Rick?' she asked softly. 'What are you doing down here?'

He looked up, and she was relieved to see that his eyes were sad, but calm, and missing the ice that had been there that morning.

He scratched at his beard. 'Just wondering where we went wrong.'

She sunk down against the wall opposite him. 'Went wrong? I don't think we can blame anyone for people getting sick. People have gotten sick for as long as people have been around.'

'Yeah... That's not what I meant.'

'Karen and David?'

He nodded. 'Karen and David.' There was a heavy pause. 'You know it was Carol right?'

Asha drew in a long breath, letting it out very slowly. 'Yeah.'

Carol had been too calm about it all. Asha could clearly remember the tone of her voice when she'd suggested Andrea kill the Governor, and her focus last night on acting for the good of the group. The only other person Asha thought was capable of making such a decision and following through on it was Rick– the old Rick, the one who'd reappeared that morning in the encounter with Tyrese. She looked carefully at the man in front of her, wondering if he was more old Rick or farmer Rick.

He just looked tired.

'You know she did it to protect the people here right?' Rick said.

'Yes.'

'But you know it's not ok right?'

Asha swiped her good hand down the side of her mouth. This should be simple. She should know it wasn't ok. She shouldn't be able to rationalise it. 'Would you be saying that if it had worked?'

Rick shuddered. 'God I'd like to think so. I just keep thinking, it could have been Carl, Judith, that was sick. If she saw them as a threat…'

Asha sighed heavily. 'Reckon anyone else has figured it out?'

He snorted. 'No. They're all a bit distracted with so many people sick now, and I don't think anyone else is willing to see this yet.' His head tipped forward into his hands. 'I just can't get past the thought, what if it was Carl, or me or you, or Michonne. Hell, maybe even Daryl. I mean, I'm trying to think where she might have drawn the line and the only thing I'm thinking is maybe, if it was Daryl, maybe she wouldn't have been able to go through with it.'

'Surely if it was one of the kids that was sick, she wouldn't have been able to. She genuinely cares Rick, you know she does.'

Rick spoke to the ground, head still resting in his hands. 'You know she's been teaching the children how to use weapons? That's what "storytime" is, knife lessons with Carol. Their parents don't know. Carl only told me about it the other day.'

Asha shrugged. 'Seems pretty practical actually, and after what happened to Sophia can you really blame her?'

Rick's brows shot up.

'Don't look to me for parental outrage Rick, there's a reason I don't have kids.'

Rick shook his head. 'You know it's not ok,' he repeated after a minute.

They weren't talking about the knife lessons anymore.

Asha sighed. 'No, it's not.' She rubbed tiredly at her temples. 'So, when are you gonna tell the Council?'

Rick gave her a steady look. 'They're not exactly functioning at the moment.'

'That's only temporary.'

Rick shrugged briefly. He continued to watch her quietly and she felt a faint quiver in her belly. 'The line between what is and isn't ok anymore just keeps getting blurrier,' she said eventually, 'but I think taking it upon yourself to get rid of one of our own should stay firmly on the wrong side of that line. It was wrong before, when you tried to give up Michonne, it's wrong now...and it'll still be wrong if you take on yourself to do something about Carol.'

She wished he'd flinched, or looked shocked– something to suggest he hadn't already been thinking along those lines. He just looked down at his hands.

'Yeah,' he said slowly. 'I'm not going to hurt her, but she can't stay here. I can't– I won't– have her near Carl and Judith.'

Asha chewed her lip a little uneasily. The problem was, she could equally rationalise what Carol had done and what Rick was suggesting.

'I'll take her out on a run in the morning,' Rick continued. 'There are still some suburban areas no too far out that we haven't fully picked over yet, might be able to pick up some medicines that'll help us hold out til Michonne and Daryl get back. I'll take some supplies, set her up with a car that works, and send her away.' He scratched at his beard. 'She can't be here when Tyrese finds out, he'll kill her.'

'No,' Asha said softly. 'Not if we don't let him...and I don't think he'll do that anyway.'

'Why not?''

Her mouth twisted. 'He's not us. He's angry, but you know it's not in him.' Tyrese's anger would burn bright and burn out, and then he'd be able to move on.

Rick pursed his lips in a non committal way.

She sighed and tipped her head back to rest against the wall. 'Why are you telling me all this?'

'I guess I'm trying not to do this on my own, and you've never been afraid to tell me what you really think.'

Her eyes narrowed. 'You sure it's not because this time you think I'm gonna tell you want you want to hear? You know Carol and I haven't been getting along that well lately.'

He leant forward. 'She's dangerous. If she's capable of doing this, what else will she do? What if she decides one of us is a threat?'

Asha snorted, for all she knew Carol already had decided she was a threat. She scrubbed her hand through her hand. 'I don't want any part of this Rick. You're not sending her away because of what she did. You're sending her away because of what she might do. Why are you so unwilling to hand this over to the Council. Don't you think they've got it in them to kick her out?' To be honest she wasn't entirely sure about that herself.

Rick rolled his shoulders. 'It'll be easier for them to accept if it's already done.'

There was a sour heavy feeling in her stomach. 'Just because you're capable of making a decision Rick, doesn't mean you should.'

'Sometimes you've gotta do what's going to keep people safe, even when they don't want you to do it.'

'I'm sure that was what Carol was thinking too.'

They stared at each other in heavy silence.

'Even making no decision's a decision,' Rick said eventually.

'Don't.' Asha snapped. 'I don't want that fucking responsibility. Hell, the reason you're not on the Council is because _you_ don't want it either. It near broke you last time. I'm sorry, but it's true.' She noticed she was clenching and unclenching her good hand into a fist, palm clammy with sweat, and she growled angrily before tucking it under her leg to stop it moving.

'So you're not going to back me on this?'

'Jesus, Rick, I don't know what the right thing to do about Carol is. Hell, at this point I don't even know how I'd vote, if I had a vote, and I had to pick whether she stayed or went.'

'I thought you agreed it wasn't ok?'

'Yeah. That's not because I can't understand what she did Rick. It's not because I can't rationalise it.' She rubbed wearily at her temple. She could feel one hell of a headache coming on and she suddenly wished it was still the night before and she was stretched out beside Daryl in the guard tower. 'My gut doesn't tell me what's right and wrong anymore. It tells me what I can and can't do, but that's not the same thing.'

She stared at Rick, wondering if anything she was saying was making a dent.

Rick stared back.

Eventually she sighed. 'You'll do what you think is best Rick, I know that.' Sadly, the thought didn't give her much comfort. 'But if you do this, you're just as wrong as Carol– and for the same damn reason– you're making the call without involving the rest of the group. How are you going to explain this to everyone?'

'I will.'

Asha closed her eyes. 'How are you going to explain it to Daryl?'

'I will.'

'Just...at least give her the chance to talk you out of it tomorrow.'

He nodded slowly, 'Ok.'

But Asha could see he'd made up his mind and Carol would have to perform a miracle to change it. Still, she sighed resignedly and nodded. It was the best she was going to get.

She closed her eyes again, tipping her head back and raking her good hand through her hair. Her mind immediately drifted back to Daryl, God knew where on the way to a veterinary college which may or may not have what they needed. At least Michonne was there watching his back– whilst she was here keeping an eye on Rick.

She narrowed her eyes at the bearded man sitting across from her, his head hanging again and eyes fixed once more on the black stain.

'We're friends right Rick?' she asked. 'Despite the way we started, we're friends now right?'

'Of course.'

'Good. Try to hold on to that feeling for a minute, 'cause you're not going to like this.'

'Less than the conversation we just had?'

'Probably. Why are we here Rick, in this room I mean?'

His eyes flattened. 'You know why.'

'I know what happened here,' she said carefully, 'but that's not what I meant. Why do you keep coming down here?'

'Well I don't have a grave to visit,' he hissed angrily.

Asha twitched. She hadn't thought of that. There was a cross in the line of graves for Lori, but she wasn't buried there.

Mind you, she wasn't in this room anymore either.

'Why do you keep visiting Merle?' Rick bit back.

'He was my friend. I miss him.'

'Yeah well…' He waved vaguely around the room.

'This is different. This room, you're not visiting Lori, you're wallowing in your guilt.'

'You don't know what you're talking about,' he said bitterly.

'I know she died with a lot of things left unsaid between you. I know that even though her death was in no way your fault-'

Rick's shoulders jerked.

'It wasn't Rick, it's childbirth, shit happens. I know you're carrying guilt around about never fixing your relationship before she died. But it's been long enough. This doesn't help you, and it doesn't make any difference to Lori anymore…But it makes a difference to the people who are still around you. You need to let it go.'

Rick watched her sullenly. 'If you hadn't started this by reminding me that we're friends, I wouldn't be listening to this shit.'

Asha sighed. 'None of us have the life expectancy we used to. I don't want to see you add more guilt to this when more people around you go with things left unsaid.'

Michonne would kick her ass if she said anything more obvious than that.

Rick stared at her blankly.

Asha figured she'd pushed her friendship with Rick about as far as it would go for now. She got up and held out her good hand. 'Now get up. Self pity isn't your style and Hershel needs to look at that hand.'

Rick looked at her hand as though he wasn't sure what it was before eventually taking it. Asha grunted as she pulled him up.

He paused for a second after she let him go, then gripped her shoulder firmly. 'I'm sorry about your brother.'

Her throat and chest were suddenly in a vice. 'Yeah.'

'You say everything you wanted to there?

Asha snorted. 'Course not, no-one ever does, but I said enough.' She took a deep breath and then another, feeling a little tension in her chest loosen.

She _had_ said enough. She had a thirty year bond with her brother that may have shaken occasionally, but it had never fallen. All the conversations she'd been having with him in her head– whilst he was missing and since Seth and the woods – all the things she thought she'd say to him when she saw him again, they were all repetition. Sure there was a bit of fine tuning, maybe a restatement of something she hadn't perfectly enunciated in the past, but at the base of it, it was all repetition.

She gripped Rick's hand on her shoulder. 'I did. I said enough.'

Ren, of course, was a different issue.

'Then you're lucky,' Rick said.

'Wasn't luck that we said those things to each other Rick. We made that happen– usually with a bit of helpful intervention by beer if I'm being totally honest. Reckon you should do something about it with the people you still can.'

Rick grunted. 'Yeah well, we've been outta beer for a while now.'

'Guess you'll just have to be braver than I was then.'

* * *

**[A/N: Sorry it's only a short one. Hope you're all enjoying season 6!]**


	36. Chapter 36

**[A/N: Hello new followers and favouriters! Thanks as always to reviewers - glad you guys have stuck with me. You rock!]**

* * *

Asha split her stance, hefted the crowbar – grateful for the umpteenth time that day that she'd injured her left hand rather than her right – and drove the end of it through the broken toothed face pressed hard against the chain link fence. The walker slumped to the ground as she yanked the bar back, its place quickly taken by one of the dozens of dead swarming behind it.

Heft, jab, pull. repeat. Heft, jab, pull, repeat.

She lost herself in the monotony of the action.

The walkers seethed in a never ending mass against the fence, groans filling the air. Asha's gaze tracked across them, automatically searching for her brother's height and build. She snapped her eyes shut, biting hard on the inside of her cheek, tasting blood.

_Stop it. That's no use to anyone._

Heft, jab, pull, repeat. Heft, jab, pull, repeat.

She rolled her shoulder to loosen up the building ache.

Heft, jab, pull, repeat.

The constant weight of the dead dragged at the chain link and it sagged and bowed. It was as vital a demarcation between safety and danger – between life and death – as it had ever been, but it was one that was increasingly flimsy.

How was Carol going to cope on her own out there?

What was she going to do about Rick's plan?

Asha grimaced. She'd thought about telling someone else about his plan, but Hershel had gone into cell block A to treat the sick – over Maggie's tearful and strenuous objections – which really only left Carol and Maggie. Carol was out for obvious reasons, there was just no knowing how the woman would react.

Asha looked down the fence to where Maggie was thinning the dead with her own metal pole, stiff faced and blank eyed, hard lines gouged at the corners of her lips. With Glenn and Hershel in cell block A she was already at breaking point. Asha couldn't pile Rick and Carol on top of that.

What she really wanted was to tell Daryl and Michonne about it. She ground her teeth together, trying to force the tightness in her chest to loosen. It was only just getting dark. They weren't even late back yet.

Heft, jab, pull, repeat.

'Here,' Maggie suddenly screamed, running away from Asha to a section of the fence that was doubling in under the weight of the dead. The log bracing the fence pole started to slip. Stomach dropping, Asha sprinted after Maggie.

'The log!' Maggie's voice was panicked. The wood slipped another inch and the outer fence bowed in, the razor wire coils dipping dangerously close to the inner fence. Asha launched herself at the log, wrapping her arms around it, feet scrabbling in the gravel as she struggled to hold it in place. Maggie's arm was a blur as she drove the metal rod into the dead in a desperate attempt to thin them.

Asha's feet slipped backwards.

'This isn't working Maggie!'

'I know!'

Asha glanced desperately up the dog run. They were going to have to run for it – but if the outer fence came down, the inner fence was going too, and those things would be into the yard.

What else could they do?

She swore, heart in mouth, and braced herself harder against the log.

'Maggie, get down.' Rick's voice ripped through the air.

For a moment Maggie continued stabbing desperately at the dead, then she dropped to the gravel, adding her weight to Asha's against the log. The air above them was immediately shredded by bullets. Asha's eyes jerked to the yard to see Rick and Carl, rifles shouldered and firing into the dead, before she turned her face away from the chunks of walker raining under the barrage of bullets.

After a long minute of gunfire, the pressure on the log eased, and then a moment later the bullets ceased, leaving behind a heavy silence. Panting as though she'd run a marathon, Asha shared a look with Maggie. Her friend was wide eyed with flecks of flesh and blood dripping through her hair. Together they wedged the log more firmly against the fence pole, as Rick and Carl started dragging another log from the yard into the dog run to help reinforce the weak part of the fence.

Chest heaving, Asha wiped her good hand across her shoulder and flicked away the chunks of blood. 'That was too damn close.'

Maggie nodded. 'We need better fences.'

'Yeah, they're called walls,' Asha said dryly.

Then her eyes narrowed as she examined the fences. They did need walls, and why shouldn't they have some? Woodbury had managed it, made of trucks and busses mostly, with metal sheeting built around it.

She walked back a few paces to get a better view of the sagging fences. They would want to build the wall inside the dog run, up against the outer fence so that it held it up. Walkers weren't climbers of course, but the added height of the chain link fence would work against any living attackers – they'd be easy pickings if they tried to climb over it.

Asha didn't even hesitate over the cold blooded thought.

Of course, there was currently no vehicle access to the dog run, the only access being through the concrete towers at corners and the ends. She grimaced, the state some of the outer fences were in it would almost be worth taking some of them down and then rebuilding them. She shook her head slightly to herself, better to keep the fences up if they could.

She looked more closely at the internal fence. They'd only have to take down a section of it to get vehicles into the dog run. They'd probably have to cut the chain link to do it, but – provided they could raid enough suitable material from a hardware store - it shouldn't be too hard to come up with some way of patching it or braiding it back together with wire.

It would be better than what they currently had.

She chewed her lip as she thought about it. Possible, it was definitely possible. Woodbury was burnt out, but Asha was sure at least some sections of the walls had survived and could be scavenged. If not, there were plenty of abandoned trucks on the road.

Maggie was watching her look upwards at the inner fence as Rick and Carl finished with the extra log.

'What are you thinking?' she asked.

'Walls,' Asha said with a small smile, and then explained her plan.

Rick scratched his beard as she finished. 'Well, we definitely need them,' he said tiredly. He looked around at the fences before nodding. 'I think it could work.'

'We'll make it work,' Maggie said firmly, with a small but determined smile at Asha. 'If only you'd been here to think of it months ago.'

Asha flinched.

_If only she hadn't been off chasing her dead brother's shadow._

'Oh Asha,' Maggie said, eyes widening and stretching a hand towards her, 'I didn't mean to it like that.'

Asha closed her eyes and shook her head, gritting her teeth against the bitterness rolling in her stomach.

'I know,' she said, voice thick. She forced her eyes open, blinking quickly a couple of times. 'It's ok.'

Maggie nodded, her shoulders slumped and the defeated lines back at the corners of her mouth.

'Let's go back, Rick said. 'I think we've cleared the dead enough for the fences to last the night. I'll take first watch whilst you two get cleaned up.'

Asha rubbed at her face, nodding, her injured hand suddenly throbbing as though it might explode. She realised as they started back to the cell blocks that her posture matched Maggie's dejected slump.

She paused, fingers twisting in the chain link fence as she looked out at the empty road and black trees in the fading light. Nash had been strong, but even he hadn't managed to survive out there alone.

_Why aren't they back yet?_

Rick stopped beside her, and she felt his hand on her shoulder. 'Come on,' he said softly. 'It was always unlikely that they were going to make it back tonight.'

Asha nodded jerkily, but her fingers tightened on the fence as she struggled to breathe.

_Where is he?_

* * *

Daryl turned the piece of jasper over and over in his hands, the roughness scratching against his fingertips. Beneath him the tyres of the van they'd hotwired after running the first vehicle into a horde of walkers hummed across the tarmac as the midday sun beat down outside. He spared a glance a Michonne, grim faced behind the steering wheel. She had her foot down.

It wasn't fast enough.

Although he displayed no particular outward signs of it, he seethed with impatience to get back to the prison.

How many of their people were dying whilst they hauled ass across the state?

What if Asha was sick, dying, whilst Michonne tried to coax more speed out of the damn beaten up van?

Not Asha. She hadn't been any more exposed than he had been and he wasn't sick. He grimaced. Even he knew it didn't really work that way.

He glanced at the back seat where the precious bags of medicine and equipment sat between Tyrese and Bob, lips flattening as he looked at Bob, blank faced and staring out the window. Bastard was lucky he hadn't tossed him off the walkway into the dead. It was what the damn idiot deserved. At least he hadn't tried to touch the bottle of booze he'd scavenged. Daryl's lips twisted in disgust and he looked back out the windscreen.

They were only a few miles from the prison. Without there being any one particular landmark, a sense of familiarity at the woods and road resonated through him. He was used to the feeling now, it had been happening every time he'd come back from a run for a while. But it was a feeling he hadn't had for a long time before that, not since the tiny town he'd grown up in.

Home.

He flicked the jasper over in his fingers, clenching his fist around it and squinting through the windscreen in anticipation of the prison coming into view.

When it did, his stomach sank. It was too still, too quiet. A few lonely dead pressed against the fence, but around to the right from the gate, a bloodied and rotten heap of corpses were massed against the chain link - barely upright and heavily braced by logs.

Nothing moved in the prison except the long grass rippling lazily in the breeze. There was no one in the courtyard, and no sign of anyone on watch in the guard tower.

Daryl sat forward in his seat as the distance to the fence closed. He tried not to think about what it meant that they couldn't spare anyone to keep watch to open the gate for them.

The pulled to a stop in front of the gate, which stayed obstinately shut.

Sharing a tense glance with Michonne, he kicked the car door open and got out.

For a moment only the undulating grass moved, then there was a sudden flash of ginger fur and the cat streaked away from the gate in the direction of the courtyard. Daryl watched the feline for an instant, then exhaled heavily as Asha unfolded from where she'd been hidden in the grass, semi automatic cradled somewhat awkwardly across the forearm of her injured hand. She scanned them all quickly before her eyes latched on Daryl, and he felt a jolt at the intensity in her eyes.

'I didn't recognise the car,' she called, voice flooded with relief.

She started immediately for the gate, dropping the rifle and working the pulley system awkwardly with her one good hand. The heavy gates inched open.

'Go,' Michonne said to him, climbing back in the van. 'We got this.'

Daryl nodded, shouldering through the gates as soon as they edged wide enough to squeeze through and taking over the pulley system from Asha.

The van roared through, continuing straight on to the courtyard.

'Who put you on gate duty?' Daryl grunted as he pulled the gates closed.

Asha gave a half snort. 'We're a little light on people at the moment.'

'More people get sick?'

'Nah. Hershel went in there to treat them. There was some gun shots earlier.'

His head jerked up sharply and she put a hand on his arm.

'Maggie's in there now,' she continued. 'It's under control, but…' She was looking up at the prison walls and her nails were digging into his arm. 'I've been waiting to hear more gunshots all morning. Rick and Carol are out on a run, raiding one of the suburban areas for meds too. We...we didn't know how long it would be before you got back.' Her eyes were desperate when she looked back at him. 'Please tell me you got what we needed.'

He nodded. 'Got everything. Michonne and the others will be takin' care of it now.'

Her lips trembled into a relieved smile. 'And you're all ok?'

He felt a muscle twitch in his throat at the thought of what Bob's stupidity could have cost them, but he nodded anyway.

They stared at each other in silence. Her eyes flickering anxiously all over his face. He was distracted for an instant by the green of her eyes - the same shifting green of the sunlight through the leaves in the woods - then he realised how bloodshot they were, and how the black circles seemed gouged into the pale skin beneath them.

She suddenly wrapped her good hand in the front of his shirt and leant in, resting her forehead against his shoulder.

'I'm so glad you're back,' she mumbled.

Something surged in his chest, but still he hesitated a second before cupping his hand around the back of her elbow.

_Ya ain't been outta my thoughts._

Instead of saying anything, he just mumbled incoherently instead. 'Hmmm.'

He could feel her shaking and suddenly realised the exhaustion with which she was leaning into him.

Stomach suddenly contracting, he slipped a hand under her chin to lift her face, pressing his other hand to her forehead. She felt warm, but not too warm - at least he didn't think she felt too warm. ''Ya ok? Ya ain't feelin' sick or nothin'?'

'You told me not to get sick remember,' she said with a weary smile. 'Don't be in cell block A?'

'Yeah but ya ain't never listened to me before.'

'I'm fine Daryl, just tired, been running pretty light on sleep is all.' She blinked those bloodshot green eyes a couple of times. 'You too I'm guessing?'

He grunted, letting her head fall back to his shoulder as he scrubbed tiredly at his eyes with the heel of his hand. Truth be told, all he wanted to do was crawl into his cell and sleep for a week, but he could also feel his shoulder tingling where Asha's weight pressed into him, and he thought it might physically hurt if she moved away. He took a deep breath - _ain't no one around t' see ya damn it_ \- and then pressed his hand against the small of her back, pulling her into him so her body pressed against the length of his.

She made a low, thick sound of satisfaction in the back of her throat as she shifted slightly, face turned in so he could feel her breath on his neck. He tightened his arms around her, breathing easily for the first time since he'd left the prison.

'Ya need to go sleep,' he forced himself to say after a minute.

She leant back, a shadow of something passing across her face. 'I've gotta wait for Rick and Carol.'

'I got it.'

She shook her head, face tightening and shoulders stiffening as she stepped back. 'Nah. But you can wait with me?'

He nodded, eyes narrowed at her.

'Good.' She looked away and scraped a hand through her hair. 'There's something I need to tell you about Carol...and Rick'

* * *

**[A/N: Hope you liked it! Sorry they're not super long updates at the moment, but I'm going to keep trying for regularity at least!]**


	37. Chapter 37

**[A/N: Welcome new favourites and followers and big thanks to reviewers! Really makes my day to hear what you think. Tonbea, glad you thought Seth was convincingly crazy! He was really fun to write and i am a bit proud of how he turned out.]**

* * *

Daryl started pacing as she spoke.

'And you just let them leave,' he hissed when she finished.

Asha's back stiffened, voice rising in response. 'What was I supposed to do? Tackle Rick to the ground? I was hoping he'd change his mind, let the Council handle it.' She pinched the bridge of her nose. 'Still am actually. Still hoping he brings her back and the group can decide.'

Daryl kept pacing, biceps rippling as he tossed his crossbow angrily from one hand to the other.

She slumped back against the concrete wall of the gate tower, sinking to the ground, watching him pace. It hurt to see him so angry, even though she knew it wasn't really at her. She tried hard to fight the bite of jealousy at his obvious concern about Carol.

'What are you going to do,' she forced herself to ask. 'If Rick comes back alone?'

He snarled at her, boots scraping in the gravel. 'It ain't her.'

Asha sighed. 'I never told you this, or Rick. But when Andrea came to visit that time, back when everything was happening with the Governor, I overheard Carol talking to Andrea, giving her some advice.' She waited until Daryl was looking at her before continuing, keeping her voice toneless and unemotional. 'She told Andrea that she should sleep with the Governor, wait until he was asleep and then kill him.'

Daryl squinted at her, feet suddenly still.

'You know she's capable of doing it Daryl, if she thought it was protecting the group.'

He growled at her and went back to pacing. 'Ya reckon Rick's right?' he asked after a minute, brow furrowed deeply. 'To send her away?'

Asha could see how much the words cost him.

She crossed her arms over her knees and rested her head on them for a moment. 'He's wrong to make the call himself, but...' She swallowed hard and looked up at Daryl. 'I don't know Daryl. I get why she did it. If there was a way of being certain it would work, then hell...' Her mouth twisted in distaste and she trailed off rather than finish the sentence. 'But if we don't draw the line at killing our own, then where do we draw it? And that line matters Daryl, it matters more now than ever, when there are no other rules and there are people...'

_People like Carol, and Rick and me…_

'We need to know where that line is,' she finished sadly.

Daryl's was watching her intently and she closed her eyes so she didn't need to see the look in his.

He started pacing again and for a long time she listened to the crunch of gravel. Eventually he sat down next to her and they waited in silence for Rick to come back.

* * *

As soon as the gate was wide enough to admit the Hyundai, Asha took the weight of the pulley system from Daryl and he charged over to the vehicle. Asha's heart sank as he slammed his palm on the car roof, snarling.

Carol wasn't there.

She sighed, not surprised and not entirely sure how she felt about Carol being gone. Fatigue flooded her body. Whether or not she agreed with it, the decision was made, and without the anxiety of waiting for Rick's return, she barely had the energy to stand.

Rick opened the car door and stepped out into the late afternoon sun, glancing at Daryl pacing angrily beside the vehicle.

'You told him?' Rick accused Asha, as she worked the pulley to close the gate.

She was too tired to even bristle, she just nodded.

Rick scrubbed his hand across his forehead. 'Wish you'd let me do it.'

'I couldn't hide it from him Rick.'

They locked eyes and Rick nodded shortly in acceptance.

'Ya couldn't wait till I got back?' Daryl hurled at them from the other side of the car.

'What, till Tyrese got back?' Rick spat back.

'I coulda handled that.'

'She killed two of our own,' Rick said quietly. 'She admitted it.'

Daryl gave him a flat look.

Asha sighed. She'd hadn't had any doubts that Carol had done it, but there was no avoiding it now.

'She's gonna be alright,' Rick continued. 'I set her up with a car, fuel, supplies. She's a survivor. She's gonna make it.'

'Stop sayin' that like ya don't believe it,' Daryl snarled.

The two men glared at each other.

'She couldn't be here,' Rick eventually ground out between clenched teeth. 'I spoke to her Asha, like you wanted. She admitted it. Said she did it for us, to protect us. That's how it was in her head. She wasn't sorry.'

There was long moment of silence.

'What if she decided someone else was a threat?' Rick said. 'Me? You? Asha...Carl? She'd do it again.'

Asha winced and closed her eyes. The crunch of gravel stopped beneath Daryl's boots.

'Well it's fucking done now ain't it?' he growled.

'Unless she comes back,' Asha said softly. She hadn't realised she'd spoken aloud until she opened her eyes to see both Rick and Daryl staring at her.

'Ya reckon she will?' Daryl asked.

Asha shrugged, trying to focus through the exhausted fog settling in her brain. 'Maybe. Depends on whether or not she thinks Rick was speaking for the group I guess. If it were me, and I'd been kicked out for something I thought I was right to do, once the shock had worn off, yeah, I think maybe I would come back and demand the whole Council hear me out.'

'You didn't think to mention this earlier?' Rick said sourly.

'Only really thought about it today. Spent a lot of time waiting for people to come home today, lots of time to think.'

Rick sighed heavily. 'Well, if she does, then I guess we'll deal with it then.' Rick turned back to Daryl. 'I take it you got what we needed from the vet college, otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation?'

Daryl grunted and as he filled Rick in on the run, Asha pulled open the rear car door and collapsed onto the backseat, closing her eyes, listening to the sound of Daryl's voice without really taking in his words.

A moment later there was pressure behind her back and on her shoulder, and she jolted frantically awake, arms flailing in a disorientated mess. Daryl jerked back above her, bumping his head against the car roof and quickly snagging a hand around the wrist of her injured hand to stop her hitting anything.

The car was in the courtyard, light fading quickly. Daryl held her wrist, looking down at her with a bemused expression. 'Rick's checking on cell block A, then taking first watch. You are going to bed.'

She knew she should care about who was taking watch after Rick, but all she could focus on was the word bed. 'Oh god,' she groaned. 'Bed, please. Yes.'

Daryl backed out of the open door and she forced her tired muscles to move long enough to get out of the car – Daryl quickly wrapping a hand under her arm as she swayed on her feet. 'Jesus Asha, ya about to fall over.'

'Mhhmmm,' she mumbled incoherently, eyes half closed as they climbed the steps to the cell block door.

Even in her sleep deprived state, she felt the difference as soon as the door creaked open. It was cold, quiet, still – like a mausoleum. Without saying a word they both stopped, looking around.

'Shit,' Daryl muttered. 'Guess the rest of them are still in cell block A, or quarantine in the admin block.'

Asha nodded at him, shivering slightly in the eerie quiet.

Daryl kept his hand under her arm as they went up the stairs to her cell.

Asha brushed the sheet she'd hung in the doorway for privacy out of the way, and then they paused, looking at the ball of orange fur curled up in the middle of the pillow on the bottom bunk.

'Damn cat likes you,' Daryl muttered.

Asha pushed gently out of Daryl's grip and picked up the little animal, smiling and snuggling him up to her face as his golden eyes slit open and he started up his broken purr. 'Yeah, I like him too...even though he insists on sleeping on my damn pillow.'

Daryl shrugged, half smile tugging at his lips. 'Cat,' he said, by way of explanation.

She laughed softly. 'You know the kids named him Crookshanks?'

Daryl raised a brow. 'What sort of stupid name for a cat is that?'

Asha shrugged, 'I think it's from Harry Potter.'

Daryl looked at her blankly

'It's a book. Never mind. He seems to like the kids, Carl and Mika anyway. He goes mental if Lizzie goes near him.

'Yeah well, cat's are neurotic by definition right?' He took the purring creature out of her hands and settled him on the top bunk, then nodded towards the bottom bunk.

Asha groaned in relief as she crawled onto the mattress, and then flipped on her side to see Daryl leaning against the cell wall. Her eyes trailed over the definition in his shoulders and biceps where they were crossed over his chest, and she felt a sudden pull, low in her abdomen.

She blinked a couple of times, amazed at her own body. She really was too damn tired for that.

She patted the bed next to her, and tried not to read too much into the sudden wariness that closed over Daryl's face.

'Just for a minute,' she pleaded. 'This place is creepy with no-one else here, and…' She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. 'It hurt whilst you were gone,' she whispered. Her eyes were still closed when she felt his weight settle on the bunk next to her.

'Yeah,' he mumbled reluctantly. 'Damn well hurts when you're gone too.'

He laid down on his back, and she wrapped her arm across his chest, nestling her head into his shoulder.

'Don't go anywhere' she said.

He was silent.

'At least until I fall asleep,' she added.

'Mhhhm.'

'Daryl,' she murmured sleepily after a moment. 'Don't get any ideas about going after Carol on your own.'

She slit one eye open and watched him intently examining the underneath of the top bunk, a deep crease between his brows.

'I mean it,' she said softly. 'If that's what you want to do I'll back you all the way to the Council, but don't go out there without me or Michonne.' She hesitated a moment and swallowed hard before adding. 'If she comes back, the Council will still have to decide if she can stay or not.'

Daryl would have to vote, and his voice carried a lot of weight these days.

The crease between his brows deepened and the lines at the corner of his mouth hardened as he stared unblinking at the top bunk.

Asha was sorry to bring it up, and she didn't push him further, but he had to be prepared for it.

Eventually Daryl scrubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand and sighed. 'She's got a right to be heard if she comes back. But she's gonna have to do that herself. Ain't like I can track a car far across tarmac anyway.'

Asha nodded wearily against his shoulder and let her eyes fall closed again.

Hell, maybe it was better that Rick had taken the choice off them.

* * *

Asha woke up to a mouthful of fur.

Crookshanks was pressed in a tightly curled ball against her face and mewed in protest as she sat up spitting. It was morning, and she looked at the thin light seeping through the sheet in the cell door before she registered the fact that she'd slept all night and no-one had woken her for watch. She felt she could comfortably have slept for another six hours or so if the ginger pillow thief hadn't interfered. Still, she already felt a world better than yesterday.

Daryl was gone. Asha frowned as reached down and tugged on her boots – she didn't even remember taking those off. He had better be on watch. If he'd taken himself off after Carol despite their chat last night she was going to skin him alive when she got her hands on him.

Lacing her boots she got up and padded quietly out of her cell and down to his – smiling in relief at the sight of him passed out face first, still in his own boots, crossbow on the floor beside him where his fingers had finally relaxed from the grip in his sleep.

There was the soft swish of material behind her and Michonne came out of her cell, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She gestured silently with her head and Asha followed her downstairs.

'He covered your shift on watch last night.' Michonne said, adjusting the scarf around her dreadlocks. 'Heard him get back in about an hour ago.'

Asha bit down on her smile, feeling her cheeks starting to glow to match the warmth in her chest. 'Then let's get out of here and let him sleep,' she said quietly.

Michonne nodded and they slipped out the cell block door.

'How's cell block A?' Asha asked nervously, taking a long breath as they stepped into the fresh air.

Michonne rubbed her face. 'Got everyone dosed up last night - everyone that was left that was. Glenn's intubated. If we'd been quicker...' She trailed off.

'Don't do that,' Asha said firmly, shaking her head. 'You guys got the meds and you got back, that's what counts - and I know you didn't stop to smell the flowers on the way.'

Her dark skinned friend nodded, but still looked unconvinced. 'So what's the plan for the morning?'

Asha shrugged and looked around the yard, gaze settling on the mound of dead still piled against the fence where Carl and Rick had mown them down. For the moment the breeze was blowing the stench away from the cell block, but they couldn't leave them there. 'You up for a bit of physical labour?'

Michonne lifted her shoulders. 'Not like we can do much to help the people in cell block A I guess.'

Asha nodded. 'I'll go pinch us a couple of cans of something for breakfast, and then we can go deal with that.' She pointed across the yard at the pile of dead.

'Great,' Michonne said flatly. 'You sure breakfast is a good idea before that?'

Asha snorted. 'I'll probably regret it later, but right now I am starving.'

Hershel joined them as they were loading the dead onto the trailer hooked to the dual cab, telling them in a relieved voice that Glenn was breathing on his own. The elderly man volunteered to help – saying he needed a break from the inside of the cell block for a bit anyway - and the work proceeded more quickly with Hershel helping Asha and her one usable hand at one end of the bodies and Michonne at the other.

The three of them loaded up the trailer and drove out into the woods, heading out far enough that the bonfire they had planned wouldn't draw attention of the walkers to the prison.

The pile of dead was crackling and smoking as Hershel and Asha tossed the last of the loose limbs from the trailer onto the flaming pile. It stank, the sickly sweet stench of grilling rotting meat wafting up into the morning air. Asha grimaced, tugging the scarf around her face higher over her nose, and then arching a brow as she met Hershel's eyes. She could feel him grimacing through his own scarf, and he shook his head wryly, tossing a final dismembered limb onto the burning heap.

They stared at the flames for a moment with the particular satisfaction of having an unpleasant job completed - then Michonne hissed suddenly behind them and Asha heard the distinct clunk of the hammer of a pistol pulling back.

The sound slid like ice down her spine and she spun around.

Michonne's back was to her, hand hovering partway towards her sword. Asha could just glimpse the barrel of the pistol bare inches from her friend's face. Looming at the end of the arm gripping the gun, a single cold eye glittering in the morning sunlight, was a face she'd hoped was buried in the dirt somewhere.

There was moment of stillness, silence, as Asha stared in shook at the Governor, then she casually eased her hand towards the small of her back where her colt revolver was wedged in her jeans.

The Governor clicked his tongue against his teeth, shaking his head slowly, as Hershel awkwardly pulled his gun. The old man glanced at Asha, before setting the weapon down on the edge of the trailer.

The Governor's gaze shifted to Asha, just as her fingers brushed the revolver's grip. Her hand stilled, eyes narrowed, as she quickly evaluated her chances of getting the gun out, firing – and actually hitting the Governor rather than Michonne – before he squeezed the trigger and splattered Michonne's brains across the ground.

Not good...and definitely not worth the chance.

Asha exhaled sharply through her nose and dropped her hand limply to her side.

She just had time to see the Governor's lips twist in a cruel smirk before the back of her head exploded in pain and darkness claimed her.

* * *

**[A/N: Not overly thrilled with the writing quality in this chapter, but hopefully it wasn't too painful to read. And i wanted to get this chapter up because there are interesting chapters coming up!]**


	38. Chapter 38

Asha woke up slowly, the white noise and vibration in her head slowly settling in to the hum of tyres on a road. She peeled her eyelids open slowly and looked up into Michonne's dark worried eyes. They were in the back of a windowless van, her head resting on her friend's leg and her hands bound in front of her.

Michonne exhaled heavily, giving her a tight smile.

'How do you feel?' Hershel asked from the other side of the van.

Asha tentatively ran an internal assessment. She was nauseated, her vision was blurry and she had a pounding headache. The back of her head felt disturbingly spongy as she probed it gently with her bound hands and there was dried blood across the back of neck and across her shoulder. She tried to sit up, but quickly decided that was a really bad idea and sank back on Michonne's leg.

'Like shit,' she groaned.

'Starting to think you weren't going to wake up,' Michonne said grimly.

'If this is how it feels to be awake I'm not sure I want to be. How long have I been out?'

'Couple hours.'

'Have we been in this van the whole time?'

'Not exactly,' Hershel said. 'Michonne and I got to speak with the Governor.'

Asha arched her brows at the elderly man.

'He wants to trade us for the prison,' he answered.

Asha hissed through her teeth. 'Shit. Our people aren't in any state to be out on the road, or to fight anyone off. Got any idea how many people he's got?'

Michonne shook her head, eyes flashing with suppressed fury.

'He's kept us hidden,' Hershel said. 'Guess it's easier for his people to threaten to kill us if we don't have human faces.'

There was something else, she could feel it in the suddenly stony silence as Hershel and Michonne shared a quick glance.

'What?' She asked.

'He's got a tank,' Michonne said flatly.

Asha blinked at them a couple of times. 'A tank?'

Michonne nodded.

'Well, shit.'

Michonne snorted. 'Yep.'

'Do we have any sort of plan?'

'Hope Rick makes the trade?' Hershel suggested.

Asha scoffed, then winced as her head pinched with pain. 'Do we really think the Governor is legit about wanting to trade?'

'Maybe he is,' Hershel mused. 'He seemed different.'

'Different enough to make up for Andrea?' Michonne spat. 'Or Merle?'

Hershel sighed heavily. 'If we're not willing to change, to accept the possibility of other people changing, what hope is there?'

Asha looked at elderly man a long moment. From a rational perspective she understood what he was saying. Emotionally, she had trouble applying it to the Governor.

'The problem with change,' she said slowly, 'is people are as likely to become worse as better.'

Hershel nodded. 'People get better, or get worse,' he said tiredly. 'But they do change. And where there's change, there's hope.'

'Not for him,' Michonne growled.

Asha sighed, lifting her bound hands to rub at her temple. 'Maybe he has changed. Maybe even for the better. Not like we can do anything about it from the back of this van anyway.'

There wasn't much to say after that and they continued in silence. Asha's vision slowly cleared as the tyres hummed and eventually her nausea subsided a little too, settling into steady waves instead of a constant presence in her stomach – though she wasn't sure how much was the aftershocks of her head injury and how much was fear at their present predicament.

She wondered if Daryl had missed her yet, and bit down on the inside of her cheek as her eyes started stinging. That wasn't helpful, but even as she thought it, the sharp blue of Daryl's eyes behind his shaggy hair filled her mind, and she closed her eyes to better concentrate on it.

'Don't go back to sleep,' Michonne muttered.

Asha grunted noncommittally, keeping her eyes closed.

Maybe fifteen minutes later the van lurched to a stop. Asha forced her eyes open as voices, tinny sounding through the metal, bounced around the vehicle. She sat up sharply as she heard the Governor bellowing for Rick.

The rear van doors screeched open, dark shapes looming against the bright rectangle of sunlight. First Hershel then Michonne were hauled from the van, and the Governor's voice echoed in the background. 'Is Hershel on your Council? What about Michonne?'

Then rough hands seized Asha, dragging her across the van floor and into the light. Blinded, she fought the nausea churning at the sudden movement as she was dumped unceremoniously on her knees next to Michonne.

'What about the speargun wielding blonde?' the Governor asked. 'Haven't caught her name yet, she's been having a little nap since we met.'

Asha sagged, blinking rapidly in the sharp afternoon sun as she tried to bring the prison into focus.

They were outside the fences, around to the left of the main gate. The tank was off to the right - _they have a mother fucking tank_ \- and as she carefully twisted her head, she could see a dozen or so armed men and women around them scattered between four or five vehicles, and could sense more behind them. The Governor stood on the side of the tank, attention fixed on the lone figure just inside the fences.

Rick's face was grey, but his eyes were like iron as he stared down the Governor and his colt python was firmly in hand.

The prison people pressed against the inner fence at the courtyard. Asha's heart raced as she searched the fence line, then lurched as she fixed on the familiar rangy build and shaggy hair. The connection clawed into her chest as Daryl's eyes locked with hers across the distance. His face was pinched and Maggie had a hand wrapped firmly around his arm as she leant in speaking urgently in his ear.

Asha managed a single shaky breath before her field of view was filled by a broad and muscular form and she was yanked to her feet by strong hands. Her vision shook again at the motion before she realised she was facing a broad barrel chest, the wiry blonde hair poking out the top of the man's singlet sending a disturbing shock of recognition through her sluggish brain. Then a hand was under her chin, pulling her eyes upwards.

Asha's eyes flickered across the familiar features of Nash's face, the strong brow and nose, dirty blonde ponytail and scar on his left temple where he'd come off his bike when he was about ten. She took it all in in an instant before looking into his eyes, a green pair matched to her own and equally wide with shock.

Then she jerked backwards, slamming her bound hands out at the apparition.

She could handle hallucinating Merle, but this was too much.

She stumbled as she unexpectedly connected with something real - hissing as the pain in her broken hand told her in no uncertain terms that there was solid flesh in front of her - and the grip on her shoulders tightened to keep her on her feet.

'What the hell Ash,' Nash muttered.

She reeled at the familiar rough twang.

How many nights since she'd lost him had she dreamt that voice, weighed up in her mind the things she'd be willing to trade just to hear it again.

She gaped, stopped breathing and her legs faded away to nothing beneath her.

Her brother's grip tightened, shifted and then his bear hug arms were wrapped around her, crushing her to his chest.

'Fuck Ash, I thought I was never gonna see you again.' She could hear the tremor just behind his voice as it rasped in her ear. 'I looked for you, but ya never left me any damn sign.'

Her anger flared, suddenly trumping any concern she had about whether or not he was real.

How _dare_ he?

She tried to shove him but his grip was like a vice. 'I fucking searched for you,' she hissed. 'I didn't stop until the winter made me, and then I started up again as soon as I could. I've left signs for you over half the state!' She was yelling. 'I fucking followed you to Braysville, to Seth. You died!' She gagged on the words and then tried to shove him again. He was like a wall of rock. 'You fucking died. He killed you, stabbed you in the heart while you slept. He told me so.'

Nash laughed a little harshly. 'Seth. That crazy bastard. Should never have trusted him as far as I did, but I didn't trust him that far.'

He held her at arms length with one hand and pulled the side of his singlet inwards towards his chest, revealing a large puckered scar between the shoulder and breast plate on the left hand side. 'The little fucker thought I was sleeping. Damn stupid that I even had my eyes closed, otherwise he'd never have got near me. Bastard was lucky I only knocked him out after that effort.'

Asha stared at him in bewildered shock, eyes flickering between his face and the scar until he wrapped his arm back around her and puller her back against his chest - his perfectly solid, perfectly real chest.

He smelt like Nash. God knows she'd done his dirty laundry enough over the years to know the way he stunk after a few days without a wash. Somehow, after all this time, he still smelt like salt water.e

It really was him.

She couldn't think, let alone find any words. The strength went out of her as she was flooded with relief - with release from a stress she'd been carrying so long that she'd forgotten it was there.

For a moment Nash's arms tightened around her, but then he was holding her back, running a hand across the dried blood on her shoulder and taking in her bruised face and the blood soaked bandage around her hand. His eyes flattened in an distinctly unfriendly way and his jaw clenched.

The Governor's voice cut in behind him. 'You want to tell me what's going on here Nash?'

Her brother ripped around. 'You wanna tell me why my sister is bloody and beaten and was tied up in the back of a van?' he roared.

'She's one of them,' the Governor said dismissively. 'A thief. A killer.'

'You better watch what you say. You don't even know her.'

'I know the people she's with.'

Nash glanced over his shoulder at Asha.

She gave a tiny shake of her head. 'I'm with good people,' she said emphatically.

'You let my people go right now,' Rick's voice rang out. 'I'll stay down here, talk as long as you want, but you let 'em go right now. You've got a tank. You don't need hostages.'

'I do,' the Governor retorted, turning back to Rick. 'This is just to let you know I'm serious. There's no sense in blowing a hole in our new home. You've got till sundown to get outta here.'

'It doesn't have to go down this way.'

'It does. I've got more people, more fire power. We need this prison. There it is. This isn't about the past, it's about right now.'

Rick scrubbed his hand across his face. 'There are children here. Some of them are sick, they won't survive.'

The Governor laughed. 'I have a tank, and I'm letting you walk away. What is there to talk about? I could shoot you all, you would all shoot back, I know that. But we'd win, and you'd be dead. But it doesn't have to be like that. It's your choice.'

The reality of what was happening slowly sifted through the shock of finding Nash and into Asha's brain. 'What the hell are you doing with Philip?' she hissed urgently in her brother's ear. 'The man is fucking nuts.'

'Philip?' Nash asked from the corner of his mouth, eyes flickering between Rick and the Governor.

'Yeah, that's his name, but he used to like going by 'the Governor' as well.' She pulled urgently on the back of her brother's shirt. 'I'm serious Nash, he's dangerous. He killed and tortured our friends and he massacred his own people after the last raid he led on us failed.'

Her brother turned his head around to look at her properly, eyes narrowed.

'He drove a van full of walkers into the yard and left them to attack us,' Asha said quietly emphasising each word. 'And then he gunned down his own people on the road after they abandoned their raid on us. Please Nash, please trust me. I am right about this.'

Hard eyes searched her face, then her brother gave a sharp nod and turned back to the tank.

'There something you haven't been telling us Brian?' he asked raising his voice and cutting over the Governor's conversation with Rick. 'Or should I call you Philip?'

The Governor's eyes flashed angrily. 'I've kept you alive. I am going to keep you alive. That's all you need to know.'

'You haven't kept me alive,' Nash scoffed. 'Martinez and Pete found me when I was injured, they took me in. They kept me alive.' His voice hardened. 'They kept everyone alive until these last few weeks when you showed up.'

Asha looked around, eyes narrowing as she failed to locate Martinez anywhere in the group. She murmured quietly in her brother's ear. 'Did Martinez die mysteriously after Philip showed up?'

Nash's head jerked in a short nod.

The Governor lifted his pistol and pointed it at Asha. 'You get that bitch back on her knees with the others or I will put a bullet in her head.

Nash stepped in front of her. 'You best stop pointing that at my sister.' His voice was bleak and he hefted the semi automatic rifle in his hands.

Rick's voice rang out from the yard. 'We can all live here together.'

Asha's head snapped around and from the corner of her eye she saw the Governor's do the same.

Was Rick fucking insane?

Rick glanced at the corner guard tower, in flames after the tank's welcome round, and Asha could see what the words were costing him. He ground them out. 'We can all live here together. There's enough room for all of us.'

She shared a panicked glance with Michonne, her friend's eyes were wide and face rigid with shock. _We can't. _Her heart screamed at her, but she kept her lips clamped together, swallowing her bile, and trusting Rick.

'More than enough room,' the Governor answered calmly. 'But my family wouldn't sleep well knowing you were under the same roof.'

'We'd live in different cell blocks.' The words dragged out of Rick. 'We wouldn't even have to see each other till we were ready.'

'It could work,' Hershel called from his knees. 'You know it could.'

'Once maybe.' The Governor shook his head. 'But not after Woodbury, not after Andrea.'

'I'm not saying it'll be easy,' Rick said. 'Truth be told, it'll be harder than just shooting each other. But I don't think we've got any choice.'

'You don't.'

'We're not leaving,' Rick said. 'Gun shots will only bring more dead. They'll bring the fences down, and without the fences, this place is worthless.' His face hardened visibly. 'We can all live here or none of us can.'

The Governor's lip twitched into a sneer and he leapt down from the tank. Someone out of Asha's view behind a car handed him Michonne's katana – the blade singing as he pulled it free of the sheath and then pressed it against Hershel's neck.

Asha's heart stopped. She pawed frantically at Nash's back. 'Stop him,' she hissed.

'Is this what you want?' Rick appealed desperately to the people outside the fence. 'Is this really what any of you want?'

'We want what you have,' growled a man in a baseball cap standing in the tank hatch. 'Time for you to leave asshole.'

'I've fought him before,' Rick said pointing to the Governor. 'And after, we took in what was left of his people. They became leaders in what we have here. You put down your weapons and come in and you're one of us. No strings, no history.' He gestured around with his handgun, taking in the entire group outside the fences, and the now heavily armed prison group lining the courtyard fence. 'Is this really what you want?'

There was a long pause.

'Not me,' Nash said quietly, his voice carrying in the heavy silence. He hefted the rifle in his hands and Asha's stomach clenched as he tossed it on the ground. 'I'm not fighting my sister's people. She says they're good people.' Nash looked around, appealing to his own people. 'Most of you have known me for months. You trust me.' He met Asha's eyes. 'And I trust her.'

He'd never apologised for leaving her after the thing with the men who took Ren, but she could read it in his eyes now. Her heart swelled, lips trembling as her eyes filled with tears.

Nash turned back to his group, raising his voice. 'Rick here is offering to let us in. We can live together. We'll be stronger together, and no-one needs to bleed to make it happen. Isn't that what we really want? Somewhere safe to make a home? Why the hell would we turn that down?'

'There's no safety with them,' the Governor roared. 'They're killers.'

'And you've never killed anyone?' Nash roared back. 'How many of us can claim that? I can't. What really happened to Martinez, Brian - or Philip, or whatever the hell your name is? What else haven't you been telling us. What happened to Pete?'

Asha could feel it, in the second glances the people outside the fence were shooting at the Governor. The mood of the group was starting to shift away from him. Nash stood empty handed in front of them, palms open and facing upwards as he ignored Philip and spoke directly to his people.

'We don't need him to make this decision for us. We've all got brains. We can all think about this ourselves - and I reckon we should think about what Rick is suggesting. Isn't it worth at least trying before we blow each other to bits?'

He turned back to face the Governor

Asha was so proud of him she could have burst.

Asha looked around her brother's broad back as Nash and the Governor stared at each other. She watched, as the Governor's one eye hardened and his lips twitched.

Too late Asha realised he was holding Michonne's sword one handed and had his gun in the other.

'Traitor,' he snarled, and then his hand was up and a gunshot cracked, the sound thunderously loud and echoing back from the woods around them.

Asha flinched. Warm red chunks splattered across her chest - suddenly too tight to breathe - as her vision contracted to the bloody mess that had been the back of her brother's head. There was silence as his huge form wavered, almost as though he teetered in the breeze, before his knees buckled and he slowly pitched face first into the soil.

And then Asha screamed.

* * *

**[A/N: Hope you enjoyed this one. Merry Christmas everyone.]**


	39. Chapter 39

Daryl shook with anger, the vibration in his body echoing the aftershock of the tank's welcoming cannon shot. In the corner of the yard, the western guard tower blazed and slowly disintegrated. Squinting, Daryl watched Rick stride across the yard, dwarfed by the line of vehicles and the heavy artillery pulled up outside the fence. His fingers twitched as he stared at the familiar figure on side of the tank.

Philip, the damn Governor. He sucked in a deep breath, suddenly seething with the need to drive a knife through the bastard's sneering face.

Some distance beyond the vehicle cavalcade a thin plume of white smoke drifted skyward, from - he assumed - the pyre of dead place Asha, Hershel and Michonne had lit.

They could still be out there hidden in the woods. That could give them an advantage, some element of surprise against the Governor.

He hung on to that thought.

Rick and the Governor were talking, their words incomprehensible across the distance until the Governor raised his voice. 'Is Hershel on your Council? What about Michonne?'

Daryl's stomach dropped as his friends were pulled from the back of a van and tossed roughly to their knees in front of the line of cars.

Then a blonde form was dragged from the vehicle and hurled to the ground. The curve of her limbs was all too familiar to him. She crumpled forwards, and even from across the yard he could see the dark smear of dried blood across the back of her neck and down her shoulder. Daryl's brain burst into flame.

She wasn't supposed to end up covered in blood again.

He was moving towards the gate before he realised it. Then Maggie was in his way, hand wrapped around his arm.

'Stop,' she hissed.

He growled something incoherent and kept pushing forwards.

'Let Rick handle it. You think I don't want to be down there too? That is _my dad_.' Her breath hissed harshly. 'You'll just be letting the Governor know he's got more leverage than he already thinks he does.' Her nails dug into his arm, sharp pinpricks of pain in the heat in his brain. 'We need you here.'

A muscle leapt in Daryl's throat and he bared his teeth, eyes flashing back to the line of vehicles. Asha had pushed herself to her knees and she was anxiously searching the courtyard fence line. Daryl felt it, the instant her eyes met his, and he sucked in a breath.

Her chest heaved in time with his.

_She's ok._ He repeated the words like a mantra.

'Daryl,' Maggie hissed urgently.

Damn it, Maggie was right. He was needed in the yard. He forced himself to focus, scanning the line of vehicles and weighing the odds.

'We can't take 'em all on,' he growled. 'We go through the woods if things go south, we ain't got the numbers any more.'

_I ain't leaving her._

He glanced at Maggie, and then the bin full of rifles at the back of the guard tower. 'Hand those out, and let everyone know to go for the bus if needed.'

Maggie nodded, eyes hardening as she moved to the bin.

His eyes slid back to Asha, jaw tightening as he saw her struggling with a huge, dirty haired man who had arms like tree trunks wrapped around her. The huge man suddenly laughed, holding Asha at arm's length as he scraped at his shoulder, and despite the distance Daryl could see the whites roll around Asha's eyes as a look of pure shock passed over her face. She collapsed into the man's chest and Daryl's lips flattened out in jealousy.

The Governor said something to the huge man, words lost to Daryl in the breeze. The man twisted, shifting a shell shocked Asha carefully behind him as turned to the Governor.

'You wanna tell me why my sister is bloody and beaten and was tied up in the back of a van?' the man roared.

Daryl's eyes narrowed as he took in Asha's stunned expression, the guy's size and - visible now he'd turned around - the thick black tattoo around his left forearm.

He exhaled sharply. _Holy shit. Nash_.

Nash had one hand steadying his sister behind him, and his chin jutted angrily as he traded words with the Governor.

So long as he kept Asha alive, Daryl didn't care how he'd managed to come back from the dead.

Maggie pressed a rifle into his hand, wide eyes looking out across the yard as he took it. 'Is that...'

Daryl jerked his head sharply, slinging his cross bow across his back has he took the semi automatic rifle. Asha had her hand clenched in the back of her brother's shirt and was speaking forcibly in his ear. The Governor was trading words with Rick again, and his voice rang across the yard. 'I have a tank, and I'm letting you walk away. What is there to talk about?'

Daryl glanced around. Their people lined the fence, those of them well enough to be standing anyway. They were too few, but they were ready to fight if that was the way things went down. He felt a sudden fierce surge of pride. Maybe they'd be forced out, but no way they were rolling over without a fight - and if the Governor was stupid enough to hurt any of his hostages…

Coldness stole through Daryl's stomach as he took in Hershel and Michonne on their knees and Asha sheltered behind her brother.

_Ain't nothing you can do about that right now._

He moved slowly across to the bin to help Maggie discretely hand out the rest of the weaponry, claiming a semi automatic for himself and palming a hand grenade as he went.

'I can take him out,' Carl said, hefting the rifle Daryl had just passed him onto his shoulder and resting the barrel through the chain link fence. The boy squinted as he sighted through the scope. 'I'm a good shot. I can end this now.'

Daryl rested the barrel of his own rifle through the fence. He peered through the scope and the Governor's forehead leapt magnified into his crosshairs. It was tempting, so tempting. One clean shot and the bastard would fall. It would be worth it – for Merle – even without everything the Governor had done since then.

But if the Governor suddenly fell, Hershel, Michonne, Asha and Rick were all in the immediate firing line. He ground his teeth together.

'Yeah,' he said sourly to Carl. 'Or ya might start something. Ya dad's got this. Gotta trust him.'

Carl's eyes narrowed in the shadow of his sheriff's hat.

Daryl's worked his jaw a couple of times, it was starting to ache from being clenched. Rick had this. He squinted at the prison people lining the fence, trying to think what else needed doing to get everyone out. There wasn't time to try to increase the supplies on the bus, but out of the corner of his eye he could see a line of people boarding the vehicle. He forced himself to breathe a couple of times. They all knew what they were doing. They'd gone over it plenty of times

Carl's sudden intake of breath pulled his attention back to the fence.

Sunlight glinted off Michonne's katana, as the Governor shifted his grip on the blade where it was pressed against Hershel's neck.

The aged vet looked surprisingly calm.

Rick's voice rang out, appealing to the people beyond the fence. 'Is this really what you want?'

There was silence, and Daryl seethed at the smug smirk he could see twitching on the Governor's face, until suddenly it disappeared.

'Not me,' Nash said. The huge man's eyes were locked on the Governor as he swung the automatic rifle off his shoulder and tossed it disparagingly at the Governor's feet.

His voice carried clearly. 'I'm not fighting my sister's people. She says they're good people.' He turned around and addressed his own people. 'Most of you have known me for months. You trust me.' He glanced at his sister. 'And I trust her.'

Nash spread his hands, attention turned back to his group. 'Rick here is offering to let us in. We can live together. We'll be stronger together, and no-one needs to bleed to make it happen. Isn't that what we really want? Somewhere safe to make a home? Why the hell would we turn that down?'

'There's no safety with them,' the Governor roared. 'They're killers.'

'And you've never killed anyone?' Nash challenged. 'What happened to Pete and Martinez, Brian? Or Philip, or whatever the hell your name is?'

Daryl felt the corner of his mouth twitch in a sneer that matched Nash's tone.

'We don't need him to make this decision for us,' Nash said dismissively, gesturing at the Governor. 'We've all got brains. We can all think about this ourselves - and I reckon we should think about what Rick is suggesting.'

Nash fixed a flat eyed stare at the Governor.

Daryl was watching Asha when it happened. Her face was glowing as she watched her brother, eyes wide and shining and small smile on her lips. Then the colour drained from her face, her jaw dropped and her eyes bulged. The sharp gunshot report rang in the air, and from the corner of his eye, Daryl saw Nash topple to the ground.

Asha screamed, an animalistic screech of such loss and pain that it seemed for an instant to be the only sound left in the world. The sound ripped through Daryl's chest and he forgot to breathe as Asha lurched forwards, collapsing by her fallen brother. Her scream choked into pieces, head falling forwards as the loose hair from her braid fell across her face.

There was a shocked silence. Daryl could see Rick's shoulders shift as he heaved a couple of breaths, but before he could speak - before anyone had the presence of mind to move - the Governor crammed his handgun into its holster, gripped Michonne's katana two handed and swung.

He didn't quite have Michonne's technique. The sword lodged partway through Hershel's neck, the old man's head tilting at an unnatural angle and blood fountaining from the gash.

Rick bellowed, lifting his python and firing as he retreated quickly behind the overturned bus in the yard.

Daryl was vaguely aware of Maggie and Beth screaming somewhere nearby, the sound sucked into the cacophony of gunfire that erupted across the yard. His own finger was jammed hard against the trigger adding to the barrage.

After a minute of mindless rampage, the rage hot and bitter in his mouth, he jerked his head back from the scope and scanned the area. Rick was behind the bus, bleeding from the leg but firing his colt python. The Governor had disappeared back between the vehicles with Hershel. He caught a glimpse of Michonne rolling sideways around one of the vehicle's, hands still bound but moving under her own control at least.

Asha...Asha seemed completely unaware of the bullets flying around her. She'd rolled her brother on to his back, and was crouched, half laying in the dirt beside him - her lips moving as she smoothed his hair gently back from his forehead.

Daryl hissed. _Damn it woman, get the hell out of there - or at least stay flat on the ground out of the line of fire._

The tank rolled forwards, blocking his vision. Snarling in frustration he fired at the insects cowering behind the safety of the steel clad artillery.

_Focus man, ya can't help her till this is taken care of. _

He looked for an arm, a limb, a god damn centre body mass protruding behind the tank that he could take a shot at.

The tank rolled inexorably forward.

Right up to the fence.

Right over the fence

The flimsy barrier bulged forwards, chain link straining over the rough angles of the tank, before the upright posts ripped from the ground and a section of first the outer fence and then the inner fence collapsed into a flattened mess. Just like that, the thin metal line between here and there, safety and danger, came crashing down. The tank tracks barely crunched as they rolled over it.

Daryl grit his teeth, swallowing the sour taste in his mouth as he realised that, whatever the outcome of the battle, their home had disappeared.

He had to find Asha. Without the prison to return to, it would be impossible to find each other if they were separated.

He squeezed the trigger, streaming bullets towards the invading force, but the damn tank gave them too much cover. Its main gun boomed and Daryl was suddenly showered in loose mortar as part of the prison wall crumpled above him. As he shook his head to dispel the ringing in his ears, the damn thing fired again and the top of the guard tower exploded in flames. He glanced across the yard and glimpsed the Governor and Rick pounding bare fisted and bloody on each other before they rolled behind the bus.

Behind them, the dead had started to swarm, numbers building as they were drawn by the gunfire.

He couldn't see Asha anywhere.

The tank ploughed through the inner courtyard fence, the prison people scattering in front of it, falling back to positions inside the courtyard and towards the bus. Tyrese was firing somewhere behind him, Maggie and Carl had disappeared. Daryl was by himself on the far side of the tank from the bus. His mouth quirked in grim satisfaction as the people hiding behind the tank suddenly came into his line of view. He kept his finger tight against the trigger until the magazine was empty, then lurched back, taking cover behind an old filing cabinet and couple of pallets as fire was returned.

Beneath the ricochet of bullets he heard the dead snarling as those closest to the prison followed the tank into the yard. He snarled back, jamming his last clip in the rifle. A glance across the yard revealed Rick on the ground, the Governor's hands wrapped around his neck and teeth bared in a rictus of a smile. Daryl froze in shock as he watched Rick struggle, until he saw Michonne stalking like some great panther behind the Governor with her recovered katana in hand. A foot of blood soaked metal suddenly appeared in the middle of the Governor's chest. The eye patched man released Rick, lifting a finger to the blade as if he couldn't quite understand how it had come to be there, before collapsing backwards as Michonne smoothly pulled the blade free.

Daryl smiled in grim satisfaction. _It's done Merle._

The deep boom of the tank's cannon sounded again and the prison shook. Shading his eyes from the raining mortar dust, he noted the Governor's people were reduced to a mere handful, but the dead were numerous and fast spilling into the yard. He felt a moment of helplessness as he looked at the armoured vehicle, main gun swinging around to aim at the catwalk. Then he noticed the thin trail of smoke rising from the barrel, and remembered grenade he'd pulled from the bin.

He fired into the nearby dead, scooping up the closest walker and using him as a body shield as he moved towards the tank. The invaders were distracted by the walkers approaching from their rear. Then he pulled the pin and dropped the grenade down the smoking cannon barrel.

There was a satisfyingly panicked yell followed by a deep echoing boom from the tank, and then the hatch slammed open, smoke billowing upwards.

A man with a cap clambered out, choking slightly, and then hesitating, hands up as he came face to face with Daryl. Daryl paused, taking in the tightness around the man's eyes and the sneer on his lips in an instant, and then put a bullet through his chest.

Behind him, he heard the rumble of the bus engine and saw it disappear through the haze of smoke.

At least some of their people had gotten out.

The loss of the tank, and possibly the Governor too, demoralised the few remaining invaders. The odd pop of gunfire somewhere out of sight suggested there were still people somewhere, but mostly he could just see the dead.

Asha…

He couldn't see her near the line of cars any more, but he didn't know where else to look for her. Walkers filled what was left of the yard and one of the horses screamed as they swarmed the makeshift stable.

If he could get out through the dog run he could skirt around the side of the yard and avoid most of the dead.

He lifted his rifle and fired at the dead closing in on him, moving across the courtyard towards the fence. Too late he realised there were more dead in his way then could have filtered in across the yard behind the tank. The reason quickly became apparent. The wooden log supports in the dog run had caved in under the weight of walkers drawn by noise. They spilled over the fence and into the yard, leaving a trail of blood and guts and dismembered limbs as they snagged on the fallen razor wire. Where the dog run joined the corner guard tower, they'd breached the fence and had direct access to the courtyard.

Daryl snarled, lifting the rifle and firing indiscriminately as he was forced back, until there was an empty sounding click. He slammed back behind the filing cabinet and pallets, hard breath tearing through his teeth. He had his crossbow, but with so many dead he'd be hard pressed to recover bolts, and once he was out…

He eyed the bin behind the guard tower across the courtyard. Slim chance, but there might be some ammo left.

He reversed the rifle in his hands so he could swing the butt like club and readied himself for the sprint across the distance. Muscles coiled like springs, a sudden burst of gunfire from behind his flimsy shelter froze him as the dead closest to him fell under a barrage of bullets.

He risked a glimpse around the edge of his shelter, in time to see Asha turn a semi automatic on the walkers following her in from the dog run.

Some of the tightness in his chest loosened, and – braining a walker with the butt of his rifle - he darted the few paces across the courtyard to her. She spun, eyes vacant and empty, gun raised and pointed at his chest and for an instant he wondered if Nash's death had broken her. But then recognition flickered in her eyes - followed by loss so profound he felt the echo of it pull through him - and she breathed his name.

'Daryl'

He wrapped an arm around her, crushing her to him for an instant as she turned those lost eyes on him before he pulled back. She was covered in dirt and blood, but from the searching hand he ran quickly across her, she didn't seem hurt.

She jerked back suddenly, raising her gun to take out the walkers coming up behind him. He pulled her and she stumbled to a run behind him as they darted around the corner of the prison towards the entry to C block – out of the immediate path of most of the incoming dead.

'I have to…,' she mumbled, 'Nash.' Her vacant eyes suddenly turned black with hatred. 'I have to find the Governor.'

'He's dead.'

She jerked, eyes wide on his for a moment.

'Michonne got 'im.'

She paced a couple of steps, eyes narrowed as her mouth twisted. Tears were tracking silently down her cheeks. 'Where?'

He could see she was going to have trouble accepting it without seeing the body. He couldn't blame her. After all the hassle the man had caused he'd want to see the body too. They'd believed he was a good as gone once before and look where that had lead.

He nodded, reaching out a hand to stop her pacing. She bounced away from his fingertips, jerking and missing a step as her pacing continued. He growled quietly, slinging the useless rifle over his shoulder and wrapping both arms around her, pulling her back tight against his chest. She twitched, whole body shaking with tension. He turned her towards the yard, dropping his chin over her shoulder and pointing with one hand.

'There, in the middle of the yard'.

The Governor's unmoving, bloody chested form was just visible in the long grass. Asha stilled. Daryl scanned the area. He couldn't see Rick or Michonne, or any of their group anywhere. Then his eyes narrowed, there was a figure moving through the yard that wasn't a walker. A woman he didn't recognise, who heedless of the dead strode in the direction of the Governor's prone form. Asha gasped, stiffening as the Governor moved. The man struggled up to an elbow, blood bubbling down his chin as his lips moved, hand lifted imploringly to the woman bearing down on him.

'Don't,' Asha hissed, and Daryl knew she wasn't talking to him. 'He doesn't deserve a quick death.'

He tightened his arms around her.

The woman stopped a few paces short of the Governor's feet. She lifted a pistol, gun shaking visibly and hesitated a moment, before squeezing the trigger. The Governor fell flat on his back, and Asha sagged in his arms - and the dead in the yard turned to the sound of the gunshot. The woman simply stood there waiting, gun limp at her side. Asha's chest heaved in the cocoon of his arms as he pulled her attention away.

'Ash,' he murmured in her ear, 'Baby, we gotta go.'

The words struck home as he said them. The Governor was dead, but their home was gone. The fence was down where it had been flattened by the tank and where the weakened section had collapsed. Two of the guard towers flamed and the courtyard was littered with rubble from the attentions of the tank. He could taste the acrid smoke from the burning buildings.

Their people were scattered and Hershel - his arms tightened around Asha as the familiar surge of guilt and pain swirled in his stomach at the thought of the old man. He growled at the feeling, and at the dead coming towards them - something Asha must have noticed too, because she stiffened and stepped away raising the rifle. Out of ammo himself, he took out the two closest dead with his knife. Asha twisted around him with rifle, firing a barrage at the walkers further away. A quick glance showed she was blank faced and flat eyed again.

He ground his teeth together, touching her shoulder and gesturing towards the back of the prison, in the direction the bus had gone. She nodded, squeezing the trigger to clear them a path as he swung his cross bow off his back. Before they'd taken two steps there was a volley of gunfire from the entry to C block, and Beth came hurtling down the stairs, a semi automatic looking ludicrously oversized in her tiny hands.

'I was looking for the kids, to get them on the bus,' she gasped. 'We have to find them.' She glanced around wildly. 'Where's the bus?'

Asha fired at another few walkers. Daryl wasn't even sure she'd heard Beth speak. He wasn't sure how either woman still had any ammo left, but it wasn't going to last forever. He shook his head at Beth, looking around at the smoking ruins.

'We gotta go,' he said, heart heavy with the words. Beth's mouth opened and her brow furrowed, but he cut her off, 'Beth. We gotta go.'

The young woman nodded jerkily, face suddenly white.

Nudging Asha in the shoulder to get her moving in the right direction, Daryl led the two women through a gap in the fence and away from the burning prison.

* * *

**[A/N: Firstly, thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter! It's one of my faves so i'm glad it prompted a response. And i really, really love getting your comments on this story. Knowing you guys are getting something out of it really does give me a push to keep on writing. Sorry Nash had to die - but i'm glad you weren't happy about it! It would have been fun to integrate him into the group, but Nash dying at the Governor's hands was one of the scenes I had in my head when I started this story, so it was always going to happen. As usual, apologies for the lapse in time between this chapter and the last. But hey, I had a baby, so personally I'm kinda amazed this chapter is going up at all! Also, I hope the time overlap at the start of this chapter with the end of the last wasn't too confusing.]**


	40. Chapter 40

They were in the woods. They'd been running for a while but they were walking now. Daryl was out in front, the pale wings stitched on his back moving silently through the trees. Beth followed, feet dragging, and Asha's eyes fixed on the lone braid amongst her blonde ponytail. Beth's hair was a shade darker than Asha's, more golden in tone than her own washed out pale blonde. Oddly enough, Beth was almost the exact shade of blonde as Ren had been.

Asha jerked her eyes away. She forced herself to look around with some semblance of alertness. Watch the trees; listen for the dead – for any threat. Daryl was trusting her to watch their rear.

Her alertness lasted all of a few minutes before her mind started to wander. She couldn't seem to hold a thought in her head.

She knew why.

Images flashed in her mind, images her mind shied away from – blood spatter, brain spatter, the Governor's hand gripped in Hershel's hair, Hershel's head swinging, Nash teetering in the wind.

Her mind skipped around, focusing instead on the light falling green through the leaves, a beetle crawling on rough bark, Daryl's winged back, the sunlight bouncing off Beth's hair - anything to block out the images flickering in her head.

_Nash_.

She'd mourned him after Seth, had still been mourning him, but seeing him again had wiped the slate clean. The word was overused, but it really had been a true miracle – and having that ripped away in a barrage of blood and brains, it was somehow worse than losing him the first time. Her mind couldn't hold it. It skittered around, from Nash, to Hershel, to the smoking prison ruins, to the knowledge that their group was gone.

She shook herself.

Not all gone. She had Daryl and Beth. Michonne was not dead. Daryl had seen her run the Governor through, so she'd survived until the worst of the battle was over. Rick, Maggie, Glenn...Asha grit her teeth. She had no idea where the rest of them were, if they'd survived…

She stumbled, realising she was wandering blank minded again. She tried to focus. There was sunlight bouncing off Ren's hair. She blinked a couple of times. There was something wrong with that thought but she couldn't place it. She could feel reality flaking away.

_The trees, girly, watch the trees._

'Merle?'

She twisted. There were people in the trees, slow moving people.

_The trees..._

'Merle? Where are you?'

Some of the people turned towards her.

None of them were Merle.

Why was Merle be wandering in the woods. Her heart thudded painfully. Was he hurt? There was an itch at the back of her mind and she shook her head again, but it felt like it was packed with cotton wool. Nothing made sense.

There was a high pitched frantic sound behind her, but it sounded far away.

One of the people loomed towards her, but it wasn't Merle. It was a woman. She looked wrong, angry. She came close, right into Asha's face and Asha shoved her aside irately. The woman toppled awkwardly to the ground.

The smell…

It was the smell that brought her back – that sadly familiar stench of week old fish guts left rotting in the sun.

She gagged, tasting it in the back of her throat.

Not people, walkers.

Their snarling suddenly rang clear in her brain. A bolt zinged past her ear to bury itself in the face of a deadhead – one who was dangerously close to Asha's left shoulder.

Someone who sounded like Ren was screaming her name behind her.

She snarled, pulling her knife and driving her boot heel through the head of the walker she'd shoved to the ground. Then she lay about with the blade, until the whole world was reduced to the sound of snarling and the thunk of falling flesh, white noise that blocked everything else out. Finally there were no more walkers in easy reach, but she could see some still, in the distance among the trees.

She smiled grimly, flicking the blood of her blade before starting after them. She was going to kill them all.

A strong arm wrapped around her waist, hauling her off her feet.

'Are ya outta ya fucking mind,' a voice rasped in her ear. 'What are ya trying to do? Get yourself killed?'

She hissed, struggling to get away, her mind a red haze.

'Stop it Asha.' The voice was harsh. 'Enough.'

She twisted, arm coiled to attack the owner of the vice like grip, and came face to face with a set of piercing blue eyes. They cut through the haze. Daryl.

Over his shoulder, Beth was wide eyed and shaking, knuckles white where her hand gripped her knife. She suddenly registered the horde of dead lying around them. She was bloody to the shoulders, Daryl the same, and even Beth was splattered in blood.

As the world leapt back into focus, so did her pain.

Her brother's head exploded again in her mind.

Nash...

'He was still alive,' she moaned. 'Nash was still alive. I abandoned him.' She choked on her own breath. 'Why didn't you let me keep looking for him?'

Daryl flinched back as if burnt, letting her go.

She hadn't even realised those words were in her head, let alone coming out of her mouth. Her eyes widened. She heard their echo and wanted them back as soon as she'd said them. She reached for him

'Daryl, I didn't mean…'

Daryl snarled. 'Ya meant it.' He gestured around them. 'If ya done with ya fucking temper tantrum then can we fucking go now. I ain't letting ya damn death wish take me and Beth down too.'

He turned his back on her, striding away. Beth, chest heaving, turned after him.

Feet dragging, Asha followed them, a new hollowness carving out her chest.

She hadn't meant it...had she?

* * *

They walked through the woods. They were silent. They were almost always silent now. A handful of days had passed, nights spent hiding in abandoned homes or cars or camping out under the trees in with the scant provisions they'd scavenged from already well picked over houses. He kept them away from the towns as much as possible, never knew who was around.

He shifted his grip on his cross bow. He'd been carrying the thing continuously so long now that it felt like his hand was permanently moulded to its shape. Wasn't a bad feeling exactly, but some part of his brain wondered at the way he felt incomplete without it in his hand. He concentrated on the trees, the trail, looking for signs that something had been through there he could hunt. Or that other people had come this way.

He tried hard not to think about the prison. He could still smell the place burning. He grimaced. He should have known it wasn't going to last. He'd never had a home in his life, why had he expected that to change?

His eyes slipped across to Asha and he jerked them away.

He tried even harder not to think about the people they'd lost.

They'd ended up south of the prison. Daryl ground his teeth together yet again with the sour realisation of the deficiency of their evacuation plans. Why hadn't they had a designated rendezvous place? Stupid. There was no reason for them not to have somewhere planned. They'd relied too heavily on that damn bus.

Didn't matter now. Their people were either all dead or all lost. He tried to tell himself that it didn't matter. He'd survived on his own before. He could do it again.

He could almost convince himself of that.

A small voice in the back of his mind asked him why he bothered going on, what he thought was going to get better? He didn't have any answers. He'd never had any answers. That voice was an old friend and he had plenty of practice ignoring it.

He kept them heading south. The further south they went, the easier the winter would be.

He was driving them hard. They moved, or he hunted and they ate, and then they moved again. Until they were too tired to move. then they slept – or at least some of them did – and did it all again. To their credit, neither woman had complained, though their eyes were black rimmed with exhaustion.

Daryl had never needed much sleep, although he knew he was pushing that ability to the limit at the moment. Asha was capable of sleeping a solid ten hours when things were going well, but she hadn't slept through the night since fleeing the prison. She started each night curled in on herself, shoulders shaking until she suddenly jerked awake. When she came to relieve him from watch, she was always white faced and slick with sweat.

By unspoken agreement neither of them ever woke Beth. Although she tossed and turned she could still sleep through the night and it seemed neither Asha nor Daryl wanted to take that from her. It did little for the young woman's mood however.

Beth had been quiet the first few days after fleeing the prison, but had then begun inquiring how they were going to find the rest of their group. Her increasingly insistent demands had been met with silence by both Daryl and Asha and her anger had surged in response. Walking now, Daryl could feel her glare boring into the back of his head, even as he listened to her feet dragging through the leaf litter.

Asha...Asha's face just became blanker and emptier by the day. The first night after the prison, after Beth had fallen asleep, she'd gripped his arm, eyes burning, lips moving fervently as she'd murmured some crap about how she hadn't meant what she'd said about Nash. He'd seen her mouth moving, forming the words, but it was like there was a veil over her face and all he saw was her eyes full of loss and her voice gasping out the words, "_I abandoned him. Why didn't you let me keep looking?"_

Just another person he'd failed.

He didn't have any words to answer her, so he'd stayed silent, and eventually his face had closed over and she'd turned away.

Since then, at first he'd seen her struggling, biting down on her bottom lip as he watched her out of the corner of his eye. He'd thought she was trying to find the words to say something to him, but those moments had become less frequent, faded, as they both focused on surviving.

They barely spoke now.

The bitter emptiness he felt at the loss of their group was magnified each time he met her eyes. So he tried to stop looking at her, or at least meeting her gaze.

He glanced across at Asha. Her eyes - for the moment at least – were alert, the rifle barrel held loosely in her still healing hand. Her fingers twitched as he watched her. She'd started regularly bending and flexing her fingers, and he knew Hershel had told her she had to do so to stop the tendons fusing to the bone as they healed.

At least she was paying attention now. He grimaced sourly to himself. He could still picture the way she'd walked aimlessly away from him and Beth into that horde of walkers - vacant eyed and ignoring both his and Beth's calls. Ignoring the walkers even, until that first one lurched forwards and near scrapping her with its teeth before she finally seemed to register where she was.

His stomach had turned to ice.

He was still pissed at her for being so stupid.

She hadn't been much better the following few days, and he'd found himself repeatedly looking over his shoulder to check she was still there. However they'd come across plenty of dead those first few days, and it had only taken a few encounters for her inattention to fade. She'd thrown herself on the dead, eyes blazing and with reckless fury. She'd been alert to the danger among the trees since then.

Daryl suspected she rather looked forward to venting her fury on the dead.

Asha must have felt him looking, and her eyes met his for a moment, her face expressionless, before sliding back away into the trees.

She reached into the small pack she'd scavenged, pulling out the last of a small packet of stale crackers - the last of their scavenged supplies. She held them out to Beth, whose stomach had been growling at them for the last hour or so too.

Beth frowned at her. 'You two have to eat too,' she said.

Asha shrugged, eyes turned out to the woods.

Beth crossed her arms sullenly. 'I mean it'.

'We do,' Asha said without turning around, voice empty sounding. 'We're just more used to trail rations than you.' She shook the pack insistently, waiting until Beth sighed and took it.

Despite their differences, Daryl and Asha had fallen easily back into the patterns they'd kept for the months they'd been out looking for the Governor with Michonne. They flanked Beth as they moved. He always took point and Asha always watched their tail. Even without looking at her, Daryl knew exactly where she was. He could close his eyes and point to her. Sometimes he suspected the habits from those months were the only thing that kept her moving. She hadn't once asked where they were headed and whilst she was mostly alert to their immediate surroundings, she didn't really seem to care where those immediate surroundings were any more.

She hissed suddenly, low and softly. Beth froze. Daryl scanned the trees on his side of the woods, checking they were empty of walkers, before stepping silently to Asha's side. Her eyes were fixed on the ground. She wasn't a tracker, but she was observant, and the pointers she'd prised out of him whilst they were searching for the governor were paying dividends now. She gestured at the bent twigs and crushed leaves leading from the trail they'd been following, glancing at him with narrowed eyes, before he nodded shortly at her, and her face relaxed for an instant.

He gestured for her and Beth to wait as he stepped in to the brush. The trail was fresh. They hadn't had any weather over the last few days, nothing to wash it away, so it was only a day, maybe two old. Thirty or so odd paces down the trail, it opened out into a clearing, the beaten ground bearing the clear marks of a camp fire and several sets of footprints – men's sizes, four or five pairs of them. He circled the area once before looking up at a slight sound as Asha stepped out into the space.

'Told ya ta stay,' he ground out.

She shrugged, eyes on the ground as she followed his tracks in a circuit around the camp site.

'I count five,' she said stopping beside him. Eyes narrowed and lips pressed into a thin line she pointed at a distinctive tread with a cleft from the heel. 'Like I saw in Braysville.'

He grunted. 'Don't say nothin' to Beth.'

She nodded, bottom lip trapped between her teeth, thinking. She hesitated and for an instant he thought this time she was going to say something, but then her face closed over and she started back towards Beth.

He suppressed the acrid swirling in his stomach. They didn't have time for that bullshit anyway. It was all about survival now.

* * *

Asha scanned the lonely stretch of back road, but she watched from the corner of her eye as Beth twisted the key in the car ignition. There was bugger all chance the car was going to start. Doors open, broken window gaping, it looked as though it had been abandoned for an age - and was going to stay that way Asha assumed as she saw Beth's shoulders slump in her periphery.

She turned her attention back to the road as Beth pushed wearily out of the driver seat and started collecting bits of broken rear view mirror. The light was fading fast, the evening well on its way to full dark. Asha stared blankly along the road, at the trees. Nothing moved. The air was still, the way air often is at nightfall when the daytime breeze has faded. Its heaviness matched the heaviness in her bones. She would have slumped down on the asphalt if she wasn't afraid that she'd never be able to get up again.

Asha used to like the quiet of nightfall, but now every twilight was full of all of the twilights that had occurred since the turn, resonating in a long line of locked down memories that she didn't want to face any more.

There was a lot she didn't want to face any more.

Daryl, pacing as he did every day in front of her, was simply the most immediate. She hated herself for what she'd said about Nash, for putting that out there and on him. On reflection she knew she didn't hold Daryl accountable for the fact that she'd given up the search. But in that moment – with everything in her stripped raw and screaming with a pain she had no idea how to deal with – her instinct had been to try to shift some of it elsewhere.

What she'd felt ever since went a long way past regret.

She'd tried to tell him, to apologise, but he'd just narrowed his eyes at her, weighing, and his face had stayed hard and closed over.

She'd thought about trying again, but his face was flat every time he turned in her direction, eyes like ice, and every time she opened her mouth her throat thickened and the words stuck. With each failed attempt, it became harder to try again. She could feel him slipping away - with every harsh look they exchanged, every heavy silence.

She couldn't blame him for rebuffing her apology. Words were cheap and her actions had been Nash-centric to the point of obsession for a while before that. She could see that much now at least.

The distance growing between them hurt, but it was simply one hurt in a sea of many. The pain was dull, beating on the outside of the apathetic shell that was building up like scar tissue around her consciousness. All of her feelings, sensations, herself, seemed somehow blunted. She knew they were there, but they were somehow small, shunted away in a corner. She moved where Daryl directed, following the smallest jerk of his head or wave of his hand. She watched their trail, and for other trails, but beyond that, she was finding it hard to focus on anything.

God she was tired. Her body ached from sleeping on the ground and her hunger was a constant gnawing in her belly.

At times, night usually whilst she lay in the dark, too crippled by fear of her dreams to sleep, she wondered why she carried on. More than once she considered slipping away into the darkness beneath the trees, but then she would find her eyes on Daryl, tracing his barely discernible outline where he kept watch, and instead she would get up and relieve him. She didn't think about what stopped her too hard. Thinking led to feeling, and feeling she was pretty sure led to madness for her at the moment. It was better just to keep everything shut down.

Daryl suddenly loped from darkness between the trees on the side of the road.

'We got company,' he said bluntly. 'Close. The dead. A lot of them.'

Asha saw the tremor run through Beth and had to admit she felt the same at the prospect of spending half the night on the run.

She passed a hand wearily over her face.

Run or die.

'Here,' Daryl said, gesturing at the open boot. It yawned cavernously and Asha stared at it blankly, not realising what Daryl meant until Beth clambered in.

'We'll fit,' she said, face pale in the darkness.

The car was an old style sedan, huge. It could easily fit two people, but it would be tight for three.

Asha jerked as if electrocuted, feeling the flesh seize and crawl across her back and run in shivers down the backs of her legs.

'We can outrun them,' she said shaking her head.

'Until we can't,' Daryl growled, 'and we got no idea where we're runnin' in the dark.'

Asha took a step backwards, eyes fixed on the blackness in the boot.

'We'll be trapped.'

Beth was watching her wide eyed.

Daryl stepped towards her, crossbow swinging.

'We ain't got it in us to spend half the night running.'

Asha's blood thumped in her ears and the skin rippled across her body. Her voice dropped.

'I can't get in there,' she admitted.

Daryl's eyes sharpened and he suddenly swung his crossbow up and fired over her shoulder. Asha flinched, glancing back at the walker pitching forwards with the bolt between its eyes. Behind it, the shadows under the trees started to seethe.

'Ya gotta,' Daryl growled.

Asha nodded jerkily. They were out of options - but her feet were to the ground rooted to the ground, and Daryl had to grab her by the arm and propel her into the trunk.

He climbed in after her, twisting his bandanna around the latch on trunk to hold it near closed without being latched. Their world was suddenly reduced to darkness and the mere inch and a half of night air visible through the gap.

Asha's chest heaved as the space narrowed, breath hissing as it jerked through her.

Daryl glared at her, eyes burning in the darkness.

'Asha,' Beth whispered, reaching out to grip her arm. 'Slow breaths, calm down.' She glanced at the shadows shuffling beyond the crack in the trunk.

They were going to hear her.

Asha cupped both hands over her mouth trying to muffle the noise, fighting to take a full breath.

She closed her eyes.

In the darkness, wedged tight between Daryl and Beth, she was suddenly somewhere else. Somewhere black, with sweaty flesh pressed hard against her and cold twisted metal digging into her back. Her nose was full of the stink of sour breath and blood and something thick and musky - and her ears were full of her own muffled cries.

Her body bucked, rocking the car, and she snapped her eyes open.

Under enough pressure, everyone breaks.

She fed the heel of her palm into her mouth against the urge to scream.

Her body spasmed again and Daryl planted a hand on her shoulder to keep her still. Asha cringed away from his touch and his eyes narrowed into slits.

In the stale cramped quarters the contact was both unbearable and inescapable.

The car rocked as the dead knocked against it. The inch wide sliver of night air was filled with shifting shadows as the dead shuffled past.

Asha tracked their movement with frantic eyes, fixing on them with a desperation that had nothing to do with fear of them getting in.

_Walkers, Asha. This is a car boot, not a rail car._

The flow of dead continued for hours. Asha was sure it was hours. Although it seemed never ending, it eventually began to slow, thinning to a trickle. Pressed between Daryl and Beth, Asha felt some of their tension fade. Beth eased her knife into her other hand and flexed her white knuckled hand. They waited as the stragglers limped passed in the darkness, until only the silence dragged out in the long minutes.

Without the distraction of the dead Asha felt her panic rising again. Her chest started heaving as she sucked air around the heel of her palm still jammed in her mouth. She could feel Beth and Daryl glancing at her, their eyes sliding quickly away.

Asha forced herself to count to a hundred. Then she shifted, and Daryl clamped a hand on her arm.

'Not yet.'

The fresh air easing through the cracked open boot was tantalisingly close. Lips twisted and body shaking she managed another suffocating count to fifty before she lunged forwards, untwisting the cloth around the latch and ignoring Daryl's growling.

Cool night air flooded in as the boot creaked open, and she lurched stiff muscled on to the night dark road. She staggered a handful of paces away from the confines of the car, before sinking to her knees. Keeping a wary eye out for the dead, she sucked in breaths. She could taste blood and looked down to see blood seeping from the sharp indentation of her teeth in her palm. Shaking, she eased her hand to her mouth and sucked the wound gently.

She'd thought she'd blocked all that out – or at least wrestled it into somewhere that she could manage it.

There was a light touch on her shoulder.

'Asha?' Beth asked softly.

She jerked out of reach and staggered a few more paces away.

Any contact was too much just then.

Beth held her hands up. 'Are you ok?'

She nodded fitfully and could see that Beth didn't really believe her.

Daryl was behind her, frowning.

Asha forced her breaths to lengthen and tried to mask the trembling in her limbs.

'What now?' Her voice shook as she looked to Daryl.

Beth looked at him too. Their route was always up to Daryl.

Still frowning, he stepped off the road and yanked the bolt he'd abandoned earlier from the corpse's head. Then he gestured with it down the road, waving them on crosswise to the path of the dead.

Asha let Beth and Daryl get a good handful of paces in front of her before, and then she followed at that distance – knowing she was behaving irrationally but still wielding the space like a barrier. She knew Beth and Daryl noticed, it was written all over their faces when they glanced back at her, but the sun was up for hours before she was able to let the gap close.

* * *

**[A/N: Hope this wasn't too much of a drag to read, but none of them are in a great mental place at the moment. Reviewers, as always you rock! And I love all the new follows and favourites. **

**I know I forgot to have Asha notice the distinctive tread when she was in Braysville (oops) - something to add on the rewrite.]**


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N: A little short one. But the next one will be longer and up soon.**

* * *

Daryl retraced his steps through the woods to their camp, or what counted as their camp. The bare earth clearing and worn tarp strung close to the ground scarce warranted the name. Beth was carefully feeding twigs into a small fire dug into the soil, a couple of tins of water sitting to the side ready to be boiled. Asha was sitting slightly to the side, hair across her face as she twisted her knife over in her hands, running her fingertips along the blade.

His eyes narrowed. She'd been doing that a lot lately.

He dropped the squirrel he'd caught in her lap as he went past. She might as well be useful since she had the knife out again. She picked up the carcass without looking up and started work silently.

He grimaced at the flash of anger in his belly and retreated to the far side of the camp to skin and clean the rest of his catch, a four foot long snake. He wasn't so much angry at her for her accusation about her brother any more – those words still stung, but in a bitter, aged kind of way – but something about her continued apathetic silence made him furious.

Sometime later, the silence unabated in the interval, the three of them crouched around the remnants of the fire finishing their meal. As Daryl licked the snake juice from his fingers Beth suddenly threw the last of her squirrel bones into the dirt.

'I need a drink,' she said.

Without looking up, Daryl tossed her a bottle of recently boiled water. It bounced untouched into the dirt.

'No,' Beth said forcibly. 'I mean a real drink. I've never had one, before because of daddy. But...he's not exactly around any more so...'

Daryl closed his eyes at the mention of the old man.

Asha stayed silent, and Daryl could feel Beth's eyes shifting between them.

'So, this is the plan is it?' she demanded after a minute. 'Go native? Give up on everyone we've ever loved? Are the two of you even in there any more? You're more like zombies that the damn walkers. Don't you feel anything?'

Daryl glanced at her from the corner of his eye. Her lips were twisted in a sneer as she shook her head. 'Yeah, you think everything's fucked, that's a feeling.' Her glare shifted between him and Asha. 'It's only fucked 'cause you two have given up. Why aren't we looking for our people?'

Daryl grunted. Ain't no chance they'd find any of their group, if they'd even survived.

Asha swallowed the last of her snake. 'Because they're scattered in all directions across Georgia, Beth,' she said tonelessly, eyes still on the ground. '_If_ they're even alive. We don't even have anywhere to start looking.'

'We start here!' Beth asserted, throwing her hands in the air. 'What's wrong with you two? You especially Asha, you spent _months_ looking for Nash. You were so single minded, it was like an obsession - and now you just give up on everyone else, without even trying? You found Nash remember.'

Asha jerked visibly at her brother's name and her head snapped up, eyes flashing. 'After we stopped looking for each other,' she hissed. 'Our signs, our plans, it meant nothing. _Nothing_. In the end we found each other by pure chance...' Her voice was harsh as she forced the words out. 'And I found him just to watch him die, Beth. Because of me. Because he wound up being caught between the Governor and us.' Her shoulders collapsed in on themselves and when she continued her voice shook with loss. 'And all the days Nash and I spent tracking Ren...too late. Tell me Beth, what was the damn point of it all?

They were your family,' Beth insisted. 'And you look for family.'

'Why? Just to watch them die?'

'Enough Asha,' Daryl said quietly.

'Why?' she demanded, face twisting as she turned on him. 'How long did you have Merle back before you had to watch him die?'

Daryl snarled instinctively, gut tightening at his brother's name. 'At the damn Governor's hand, who's dead now remember.'

'So?' Asha said bitterly, 'You think this world hasn't turned out hundred just like him. What about Sophia, how long did you _waste_ looking for her.'

Daryl bared his teeth at her.

'Screw the both of you,' Beth snapped. 'I'm gonna go get that drink.' With an angry head toss she stormed away through the branches.

Daryl growled in frustration, getting to his feet. Asha's good hand was clenched whilst her bandaged hand twitched at her side.

'What?' she snapped.

'Ya happy now? She didn't' need ta hear that.'

Asha shrugged, lips pressed into a frown.

'Fuckin idiots,' he muttered under his breath, reaching for his crossbow.

'You got something else to say?' Asha challenged

Once he would have hated her being angry at him. But lately anything was better than the strained silence and apathy he usually received from her. He twisted back towards her, not bothering to fight his anger. 'Nothin'. It's just my damn luck to get stuck with two idiot women who can't see straight past their damn feelings.'

'Fuck off Daryl.' She virtually spat at him.

He scooped up their one remaining semi automatic – the other having been abandoned when it ran out of ammo – and thrust it roughly towards her. 'Good. Stay angry. Ya more damn use to me pissed off than…' He waved his hand vaguely, trying to think of the most insulting way to describe the way she been since the prison. '…Sulking.'

'Sulking?' Her voice went up an octave. 'Sulking!'

'Yeah, sulking.' He hefted the strap of the crossbow on his shoulder. Her face was twisted and her eyes flaming, but it was an improvement on the emptiness that had marked it before. 'Do ya think this is some sort of fuckin' game. I can't fucking carry you and Beth both. Ya gotta pull ya own weight.' He jabbed a finger angrily in her direction. 'Or was Merle wrong about you?'

Asha's back stiffened, a muscle leaping in her throat as her eyes widened before quickly hardening. She spun around and kicked dirt over their small fire and grabbing up her small pack. 'So let's go get Beth.' Her face was white and pinched with anger.

'Nah,' Daryl growled. 'You wait. I'll bring her back.'

Asha shook her head, moving around the camp and collecting a few belongings. 'Don't bother, she'll just take off again. Take it from someone who used to be a teen aged girl – she's gonna do this with or without us, and it'll be on us if she gets hurt. Besides…Beth's not the only one around here who could do with a drink.'

She snatched up the Beth's blanket and glared at him over her shoulder before disappearing into the brush on the younger woman's trail.

Daryl grimaced. He shouldn't be surprised he guessed – he knew the damn woman liked to self medicate. He glanced around their shabby camp, pausing only to gather the two bottles of boiled water and abandoning the rest.

Then he slipped into the woods after the two blonde women.

* * *

'Is it good?' Beth asked, hands wrapped nervously around the bottle of peach schnapps. Asha shrugged, ducking below the bar top in the country golf club they'd raided in pursuit of booze. There was shattered glass and empty bottles as far as she could see. There had to be something better than schnapps, some scotch, tequila...Southern Comfort.

She grasped an empty bottle and hurled it across the empty bar to the shatter against the hard floor. God damn it but Daryl had known exactly how to pull her up short. She bristled again, remembering his narrowed eyes as he suggested Merle had been wrong about her. Asha prided herself on the fact that hard work had never scared her, if she had a task she knew she was best off getting in and getting it done. It was just that for so long her task had been finding her brother. She forgotten about all the other work there was to do.

She hurled another empty wine bottle across the bar, ignoring the crease between Beth's brows and Daryl's glare. Damn Daryl. He was as damn perceptive as his damn brother.

'What do you think Daryl?' Beth asked, hands still twisting at the bottle of schnapps. 'Is it any good?'

'No.' Daryl's voice was flat.

'Well, it's all that's left,' Beth said, opening the bottle. Asha pulled a face as the sickly sweet scent hit her nose from across the bar. God she hated peaches. She was tossing empty bottles aside when the soft sounds Beth was making finally registered. She paused, hand hovering over an empty bottle.

_That isn't right, Beth doesn't cry any more._

Her eyes jerked up. Beth's head was tipped forwards, one hand still gripping the bottle of schnapps as her shoulders shook.

She traded a quick startled with Daryl, and was then moving without conscious thought around the bar.

_Beth doesn't cry._

She hesitated for an instant beside the young woman's shaking shoulders and then reached out, wrapping both arms around her and pulling her in. Beth sagged against her, no longer stifling her sobs. Asha suddenly realised, really realised, that Beth had just lost her father. Throat thickening, Asha felt the echo of her own father's passing in the shaking of Beth's body - and recalled that not only had Beth just witnessed her father's horrific death, she had also - for all intents and purposes - lost her sister too. Asha was swamped with a wave of shame and cursed herself for being a self-centred bitch. Again.

The bottle of schnapps suddenly flashed reflected sunlight in the corner of her eyes as it was hurled to the ground - the sound of shattering glass cutting through Beth's sobs.

'Ya ain't gonna have no peach schnapps for ya first drink' Daryl growled. His lip twitched viciously as Beth looked at him in shock.

Asha narrowed her eyes at him as he twisted away from them.

_What the hell is he talking about?_

There sure as shit wasn't anything else left in the bar.

Broken glass crunched underfoot as Daryl crossed the bar area and pushed open the door to the bar patio area. A walker materialized in the open space and Daryl, knife suddenly in hand, drove the blade through its face. He kicked it roughly out of the way before gesturing roughly with his head through the open door.

Beth glanced at Asha, cheeks tear stained, before looking at the sun drenched overgrown golf course beyond the door. Then she dashed at her cheeks angrily, standing, shoulders squaring in determination. Daryl gave her a small nod of approval as she started towards him.

Asha scrubbed at her eyes with the heels of her hands, a little confused, nose filled with scent of peaches as the schnapps soaked into the carpet. Then she shrugged.

'Why the hell not,' she muttered to herself. She had no idea what Daryl was planning, but whatever it was, it wasn't like it could make less sense than what they were already doing. She scraped up the semi automatic from where she'd dumped it on the bar, and still rubbing tiredly at her temple with her free hand, she followed Daryl and Beth out into the sun.


	42. Chapter 42

'Motorcycle mechanic,' Beth suddenly said out of the blue as they traipsed single file through the woods. The mid afternoon sun slanted through the trees, but the shade cut the heat to something bearable.

Daryl glanced back over his shoulder. 'What?'

'That's my guess for what you used to do before the turn. Did Zach ever guess that one?'

Daryl walked on in silence. 'Ain't matter,' he eventually said. 'Ain't mattered for a long time.'

Beth shrugged, trudging behind him. 'It's just what people talk about. What they used to do, before everything changed.'

Daryl grunted and kept walking.

'What about you Asha,' Beth asked. 'You must have had a guess at what Daryl did?'

Asha smiled a little sadly to herself. 'Nope.'

'Really?'

She shook her head, idly scanning the depressing sameness of trees surrounding them. She could think of two reasons someone wouldn't want to talk about what they used to do – either they were ashamed of it, or they'd never done any one thing long enough to bother claiming it.

Both suited Daryl perfectly.

'Daryl's right,' she answered. 'It doesn't matter any more.'

'You don't miss being a lawyer?' Beth asked.

Asha laughed. 'Occasionally I guess, but to be honest there was a lot about it that I didn't like much in the first place.'

Beth frowned a little to herself and they lapsed into silence.

Asha had a feeling of vague familiarity as they walked through the woods, but she brushed it off. The whole backwoods of Georgia felt familiar these days - familiar, without being distinguishable enough for her to be able to place them as being anywhere in particular.

It wasn't until she saw the shack sunk in the shadows beneath the trees that she realised that these woods were in fact familiar.

She took a few quick steps past Beth, grabbing Daryl by the arm. 'What are we doing here?' she asked, voice low and urgent.

Daryl's eyes narrowed at her before he looked meaningfully at her hand on his arm. She jerked it away.

'There's a still out the back.' He glanced over his shoulder at Beth before giving a tiny shrug. Asha's frowned. 'How do you know? We didn't go inside last time.'

'I know.'

Beth had noticed the dilapidated structure. 'Ah…I was expecting a liquor store?' she said.

'Nah, this is better,' Daryl said, striding away through the dappled shadows towards the shack.

Asha shrugged noncommittally at Beth's enquiring glance.

Daryl had paused on the sagging porch, and he waited until Asha and Beth joined him, weapons in hand, before pounding a fist against the rickety door frame. They waited the requisite long moments before shoving the door open.

If Asha hadn't been looking for it, she probably wouldn't have noticed the way Daryl's jaw rippled before he stepped through the shadowed doorway - as though he'd steeled himself to put his hand in a naked flame.

They went through their usual routine, sweeping the rooms – Daryl with crossbow raised and Asha close at his back. Beth waited at the door, semi automatic in hand, under strict instructions not to use the last of their bullets unless there was no other option - and to think twice about it even then since she'd have as much chance of hitting Daryl and Asha as anything else if they were swarmed.

The shack was clear of the dead. The haphazardly boarded up windows suggested someone had been there at some point since the world had ended, but not for a while though. Asha's nose wrinkled at the sour air. She watched Daryl from the corner of her eye as he hesitated for an instant before kicking open the only internal door in the combined kitchen/dining/living sort of space they were in. She assumed it led to a bedroom. An instant later he strode back past her, out through the kitchen to the small extension built off the back of the shack.

Asha waved Beth in.

'It smells,' the young woman said.

Asha nodded, looking around at the dirty walls and derelict furniture littering the space. 'It does,' she agreed. She dropped her pack on the floor, sighing briefly with relief at relinquishing the weight, and started aimlessly opening the kitchen cupboards. She didn't really expect to find anything, and she wasn't surprised.

Daryl nudged open the back door, arms full of a crate of jars of clear liquid.

His eyes were dark, jaw still tight as he set the crate on the lone rickety table. The tension rolled off him in palpable waves and Asha watched him carefully, wondering if Beth noticed it – hell, if Daryl even noticed it.

Beth's gaze was locked on the crate. 'What's that?'

'Moonshine,' Daryl grunted.

Her eyes, hooked like a fish on a line, followed Daryl's hands as he lifted a jar and unscrewed the lid. Asha's eyes smarted at the alcoholic reek that filled the air. She had a sudden urge to drink the entire crate and sink the world into oblivion.

Beth rather tentatively approached the edge of the table.

Daryl sloshed some of the clear liquid into an empty jar. 'That's a real first drink right there,' he said in his gravelly voice, looking pleased with himself as he pushed it in with a finger in Beth's direction.

He glanced at Asha, asking, as he lifted the jar microscopically. She nodded, a tiny inclination of her head, and he poured a measure of the moonshine into a second jar.

Beth lifted her jar cautiously, nose wrinkling at the smell.

'What's the matter?' Daryl asked, when after a moment she still hadn't moved.

'Nothing,' Beth said. 'It's just my dad always said bad moonshine can make you go blind.'

'Ain't nothin' worth seeing out there anyway.'

Beth hesitated still, jar still lifted to her nose.

'Hold on a sec,' Asha said. She dug around in the kitchen until she found a spoon, slopping a little moonshine on it from her own jar and cleaning it on her shirt as best she could. Then she wrapped the end of the spoon in her shirt and swirled it around in her jar, catching up a bit of the clear liquor.

She held a hand out to Daryl. 'Lighter.'

He set it in her hand. 'Ya be fuckin' careful with that,' he said seriously.

Asha arched both her brows, but she backed away from the crate and open jars before sparking the lighter and quickly touching the flame to the spoon. A sudden blue flame licked across the concave metal surface. Asha watched it closely, but the flame stayed a clean blue, untainted by the red or sickly yellow shades she was looking for. It burnt brightly for a few moments, before shrinking away to nothing. Asha dropped the warm spoon on the ground, shaking out the end of her shirt.

'Well, at least we won't get lead or fuel poisoning,' she said.

She handed Daryl back his lighter and picked up her jar swirling the liquor around. 'Of course, that doesn't tell us anything about whether there's methanol in it.'

She lifted the jar to her nose but couldn't smell anything beyond the alcoholic burn, so she shrugged and swallowed, careful to keep her mouthful small and her face blank – she didn't want to ruin the surprise for Beth.

The young blonde watched her, and when she put down the jar and smiled, Beth picked up her own jar and tilted it somewhat tremulously to her lips and swallowed. Then she set it back on the table, face twisting.

'That's the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted,' she declared.

Asha grinned, and the corner of Daryl's mouth lifted a mere fraction.

'Ya ain't drink it for the taste,' he grunted.

Asha lifted her own jar again, this time not bothering to hide the grimace as the liquid seared down her throat.

'How'd ya know about the trick with the flame?' Daryl asked.

She swirled her jar, watching the liquor spin. 'You don't bartend in a dingy bar in the south without overhearing a whole lotta conversations about moonshine - drinking moonshine, making moonshine, testing moonshine. Figured it was worth a try.' She raised her brows at him. 'How'd you know about the still?'

Daryl looked around, the distaste clear on his face. 'My dad had a place just like this, still and all.' He looked back at her. 'I could'a told ya there weren't no lead in it. Still's clean. No car parts.'

Asha rolled her eyes, 'Well you could have said.' She considered him speculatively. 'You know how to make this stuff?'

'Somethin' like it.'

'Hmmm.' She made a noncommittal sound, storing that piece of information away for later.

Beth had continued drinking whilst they spoke, and she took another gulp setting down the near empty jar. 'It gets better,' she said, reaching for an empty jar and pouring another slug.

'Yeah, well, slow down,' Daryl grumbled.

'This one's for you,' Beth said smiling and holding out the jar.

'Nah, I'm good.' Daryl turned away from the unsteady table to look out one of the windows.

'Why?'

'Someone's gotta keep watch.'

'So what, you're like my chaperone now?'

'No-one's suggesting we drink ourselves into oblivion,' Asha said – tempting as the idea might be. Then she grinned at Beth. 'Of course Bethy, I won't consider that you've been properly introduced to drinking until you've vomitted and passed out in the corner.' She took another swig from her jar.

'Ewww,' Beth said, screwing up her face.

Daryl was still frowning at them. Beth waggled the jar at him. 'Come on Daryl.'

'Nah, ya got Asha to drink with.'

'So you're like both our chaperone now?' Asha asked, raising her brows and feeling a momentary irritation at the criticism implicit in the suggestion they needed watching.

'Just, drink lots of water,' Daryl snapped, stomping through the kitchen to keep watch out the back door.

'Yes Mr Dixon,' Beth said, turning on her heel with twisted lips. She slumped against the far wall, sullenly lifting her jar again.

Her petulant attitude and bowed blonde head suddenly reminded Asha so much of Ren when she didn't get her own way that she shivered. She abruptly needed to get out of the shack and away from Beth and Daryl.

She put her partially depleted jar next to Daryl's untouched one. 'Actually water's a good point. There's a stream only about few minutes out that way right?' She pointed past Daryl out the back door and he nodded stiffly.

Asha rummaged through her pack, pulling out a few empty water bottles and depositing a half full one on the table. 'I'm gonna go fill these up.'

'I'll go,' Daryl said.

'No.' Asha glanced over at Beth. 'You're on chaperone duty remember.'

Daryl gave her a flat look – and Beth frowned at her – but neither of them tried to stop her as she headed out the door.

* * *

Fifteen minutes or so later, she screwed the top on the last filled bottle. The stream was small, only a foot or so deep at most, and even then only in a few spots. It gurgled gently, the water clear where it ran rapidly over the rocks. Asha dropped the last bottle beside her on the rocky bank and watched the shifting light on the water's surface. She scooped a handful of water, sluicing it across her face and the back of her neck, the liquid delightfully cool where it dribbled between her shoulder blades.

The bandage wrapped around her injured left hand was filthy, and she stripped it off, scrubbing the crustiness away in the water. At least they had enough water for her to boil up the bandages to sterilise them before rewrapping it.

Her brow furrowed as she looked at the puckered ridge across the back of her hand. Surely those stitches needed to come out by now? She wasn't even sure how long it had been since they'd fled the prison. Couldn't be more than two weeks surely? Still she didn't think stitches were supposed to stay in that long. She gingerly clenched her hand into an almost fist, feeling the tightness pull across the back of her hand. God knew where she was going to find something to pry the stiches out with.

Sighing, she held both hands palm down against the surface of the water, letting the motion caress her skin. The sensation calmed her, and as she stared blankly at the shifting liquid tickling her skin, she slowly relaxed in a way she hadn't since before meeting Seth. She couldn't say how long she sat there, the sounds of the water and woods washing over her, even as part of her brain stayed alert to the risk of approaching walkers. She suddenly recalled the day she's spent at the river fishing with Daryl. The memory filled her, glowing against the otherwise dark smear of her memories since the turn. She savoured it, before smiling sadly as she wondered if Crookshanks had managed to survive the raid on the prison.

'Course he did,' Merle drawled from the other side of the creek. 'Damn cat's a survivor.' Asha jerked, heart pounding painfully as she looked at her grizzled friend, smirking as he lounged against a tree.

'Hello Merle.'

'Hello girly.' The silvery haired man pulled a ready rolled joint from his pocket and lit it, sucking in a deep breath and blowing out a long stream of smoke. 'So, decided whether or not ya gonna roll over and give up?'

'I'm reserving my right to make that decision later.' Asha half snorted and scrubbed wearily at her eyes. 'It's tempting sometimes Merle, more tempting than it should be.'

She was a little ashamed to admit it.

Merle snorted derisively. 'Gotta tell ya girly, never thought wallowing in self-pity was ya style.'

Asha's back stiffened. 'That's not fair,' she snapped. 'Don't I even get a chance to grieve?'

'Is that's what it's called? Sure it ain't just sulking?'

'It's only been two weeks! Three maybe…At most'

'Ya want a tissue whilst you cry about it, sweetheart,' he sneered. 'Bah. A few weeks is a lifetime these days.' His eyes hardened. 'The world ain't ever owed you shit Asha. Never has, never will – and girly, you can be damn sure this new world is gonna keep dealing up trouble and pain for you. You gonna lose ya shit every time things don't go your way? Ya ain't no good to anyone in the state ya been in.'

Asha glared across the water at Merle – his eyes somehow still blue and piercing despite being bloodshot. He sucked in another long drag and exhaled across the water. Asha could have sworn she felt the smoke tickle her face.

'Fuck you, Merle,' she said quietly, bitterly, hating that he made sense – though of course he would make sense to her.

'If only we could baby doll,' Merle leered. 'But I don't reckon my baby brother'd be thrilled about us bumpin' uglies now.'

Asha felt her face go pink, but then her shoulders slumped and she suddenly wanted to cry. 'I don't think he'd care anymore,' she whispered.

Merle suddenly laughed uproariously. 'Then you ain't know him at all baby girl.'

'I really fucked up Merle. He thinks I blame him for Nash and I don't know if anything I ever do will be able to take that weight back off him. I've tried to talk to him, but he just shut me out.'

Merle snorted. 'What? Were ya expectin' my brother to act like a well adjusted individual? Talk about his feelings and shit?'

She frowned. Not exactly of course, she wasn't an idiot.

'Ya gave up to easily girly. My brother's got a head like a piece of wood. Sometimes ya gotta beat on it a while for anything to sink in.'

Asha stared, a little nonplussed, and Merle stared back, grinning like she was the idiot she was starting to feel like. She'd known she'd have to be the one to bridge the gap between her and Daryl. Why hadn't she pushed it harder?

'What's this about you and his brother?' Asha shivered as Nash's rough twang rippled across the water. He brother strolled out between the trees and plucked the joint from Merle's hand, taking a drag before turning to face her. Heart aching, Asha rubbed the suddenly streaming tears from her cheeks, trying to clear her vision so she could drink in the familiar lines of her brother's face.

'Bloody hell Ash,' Nash drawled. 'You're a damn mess. Is this really the best you can manage?'

'Oh, I'm sorry,' she snapped facetiously, half snorting as she choked on her tears. 'Did you just watch the back of my head get blown out?'

Nash touched the back of his head and for an instant, when his hand came, away his fingers were flecked red and brown there was a dark hole in the centre of his forehead – but then he waggled his fingers and it was gone.

'Yeah, well, that wasn't exactly my idea.' He shrugged and inhaled another lungful before handing the smouldering joint back to Merle. 'But shit happens sister dear.'

She looked into his clear green eyes, and swallowed hard.

'Doesn't it just.'

The three of them stared at each other for a moment.

'So,' her brother continued casually. 'Just about done with your sulking fit?'

'Why are you both picking on me?' She felt surprisingly injured.

'Dunno Ash. You tell me.'

She looked down at the water, gurgling peacefully and sparking gently with refracted sunlight. She deserved it, she knew. Even she was sick of the person she'd become lately. Didn't make it any easier though.

'Is it so bad just to want it all to go away sometimes?' she said softly, without lifting her gaze.

'Nah,' Nash murmured just as softly. 'But that isn't the answer. Once everything's gone, it's gone. It isn't better or worse. It's just nothing.'

Asha sighed, still looking at the shifting water.

'Besides,' her brother's voice was still quiet, but it had acquired a note of iron. 'Didn't you learn anything when you tried your own style of oblivion after dad died.'

She flinched, looking up. Merle was looking away into the trees, affording them some semblance of privacy. Nash's eyes were hard, hard as her own as she glared resentfully back. Not the proudest period of her life, but at the time she'd sought solace at the bottom of a bottle and fairly indiscriminately in male company. She felt ashamed all over again at the state Nash had found her in, and the much needed tough love he'd given her at the time.

'I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told you then,' Nash said quietly when she continued to stare at him in silence. 'You can be a victim of the things that happen in your life, or you can accept that even though you can't always control what happens to you, you're the only one who has control over how you react to it. You're better than this Ash. You survived that rail car. This…' he spread his arms wide. 'This is a walk in a park – if you just pull your head out of your arse.'

'Not a walk in the park,' she whispered.

'Well…maybe not. But you can still do it.'

She closed her eyes. For a moment she saw a pile of fish beside a sun kissed river and Daryl stretched out in the shade under a tree. Some of the tightness in her chest slowly loosened even though the heaviness didn't go away. When she opened them, Nash's green eyes and Merle's bloodshot blue ones were boring into her.

'Ok,' she said, rolling her shoulders and lifting her hands in surrender.

'Ok?' Nash said.

'I can't fight both of you.'

She was suddenly faced with matching smirks.

'You always were the smart one,' Nash said condescendingly.

Asha rolled her eyes, looking at the duplicate grins across the water. 'Yeah, well, I wouldn't be to too sure about that since I'm talking to my own hallucinations. But since you two are dead I guess that still makes you bigger idiots than me.'

'Harsh,' Nash grinned.

'Can she call us that?' Merle asked, stubbing out the last of the joint 'That ain't nice. What about respecting the dead and all that?'

'She's called me worse.'

'Ha, me too. Much worse. Besides, you are an idiot for taking that bet.'

'I'm her damn brother. Course I bet she'd see me first. Actually, I gotta tell ya Ash i'm a bit disappointed in you.' Nash gestured with a thumb towards Merle. 'Can't believe you wanted to see his ugly face before mine.'

'Shut up pretty boy,' Merle smirked.

'Of course I saw him first,' Asha whispered through her suddenly constricted throat. She waved at the empty space between her and her brother. 'You think this is easy for me.'

Some part of her had needed to see him, and needed his lecture. She stared at him, wondering if the details of his face would always stay locked as clearly in her memory as they were now.

'Come on,' Merle said scratching an armpit. 'Ya owe me a beer on account of that little bet, and she's got somewhere she needs to be.' Merle raised his brows at Asha, trademark half grin half leer settling on his face at. 'Ya take proper care of that little brother of mine girly.'

Asha nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat. Nash lifted a hand in a silent farewell, lingering at the water's edge until Merle shoved him in the shoulder, starting them in the direction of the trees. Their banter drifted back between the branches before fading away altogether after a minute.

In the quiet that followed she suddenly realised Merle was right about her having somewhere else to be. She heard voices – angry raised voices – muted by the trees and the distance, but definitely coming from the shack.

Scooping up the bottles and bandages she raced back towards building.


	43. Chapter 43

**[A/N: It's been a while I know. Thanks for sticking with me!]**

* * *

Arms full of bottles and bandages, Asha stumbled to a stop where the trees thinned by the dilapidated shack. Her jaw dropped in shock.

A snarling walker, pinned to a tree by several cross bow bolts, clawed towards Daryl and Beth. Daryl held the struggling girl in one rough arm, crossbow dropped over her shoulder, bolt pointed at the thrashing cadaver. As Asha watched, Beth gave a violent twist and lurched out of Daryl's grip. She crossed the distance to the walker in quick steps and it deflated against the tree as she drove her knife into its skull.

'What d'ya do that for?' Daryl demanded, southern accent thicker than usual. 'We was havin' fun.'

'No,' Beth yelled. 'You were being a jackass. If anyone found my father-'

'Don't,' Daryl snapped. 'That ain't even remotely the same.'

'Killing them ain't supposed to be fun,' Beth spat.

'What the hell are you two doing?' Asha hissed. 'Do you have any idea how much noise you're making?'

Beth glanced at her, a flicker of embarrassment crossing her face. Daryl simply snarled.

'What? Ya gonna be the responsible one now? Ya ain't given a shit about anyone but yourself for the last few weeks.'

Asha flinched, but he wasn't wrong.

'Jesus Daryl,' Beth protested.

'What? She ain't. I've been doing this on my damn own since we lost the prison.' He threw his arms in the air. 'What the hell more do ya want from me?'

'Nothing,' Asha whispered, but she didn't think her heard her over Beth.

The young woman jabbed an angry finger in his face. 'I want you to stop acting like you don't give a crap about anything, like nothing we went through matters, like none of the people we lost meant anything to you. It's bullshit. And you,' she turned on Asha. 'I want you to stop acting like the world ended when your damn brother died. You ain't the only one whose lost someone. We've gotta focus on the people who are here!

Asha jerked again, suddenly feeling lightheaded.

Daryl was staring at Beth in shock. 'Is that what you think?'

'It's what I know, Beth said, chin jutting out stubbornly.

'Ya don't know nothin'.'

'I know you look at me and you just see another dead girl.' She shifted to glare at Asha, including her in her tirade. 'You both do. I'm not Michonne or Maggie. I'm not you Asha. But I survived, I'm still here and you don't get it, because I'm not like you or them and you don't get it. But you don't get to treat me like crap because you're...afraid' She tossed her hands upwards. 'And you don't get to baby me because you think I can't take care of myself.'

Asha reached a hand out. 'Beth, that never what I meant-'

'I ain't afraid of nothin'' Daryl snarled over her, still pacing.

Beth glared at him. 'I remember,' she said quietly. 'When that little girl came out of that barn, after my mom.'

Daryl stepped back, face pained.

'You were like me,' Beth continued relentlessly. 'And now God forbid you ever let anyone get too close.' Her eyes flickered, ever so quickly, towards Asha.

'Too close huh…' Daryl snarled. 'You know all about that. Ya lost two boyfriends and ya can't even shed a tear. Ya whole family's gone, and all ya can do is go out looking for some hooch like some dumb college bitch. And you were damn quick to jump on that bandwagon.' The last was directed at Asha.

Asha stared at him, unable to defend herself.

'Screw you, you don't get it.' Beth spat.

'No, you don't get it. Everyone we know is dead.' Daryl's words, hurled angrily into the air, hung there heavily.

'You don't know that, Beth said wide eyed.

'Well they might as well be, cause you ain't never gonna see them again.'

Beth sucked in a sudden shaky breath

Daryl continued ruthlessly. 'You ain't never gonna see Maggie again.' He glared at Asha. 'Or Michonne.'

'You believe she's dead less than I do,' Asha said flatly. Of all of them, except Daryl perhaps, Michonne was capable of surviving on her own.

'Don't mean we'll ever find her...or Rick-' He broke off suddenly, twisting away.

'Daryl, just stop,' Beth said reaching out a hand.

'Nah,' he twisted out her reach. 'The Governor rode right up to our gates. Maybe…' his voice cracked. 'Maybe if I hadn't stopped looking, maybe because I gave up, that's on me.'

Asha's chest suddenly swelled and she stared at him incredulously. The idea that he'd blame himself for the Governor was so ludicrous that it had never occurred to her that he was carrying that around.

And she'd piled Nash on top of that.

'Daryl,' Beth reached for him again but he shook her off, back turned to both of them and shoulders slumped.

'And ya dad,' he said brokenly. 'Maybe I coulda done something... Maybe it woulda even changed things with Nash.'

Beth suddenly launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around him from behind as his body shook. Asha watched for a moment as Beth tried to lend him the comfort of her arms – feeling physically ill with guilt and shame.

Beth's wide eyes locked with hers across Daryl's back, silently appealing for help.

Asha took a steadying breath and moved in front of Daryl, lifting her hands to either side of his face where it hung heavy on his neck.

'You know it wouldn't have made any difference,' she said softly. 'If you'd kept searching for the Governor. There was no trail. You couldn't have done anything that Michonne and I weren't doing, and we were mostly wasting our time.' She lifted his face to meet hers. 'It's not on you.'

His eyes slid away, but she tightened her grip on him.

'None of it. Not the prison, the Governor, Hershel, Nash. It's not on you. Phillip was a fucked up piece of shit and everything that happened is solely on him.' She pulled his jaw gently until his eyes met hers. 'The only thing that's on you is that the prison survived so long in the first place. Don't,' she whispered, seeing the argument building in his eyes. 'I know there was a Council and Rick, but most of it Daryl, for a long time most of it was you. We all knew that.'

'She's right,' Beth murmured behind him.

She didn't expect him to answer, she was just relieved he hadn't broken away from them. She let his head hang again, moving in so that it rested against her shoulder. She slipped an arm around his waist and reached the other around to grip Beth, and for long minutes they stayed like that, wrapped in their own stillness and the comfort of each other.

* * *

Later, the three of them sat on the sagging porch, legs outstretched in the night air. The air was cleaner outside the mouldy shack, and the half a dozen empty jars of moonshine that sat beside them suggested they would benefit from that fresh air.

Asha gently flexed and stretched her left hand. The puckered skin still pulled, but she was relieved Beth had been able to pull the stitches out with a pair of nail scissors they'd found in the shack. She tried not to think about how rusty the blades had been.

'Still hurtin'?' Daryl asked, watching her.

'Nah,' she said, dropping her hand to her lap. 'Just stings a bit from the moonshine.'

To be honest, her wrist ached a little from where she'd near wrenched it out of Daryl's grasp when he poured the liquor over her hand. She was pretty sure she'd have a ring of blue bruises to show for it tomorrow.

'Better than gettin' infected.'

She nodded. Judging from the way it had burnt the liquor had been strong enough to kill just about anything.

'I get why my dad stopped drinking,' Beth said, head tipped back against the timber railing.

'Feeling sick?' Daryl asked, eyes narrowed.

'No.' She gave Asha a hard look. 'I did that once already. I wish I could feel like this all the time.' She smiled and gave a half shake of her head. 'That's bad.'

'Ya lucky you're a happy drunk,' Daryl muttered.

'Yeah, I'm happy.' Beth raised both brows at Daryl. 'Some people can be real jerks when they drink.'

Daryl focused on the knife he was using to pick away bits of rotten wood from the railing. Then he half shrugged.

'Yeah, I'm a dick when I'm drunk.'

'Some of us are dicks when we're not drunk,' Asha murmured.

Daryl's eyes met hers briefly before sliding away. He went back to digging at the wood with his knife, and when he spoke his voice was almost hesitant.

'Merle had this dealer, skinny white guy, real tweaker. One day we over at his house watching TV. Wasn't even noon yet, we were all wasted, Merle was high.'

Asha listened silently and still, afraid of breaking the spell of Daryl actually talking about his past.

'We were watching this show. Merle was talking all this dumb stuff about it, wouldn't let up.' He half shook his head. 'Merle never could. Turns out it was the tweaker's kid's favourite show, and he never sees his kid. Guess he felt guilty or somethin'. So he punches Merle in the face. So I started hitting the tweaker. Hard, hard as I can. So he pulls his gun, sticks it right here,' Daryl gestured to his temple. 'Says "I'm gonna kill you bitch." So Merle pulls his gun on him. We're all yelling. I'm yelling.' He shook his head disgustedly. 'Thought I was dead – over a dumb cartoon about a talking dog.'

'How'd ya get out of it?' Beth asked wide eyed.

'Tweaker punched me in the gut, I puked. They both started laughin', forgot all about it.'

'Shit Daryl,' Asha said softly. 'How old were you?'

He shrugged. 'Twelve, thirteen maybe.'

He glanced at both of them before looking back at his knife. He was still flicking bits of the wooden railing away.

'Ya wanna know where I was before all this? I was just driftin' around with Merle, doing whatever he said we were gonna be doing that day.' His eyes were hooded in the dark, and his voice quiet. 'I was nobody. Nothing. Just some redneck asshole, with an even bigger asshole for a brother. Don't,' he said, looking at Asha who had stiffened at his words. 'He was, we both were. Merle ain't ever done a thing in his life that wasn't just about benefiting Merle.'

'Well he wasn't just an ass and neither are you,' she snapped.

Daryl glared at her and she glared back.

'You miss him don't you?' Beth asked softly

Daryl didn't answer.

'I miss him,' Asha admitted. 'I miss him and I miss my brother. For two completely different people they both had a way of make me believe it was possible to survive in this world.' Her throat tightened and she tilted her head away to look at the night.

'Ya reckon they would have got along?' Daryl asked.

Asha thought about her creek side hallucination and wondered how much of it was self gratifying wish fulfilment. 'If they met now in this world, yeah I reckon.'

Daryl snorted. 'Merle didn't get along with anyone in the old world, unless he was using 'em for something. Even I didn't like him half the time.'

Asha snorted softly as her eyes brushed briefly against Daryl's, and she took a gulp from her jar to swallow the lump in her throat.

'I miss Maggie,' Beth said quietly. 'I miss her bossing me around. I miss my big brother Shawn. He was so annoying and overprotective.' Beth smiled sadly before continuing. 'And my dad. I thought...I hoped he'd just live the rest of his life in peace y' know? I thought Glenn and Maggie would have a baby, he'd get to be a grandpa. We'd have birthdays and holidays and summer picnics.'

Asha's eyes filled with tears at the simple picture painted by Beth's words. That's what Hershel had deserved – what they'd all deserved – and for an instant Asha let herself really feel how much she missed their group.

'He'd get really old,' Beth said. 'And it would happen, but it would be quiet. He'd be surrounded by people he loved. It would be ok.' There was a long pause and then she gave a broken half laugh, eyes shining with unshed tears. 'That's how unbelievably stupid I am.' She picked up her jar and took a gulp.

'That's how it's supposed to be,' Daryl said softly.

Beth looked up at the night sky. 'I wish I could just…change.'

'You did,' Daryl answered.

'Not enough, not like you – either of you.'

Daryl grunted. 'I'm just used to things being ugly, growing up in a place like this.'

'You got away from it.'

Daryl snorted. 'Not really, took everything turning to shit before I realised that this,' he glanced around at the shack, 'this ain't everything. Or at least it ain't gotta be.'

His eyes locked with Asha, just for an instant, before sliding away.

'Sometimes I think I've changed more than I wanted to,' Asha murmured under her breath. She didn't think either Beth or Daryl heard her.

'I'll be gone someday,' Beth said softly, looking out into the darkness.

'Stop.' Daryl said

'Jesus Beth,' Asha protested. 'That's a bit bloody maudlin. You've made it this far.'

'I've had a lot of help.'

Asha shook her head. 'You're stronger than you think Beth. None of us really know what we can do until we have to do it.'

That went for the good and the bad.

'Maybe,' Beth said, clearly not convinced. 'But I'm never going to be like you, and Daryl's gonna be the last man standing. You are,' she insisted at the startled look on his face. 'It's like you were made for this world.'

Asha shivered. She suddenly had an image of Daryl alone in this world, having watched everyone he'd ever known or cared about die – and she was suddenly heart broken and scared for the person he'd become if that happened.

Beth smiled. 'You two are gonna miss me so bad when I'm gone.'

Asha choked on her mouthful of moonshine. 'The whole world will miss you when you're gone Bethy, but that's not gonna be anytime soon'

'Yeah,' Daryl growled disgustedly, 'ya ain't a happy drunk at all.'

'I'm happy,' Beth said. 'I'm just not blind.'

She swirled the last of her moonshine around her jar, swallowed it, and focused on Daryl.

'You gotta stay who you are,' she said seriously. 'Not who you were. Places like this, you've got to put it away.'

'What if ya can't.'

Asha looked at him in confusion. 'You already are. You have been for ages.'

Daryl blinked at her a couple of times, and after a moment her face flushed and she looked down at her hands.

'Well…' Beth said as the moment of quiet dragged on. 'I think I'm gonna turn in.' She yawned a little obviously.

'Guess we should all turn in soon,' Asha agreed.

'No no,' Beth said quickly, getting to her feet a little unsteadily. 'You two stay out here and talk. It's good that you're talking again.' Beth was trying hard to bite down on smile, but in her inebriated state she was rather spectacularly failing to hide it.

'What are you on about Beth?'

'Oh come on,' Beth said, grin breaking through. 'Everyone was watching what was going on between the two of you back at the prison. It was beautiful.'

Asha's eyes widened. She'd known Michonne had known, and maybe Rick - although it was hard to tell exactly what he was paying attention to sometimes. But the whole prison? She shifted a little uncomfortably.

Daryl's brows drew down. 'Weren't none of their damn business.'

'Still isn't,' Asha said pointedly to Beth.

'Whatever,' Beth shrugged. 'We may be all each other have left and I am sick of watching you two give each other the silent treatment. So I am going to bed and you two are gonna stay out here and stop acting like idiots and talk.' She wobbled a little as she pushed open the door into the shack.

'Girl thinks everything's a damn romance novel,' Daryl grumbled.

'Guess we shouldn't be surprised people were talking,' Asha sighed. 'What did you tell me once about there not being a tv anymore?'

Daryl snorted.

They locked eyes for an instant and both quickly looked away. The silence quickly lengthened into awkwardness.

Asha suddenly remembered her conversation with Rick about leaving things unsaid –although she probably had even less idea now about what she wanted to say. She rubbed tiredly at her forehead. It would be awkward as all hell maybe, but could it really be worse than things already were?

'I said talk,' Beth called from inside.

Asha swiped both hands down past the corners of her mouth. 'I don't know how many more times I can apologize about what I said about Nash, Daryl. But I meant every word I said earlier, none of what's happened is on you.' The words sounded inadequate even to herself. 'If I'd still thought he was alive, nothing would have stopped me looking for him.'

'Seth said he killed him,' Daryl's voice was quiet. 'He had no reason to lie.'

'I know,' Asha said softly. 'I know it woulda been stupid of me to keep looking after Seth. Maybe he was crazy enough to think he did kill Nash.' Her voice dipped even lower. 'But I'm the one that gave him up.' Her voice was hollow. 'I did the one thing I promised never to do, I gave him up before I knew for sure. That's on me.'

Her head hung, but although her grief swamped her, for a change it didn't feel like it was crushing the life out of her.

'I couldn't watch ya chase a ghost anymore.' Daryl barely breathed the words, and for a minute Asha wasn't sure she'd heard them.

Her eyes widened, and then after a moment she swallowed hard. 'When the outbreak happened, nothing mattered except family. And after Ren, Nash was all I had. But I guess Beth was right about me being obsessed. I couldn't see past that to see what I was doing to my new family.'

Daryl watched her silently, eyes dark, and she hoped he understood that that was as close as she could come to apologising for the selfish way she'd gone about looking for her brother. Apologising for the fact of looking for her Nash was something she just didn't have in her. That train of thought reminded her of something. 'Beth's right you know,' she added. We look for family.'

His brows lifted sharply. 'Where?'

Asha looked at him helplessly. 'Couldn't we go back to the prison and try to pick up a trail there?'

Daryl looked at her strangely. 'We did. The day after leaving. I left you and Beth at that house and circled back after the fires had died down and the dead weren't still being drawn in. Between the Governor's people, ours and the dead, the land was like soup. Couldn't get nothin' from it.'

'Oh.' Asha dropped her eyes. She didn't remember that happening at all.

'I'm sorry for the way I've been since…' She waved a hand vaguely.

Daryl grunted. The sound was noncommittal, but the look he gave her was positively friendly compared to way they'd been glaring at each other recently.

Asha figured it was the best she was going to get - probably the best she deserved if she was being honest with herself.

'I'm done sulking if you are,' she said quietly.

'I ain't been sulking,' he growled.

Her lips quirked a little. 'If I was, you were.'

He sighed and grumbled. 'Yeah, well I guess neither of us have been a bundle of laughs.'

'You've both been total asses,' Beth slurred from inside.

Asha laughed. 'I think Beth may be a little drunk,' she whispered conspiratorially to Daryl.

'She's being damn nosy,' he grumbled.

'You might as well come back out here Beth,' Asha called. 'Least that way we'll remember you're listening.'

Daryl grunted, glancing sourly at the doorway. 'Guess we should go in soon anyway.'

Tightness rippled across his jaw again.

'We shouldn't have stayed here,' Asha said quietly, lifting the last of her moonshine to her lips.

He shrugged. It wasn't like they'd had much choice.

'We should burn it down,' Beth said. She stood in the doorway, eyes bright and wearing a lopsided grin.

Asha choked a little on her mouth of moonshine, but Daryl was watching her seriously. Beth lifted the jar of moonshine in her hand sloshing the liquid around suggestively, her grin growing as it shifted between Daryl and Asha.

Asha felt the corner of her mouth lift in response. She could think of a dozen logical reasons not to burn down their shelter for the night, but Daryl's eyes gleamed as he climbed to his feet and suddenly none of them seemed that important. He took the jar of moonshine from Beth and tossed back a mouthful as he looked around at the filthy stinking structure.

'We're gonna need more booze,' he said.

Beth's grin widened and Asha laughed.

Half an hour or so later, they stood outside the shack, watching the flames lick along the unsteady timbers and feeling the heat of the growing inferno against their faces. Asha still felt a little unsteady on her feet, but considering the strength of the shine quite frankly she was impressed with her self restraint. She glanced at Daryl. He of course looked unaffected by the alcohol, except perhaps that his eyes were a little too bright, but that could have just been reflected firelight. He stared at the blaze, face unreadable, but it was unmarked by the tension that had charterised it since they'd fist caught sight of the building. On the other side of him, Beth was swaying alarmingly and humming to herself as she gave the burning house the finger.

He must have felt her gaze, and he looked over, and Asha shivered as she realised that for the first time in a long time they were looking at each other without any hostility or tension. She gave a small smile.

The corner of Daryl's mouth lifted and he reached over and tugged the last jar of moonshine from where it was cradled in Asha's hands. Asha narrowed her eyes, but gave it up. In a swift movement, he hurled it into the blaze, flames suddenly surging as the glass shattered.

'I was gonna drink that,' she said arching a brow.

'I know,' he answered, eyes gleaming at her with reflected firelight.

After a moment Asha nodded.

They watched a moment longer, until the shadows shifted with more than dancing firelight and the crackle of the fire was undercut with the moans of the dead.

Daryl grunted, nudging Beth in the shoulder and gesturing with his head into the darkness. But there was a small smile on his lips as they turned away - and as Asha heard the timbers of collapsing into burning oblivion behind her, she felt one tug her own lips in response.


	44. Chapter 44

**[A/N: It's been so long. I know. I'm sorry.]**

* * *

Asha felt Beth's hand slip into hers and squeeze. She glanced down and realised Beth had found Daryl's hand in the same way on her other side.

_"Jeremiah Carter 1837-1874 Beloved Father"_

The three of them stood in silence contemplating the epitaph. It was obvious why this grave had caught Beth's attention.

The cemetery sprawled around a lone house. The large two story building was aged and a little ramshackle, but the golden afternoon light and rustling breeze imbued it with a sense of quietude.

After a moment Daryl shifted, straightening his crossbow where it was strung across his chest and gesturing for Beth to climb back on his back. Beth wobbled slightly on her injured foot – thanks to a mishap with a concealed trap whilst taking down a walker – before looping her arms around his neck so he could lift her piggyback style. He gestured to Asha that they should continue on towards the house. She nodded, shouldered their one remaining semi automatic – which she was carrying for its use as a club since the ammo had run out a few days ago – and took Daryl's usual position on point for their small group.

The tentative peace she'd reached with Daryl at the shack had, at least so far, lasted. It wasn't quite the easy camaraderie that they'd shared whilst hunting the Governor - they were still too wary of giving offence for that – but it was a marked improvement on their more recent treatment of each other. However it was a far cry from the closeness they'd previously shared. Asha sighed. Even as she scanned the approach to the house, noting the whisper of the long grass against her legs, she could feel Daryl behind her. The awareness of him never seemed to leave her these days. Much as she repeatedly told herself she couldn't ask anymore of him, the ache in her chest increasingly told her she wanted to.

'Wait up,' he muttered as they reached the porch. Beth slid from his back and leant against the stair rail. Pulling his bow into his hands, the steps creaked as he passed Asha and paused at the door. Without prompting, Asha swapped the rifle for her knife and took her usual spot on the other side of the door. With a quick traded glance, Daryl pounded his fist against the door frame, Asha instinctively holding her breath into the long moment that followed.

'Give it a minute,' he growled. 'It's a big house.'

Asha strained her ears, but only silence came back to meet her. Eventually Daryl grunted, pushing the unlocked door open and stepping into the hallway.

The house looked solid and secure. Someone had boarded up the bottom floor windows with thick planks of wood. The hall was dim as she followed Daryl, breathing in air that was stale, but not as stale as it should have been.

'It's clean,' Beth said, hobbling in behind her and running a finger along the hall table.

'Yeah,' Daryl grunted. 'Someone's been tending to it.'

The hairs prickled along the back of Asha's neck. 'I don't think we should stay here,' she said softly.

Daryl's eyes slid briefly to Beth's ankle.

'Gotta stop somewhere.'

'I promise not to burn this one down,' Beth said tiredly.

Asha nodded unhappily. They did need to stop. They'd been a few days on the road since setting fire to shack, the last with Beth injured. They were filthy and tired and just about out of provisions – and they hadn't seen another house for miles.

'There ain't no dead,' Daryl said, 'but we still gotta check this place properly.'

She nodded, tightening her grip on her knife, pushing open the closest door and then pausing.

'You weren't exactly right about there being no dead,' she said.

Daryl was suddenly at her shoulder as they looked at the rows of seating facing an open coffin. It was occupied, Asha could smell it, but the scent was muted somehow and overlaid with something chemical. She edged closer knife raised, but the walker – and it clearly had been a walker even though he was laid out in his Sunday best with a veneer of makeup smeared across its corrupted flesh – didn't move.

Daryl reached past her and she jumped as his arm brushed her shoulder. She hadn't heard him creep up behind her. His finger sank into the cheek of the dead man, dislodging a clump of flesh and makeup. Asha's nose wrinkled as a fresh wave of putrefaction assailed her.

'It's a damn funeral home' Daryl muttered, flicking the goop off his fingers.

'It's …strange,' Asha said. The scene in front of her was so disconnected to their reality that she wasn't really sure what to do with it.

Daryl harrumphed, turning back to where Beth leant against the door frame.

They swept the rest of the ground floor before returning to the hall, where stairs led upstairs, and a separate set of narrow stairs led down.

'Up or down?' she asked.

Down,' Daryl said. 'Ya stay here. Ain't like the idea of us all going down there together.'

Asha nodded. Too easy for someone who was hiding to slip out and trap them down there.

Shit, she really was becoming paranoid.

Daryl was looking at her oddly. 'What, no argument?'

She shook her head.

He grunted and disappeared down the stairs. A minute or two later he was back, a couple of packs of white gauze in hand.

'What's down there?' Beth asked curiously.

Daryl shrugged dismissively. 'More half painted dead. Looks like someone ran outta dolls to dress up.'

'It's beautiful,' Beth said, pushing herself upright off the wall. 'Someone wanted these people to have a funeral. Someone remembered that they used to be people, before all this.' Beth's intent gaze switched between them. 'Don't you think that's beautiful?'

Daryl grunted. 'Let's get your foot wrapped.'

Asha shrugged, avoiding Beth's gaze. Beautiful wasn't the word that came to mind so much as futile – but she wasn't sure she liked what that said about her. 'I'm gonna check upstairs,' she said instead.

'Careful,' Daryl grunted.

Asha blew sharply out her nose. 'Always.'

The house was almost as clean upstairs as down. The beds were made, although they smelt a little musty, and when she pulled the double doors to main bedroom wardrobe she found row upon row of neatly folded clothes – men's, women's and children's. She stared at them in consternation for a moment and then, leaving the robe doors wide open, she went from room to room opening all the other cupboards. With the exception of a collection of blankets in a hallway cupboard, they were all empty.

Then she went into the bathroom.

She stared blankly at the first aid kit sitting neatly and perfectly alone on a dust free shelf in the cabinet behind the mirror. An unsettled feeling spread through her body, the blatant obviousness of the bright red package taunting her as she tried to figure out what it meant.

'Asha.' Daryl's voiced echoed up the stairs, not exactly alarmed, but definitely insistent. She snatched up the kit and darted back down the stairs.

Daryl and Beth were in the kitchen – a country style kitchen with a wooden dining table – staring at the open cupboards and the row upon row of tinned and packaged goods. She pulled up short, boots skidding slightly as her mouth opened.

'Holy shit,' she breathed. Her stomach suddenly rumbling at the sight of food.

'This is someone's stash,' Daryl muttered.

'What?' Asha struggled to force thoughts past the hunger response dominating her body.

'Ain't a speak of dust it. Someone only just put it here.' Daryl was turning a can over in his hands.

Asha frowned, then lifted the first aid kit and placed it carefully in the centre of the table. Given the state of their shrunken stomachs, there wasn't much that could have torn Daryl and Beth's attention away from the food, but the first aid kit did it. Beth grabbed it eagerly, ripping the zipper back to reveal an interior that looked like it had been packed in the drug store yesterday.

Daryl looked at Asha questioningly, bottom lip folded into his mouth as he chewed on it.

'It was behind the bathroom mirror,' she said. 'There was nothing else. The shelves had been wiped clean and it was just sitting there.'

Daryl was obviously right. Someone was using this place as a stockpile.

'What if they come back?' Asha asked.

'I'll deal with 'em.'

'There's still good people,' Beth cut in.

Daryl grunted. 'Don't reckon the good ones survived.'

'If they did,' Asha said, 'I don't reckon they stayed good for long.'

'That's crap Asha,' Beth retorted.

'Oh I still reckon there are people capable of being good,' Asha admitted pessimistically. 'But most of the time they're the same people who are capable of being bad – there's just more reason to be bad these days.'

'That is such bullshit Asha,' Beth scoffed. 'You just mean that it's easier to be bad. It's always been easier to be bad. That's just all the more reason to try to be good.' The young woman shook her head. 'Besides, I don't buy it. I won't. All these people ya talking about, they can still be good if they weren't so ready to give up on everything.'

Asha lifted a shoulder, trying to shrug off vague feeling of shame at Beth's words. 'Guess I always have been a bit of a cynic,' she mumbled.

'Anyway,' Beth continued. 'Whoever put this stuff here, they didn't try to hide it. They wanted whoever came here to find it. Bad people wouldn't do that.'

Asha frowned, hoping that Beth was right but unable to settle the uneasy feeling in her stomach.

She glanced back at the food, and the feeling in her stomach shifted. Her eyes settled on a distinctive blue and yellow label. God, she hadn't had peanut butter in ages.

She snatched up a jar, digging out a finger full and closing her eyes as she wrapped her tongue around it. She couldn't help the satisfied groan as the sticky substance stuck deliciously to the roof of her mouth.

When she opened her eyes Beth was grinning at her, and Daryl had grabbed himself a jar of pig's feet of all things – but was looking pretty pleased with it.

Asha grinned back. Beth might be right, or she might be wrong, but right now they had food and that could only be a good thing.

'I'm gonna finish checking upstairs,' she said, scooping another finger full and taking the jar as she headed back towards the stairs.

* * *

Daryl splashed the last of the bucket of water on his face, shook off the excess and stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He scratched idly at the scruffy growth on his cheek. Pair of scissors wouldn't go astray. He couldn't be bothered with a razor anymore – hell he'd barely bothered with one before the turn – but he wasn't interested in challenging Rick in the beard department either.

He grabbed up his leather vest from where he'd draped it over the edge of the bath, pulling it on over the grey flanno he'd claimed from one the bedrooms. He'd de-sleeved it of course, since at the tail end of summer it was still too damn hot for sleeves, but he'd stuffed another into his pack - sleeves intact – because the weather had to turn sometime soon.

He had to admit, it wasn't terrible feeling clean again – or at least as clean as he could get with a bucket of cold water from the tank attached to the house and a clean shirt. Most of the time he was indifferent to dirt – always had been – but whilst Beth and Asha never bitched about it when they were on the road, they never missed a chance to clean up when water was available either.

Must be a girl thing.

They tried to insist he do the same.

He'd given in this time. Now that Asha had crawled out of her cone of silence, she'd given every indication of being a persistent pest about it – and he knew what a pain in the arse she could be when she had an idea in her head. He shrugged his shoulders inside his shirt to settle his vest into place. The feel of the clean shirt definitely didn't suck.

It was strange to find the house so stocked with food, medicine and clean clothes – in a range of sizes. There was no sign of whoever used to live in the house, no photos, no personal effects, none of the bits and pieces of stuff strewn around that marked pretty much every one of the thousands of houses they'd been though since the turn. The place had been wiped clean and then…restocked was the only word for it really.

He scrubbed the heels of his hands against his eyes. He wasn't sure what to make of it, but as he headed back downstairs, he hoped that Beth was right about whoever had done it not being bad people.

The front door creaked as he stepped out on the porch. Asha sat on the top step, eyes turned out to the lengthening shadows in the graveyard. She'd changed into a black t-shirt and a pair of jeans that were too big and cinched in with her belt around her waist. Her face was hidden behind her hair, still damp from her wash and hanging around her shoulders. He was suddenly reminded of easing her glove of her hand after her encounter with Seth, of her cleaning up in the river. He hadn't seen her hair out since them.

He grimaced. Damn idiot thinking about her hair.

For an instant he thought about going back inside, but his feet had other ideas and he stepped forwards sinking down silently next to her.

She glanced at him smiling slightly before turning her attention back to the distance. The sun had set and the last of the light was quickly fading from the sky. He wondered if the time would come when he wasn't half wary when he looked in her eyes, wondering if she'd slipped away again.

They sat in silence, breathing in the warm summer air. After a moment, Daryl's attention was drawn to the movement in Asha's hands. She was idly flipping her knife over and over again, her eyes still on the trees as she ran the tips of her fingers along the blade and then around the hilt. This was definitely a new habit she'd picked up. Then his eyes narrowed at the chip in the tip of the blade, the long score mark along the hilt.

He reached out and caught her wrist, taking hold of the knife. She raised her brows at him, but let him take it out of her hands.

'This ain't yours.'

He'd used Asha's blade. It was the same make, but hers didn't have either of the marks that had caught his eye.

'No,' she said sadly. 'The Governor didn't let me keep mine. It's Nash's. I took it… after…'

She reached out and brushed her fingers along the knife. 'Nash always brought my dive knives for me, and this was his favourite make.' She touched the chip in the blade tip. 'Guess his had a harder life than mine. They're good dive knifes, full tang design, stainless steel alloy that holds an edge without rusting easily. Good thing my brother was a bit of a macho idiot and picked a blade that's kinda on the big side for a dive knife.' The corner of her mouth quirked wryly as she met his eyes. 'Walker skulls are a little thicker than fish skulls.'

He ran his thumb down the edge. 'Needs sharpening,' he said, handing it back.

She smiled. 'Well, if you've got a stone or file stashed away somewhere, knock yourself out.'

'Pfft, sharpen your own damn gear.'

'Fine.' She rolled her eyes, raking her hair back off her face. Her left hand when she raised it, was marked by the puckered scar, still raw looking. He hissed through his teeth, catching her hand for a better look.

'Still oughta have this covered. Can't afford for it t' get infected.'

'I know,' she said softly.

Why was she looking at him so strangely, corners of her mouth turned up slightly? Her hand stayed soft and compliant in his as he turned it over.

'Just thought I'd let it breathe whilst there wasn't much chance of it getting dirty,' she said. 'I'll wrap it up with some of that nice clean gauze left by our kindly benefactors before we leave.' A quick frown ran across her face as she looked up at him. 'Just when do you think that's gonna be by the way?'

Daryl sighed, letting go of her hand so he could scrub tiredly at his face with both his. He hated this leadership bullshit. He could handle being in charge on a supply run and he'd always been ready to give Rick or the council his opinion, but it wasn't the same as having to people looking to him, just him, all the time, to make those decisions. He knew he could keep them alive day to day, but he didn't have a plan for the big picture shit.

'Dunno, Beth ain't gonna be able to move fast on that ankle.'

Asha was frowning as she looked out at the deepening twilight. 'Beth could be right about the people here. They could be good.'

'Could be.'

'Who's well stocked enough to leave a stash of food and medicine like that?' She sounded baffled, just like he felt. Even at their best stocked when they'd been at the prison they couldn't have afforded to do that.

'Might be worth hanging around to find out?' he suggested.

'Maybe.' Her eyes were hard when she looked back at him. 'But if we do, we don't just sit here playing house, waiting for them to come back and hoping it's all ok. I want to get a look at them before they see us.'

'Hmmm.'

'We should clear out,' she said, frowning as she thought about it. 'Find somewhere nearby to camp and keep an eye out. Or at least keep a low profile here so we can disappear if we see someone coming. Circle back and watch them.'

Daryl grunted.

She had a point, but mostly he was just glad she was making a point. It seemed another sign that she wasn't going to relapse back into blank oblivion. He'd been waiting for it to happen since they'd burnt down the shack, but so far she seemed to be holding on.

'What?' she challenged. 'You think I'm paranoid?'

'Paranoid's better than not givin' a shit.'

She actually went pink, looking quickly away. 'Well, someone who means a lot to me pointed out that I needed to stop sulking and pull my own weight.' She swiped both hands down past the corners of her mouth. 'God it was getting heavy though. And I was so tired.'

'How tired?' He frowned at her.

'Tired enough to think about it,' she admitted softly, perhaps a little shamefully. She suddenly looked grey with exhaustion, all the long hard days etched in deep lines on her face. After a moment of silence she glanced at him. 'You never have?'

Daryl snorted. 'If I was gonna opt out, I would have done it a long time ago. He gestured vaguely. 'Long before any of this.'

Asha was watching him from the corner of her eye. 'Maybe Beth is right about you being the last man standing.'

'Ain't nothin' to be proud of.'

There was a moment of silence before Asha spoke again. 'There's gotta be more to life than just surviving cause we're able to.'

He stared at her stunned. She was frowning in thought. He suddenly felt just how different their pasts had been.

'Best part of my life's been since the turn, ' he said quietly. 'The prison, what we had-'

She glanced sharply at him.

'The group,' he clarified quickly, feeling his neck flushing. 'What we all had together. Community.'

She nodded, looking away.

He really had been thinking about the group, but after her look, he wasn't sure that he didn't mean what they'd had more specifically too. He chewed his bottom lip for a moment. Maybe most of all damn it.

She was gazing pensively into the distance. 'We really built something there. Just like Hershel wanted. Could it really be that simple? Maybe we just have to work harder to balance out all the shit that's out there with good days in order to make it all worthwhile?'

Daryl had the feeling that she wasn't really talking to him anymore. But then she glanced at him and smiled a crooked half smile. 'You know what that means right? We need to have more days like the one we had by the river and-'

She suddenly went bright pink and focused on her hands.

Recollection of that day flooded him. It had been a good day. One of the best, and he was lost for a moment as he remembered the feel of the sun falling through the leaves and a scraggly cat sauntering out from the bushes.

And he remembered the night that had followed.

'At any rate,' Asha said, shaking her head slightly as if to clear her thoughts. 'I'm still here now, but that means I've got to really be here, even if that means I'm acting a bit paranoid.

Daryl blinked, trying to recall their earlier track of conversation. 'Paranoid ain't gonna get us killed, not being paranoid might.'

'So you do think I'm paranoid?'

Her hair had fallen back over her face, but he could see the corner of her mouth lifting in a smile. His hand twitched as he thought about brushing the hair of her face and raked his fingers through his own hair for something to do.

She sighed leaning forwards and resting her forehead in the palms of her hands.

'So that's it then?' she asked softly. 'That's all the plan we've got?' Her voice dripped with self derision. 'Maybe hang around and see who shows up? Hope they're good and they've got somewhere safe.'

Daryl grunted. Spoken out loud it sounded like wishful thinking.

Asha sighed again. 'What was the plan before we found this place?'

'Head south. Easier to ride out the winter.'

Asha nodded. There was the faintest shimmer of hope behind her eyes when she looked up. 'Michonne knows my code. We could leave some signs.'

It was dangerous to hope too much that that would lead somewhere, but he shrugged anyway. 'We can do that too.'

Behind them, strains of piano music suddenly drifted out the open door.

'She shouldn't be doing that,' Asha said brow furrowing. 'Someone might hear.'

'Ya wanna tell her to stop?'

Asha hesitated. 'No. Let her play for a bit. She shouldn't have to stop. She should be able to play as long as she wants, sing as loudly as she wants. She should be in a house filled with her family, with a fridge full of food, be going to sleep in a warm bed with her biggest concern what she plans to do after graduating school.' She sighed heavily. 'At least she can have the music and the warm bed tonight. Besides, she's not playing that loudly.'

They sat quietly, listening to the music and Beth's sweet singing.

'I don't know how she does it,' Asha added softly.

Daryl raised an eyebrow.

She smiled a sardonic little smile. 'Keeps the faith,' she explained. 'After everything, she's still full of light when the rest of us are…' She trailed off and shrugged.

Daryl grunted, but he knew what Asha meant. Ever since Beth had decided not to take her own life at the farm, she'd had a positivity that he'd never really understood. 'She can play, he agreed 'But ain't no one gonna be sleeping in a bed tonight.'

Asha raised her brows at him.

'We'll be downstairs, where the exits are.'

'Thought you said the place was boarded up tight?'

'Yeah, too tight actually. I loosened the boards on one of the windows in the back room in case we need a rear exit. Guess you ain't the only paranoid one.'

Asha laughed softly, nudging him gently with her shoulder.

The corner of his mouth twitched upwards at the casual contact.

They sat there as the dark settled in accompanied by the quiet sounds of Beth's music, until Daryl suddenly tensed. There was a shadow moving between the headstones, too fast to be a walker, but low to the ground. He reached for his crossbow. Asha shifted as he moved, leaning forward, eyes alert.

'What is it?'

Daryl swung the bow in the shadow's direction. 'Dunno.'

The shadow edged closer, disappearing occasionally behind the headstones, but making its way inexorably towards the house.

Daryl stepped silently off the stairs, Asha behind him knife in hand.

The shadow had disappeared, and Daryl stepped forward, think he was going to have to go into the graveyard. Asha gripped his arm, shaking her head. Then the darkness barked, and the tension drained from his shoulders as a dog shaped shadow trotted out of the darkness.

'Don't shoot it,' Asha said.

'Ain't gonna shoot it,' he muttered disgustedly, lowering his crossbow. 'We ain't that hard up for meat.'

Asha exhaled in relief turning back to the stairs. 'Mangy mutt,' she muttered under her breath.

The mutt was mangy – a one eyed creature of indiscernible breed with a mess of grey matted fur. Daryl crouched down, holding a hand out. 'Come on dog, what are ya doing out here. Ya hungry?'

The dog whined softly, taking a couple of hesitant steps forward and then stopping.

'That thing is not coming in the house,' Asha said from the top of the stairs. 'I can smell it from here.'

As if it understood, the hound barked suddenly and then trotted away into the darkness.

'What have you got against dogs?'

'Nothing, when they don't stink like an open sewer. Dogs are great,' she paused in the door heading back into the house and grinned. 'I mean, they're not cats, but they're pretty good.'


	45. Chapter 45

**[A/N: Thanks to the reviewers on the last chapter! Makes my day to hear what you're liking or looking forward to in this story. Super short chapter this time sorry - it really should have gone up as part of the last chapter. Just editing the next one though, so it shouldn't be too long.]**

* * *

Daryl pushed open the door to the master bedroom. Asha had gone upstairs to collect blankets for their makeshift beds downstairs, but that had been ages ago, and she hadn't answered when he'd called up the stairs.

The room was faintly illuminated by the single candle she had taken with her. Asha had pitched stomach down crosswise across the queen sized bed, face buried in the pillow her arms were tucked under.

'I know I can't sleep in it,' she mumbled without lifting her head. 'But I just had to lay down on it for a minute. I am so, so tired, and so damn sore from sleeping in the dirt and it's just too damn comfy.'

She reached out an arm and patted the mattress beside her.

Daryl hesitated for a moment before crossing the room and collapsing on his back on the bed.

'See?'

He grunted.

It was comfortable. Damn sight more comfortable than the ground outside, or even the thin prison mattresses they'd been used to before that.

For several long minutes he watched the flickering candlelight bounce of the walls, painfully aware of Asha's steady breath a bare foot or so away from him. She sounded as though she was asleep. He suddenly realised that this was the first time he'd ever laid beside her in something that could properly be called a bed.

Her eyes were closed behind the fan of hair across her face and shoulders. His hand shifted of its own accord. He couldn't help it. There was something about it hanging loose that way.

Her eyes snapped open as his fingers brushed across her temple, sweeping her hair behind her ear. He jerked his hand back, grimacing internally at how light a sleeper she was. She blinked at him a couple of times and then her hand snaked out and caught his, pulling it towards her as she rolled onto her side to look at him. Her lips brushed across his knuckles, before she wrapped both hands around his. Her skin was cool and his pulse quickened at the contact.

'I miss you,' she whispered softly.

Daryl's throat thickened, but he stayed silent. After all they'd been through what did that really mean?

Her face flickered with a play of emotions, but then she spoke again.

'I don't regret anything that happened between us. I don't know where that leaves us, but I won't regret it. Whatever it was, it was good, and that day we had by the river reminded me that there are still things worth living for, even in all this.'

Daryl's chest tightened with a sudden emotion that he couldn't place. 'What do you want from me Asha.' The words slipped from him.

Her green eyes widened and she took a deep breath. 'I want… I want the only thing I've ever wanted from you. For you to see me - really see me - and not turn away.'

There was a vulnerability shining in her eyes, before she blinked a couple times and looked away. 'From anyone else I could handle it, but you… '

Daryl frowned instinctively. He knew too well the feeling of expecting people to think you were worthless, it just never occurred to him that she could feel that way – even knowing how she felt about some of the things she'd done since the world had gone to shit. Without thinking about what he was doing he gripped her hands, pulling her towards him across the bed.

She curled into his chest, hands sliding up his chest and along his neck.

'And I want this,' she said murmured softly, lips tickling him where they were pressed into his neck. 'I want you. I want what we had together back.' She suddenly pulled back and looked at him intently, eyes shimmering. 'But not if it's going to put our friendship at risk. It's your call.'

He wasn't even sure what they'd had the first time around – they'd barely _had_ a first time round. Did he want that back?

'We ain't friends Asha,' he muttered, feeling her stiffen. 'We're family, whatever else we might be too. Ain't nothin' changing that.'

Her body trembled slightly and there was a muffled hiccup type sound as she buried her face back in his chest.

Damn it why did she have to fit so well against him? He might be a damn idiot but he wasn't made of steel either. How could he not want what she was offering?

He slid a hand around the back of her neck and titled her head back to face him. Her eyes were red rimmed and she jerked a hand to wipe her cheeks.

'Ya want this?' he asked.

She nodded, bottom lip trapped between her teeth. Her eyes were fixed on his lips. He wanted to hear her say it again. 'Sure about it?'

She smiled up at him. 'I'm a big girl remember.' Her voice was husky and he wondered if she was remembering that night in the guard tower too. Her fingers curled around the front of his shirt. 'Yes Daryl, I want this.'

Her breath was warm on his cheek, lips bare inches from his.

He didn't know what he was doing anymore, but right then he was tired of fighting it. He wanted her, and she was right there, wanting him. He groaned, claiming her lips with his. They moulded to his, parting under his tongue as she melted against him.

'Daryl,' she whimpered softly, the sound of his name sending a jolt though his body that had him straining against the inside of his jeans.

He kept a hand tangled in her hair as he dragged his lips along her throat. A shiver ran the length of her body, and he smiled at the effect he was having on her.

'Don't stop,' she whispered.

Blood pulsing, he felt more alive than he had…since the last time they'd been together like this, and when he pulled back and looked into Asha's lust dark eyes he could see the same fire running though her. God he'd fuck her brains out every day if that was what it took to keep her with him.

He buried his face in her hair. 'Don't disappear again,' he murmured.

One hand tightened in his shirt as the other slid around the back of his neck. 'Never,' she whispered fiercely. 'Maybe you will be the last man standing, but I plan on standing with you as long as I can.'


	46. Chapter 46

**[A/N: Meant to have this up days ago but work has been crazy times. Really hope you guys enjoy this one. **

**Quick shout out to the new followers and favourites (over 200 favourites and 300 followers, pretty chuffed about that!). So many thanks to the reviewers. Sakura, what a compliment! The point of fiction is to make people feel something, so was super happy to read your review! For those of you waiting to see how the grady plot line pans out, you'll have to wait and see - but we are definitely getting to the pointy end of this story.]**

* * *

They spent the next day at the funeral home, figuring the benefit to Beth's ankle outweighed the risk of the former occupants suddenly reappearing. Night had fallen and Beth and Asha were in the kitchen when Daryl stormed in, slamming an open jar of pigs feet on the bench. The cans strung across the front steps rattled faintly.

'Damn dog. What type of mutt doesn't like pig's feet?'

Asha snorted. 'That stupid dog has been toying with you all day. I don't know why you don't just give up?'

Daryl scowled at her, slumping into a chair and plucking a pig's foot from the jar. Their eyes met and her lips twitched, cheeks heating. Apparently they'd been louder the previous night than they'd thought. Beth hadn't been able to look either of them in the eye when they'd come back downstairs. But damn it, Asha wasn't going to feel bad anything that made her smile anymore.

Somewhere in the distance outside the dog barked.

She went back to packing cans and jars into her pack. Their second pack was already sitting beside the semi automatic in the hallway, packed with the first aid kit, a piece of warm clothing for each of them, a jar of peanut butter and a bottle of water.

Starting tomorrow they were going to scope out the local area, checking for somewhere nearby where they could watch and wait for the return of mysterious stockists of the house. They figured they'd give it two weeks, and if they hadn't seen the former occupants they'd stock up and keep heading south, following Daryl's original plan. The funeral home was too big and too isolated for the three of them to be able to defend it. Neither Asha nor Daryl were happy to stay there long term.

Beth thought they were over reacting.

'I'm gonna leave a note,' the young woman said.

'Good idea,' Asha said. 'Might make a good impression if we're still around when they get back.'

'That's not why I'm doing it.'

'I know. But it can't hurt.' Asha closed up the pack and dropped it in the hall next to the other one.

'So, what's for dinner tonight?' she asked, returning to the kitchen. The open cupboards seemed barely depleted by the items they'd taken. 'Peanut butter and jelly and diet soda – that's a nutritional smorgasboard right there. God what I wouldn't give for a huge bowl of freshly steamed veggies.'

'Veggies,' Beth exclaimed. 'Jeez Asha that's boring. Give me chocolate cake, and brownies and lemon cheesecake.'

Beth closed her eyes and licked her lips.

Asha laughed. 'Why do I get the feeling you can bake all of those?'

Beth nodded. 'Of course.'

'How about a steak?' Asha asked, warming to the subject. 'A nice rare steak. I never used to think that much of beef but these days I feel like I could eat half a cow. And a glass of good red wine.' She closed her eyes, drooling over the mental image.

'What do you miss Daryl?' Beth asked.

The shaggy haired man grunted, unscrewing a jar of peanut butter.

'Come on Daryl,' Asha prompted. 'There's gotta be something.'

He shrugged. 'Cigarettes…and fresh coffee.'

'Oh god yeah,' Asha agreed, 'If I could just smell a cup of fresh coffee. You know what else I miss? Turning on a tap and having clean water- '

'_Hot_ clean water,' Beth grinned.

The string of cans across the front steps suddenly rattled vigorously.

'I'm gonna give that damn dog one last chance,' Daryl said, scooping out a pig's foot and heading into the hall.

'You miss baking?' Asha asked Beth.

The young woman shrugged. 'Yeah. Stupid thing to miss really, but-'

'Asha,' Daryl bellowed from the door.

It took an instant for the sound of feet scrabbling against floorboards and the groans of the dead to register in her brain. She leapt through the door, grabbing up Daryl's crossbow. Daryl strained, back against the front door, feet slipping, as the horde surged forward, hands and jaws scrapping around the door. The door was sliding slowly, relentlessly open. He waved desperately for his crossbow and Asha tossed it to him.

'Go,' he hissed.

Asha snarled, pulling her knife and throwing her weight against the door beside him, striking at a walker skull through the ever widening gap.

'No chance.'

There were too many. The door kept slipping open.

'We can't hold em. Ya gotta get Beth out.'

'No.'

Daryl's eyes bored into her, fierce and focused. Crossbow loaded, he was waiting for her to get out of the way before he could fire. Asha's feet skidded on the boards and her stomach sank.

'Go out the window, I'll meet ya on the road out back.'

Asha's world narrowed down to the blue of Daryl's eyes.

_Don't make me leave you. _

'Asha,' he hissed urgently.

She nodded jerkily, feeling as though she was tearing in two. 'The road out back,' she promised before twisting back to face the hallway.

'Beth,' she hollered.

The young woman had hobbled to the hallway. 'Grab a pack, we're going out the back.'

'We can't leave Daryl,' she said, but she was scooping up a pack even as she spoke.

Asha glanced back at Daryl, heart in mouth. For a moment Asha didn't think she'd be able to move, that her body wouldn't let her leave him behind, no matter what her mind rationalised.

His blue eyes blazed.

'Go,' he roared, shoving her in the arm, and she found herself lurching towards Beth.

She grabbed the rifle, yanked the second pack onto her back and slung Beth's arm over her shoulder. The roars of the dead suddenly surged as the door crashed open and Daryl's crossbow twanged.

Keeping Beth's arm tight over her shoulder they raced through house. Wrenching the loose board from the window Asha shouldered it open, the sound of the dead swelling behind her. She had to let Beth climb out herself, turning back to the room to drive her blade through the face of the walker that lurched in behind them.

Beth disappeared through the window, collapsing with a small cry to the ground outside. Asha allowed her barely half an instant to get out of the way before she planted her heel in the chest of the next walker, forcing it back and using the scant moment bought to scramble out the window herself. Heart thudding, she landed next to Beth, both jerking back in unison as the top half of a walker leant through the window after them groping desperately.

Asha slung Beth's arm across her shoulder, pulling the younger woman up and they staggered towards the road. She scanned the tree lined darkness, watching for the dead, but part of her mind was screaming Daryl's name as she listened to the horde swarming the house. Beth stumbled, and she tried desperately to mute down that voice.

She had a job to do.

She felt asphalt under her boots and pulled to a sudden stop, carefully steadying Beth on her feet before turning back to the house. She took an involuntary step towards it and stopped, chest heaving.

'Go,' Beth said.

The house writhed with the dead in the darkness. Asha stared, wrung with indecision. 'I can't,' she hissed in frustration.

'I'll be fine,' Beth said, hopping a little unevenly.

Asha glared at the house as if she could drag Daryl through the back window through sheer force of will – but none of the shapes reeling through the trees were Daryl, they weren't even human anymore. She swallowed the ice in her belly and tightened her grip on the knife. If he didn't show soon, they'd have to run or be overwhelmed.

'He said he'd meet us here Beth, he'll be here.'

_He better, or I will go in there and drag him out by his damn too long hair._

A shadow reeled out onto the road snarling, and happy to vent her frustration and fear on something, Asha almost ran towards it, kicking it viciously in the side of the knee and planting her knife in its skull as it pitched to the ground.

She looked back at Beth, and suddenly the back of her head exploded in pain and her vision darkened. For a moment, she lost all sensation, she was nothing, hanging in the darkness, not even sure she was breathing. Beth screamed her name, stark and terror filled, but she couldn't move.

Something was dragging her along the road, skin tearing from her shoulder. Beth screamed again but her body still wouldn't respond. She couldn't see and white noise roared in her ears.

Then there was Daryl's voice, raw and raging. 'Asha. Beth. Asha.'

He was distant, but coming closer.

'Daryl.' Her voice was an incomprehensible croak. Feeling started to return, and she felt rough asphalt under her cheek.

There was a hand under her head, rough but gentle.

_Daryl._

'Beth?' she croaked.

'Yeah the car, I saw,' Daryl said, voice both gravelly and soft. Her vision, starting to come back was still blurry, but she felt him gather her gently into his arms. 'What happened?' he asked.

She tried to shake her head and then groaned. 'I don't know.' She lifted tentative fingers to the soft spot at the back of her head. 'Something - someone hit me. I think. I didn't see anything.' She tried to focus. 'There was a car?'

Daryl grunted. 'We gotta move baby.'

He was comfortingly solid as he pulled her to her feet. The road spun, but she managed to hold her head upright, and she could hear the walkers around them, although she still couldn't see clearly.

'Ya ok?' Daryl asked, arm under her ribs.

'Yeah,' she said unsteadily, head thumping.

They made it about ten paces before she dropped sideways, retching.

'Fuck, Asha.' He sounded far away, like she was under water. She retched again, then swallowed hard as the nausea rolled away from her.

'Asha,' Daryl's voice sounded closer.

'I'm ok.'

'Ya ain't.'

'No.' She spat on the ground trying to rid her mouth of the taste of vomit - at least she could tell which way the ground was - and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. 'But we gotta get Beth.'

Daryl grunted, but she was right. He tightened his grip on her and they loped unevenly after the car.

* * *

The sun was up before they gave up the chase, and only then because they lost the trail. Slumped on her knees, Asha squinted against the glare, sucking breaths that seemed unable to fill her lungs. Her skull felt like it was several sizes too small for her brain and sharp white light stabbed her vision when she moved her head too quickly. The torn skin on her shoulder alternatively stung and itched as the blood dried.

Daryl stumbled across the intersection, weaving, crossbow dragging as he searched for signs of the car's passage. A gentle breeze rustled the loose leaves, rolling them across intersection and into the trees – eroding any chance they had of learning which way the car had gone.

Asha sagged defeated.

'Daryl.'

'Nah,' he grunted, weaving unsteadily but crisscrossing the intersection determinedly.

'Daryl,' she tried again.

He didn't answer, but she saw his jaw stiffen as he paced.

She sighed, walking her hands forward to stretch out on the road, head rested on her arm as she waited.

She must have dozed. When she woke, her parched throat felt like it was lined with the baking tarmac she was lying on. Her head was throbbing. Daryl sat cross legged in the middle of the intersection, head hanging and shoulders slumped. The image of dejection made Asha's heart ache and filled her with fury. Ignoring the ache in her body she pushed to her feet, wobbling on her way towards him and crouching down. She pulled his chin up, stomach lurching unhappily at his grey face and blank eyes.

'A black car with a white cross painted in the back window,' she said, recalling his earlier description of the car. 'We'll find her.'

She took her doubt and sunk it deep in her belly, next to her fear of what was presently happening to Beth.

They had to find her.

She smoothed his hair out of the way and pressed her lips briefly to Daryl's forehead, before glancing around.

'I'm gonna look for water.' The single water bottle in her pack was long since empty, and a refill was well needed.

* * *

The water in the refilled bottle sloshed in her pack as she walked back towards the intersection. She'd drunk her fill at the small creek she'd found – grateful that it hadn't been too far and that it was running clear, since she didn't have the means to boil it. It was blessedly cool under the trees and Asha concentrated with single minded determination on where she put her feet. Anything to keep her mind off Beth.

She shifted her shoulders guiltily. Yeah it had hurt when they'd lost people in the past, but it had been so long since she'd had someone taken right in front of her.

So long since she'd been personally responsible.

All she'd had to do was get Beth out to the road and keep her alive until Daryl joined them.

How could she have not even heard the car that had taken Beth?

She realised she was digging her nails into her arm and angrily shook her hand out.

How did Daryl do it? How did he take this on each time he took a group on a run?

She sagged with the weight of it.

It reminded her too much of Ren.

She shuddered, and found herself praying to a god she didn't believe in that Beth hadn't been taken by the same type of men. She didn't have it in her to follow Beth the way she'd followed Ren only to find her the same way.

She forced herself to concentrate on her feet again, trying to shift them silently through the leaf litter the way Daryl had shown her – although she'd never entirely caught the trick of it.

It was mere chance that she looked up as she reached the tree line near the road. She missed a step, leaning unsteadily against a tree as her breath seized and her stomach contracted into a tiny ball.

Daryl was on his feet, alone, cross bow raised, bolt tip a mere foot away from the face of a grey haired man in a denim vest. The man's hands were up and he was smiling despite a bloodied lip, but his relaxed stance was little comfort in view of the half a dozen or so large men who had an array of weaponry trained on Daryl.

Around half the men had their backs to her, but those she could see had the hard lined faces of men who had found the new world bloody and hadn't baulked. They stood with the easy confidence of a pack with the numbers, salivating before the kill. Asha was sure the smile on grey hair's face was meant to be non threatening, but he'd only managed a wolfish grin.

Hands trembling, Asha pulled the semi automatic off her shoulder and held it in front of her. The collection of miscellaneous weaponry pointed at Daryl consisted of a bow and arrow, a handgun, what looked like a bayonet, and a couple of hunting rifles. There was nothing to match her assault rifle.

If it had been loaded.

She took a shaky breath, and then another, a feeling of calm suddenly descending.

Either she walked away with Daryl or not at all.

Her hands were suddenly steady on the rifle as she swung it up to bear on the jackals and stepped out of the trees.

Grey hair was speaking to Daryl. 'You pull that trigger, these boys are gonna drop you several times over.'

'Not before I drop half of them,' Asha said loudly, forcing herself to speak a little slower than usual to disguise any tremor in her voice.

The man closest to her, a stocky balding guy, spun around and Asha found herself staring down the barrel of hunting rifle. She blinked once, and but feigning a nonchalance she didn't entirely feel, ignored it entirely and kept focus on the leader.

She was reluctantly impressed that none of the other men so much as glanced in her direction.

'Well now sweetheart,' grey hair said. 'You and your friend are pretty well outnumbered, ain't no reason to be doing anything stupid.'

'Stupid depends on your perspective,' she replied coolly. 'You've got the numbers, but I'd say the hardware's in my favour. Might not even things out exactly, but I won't be going down alone.'

'And all of this starts with a bolt in your brain,' Daryl snarled.

'And a bullet in yours straight after friend,' grey hair said calmly.

'Don't know about you,' Asha said. 'But personally I'm in favour of a plan that leaves less bodies on the ground.'

Grey hair suddenly laughed with the comfortable self-assurance of a man holding all the cards. 'What ya got in mind girl?'

Asha nodded at Daryl. 'He comes over here to me. We go one way, you lot go the other. Simple.'

He nodded. 'That is one option. But I feel like it might be a wasted opportunity.'

Asha's eyes narrowed.

'No-one can go it alone in this world anymore,' he continued. 'And the two of you, you're only one person away from being alone.'

'Ain't interested,' Daryl growled.

'Think about it son, ya lasted this long, you know what this world is like.'

'He'd think better from over here,' Asha snapped.

Grey hair held up his hands 'Of course, ain't no bad blood here, just possibilities for all of us.' He gestured with his head in Asha's direction. 'Go on.'

Daryl scowled at the man an instant longer before moving slowly towards her, crossbow trained on grey hair the whole time.

Asha felt as though a part of herself had been returned as fell in beside her. Her knees were suddenly weak and she resisted the urge to grab hold of him. This was not a group to show weakness in front of.

The attention of all the men came with him.

'Claimed,' said the tall man with the bow and arrow as his gaze landed on her. He spat sideways through his teeth, looking her over with a leer ten times oilier than anything Merle had ever rustled up.

Asha's skin crawled.

'Shut up,' snapped grey hair with barest show of teeth, but it was enough to quell the bowman. His smile was back in place when he turned back to Daryl and Asha.

'The name's Joe,' he started, but was abruptly interrupted by the giant of a man standing next to him.

'Dios mio, Asha is that you?'

Asha's head snapped around and she stared blankly at the grizzled Hispanic man until his dirt stained face visage suddenly resolved into a familiar face - a very familiar face but one she hadn't seen since well before the turn.

Daryl's hand snaked around her elbow as she wobbled on her feet.

'Holy shit,' she whispered incredulously. 'Tony.'

Sound of rushing blood filled her ears and everything went black.


	47. Chapter 47

**[A/N: I've obviously taken quite a few liberties with Tony's character. hope that doesn't bother anyone too much.]**

* * *

Daryl reached out a hand to Asha's wrist where she hung limp over Tony's shoulder, feeling for her pulse at the base of her thumb. He didn't bother counting. He had no idea how many beats per minute an ordinary heart rate was, but the feel of her blood fluttering in some sort of rhythm under the skin was reassuring.

He'd carried her himself to start with, but the lack of rest and food was telling on him and he'd lagged further behind. Tony was built like a front rower and hadn't asked so much as just taken her out of his arms – muttering disgustedly that he wasn't going to hurt her when Daryl had snapped at him to keep his hands to himself.

The huge man carried Asha's weight as though it was nothing.

Daryl wasn't thrilled with the change to their travelling circumstances. He was pissed he'd let half a dozen men sneak up on him, and he was focussing on that anger in preference to the worry that had knotted his guts since Asha's eyes had rolled back in her head as she'd collapsed.

Her loss of consciousness hadn't left him with much choice. There was no way of knowing how long she'd be out. They had no immediate shelter. He could carry her for a bit, but not fast, so they were at the mercy of anyone – dead or living – that came past. Their encounter with the horde and car the night before was too fresh for that risk to be discounted.

Still, even with all that, he might have taken their chances if it hadn't been clear that Asha had recognised Tony, and whilst Daryl had been crouched over Asha's unconscious form, anxiously checking she was still breathing, the huge Hispanic man had sounded genuine when he'd told Joe that he wasn't ok with leaving her behind in to die. He'd sounded a little too genuine, truth be told, like Asha had once meant something to him.

Daryl knew men like this. He recognised them for what they were, a pack – not of wolves which might imply some sort of family or honour – but jackals, thrown together by circumstance and bound by the thinnest veneer of order. He'd known men like this before – hell, most of the men he'd known before the turn had been like this.

His position at the rear of the group let him discretely assess their new travelling companions.

Tony and Joe were nearest to him. Whatever his discomfort about Tony's familiarity with Asha, the big man's unwillingness to leave her to die meant he wasn't the most immediate threat. Joe was obviously in charge, and Daryl was careful not to read too much into the genial face the grey haired man had been showing them so far – he was pretty sure Joe wasn't keeping control of this group with smiles and kind words.

The four remaining members were ranged at the front of the group. Harley and Billy were two virtually indistinguishable scrawny guys who seemed largely ambivalent about Asha and Daryls' presence. Dan, a balding somehow still slightly pudgy guy, seemed downright uninterested in them. The three of them walked with their attention on the road.

The asshole with the bow, Len, tailed those three, tossing frequent glances over his shoulder at Asha's arse where she was draped over Tony's shoulder. Daryl's lip twitched in a snarl every time his eyes fell on the man.

He'd seen that look in other men's eyes before, even felt it in his own on the odd occasion. It was the look a man gave a woman when he was stripping her naked in his head.

He was gonna gut that leering bastard if he didn't keep his eyes to himself.

Needing to distract himself as much as out of any real interest, he turned his attention back to Tony. 'Ya knew Asha before this?'

Tony ignored him.

'Hey I'm talkin' to you.'

Tony gave him a flat look over his shoulder.

'Yeah. I knew her. She was tight with my sister.' His voice softened slightly. 'Carla. They used to bartend together.'

Daryl grunted. He couldn't recall Asha ever mentioning someone called Carla, but the bartending was consistent at least. He'd reached out to her wrist to take her pulse again when he realised Tony was giving him a carefully weighing look, his arms tightened a little too familiarly around Asha's limp form.

'Knew her well,' he said.

Daryl snarled, half raising his crossbow, ready to demand Asha be handed back – noting from the corner of his eye that Len had dropped back, a look of lean anticipation on his face.

'Enough,' Joe snapped.

Tony grumbled slightly under his breath but settled Asha more comfortably on his shoulder and turned away from the argument. Daryl grimaced but didn't push the issue. Len looked as though he was still spoiling for a fight, and it was too risky to take him on with Asha unable to defend herself.

'She in the habit of passing out like that?' Joe asked, falling into step beside him. 'Doesn't strike me as the wilting flower type.'

'Hit her head the other day,' Daryl said tersely, automatically limiting their story to the bare details. For all he knew Joe's group had a camp somewhere with a car with a white cross painted in the back window. 'Smacked it on a window frame when we got run out of a house by a horde. Been travelling all night.'

'Just the two of you?'

'Had a group once.' Daryl found his eyes back on Asha, blonde braid swinging where she hung upside down. 'But lost 'em a while back.'

'How do we know this ain't who we're looking for?' Len cut in aggressively. 'White guy, 40s, dark hair? And there was that woman's shirt. It coulda been hers. She coulda been hiding somewhere nearby.'

Daryl squinted, hoping he didn't look as baffled as he felt.

Joe looked questioningly at Tony.

'It ain't him,' the large man said, sounding a little reluctant. 'Puto had a serious beard.'

'He coulda shaved,' Len suggested.

Tony gestured at Daryl with his head. 'He looked like he's shaved lately? It ain't him I'm tellin' ya. Face is wrong.'

'Good enough for me,' Joe said dismissively.

Len glowered at him for a moment, but eventually he too turned his attention back to the road.

Daryl kept his face impassive and voice only mildly curious. 'Ya looking for someone?'

Joe's look weighed him a moment before he answered. 'Yeah. Guy matching the description Len just gave. Tony's the only one who saw him. He'd mostly healed up, but it looked like he'd been in a fairly serious fight. Was hiding out in a house we searched. Killed one of our friends.' Joe's eyes narrowed at him. 'Why? You know someone who matches that description.'

Daryl snorted. 'Ain't much of a description, but it sure ain't match her.' He pointed at Asha. 'She's the only travelling companion I've had lately.'

Joe nodded, seemingly satisfied, and they walked on in silence.

Despite what he'd said - and despite the description being very vague – Daryl couldn't shake it from his mind, especially the detail about the beard.

He knew one man who had that stand out feature.

* * *

Asha woke up groggy. As the mental fog slowly shifted, she panicked as she realised she was physically restrained. The weight across her chest tightened, and she twisted, suffocating, forcing her eyes open against the too bright light, and then relaxing as she recognised Daryl's arm draped across her. He was warm against her back and blinked at her bleary eyed as she looked over her shoulder.

'Had to sleep,' he muttered, lifting his arm from over her and detangling the other from inside her shirt where it was looped through the back of her bra strap. 'But wanted to wake if you did.'

A feeling of warmth swelled outwards from her belly.

'Well I'm awake,' she said, forcing a small smile against the blinding pain in her head. She lifted a shaky hand to her temple. 'How long have I been out?'

Daryl pushed himself to a sitting position and raked the hair off his face. 'All night, most of yesterday too.'

Asha grunted noncommittally, carefully resting her head back on the ground. Longer than she would have liked, but the way her head was hurting she figured she should be grateful it wasn't days.

Daryl scowled as he looked around, Asha following his gaze.

Although the light had seemed unnaturally bright to her when she woke, it was early morning, the sky only lightly stained by the dawn. A handful of slumbering blanket wrapped shapes lay on the ground, and Asha stared at them perplexed before her eyes travelled past, settling on a large dark man, awake, back settled against a tree, presumably on watch.

'Tony,' she whispered, the events of yesterday suddenly rushing back to her.

She glanced back a Daryl, feeling anew a bolt of terror at how close she'd come to losing him. The glower on his face now looked to be etched from stone.

'Hola sirenita,' Tony said and Asha's gazed snapped back to him.

'Hey yourself,' she said, feeling somewhat like she'd slipped into the twilight zone. She'd never thought to see anyone she'd known from before the turn again – especially not someone she'd had a history with.

But the longer she stared at Tony's face, the more real it seemed. The time since the turn was marked subtly but clearly in the new hard lines on his face, the wary set to his eyes.

'Gonna hunt,' Daryl said abruptly, getting to his feet.

'Wait,' Asha said, latching a hand around his calf, the nearest bit of him she could reach.

He glanced at her, face unreadable as he picked up his bow. 'Ya gotta eat.'

Her stomach was so sunken in on itself it was hard as a stone. But there was another need she needed tending to first.

She bit her lip and forced herself into an upright sitting position, head spinning. 'I, ah…need to…' She waved towards the bushes, uncomfortably feeling Tony's eyes behind her. 'I don't think I can get up myself,' she admitted.

Daryl moved quickly, slinging his bow across his back, and scoping an arm under her. 'Ready?' he asked.

'Hmmm,' she murmured, teeth set to her bottom lip.

She tried to straighten her legs, but Daryl basically lifted her to her feet. Swaying alarmingly, but at least she managed to take her own weight once she was up there.

She was grateful Daryl kept his arm tight around her ribs.

'Don't go too far,' Tony said. 'Wouldn't want to mistake you for one of the dead on your way back.'

Daryl grunted sourly, steering Asha away from the slip shod camp. Asha said nothing, it was taking all her energy to stay upright.

They walked far enough into the trees to give them some privacy. Daryl leant Asha against a tree trunk, and she gripped on to it, legs shaking and breathing harder than she would have liked. Her vision was shot through with sharp white lights.

'What the hell are we doing with them?' she hissed quietly.

'You passed out,' Daryl hissed back, scanning their perimeter. 'Couldn't risk us being out in the open like that, not after Beth. And you knew him, Tony.'

'A long time ago.'

'Well he sure as shit recognised you.'

Asha looked at him, wondering at the hard tone in his voice.

'Sirenita?' Daryl asked, voice falling somewhere between bitterness and incredulity.

'We're not sticking with them,' Asha said. It was only half a question.

'Ain't that simple.'

She furrowed her brows at him

'They're following someone,' he said voice dropping, watching the trees again. 'Someone who'd looked like he was recovering from a fight, someone with a serious beard.'

Asha's head jerked up, and she winced at the sudden movement.

_Rick._

She mouthed the word, not even daring say it out loud.

Daryl chewed his lip and lifted a shoulder in a slight shrug. His eyes gave nothing away, but Asha couldn't help the spark of hope that fluttered to life in her belly.

'Wait, why are they following him?'

'Killed one of theirs. Ain't reckon their intentions are friendly if they find him.'

Asha swallowed hard, stomach twisting a little. 'What about Beth?'

Daryl 's shoulders slumped. 'No trail. Got as much chance going in this direction as any other. I ain't said nothing 'bout her. Didn't want to let anything on, not yet anyways.'

Asha nodded. That was smart. 'We can't abandon her,' she said in a small voice.

'We ain't,' but he grimaced sourly as he said it.

It felt like they were.

'You gotta go?' he asked, probably more roughly than he intended to. 'Or that just a ploy to get us out here.'

'No, I do.'

Daryl nodded and turned his back to give her some privacy.

It was a little awkward doing what she needed to whilst leaning against the tree but she managed. Frustratingly she was trembling again by the time she levered herself back upright against the tree.

'Done,' she mumbled.

Daryl growled in the back of his throat, gripping her under the arm to steady her where she clung pathetically to the tree. 'Ya need food,' he said.

'Still a jar of peanut butter in the pack.' Unfortunately their better stocked pack had been lost with Beth. Asha kicked herself for not splitting their supplies more evenly.

'That ain't gonna get ya far,' Daryl said. 'Ain't like leaving ya alone, but I might not get another chance to hunt for a bit.' He frowned, and ground the words out between clenched teeth. 'Ya trust that Tony guy enough t' stay behind if I hunt?'

Asha's brow furrowed. 'I think so, I mean he could be a whole new person, but I think there's probably enough of who he used to be for it to be ok.'

Daryl was frowning at her, she could see him weighing whether the risk was worth it.

'It'll be fine,' she said, forcing a tired smile. 'They could have killed us while we slept if they'd wanted. Besides, if we're gonna have to stick with them for a bit you won't be able to stay with me every second. Might be important to try reconnect.'

'Hmmm,' he scowled, clearly unhappy with that suggestion.

He took her weight to steer her back towards the camp. Her legs were visibly shaking by the time he deposited her back on the thin blanket they'd been sleeping under.

The grey haired man in the denim vest was awake and watched them silently.

'Joe,' Daryl acknowledged him with a short nod. 'Gonna hunt, I got time?'

'Hmmm,' Joe nodded. 'Hour or so till these guys are up and we need to be on our way.'

Daryl nodded, squeezing Asha's hand gently and shooting a hard glance at Tony before slinking away between the trees.

Asha was heart warmed by the tenderness of his grasp, and she tried to hold on to the feeling as he disappeared from sight.

He'd been gone barely a minute, just long enough for Asha to start to feel uncomfortable under Joe's unrelenting gaze, when one of the blanket shrouded shaped shifted and the bowman from yesterday unfolded from the ground. He showed no signs of having just woken from sleep and gave Asha an appraising look before speaking to Joe.

'Guess I'll go catch me some breakfast too,' he said, strutting off in the trees.

'Still can't believe it's you,' Tony said giving her a sidelong look. 'Ain't real.'

Asha eased her head sideways to look at him. 'I know what you mean.' She hesitated, wary of asking a touchy question, but part of her needed to know. 'Carla?'

Tony's face closed over and he shook his head. 'Early on. Got bit.'

Asha felt a swell of sorrow as Carla's bright eyes and ready laugh sparkled in her mind before darkening under the harsh reality of Tony's words. She reached out and touched Tony's arm. 'Sorry,' she said softly.

Tony nodded, eyes on the ground. Then he looked back at her, breaking into a suddenly smile that lifted all the hard lines from his face. 'It is good to see you though.'

Asha smiled back, and was surprised to feel a faint flutter of her old feelings for Tony - a mere echo of what they'd once been but disconcerting for their existence at all.

She blinked, looking away quickly to mask her sudden confusion. She hoped it wasn't noticeable, but as the silence dragged into awkwardness, she suspected she wasn't so lucky.

Joe coughed briefly and pushed himself to his feet. 'Well, I am gonna leave you two to get reacquainted and go keep an eye on our two hunters.'

'You been with this group long?' Asha asked Tony, eyes following the grey haired man as he ducked under the cans strung around their camp and disappeared between the trees.

'With Joe since early on, the rest we've picked up along the way. Lost a lot of others too.'

Asha sighed. 'That's the way these days.'

Tony grunted.

'Has Joe always been in charge?'

Tony grunted again. 'Yeah. He's got a system.'

She raised a brow, waiting for him to elucidate.

Tony waved a hand dismissively. 'He'll tell you about it when he's ready.'

'Are there more of you? Got a camp somewhere?'

'Not for a long time. The scavenging's better if we just keep moving. Haven't been going anywhere in particular until lately.' He grimaced as if he'd said more than he meant to.

'Lately?' Asha frowned as if this were news to her.

'Hmm. Following a guy.'

'Oh yeah? Why?' Asha tossed it out casually, hoping there was a new piece of information she could shake loose.

'Killed one of ours.'

'Hmmm. Been following him long?'

Tony shrugged. 'Few days. Joe reckons were catching up.'

Tony didn't sound as though he cared either way, scratching in the dirt at his feet with the end of a stick.

Asha let it lie, but after a moment of silence Tony looked up, a hard but hollow look in his eyes. 'Ya ain't gonna ask what we're gonna do once we catch up to him?'

Asha looked at him flatly, carefully stilling her hands against her knees so they wouldn't shake.

'No,' she said bleakly.

But even though the words weren't said aloud, her understanding of what they intended was clear as day – and part of her wondered, if she didn't suspect it was Rick, how much she would care.

With that uncomfortable question hanging over her head, the time, the distance, the hard reality wrought by the turn flooded back, erasing the false sense of familiarity that had been hovering since she'd seen Tony's face.

There was no going back to the way things had been.

Suddenly feeling both bitter and vulnerable and hating everything about this new life she turned away, carefully laying down with her back to Tony, figuring she could at least pretend to sleep until Daryl came back – even if the reality escaped her.

* * *

She didn't sleep. The ground was too hard and her head was too sore and every sound as the men stirred behind her made the skin tighten across her back. The moments dragged interminably until finally there was a rattle of the cans strung around the camp.

Asha's eyes flashed open as Daryl ducked under the line, a bloody scrap of carcass in one hand that he slapped on the ground beside their blanket.

Asha pushed herself slowly up. The sharpness of Daryl's movements and the hard set to his jaw communicating clearer than day that something had happened.

Behind him, Joe and Len trailed into camp, the later with a decidedly sour set to his face.

'What happened?' Asha asked quietly as Daryl shuffled her off their blanket so he could roll it up.

He ignored her, packing up their gear, but she could almost feel the growl hovering in the back of his throat.

'Daryl' s just been learning the lay of the land,' Joe said blandly. He glanced around at the group. 'But he'll have to explain it to you later. It's past time we were gone.'

Daryl finished cramming gear in their pack and held out a hand.

'Later,' he agreed bitterly, and Asha let him grip her around the forearm and pull her unsteadily to her feet.


End file.
